ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything GUIDELINES: Before you

>other thread still on page 2
Eat a dick, faggot.

>>18307677
There is a rule about being civil to others, did you know?

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>>18307686
lol

Men

I'm 27, been overweight all my life and it will take at least 2-3 years to lose all the weight. So I will be in my 30s which means I will basically be invisible to men AND I will also be fucked with loose skin after weight loss.

Should I just give up?

>>18307740
Not yet. Having some loose skin still might be better than being a landwhale.

>>18307740
If you lose the weight very slowly it's possible to have a fairly good figure after with some stretch marks and minimal loose skin.

>>18307740
>Should I just give up?
Women far underestimate the value of character in finding a man. If you're a good woman, a good man won't case about extra weight (within reason) or that you're in your early thirties rather than your late twenties.

>>18307759
Anon, the subtext is that she doesn't want to be invisible to a very particular type of man. You know, the type of man who can afford to be picky and probably doesn't want fatties.

>talking to a female psychology student from dating site
>wonder if I should tell her that I am on psychological treatment (social phobia and anxiety)
I have improved a lot, so I wonder if this revelation would still hurt my chances.
Thoughts?

>>18307779
Having been under psych treatment and confiding it in a psych student, I felt so used. Felt like I only piqued their interest once I mentioned my disorder. They asked me too much about it. And they lacked empathy, and it seemed like they just wanted to know so I could be some experience on their belt.

>>18307771
Some good looking and successful men are morally good, but I did miss the subtext, yes. Maybe she's not the good woman I was talking about.

>>18307779
Guy here, but that is a terrible idea. Not that there is anything wrong with your issues, or rather not that they are your fault, but it's too much too soon.

Also, this: >>18307788

>>18307793
No woman is good. They are all chameleons

>>18307797
>They are all chameleons
I always knew that women were all lizard people and sex was just an Illuminati conspiracy.

>>18307816
Don't be a smartass. No matter how "good" a woman is, once she finds a man richer than you she will jump ship

>>18307820
>she will jump ship
Ah, yes. Just like the famously nautical chameleon.

>>18307740
Every pound you lose makes you that much more attractive. I've lost a lot of weight myself but still have a long ways to go, but I still feel much more confident.

>>18307793
>Maybe she's not the good woman I was talking about.
Ugly people don't want to bang ugly people too. There's not really any moral statement behind this unless you're whining you deserve attention from the opposite sex. I mean she's claiming its going to take 2-3 years to get where she wants, so its not like she just has 20-30 extra pounds on the side.

Guys:

How often do you think about your safety?

More specifically, I'm on craigslist looking at apartment-sharing stuff and am spooked as fuck by it. I also spent two weeks in a state I've never been to, all alone, and was similarly spooked as fuck about safety.

What do you think when you see these things/travel solo?

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My girlfriend and I are both in an academic program that requires 215 lab hours/semester which we can do M-F 8:00-4:30 every week, and I generally am able to finish my lab hours completely on my own, but my gf has a lot of family stuff to take care of, and so I often sign her in and out. She's also ESL and so I help her a lot with school by proofreading her papers and explaining to her all of the corrections I make to them, and stuff like that. She failed a semester and had to repeat so we're no longer in the same class, and it's really made her insecure about things, and so I have ended up helping her more than usual, but she never wants me to just do her work, she always tries first and then has me look over it and explain corrections, so I know she's not just using me.

This is a pretty one sided thing though, she never ends up helping me academically and she feels bad about it, and like she's not intelligent. I try to reassure her and explain how she helps me in other ways but her feelings are still there.

Today I asked if she could sign me out of lab after her class was done since I'm slightly behind in hours and am very anal about this stuff, and she said she would. It's the first time I've ever asked her to do that for me, but her class got out at 4:30 right as lab closes, and she missed it by 3 minutes. She called me up literally crying and apologizing profusely and I kept just telling her that it was okay and that i would just make the hours up next week and that it wasn't a big deal. She then asked if she could come over, which was unplanned but I told her of course. After she came over she kept apologizing and I kept telling her it's okay. She seemed relieved, and then she suddenly got in the mood for dirty stuff. She says she's been with two guys before me but I have my doubts because, as much as i love her, she is god awful at anything sexual, despite being so hot.

