Secluded

Does your name start with S and end with H?

>>18307992

lol no. But does it help if I say yes?

>>18307998
No. I was just making sure you weren't one of mine haha. I'm sad too. Go make friends online and play vidya, remain as anonymous as possible with these friends. Give them a user name and only little generalizations about yourself to make them not curious and you'll be alright. Tell your boyfriend to stop being a cunt and pay attention if t really hasn't noticed a change in behavior. Know that all things will come to pass. You are not the same person you were 5 years ago. Look at your situation in a funny way and make a joke out of it to squeeze an experience of it. You as a person should not stunt yourself because of your family. Its hard i know but you really don't have to love the family you were born into.

>>18308011

Thanks I really appreciate what you said. What's vidya? I haven't played my PS2 since.. a long time ago. I tried to talk with my boyfriend about it and I think he's depressed too, coping in his own way.

> Know that all things will come to pass. You are not the same person you were 5 years ago. Look at your situation in a funny way and make a joke out of it to squeeze an experience of it. You as a person should not stunt yourself because of your family. Its hard i know but you really don't have to love the family you were born into.

It is hard but i'll keep this in mind

Why do you feel like this? Is the disconnection because you can't relate to other people's activities/ feelings/ way of life?

If so, what do you like to to do? How do you view life? What is your endgame?

>>18308027

I've recently been traumatized and hospitalized. I'm in one piece, kind of, but I'm messed up emotionally now. I guess I'm also ashamed of it so I think it causes the disconnect.

I'm fearful of people at this point. Fearful to go outside and I have no control over my emotions. So I just want to hide instead of crying and stuff in front of people.

I'm seeing a psych but recovery is slow.. I just feel like a total freak. I want to be myself again and be friendly, enjoy things, make friends, be pretty again, etc. I've lately really wanted to go swimming so keep in shape and get my mind off things but I don't really know how to swim. Last time I did, my friend tried to teach me by holding my head under water and 'trying to drown me'

Sorry I wrote so much. I just want to be semi-normal or functional again...

>>18308038
Time and talking to your psych will help you through this. Judging from what you've given us, there is no quick fix for your situation. What you feel is completely normal and acceptable right now.

As for swimming, stay in the shallow end and just float or bounce around.

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Hey anon. Anon here. I just wanted to let you know that I basically went through the same thing. Had a drastic change in my life, was hospitalized, and cut myself off from everyone. It felt like my soul strings had been cut and I had to reconnect back with the world. I had felt being incredibly alone. Now 3 years later things have been going alright. I have taken it slow and now am back in school and am helping out with Peer to Peer courses with people that have gone through similar experiences and may have come out with a diagnosis. It is tough to get back to who/where you want to be. Just take it day by day trying to improve a little bit at a time. it all adds up. Peace.

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>>18307985
Do you feel like a robot observing human behavior? That reality isn't.. Real? Because what you just described is how I've felt for years. I've been told it is depression, so that might be it. See a therapist or a psychiatrist. I would recommend meditating and leaving the house more, try exercising and socializing, even if online. I don't want you to end up like me. Oh, and dump your boyfriend, he doesn't love you, that's obvious. Unless he is paying for your food, what use is he?

>>18308072

Thanks anon, I think you're right there's no quick fix. I guess it's just hard to accept how I've become but I'll keep working to become healthy again.

>As for swimming, stay in the shallow end and just float or bounce around.

Ok, good idea.

>>18308090

Hi, I'm sorry to hear that you had to go through the same thing. It does feel incredibly alone and with it also comes the feeling that no one understands or cares. I'm glad to hear that 3 years later things are getting better. I've been scared to join those group meetups or workshops honestly but I think that might be a good step to think about next. Thank you for your words, they mean a lot and it helps to hear from someone who've been through a similar experience.

>>18308468

Yes, I think the detached feeling you're describing sounds like depression. My psych says I have a form of PTSD. This sounds pathetic but I'm not even sure how to socialize online, but I plan on exercising.

I spoke to my boyfriend recently about it and he said he'll try to be more supportive. He doesn't pay for my food lol but we've been together for a long time so I don't want to lose him bc he's all I have you know?

Hey OP. Yah, guys can relate.