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>>18307861
She tried to give me a blowjob for the first time in months. She tends to avoid them since when we first started dating I kept going flaccid in her mouth, because the tips of her teeth kept scraping my shaft and, while it wasn't extremely painful, it definitely didn't feel good. Ever since that experience she's extremely insecure about oral, especially since I have eaten her out to climax so many times. So after her extremely cute attempt at a blowjob, I knew it wasn't going to get any better and I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so I picked her up, threw her on the bed and told her I want the real thing, while taking her clothes off, and started fucking her. I always make sure that she cums at least once before I finish, and after twenty minutes or so, she came, and I kept going. She kept telling me to cum, and I don't know what it is about that, but if I am told to cum and am not ready or can't yet, it gets in my head. Couple that with just coming home from my dad being taken to the hospital with a severe infection, the anxiety got the best of me, and I fucked her for quite a while after that. She told me to stop because she was about to cum again, and if she did, then she'd be too exhausted to study tonight, so I stopped. There have been a lot of times in our past where I just don't finish, especially early on, and she gets very insecure about it. Afterwards she kept asking if she was pretty, if i liked her, etc. I kept doing my best to reassure her but I don't know, it feels like it's not enough and those ideas just stick with her. I don't know what I can do to reassure her.

>>18307856
Yeah, it's only natural. When I'm somewhere new especially a city, I'm ready to go if I have to. I don't go looking for it, but I trust nobody and always try to be ready.

>I'm on craigslist looking at apartment-sharing stuff and am spooked as fuck by it.
This is a big decision. It's important to be cautious. Always bring someone with you when you go to view apartments, and lock your bedroom door all the time.

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>>18307865
We have no time for actual dates right now because of school, but I will be graduating in a few weeks and hopefully getting a lucrative job soon, and I have so many plans for us, but I just hope she doesn't get so insecure that she leaves by then. How do I reassure this woman? She is somebody that I can realistically see starting a family with, she's very loyal and honest, and those are the two things I value most, but besides that she is very smart and beautiful too, and I enjoy being with her so much.

>>18307868
Stop masturbating and you won't have trouble cumming with her. Porn is fucking up your brain.

Dear Ladies,

This girl I work with is very open with me and confides in me a lot.

I had no intention of fucking her or even being attracted to her...

>just friends
>kind of know she is in a stale relationship
>she cheated on her fiance because he doesn't do anything with her and is boring
>I tell her she fucked up
>I was cheated on
>I don't talk to her much anymore
>realize I kind of did like her after the fact
>I am just the shoulder to cry on
>man up and just tell her "Hey im so sorry you are going thru this but I don't agree with what you did its happened to me before and I don't really think I can still see you the same way"


tfw she cheated on her man and it affected me for some fucking reason I lost all respect for her and now i want to fuck the shit out of her and don't even think of her as a friend anymore just some bitch. Other girl I know is telling me she must have liked me if she told me all this honestly....I figured it was because she didn't think of me as a man and just wanted to get it off her chest.

>>18307879
>I figured it was because she didn't think of me as a man and just wanted to get it off her chest.
It's this.

Hey I was the anon asking about messaging first in the precious thread, thanks for the responses. I suppose if nothing comes from it, it's a good lesson for putting yourself out there

Thanks again /adv/

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>>18307875
I actually did do this a few months once we started dating because of this reason. I used to masterbate 3-5x/day, but now it's probably 3-5x/week, not gonna stop completely, come on now. But this has definitely become an increasingly rare problem because i limit myself, but she is still very self conscious from earlier on. We also only do it maybe 2-3x/week, so I might go insane if I stopped masterbating and only released during those times.

>>18307740
No, Some people see beauty in different ways I'm sure you'd find someone who loves you regardless

>>18307889
Porn is really, really bad for you. It isn't just a meme, it alters the brain. You know it's a problem and you won't stop, so why are you here asking for advice?

>>18307879
Even if she did like you, would you really want to date someone who cheats because they're bored?

I really cared for a girl and we had a falling out. We don't talk anymore but we don't hate each other.

Is it too much to call her up and ask her to let me get some things off my chest? I want to clear up some of what happened between us, because I think there was something really special there we missed because we were caught up in a weird situation.

>>18307898
Do you have a single evidence based fact to back that up or are you just spouting memes my friend. Everything alters the brain, because every perception you have changes your chemistry to make you perceive it. All those words and you actually said nothing. I won't give up the frappe from McDicks either but it doesn't make me a fat ass

>>18307918
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU

>>18307922
>tedx
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxVBjfHzdI4
ayy lmao

No advice necessary, but I'm asking a girl out tomorrow.

Wish me luck, niggas

>>18307928
You haven't even watched it.

Anyway, enjoy your erectile dysfunction and your gf cheating on you :)

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>>18307945
>You haven't even watched it.
It's a tedx talk, there's a reason he has to settle.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-yFhR1fKWG0

>>18307930
>No advice necessary
Well, it's a good thing you're not posting on the board dedicated to asking for and giving advice; otherwise you'd look like a fucking asshole.

>>18307831
Kek

>>18307672
Why are women genetically inferior to men?

>>18308053
Yes. Women aren't as physically strong as men, they aren't as smart as men and they're uglier than men. They need make up to be pretty

Usually this thread is so chill. What happened?

How long until my girl cheats on me with this guy she goes to grad school with

>She had a birthday party
>Sent him 3 texts the day of asking if he is coming
>He shows up for 5 minutes
>Sent him a bunch of texts that night asking if he left and why he left

Shes living with me this summer, but...she really hangs out all the time with this best guy friend

>>18308118
Talk to her. She clearly wants him, you need to make things straight.

I have been with my bf for many years and had a crush on another guy for a while.
He told me that I was being unfair and prioritising the other guy over him. He told me he was perfectly fine with me having male friends, but what me and this guy had was not friendship - we were basically having a relationship without sex. He asked me to think if I wanted to stay with this guy or not, and then act consequentially. If I wanted to stay with him, I had to cut the other guy off and work on our relationship. If I wanted the other guy more, we were done.

How would you feel if your girlfriend had a crush on a celebrity?

>>18308118
>tfw a girl has never been that desperate for you

ladies

how nice is "I'm attracted to you" nice?
and how nice is "I'm only being nice, because it's polite to be nice."

>>18308138
Use the way she acts towards others as a comparison.
I'm nice to everybody, my best friend is a bit of a bitch. The same behaviour could mean "you're the love of my life" for her and nothing for me.

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>>18308130
That's pretty normal for anybody, girls or guys included, I had a crush on emma watson for the longest time until she turned into a massively spoiled SJW. It's more of a shit test than anything. No girl you meet will ever get with their celebrity crush, they just want to see how you will handle them having eyes on an ideal man, whether they know that's what they're doing or not. You have to be okay with it, or they will sense insecurity, subconsciously or not, and lose attraction for you. If they bring up a celebrity crush, you basically should say "aw that's cute, I have a celebrity crush too, actually, it's (insert name here.)" Doesn't even have to be a legit crush you have, just make it some gorgeous, drop dead, 10/10 girl, and you flip the tables completely on them. You not only show that you are secure with their idealistic attraction to a basically hypothetical other man, but you give them the same situation to grapple with, and odds are, they are not nearly as secure as you and will buckle under it, being shocked and surprised. It elevates your value in their eyes, whether they know it or not.

Guys

My boyfriend and I are apart for a few months, we meet every couple of weeks.
He lasts very little in bed (legit 10 thrusts last night). Even when we go for a second round, he lasts 3-4 minutes.
He used to last for at least over 10 minutes when we lived together.

What's wrong?

>>18307891
Men are visual creatures

>>18308130
Nobody really cares. My friend got his ass in the air
one time though because his now wife said she'd fuck jude law if she had the chance. They're celebrities man, they're practically not even people, they're like demi-gods, so any fantasies about them are purely fictional and stupid.

Ok my question now: Ladies, what is it that you find attractive in men?

>>18308159
What do you think you daft woman? He's not getting any back at home so when he (rarely) sees you he can't help but bust a quick nut.

>>18307915
I wouldn't, because I wouldn't want to be the one who was perceived as "crawling back", which is how a lot of people would see it. It makes you seem desperate and like there's no other options. You've always gotta appear to have other options brother, always, especially when you don't. lol.

>>18307856
Pretty much never. But I'm like Bane, a big guy with low rapeability.

>>18308169
I don't know. Maleness? Masculinity?

>>18308176
Can't he jerk off?

We spend 10 days apart and 4 together, its not like we never see each other. During those 4 days we fuck at least twice a day. But he nuts so quick and I don't enjoy sex at all.

>>18308169
>Ok my question now: Ladies, what is it that you find attractive in men?

Height, emotional strength, self-assurance, competence, square jawline, nice face, good personality.

>>18308138

I tend to be more shy with people I am attracted to, if anything. But I guess I look at them more because they are attractive.

>>18308185
Not that guy and I'm sure it's different for a lot of guys but for me masturbating/not masturbating has very little if any effect on my stamina because they're so different. They're not even the same sport.

She says she still has feelings for her ex but doesn't want to be together with him, she just can't forget him

What can I do/say to her to make her let go?

Other femanons
Are there any actual benefits to dating men over women? I'm 19 (F) and bi, never had a relationship due to strict parents making me focus on school throughout teenaged years. I've seen my friends date though, and overwhelmingly the lesbian relationships are more equal and more respectful. On top of that, men are really entitled when asking girls out etc.
So, all other things being equal (interests, attraction etc.), are there any benefits to dating men, or should I only date women?

>>18308169
>Ladies, what is it that you find attractive in men?
All guys I liked were very smart, knowledgeable, witty and a bit arrogant.
They had very different personalities, but mostly confrontational and pretty self confident.

In terms of looks - pale as hell, taller than me (from 5'7" to 6'5"), not obese or anorexic, darker hair, cute smile, some hint of beard, well dressed/groomed.

>>18308169
>: Ladies, what is it that you find attractive in men?
Intelligence, intellectualism, dress sense, artistic merit, confidence, empathy, compassion, introspection, then I guess hair and eyes (seriously, I'm a sucker for dark haired, skinny guys with light eyes). Finally body, and even then I really find overt muscles off putting.