For the past year, I feel like Ive been living on a deserted island in the middle of nowhere compared to the life I used to have.

The best thing to do is to just stay focused on the things that make you happy, and I strongly recomend picking up meditation like another anon says.

Its not stuff like sitting there and humming. Its just taking 5 minutes to clear your head and think "Ok, what problems am I facing? What can I do about them?" and realising theres no use worrying about anything outside of your control.

If you can, I also recomend finding some friends that feel similar and helping each other. Its how I used to get through life before my friends disapeared. Its kind of hard to do because people like us dont make ourselves well known.

>>18309322
Ill warn you know, socializing online has turned toxic.

Every woman just gets bombarded with sex offers, and every man gets ignored because every woman has 50 other guys messaging them and just assume theyre all pigs.

Maybe its better from the woman's side though, I wouldnt know.

>>18309342

Hmm is there any way to get out of feeling like you're living on a deserted island?

I'm not really sure what makes me happy anymore. I don't really enjoy the things that I used to anymore. I feel really detached to everything. I even wandered to /h/ for a week and felt grossed out by myself lol.

Thanks for your suggestions, I'll try meditation.

>>18309382
By finding friends to make yourself not deserted. How to do that? Im still working on that myself lol

Either than, or learning how to be content by yourself. That seems to be just naturally to me, but its more of complacent than content.

I get what you mean about your bf. Ive had a gf for almost 2 years but at this point it feels more like we just live together than anything else.

You're a female, you already won at life.

>>18309345
>Maybe it's better from the woman's side though, I wouldn't know.


Nor would I, but they always complain about constant attention.

Being something other than invisible or a piece of background scenery must be nice.

>>18307992
Top KEK

>>18309480

Really? I would imagine being male is winning at life. Anyway, depression can affect anyone regardless of gender, age, weight, attractiveness, etc.

>>18309491
>Being something other than invisible or a piece of background scenery must be nice.

I feel you bro. I dont even want to find a gf or to fuck anymore, I just want to find a female that will talk to me.

>>18307985
I feel very similar at the moment. This feeling of complete disconnectedness and mirthlessness even in the physical presence of loads of nice people and beautiful nature. All talk feels essentially meaningless, and the big void inside remains.

I wanted to share a possible hint on what might be wrong with us that I just got. It possibly is not disconnectedness to the outside, people, friends and so on and the loneliness that comes with it, but disconnectedness to inside. I just cried a bit after this thought, it seems worth following. Maybe we're just sick of compensating the lack of connection to the inside by connecting to the outside, or it just doesn't work this way anymore.

>>18309716
It's just that you're a pussy, really.

btw, I think >>>/adv/ is the most readworthy board here

>>18309322
If socializing online sucks, don't worry about it, for some it's more difficult to socialize online than it is in real life. Me included. The only reason why I'm able to post on 4chan is anonymity.

>>18309716
Theyre two seperate issues.

Speaking fron experience, lots of meditation and being at peace with yourself does wonders for depression.

But it does not cure lonliness, humans are genetically social creatures. Even most monks are around other monks

>>18308038
What was the trauma? did you attempt suicide?
I know a girl who went through something similar, she cut off from everyone for about a year, but now she's been doing much better, back in school and working and socializing and all. It helped that she moved in with her brother, so she distanced herself from the place where all the trauma started

>>18309742
That's the point, I /am/ socializing and being at parties and singing at a choire and stuff, but it does not cure this particular kind of disconnectedness.

If i was a complete loner, I'd of course think I should meet people, but that's not it.

>>18309757
Then yes, it sounds like an inner "you" issue.

Besides the earlier advice here >>18309342 , Id say the best start is to teach yourself how to sit down, calm yourself, and seperate your mind from your body

>>18309747

I'd rather not answer this, I hope this doesn't offend you and you'll understand. I'm glad to hear the girl has gotten better. It gives me hope that maybe I'll also be in a better place in a few years

OP here, I just wanted to thank everyone for their input and kind messages here in this thread. I've become extremely frightened of human interaction and you've shown a lot of care towards me.. I hope that I will get better and keep working towards becoming a better person and eventually come out of hiding from the universe. Thanks I really appreciate it