>>18308195
So I just have to suck it up for a few months? Yay.

>>18308200
what autistic question is that
do you really expect an answer?
holy shit

>>18308220
>men are really entitled when asking girls out etc.

What do you think she meant by this?

>>18308200
if you're as autistic as me, you'll have so few options regardless of gender that it won't really matter. just go for who you have mutual attraction with

>>18308200
>lesbian relationships are more equal and more respectful.
IIRC lesbian relationships have an abnormally high rate of domestic abuse. They also have such dwindling sex rates that it's a studied phenomenon called Lesbian Bed Death. And now with gay marriage, early stats are showing they have an abnormally high instance of divorce as well.
>On top of that, men are really entitled when asking girls out etc.
I don't really understand what you mean by this.
I'm assuming this is a troll post, but I honestly can't imagine being in a relationship with another girl. It sounds absolutely unappealing. Also, guys can actually make a baby with you so that's a huge plus to most.

But if you want to date a girl, then just date a girl.

>>18308200
There is really no answer because relationship dynamics are so individual.
I don't really think relationship should be equal. They should be respectful, but honestly I prefer to be with someone who compensates me than to be with someone who is equal to me in all things.
I love dating men, to the point I sometimes thank god for not being lesbian.

>>18308199

Uh you can't. Sorry.

>>18308200
I am almost 30 and bi.

-Way, WAY easier to find a bf than a gf. Straight guys are in abundance and its so easy. If you limit yourself to women, then lol have fun with that.
-Women are a lot more difficult to date imho. I hate to say this, but women are more dramatic and even mean. Like lesbians have higher rates of domestic abuse than straight couples. Women are more fickle and more emotional baggage. When relationships with women turn bad they turn horrible.
-I hate to say this too, but if you like being cared for, men are more caring in my experience. But if you like "equal" I guess logically 2 woman are more equal.
-They are strong and can pick you up and carry you to the bed.
-Your relationship is recognized pretty much everywhere, no fear of being judged by anyone for dating someone of the same gender.
-You can have kids together, without wasting tons of $$ and time on the adoption process. Most people want families.

My 2c just stuff off the top of my head based on stereotypes and personal experience.

>>18308223
entitled probably means they want to pay for everything

but that wasn't what I meant

I'm more curious about >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>benefits
come on
fucking "benefits"
just what do you mean

a man has a dick
a woman has a vagina and tits
that's about all we can assume over the internet, what answer does she expect?

Men, I recently was told by a male friend (who's gay) of mine that the reason a lot of men don't ask me out is because they're kind of "intimidated" (and that was his word), because I'm "too intelligent" (I'm well on my way to professional academia etc.) and also a good musician and quite attractive (I'd say a 7/10). I don't try to flaunt any of who I am, and am actually quite shy and introverted, and certainly don't do pretentious bullshit in conversation like say "well as Plato said in ___" etc.
Do some men find academic and motivated girls
"intimidating"?

>>18308237

Its a fact that straight men are far more numerous than lesbian women.
Its a fact that hetero relationships are more universally recognized than straight ones.
Its a fact that gender roles and socialization are a thing and shape people plenty on average (along with some biology I am sure).
Its a fact that men and women produce children together. (aka vagina and dick which you act as if are no big deal).
Its a fact that men are way stronger on average.

Gender is a pretty big thing. You can assume a ton, especially when going on a dating scale like she is. I'm a bisexual woman who limits myself to men for the reasons I list >>18308234

>>18308209
Well I hope not, but anyway. Have you talked to him about it?

>>18308250
Hell no, I wish I knew academic and intelligent women. Especially musicians since we love creativity.

>>18308250
>I'd say a 7/10
Obviously not. Your gay friend is too nice to tell you you're unattractive. Everyone is a 7/10+ to their friends.

>>18308258
>Hell no, I wish I knew academic and intelligent women. Especially musicians since we love creativity.
What do you play? I play sax and cello (and a bit of bass and guitar).

>>18308209
You can tell him to get a side chick to keep his stamina up if you don't like it the current way.

>>18308262
Well, I've been told I'm attractive by a number of people, and I don't think I look bad. I dress down a lot, but that's for practicalities' sake.

>>18308250
>Do some men find academic and motivated girls "intimidating"?
Some do but it's generally grossly exaggerated. Sounds like your friend was grasping for reasons why to me.

>>18308200
Lesbians have the highest rates of domestic abuse out of all sex combinations in relationships. I really don't get why women pretend it's so much more respectful.

>>18308263
Piano but a very small amount of guitar. I mostly play synthesizers though since I enjoy experimenting with sound.

Sax is pretty cool and so is cello, most people I know are just basic guitarists or drummers. Do you play with any groups or just on your own?

>>18308255
Sort of? Last night we were having sex and he came after 10 thrusts. He said that he can't help himself and he's sorry. That I'm hotter than I've ever been (I lost 30 lbs since he left because I was sad and wouldn't eat, and then I just started working out like crazy because I was bored) and that he's not as "used" to sex as he was.

>>18308267
>I've been told I'm attractive by a number of people
By other friends and family? If you were attractive, you'd get asked out. Simple as that. Nobody is going to look at you for the first time and go, "Holy shit, she looks like she's a good musician, I'd better not ask her out."

>>18308268
>Some do but it's generally grossly exaggerated. Sounds like your friend was grasping for reasons why to me.
Like I said, I don't look bad- this is not just from friends but also from the guys that do stare etc. when I'm out in public, as well as being hit on the rare times I go out to clubs or bars- I'm talking more about men in the university I work at, that know me. I do not put much effort into makeup or form fitting clothing, but that's because it's kind of impractical.

>>18308268
>Lesbians have the highest rates of domestic abuse out of all sex combinations in relationships. I really don't get why women pretend it's so much more respectful.

That girl is only 19 and has not yet experienced the real world yet, she doesn't speak for all women. If anything, bisexual women are infamous among lesbians for eventually settling down with men. Because yeah, dating men is a lot easier on pretty much every level.

>>18308250
Yes, some do, and as cliche as this answer is, they're not the guys you're looking for. Or at least probably shouldn't be.

That's probably frustrating cause it may or may not land you a lot of guys but it could also be looked at as a form of early filtration of guys who wouldn't be matches for you anyway.

That may not be the only thing at play though, bear in mind. If you convince yourself that that's the sole reason guys don't ask you out you easily risk missing out other key factors that could potentially be at play.

If you make sure to be approachable, reasonably welcoming, and attractive enough some dude's gonna ask you out sooner or later.

>>18308276
I've been -hit on- by people I don't know or barely know. It's just in the university environment that they do not.

>>18308265
He can't get it up with other girls.
Even when he faps, he faps to pics of me.

Always joked I broke his cock.

>>18308250
I don't know if this is the case, but a lot of the time, men use that phrase as a nice way to put "too masculine". Often these types of women are very aggressive and career-driven, while the men around them want a woman who is more down-to-earth and family oriented.

>>18308280
>If you make sure to be approachable, reasonably welcoming, and attractive enough some dude's gonna ask you out sooner or later.
Darn, failed the first two and mostly the third.
I'm very shy and introverted, and I live in jeans and t shirts and converse, and jumpers with no makeup.

>>18308237
Ohh the men want to pay for everything, what an entitlement! A real detriment to society these guys are.

>>18308200
>lesbian relationships are more equal and more respectful
shit no. theres a bizarrely high domestic violence issue (particularly towards bi women in lesbian partnerships) so it really isnt it.

i have a few bi friends and eventually they ended up with guys after a few years. one has been afraid of dating since she was 20 due to an abusive girlfriend, it was mostly verbal but also got physical sometimes and shes still messed up over it.

>>18308289
>Ohh the men want to pay for everything, what an entitlement! A real detriment to society these guys are.

yeah lol I have never felt "wow so entitled" when a guy picks up the tab. I'm like "wow thanks". But then I don't have a chip on my shoulder.

>>18308287
I'm really not aggressive, although I've been described as walking round with my head in the clouds a lot. But I'm certainly driven, I guess, and not down to earth at all, and I certainly don't want to be a housewife.

>>18308288
>Darn, failed the first two and mostly the third.
Oh then yeah, it's definitely the fact that you're intelligent and musically gifted; it has nothing to do with you being an unapproachable, unwelcoming twat.

>>18308297
>Oh then yeah, it's definitely the fact that you're intelligent and musically gifted; it has nothing to do with you being an unapproachable, unwelcoming twat.
I'm not rude or anything, just shy. Besides, it's not my words it's my friend's, and i wanted to see if that ever were the case.

>>18308289
That actually reminds me, a question for guys - why DO you always offer to pay for things? Also, how do you feel about women who offer to treat you? Asking because I always feel bad accepting that sort of gesture, it's like I'm mooching or something.

>>18308288
There's your key then, I think. You might be shocked to find out that countless guys are very interested in those traits in women.

Work on that other stuff first and see how your results start to differ in time.

>>18308293
Yeah, but in this day and age it seems everyone has to get offended by everything, even if it requires serious mental gymnastics.

I had this girl in high school who was well ahead of the SJW curve. She got offended by some completely innocuous thing I said, calling it a "micro-aggression". I shit you not. Then she started yelling some weird chant and shoving me.

>>18308300
>>18308297
So then how do I overcome shyness and introversion and slight misanthropy? I guess putting more effort into clothing is pretty easy, but that could prove a challenge.

>>18308299
I was always taught to. It's just polite and shows you're a gentleman who can take you out and treat you. I also use it to subvertly plant into your mind that you're dependent on me. It's all a part of my system.

>>18308279
>That girl is only 19 and has not yet experienced the real world yet, she doesn't speak for all women.
Sure but you still see this shit in the mainstream. About how it's such a "deeper love", when it can't be all that deeper if they stab each other so much more often. This isn't really a topic you can hand wave off as the strange ideas of a teenager.

>>18308277
I'm not even necessarily saying you're unattractive, just that your friend is trying to give you a reason. You may have resting bitch face, maybe something about your behavior is a red flag.

>>18308302
What are you a helpless child? Figure it out.

>>18308303
The DENNIS system?

>>18308302
Look at people faces, smile and ask questions/show interest in the conversation when you're talked to.
There's no such thing as "no one likes me because I'm too good".

>>18308305
>What are you a helpless child? Figure it out.
This is the ADVICE board. I'm asking for advice.

>>18308299
>why DO you always offer to pay for things?
Gender roles. I mean if you do a bit of digging, there will be lots of cases where a woman would even offer to go dutch but was offended when the guy accepted. Then idiots and thirsty simps will back up their retarded beliefs.

>Also, how do you feel about women who offer to treat you?
I have no issue with it. I prefer to alternate with who pays for the date instead of splitting the check, less effort.

>>18308302
Put yourself out there. Learn to break the ice. There is no magic trick to this.

>>18308303
Dennis pls

>>18308312
>There's no such thing as "no one likes me because I'm too good".
I didn't say that- my friend did.

>>18308297

Wow harsh.

>>18308279

Steps to dating a male (as a socially anxious plain girl):
1) Throw up a profile on the internet. You can also go outside I guess and find people there but fuck that I don't want to leave the house.
2) (HARD PART ALERT) shift through the dozens of responses and find a guy who seems willing to commit, stable, and good looking. This can be hard because there are creepers on the internet but you knew this when you posted the profile.
3) Be a good person to him.

That's it. Assuming #2 was done right, then its literally easy street.
Step to dating a woman (as socially anxious plain girl).
1) Throw up profile on the internet. Going outside doesn't really help much unless you are in a gay club maybe.
2) Get handful of totally damaged lesbians and fake spammers
3) Find the one who seems the most normie???
4) Deal with all her drama and emotional baggage and emotional abuse until you want to die and somehow you are the bad guy.

Lesbians have way higher rates of divorce and rates of abuse. Men don't get the credit for this, but they are seriously nice to date. Dating really is one area women have it easier (we have it easier nowhere else). I don't envy straight men or sane lesbians.

>>18308304

What mainstream? I never ever heard this. Not in the LGBT community (where bi women are evil for settling with men) and not in the normie community (which still frames the hetero relationship as the ideal). Are you looking at lesbian feminist tumblrs or what?

>>18308315
welcome to Hell.

>>18308317
Just telling you that it is not the case.

I was like you and was told the same thing - the truth is that no one liked me because I was unapproachable and too masculine. Not in a cute, tomboy-ish way. In a controlling crazy cunt way.
Smile more, be nicer, be nurturing and caring. Literally half of the guys who interact with me ask me out now.

>>18308299
1) It just seems like the guy thing to do.

2) I want to establish a few things early on like decisiveness and at least some assertiveness. I want to look like I had a plan and it also shows I'm not broke.

3) I'm definitely speaking only for myself on this one, but even though the date is obviously for both people, I don't make offers to anyone and expect them to accommodate for me if they accept. Meaning if I ask someone out on a date and she says yes then I'm not expecting her to pay for it. The further along down the line you get and the more you both want to help each other with that stuff, great, but in the early stages if I'm offering then I'm paying.

>>18308302
Start with the little things first, like how you dress, smiling, engaging in conversations, stuff like that. That kind of stuff builds up over time. Then use your qualities to try to attract guys rather than thinking of it as something that's gonna turn them off.

>>18308299

I always am happy to accept this gesture, because they mean it in a nice way. Paying for food I think is kind of symbolic of the traditional marriage where a guy would feed the girl so she wasn't starving on the road.

I only insist on going Dutch if I am not interested in the guy and I don't want him to get the wrong ideas.

Men, I was recently told by some girls (I wouldn't call them friends) that men won't like me because I'm not 'feminine' enough in mentality or lifetime desires. Basically, the fact that I don't want to be a housewife, and that I like kind of 'male' things- video games, playing music, history, philosophy, hiking, computers, karate etc. as well as some neutral stuff like reading.
Admittedly I live in quite a conservative town (I'm on my gap year earning money, thankfully I'll be getting out soon). Please, allay my fears- is this true?

>>18308320
>Are you looking at lesbian feminist tumblrs or what?
Through my mothers side of the family I interact with numerous semi-former hippies who are still actively involved with local leftist politics. I mean let's not pretend people still don't put women (and by extension, lesbian relationships) on a pedestal, we had shit like "no woman ever dropped a nuke" when Hillary was running for president.

>>18308320
>Women don't have to fight in wars
>It's socially acceptable for women to be stay-at-home moms; they don't have to work
>They have an amazing gift to give and shape lives

>>18308299
I am the man, I have to provide. It's simple, really.
On the other hand if she REALLY wants to pay for something I let her, like some ice, coffe or the occasional movie tickets, but I always make sure that I pay more often. I don't want her to depend on me like the other poster said, but I want to make sure she knows I can provide for her and take care.

Now that I think about it that's actually really dumb, she knows exactly how much money I earn, we work at the same place, and knows I can do that. Probably an evolutionary thing.

>>18308329
None of those things are male things unless you're an idiot.

>>18308329
Not true at all. My gf is like you, though in the distant future post-career she wants to do the housewife thing. For now thoug she does all the same things you do and has the same kind of interests, she's pretty much one of the guys.

>>18308338
>None of those things are male things unless you're an idiot.
Their words, not mine. I just think they're neutral hobbies.

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>>18308329
I can't tell if this is a parody of >>18308250

>>18308320
>Deal with all her drama and emotional baggage and emotional abuse until you want to die and somehow you are the bad guy.

My friends former friend/roommate had a lesbo crush on her and did shit like try to steal her underwear and played the victim when her attempts at blackmail blew up on her. It was fascinating to watch really.

>>18308320
>Steps to dating a male (as a socially anxious plain girl):
>1) Throw up a profile on the internet. You can also go outside I guess and find people there but fuck that I don't want to leave the house.
>2) (HARD PART ALERT) shift through the dozens of responses and find a guy who seems willing to commit, stable, and good looking. This can be hard because there are creepers on the internet but you knew this when you posted the profile.
>3) Be a good person to him.

redpill alert for you girls
I know there are different girls but for the most part this goes like:

>Emotionally stable, good looking guy texts you
>You are """""""""bored"""""""" by his intro
>you delete him
>you cry on /adv/ about not being able to find a good guy
fucking girls on dating apps/sites want to be entertained like fucking shit
you are so fucking entitled it's unbelievable
>inb4 /r9k/

>>18308340
Yeah. But would you like it if someone you dated played with Barbie dolls?

>>18308320
>we have it easier nowhere else
I can't think of a single area in which I'd rather be a guy

do girls actually fall in love for the sake of it or is it just selecting the best possible partner for a stable future? because looking around everywhere I can only see the latter

>>18308345
Why would you date someone who bores you? What's the point of dating if you don't enjoy being around each other?

>>18308349
>do girls actually fall in love for the sake of it or is it just selecting the best possible partner for a stable future?
I fall in love because of intimate connection on an emotional, physical and intellectual level with someone. It's certainly not "for the sake of it"-it's so much more than that, but it's not a calculated thing either.

>>18308327
>they mean it in a nice way
That's actually a good way of looking at it. I'm just always so worried about being a burden on other people, so I'm really bad at accepting genuinely kind gestures.

>>18308353
Why would I want to date a girl that wants to be entertained 24/7?
just get over yourself and answer after he texts you "Hey Hello, what's up? any plans for the weekend etc etc etc" and be sincere about it? Tell him what you're up to and START A CONVERSATION
that's this "getting to know each other" everyone is always talking about

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At some point, my life turned into teen drama.

Long story short: had a huge crush on my best friend for the past 8 months. She just sees me as a friend. At that same point, another friend of mine was in the same situation, having a crush on me.

Three weeks ago, somehow, something changed with Friend #2 and now we’re dating. And, now that I’m getting over Friend #1, she is interested in me. It’s subtle, but she’s much more needy of my attention and contact than before, when I followed her around as a puppy.

I love Friend #2, I think we’re having something really special and I intend to keep it that way. When I am with her I am unable to think about anyone or anything else. But it still hurts to see how I could get what I want after giving up on it. And Friend #2 can’t help but feeling insecure, suspecting that #1 will try to get what she wants.

A classic.

Should I do something? Am I deluding myself for thinking I can still be friends with #1?

>>18308349
I want both.
I could fall in love with someone but wouldn't dare them if they weren't potentially good partner for me.
In the other hand, I would take care someone just because he's good on the paper.

>>18308330

lol except most people laugh at those hippies and Hillary lost even though she was running against a walking talking meme with zero political experience and record low approval ratings. Like lesbian marriage was just made legal a few years ago. Most people would still be a little disappointed if their daughters were a lesbian. Hippies are brain damaged from lsd.

>>18308331

Men don't have to fight wars either, we are living in Pax Americana and the draft is political suicide. Also don't forget that the reason why women were excluded from the front lines (and thereby the draft) is because women are weaker, slower, get knocked up, etc. I heard now that the front lines are open to women (thanks feminism) women are going to get signed up for selective service too.

The ability to be a SAHM is just an extension of men being nicer to date, and less judgmental about money. People who bash me for being a lazy housewife are pretty much always women and a few bitter guys on r9k. IME, most men don't care either way if they can afford it.

>>18308368
>lol except most people laugh at those hippies
Hi welcome to Portland

Please end my suffering.

>>18308348

In my thoughts.

Men are:
-Stronger
-Faster
-Higher pain tolerance (contrary to common myth)
-Deeper voice (sexy)
-Less susceptible to anxiety and depression
-Perceived as more competent.
-No periods (they get blue balls though)
-No pregnan

All these are big advantages imho. I wouldn't want to be a male either because a lot of my identity is in being feminine and a woman (plus I don't want to date other women for reasons stated elsewhere ITT), but I think in most ways men are the overpowered gender. There's a reason they run most of the world and not because of plain luck or mass conspiracy.

>>18308349

Both. Like, I want to fall in love, but I don't want to fall in love with a partner with no future.

>>18308365
But that's boring. I had a thousand other guys asking me the same exact fucking thing. You could have used this chance to make me smile, or asking me an interesting question or pretty much anything else and instead you went for "what's up?". You're a bore.

>Meet girl on Tinder and we really hit it off
>First date, chemistry is off the wall, can talk so easily with her
>We establish that we both want something casual that could evolve into something else
>Have sex, make her cum like five times, she keeps saying thank you
>She stays over, borrows my clothes for work in the morning

>Today informs me an hour before I work that I was a one night stand and she doesn't want to see me again

I guess I just don't really have a question, I just feel so fucking used.

>>18308320
Yeah but how many of those men are attractive, ambitious, with good personalties AND have good chemistry with you?

I have a crush on a singer and I want to meet him backstage. Should I do it?

Fellow guys,

How to I get rid of the toxic friends in my life? For the past few years I have suffered from depression. It put me in such a mental pit that I didn't care about anything, not even my own life. In a sense that made me feel invincible as I was just doing what I wanted how I wanted all the time because nothing mattered. However, during that time I began to surround myself with others of that same capacity and worse. They smoke, they party, they don't practice safe sex, they lie, cheat and steal. Since going to therapy and getting appropriate medicine, it was like the fog of complacency was lifted and now I feel horrified with who I had around me during my darkest days. I honestly feel thankful to be alive. Thing is, they are still around and message me constantly to hang out or for sex and when I try to tell them to leave me alone they don't get the hint and go off on rants about how I've changed and they wish I was like before. I don't know what to do.

>>18308375
>-Stronger
>-Faster
>-Higher pain tolerance (contrary to common myth)
>-Deeper voice (sexy)
>-Perceived as more competent.
I actually wouldn't like any of that. I guess maybe I really enjoy being feminine and the things that that entails. I certainly would dread all of the responsibility that comes with most of those things.
>-Less susceptible to anxiety and depression
It would be nice to be more stable emotionally, but guys do commit suicide way more.
>-No periods (they get blue balls though)
That would be nice but
>-No pregnan
I actually think pregnancy is an experience worth the pain and effort. At least you KNOW that the child is yours. Paternity uncertainty is a real bitch, so much so that it has been dramatic factor in male evolution.

>>18308392
Everyone usually ghosts me.
I'd say block them.
You've tried reasoning with them and that didn't work so ghost them.

after my would-be longterm gf left me to go to harvard, some other dark terrible shit happened in my life which gave me severe depression and made me shut myself in my apartment for a whole year

when i finally came out of the house i realized that i cannot feel emotions at all. only people i still feel for is my family and maybe my ex.

would any girl want to go out with a "dead inside" person like me? i'm smart and good looking but i have lost all interest in life

>>18308395
>It would be nice to be more stable emotionally, but guys do commit suicide way more.
Men commit suicide more often but women attempt it significantly more often. Therein is a big chunk of the difference, they purposefully do it half assed as a plea for help.

>>18308376
yeah then live with it
go date that random dude #2132 because he made you laugh instead of seeing if you have something in common with that boring dude
whatever then

>>18308401
Yeah I know, but I'd rather have some emotional instability than be so gravely depressed that I actually kill myself.

>>18308345

Its high competition on dating sites and yeah sometimes the reasons for trying to trim down the list of guys can seem a bit arbitrary and unfair. The online dating scene sucks for men and any woman who says "I can't find a good guy" probably isn't looking very hard (or just can't find her identical dream guy).

That said it can just be that she looks at your profile and sees other things she dislikes and is using that as the reason. Don't assume its because you are "too boring" necessarily.

>>18308382

lol I don't even know what "chemistry" means. I try to be friendly and attentive and caring toward guys and never had a problem with that. I think "chemistry" of that inner understanding of each other comes later on when you come to know each other. It was awkward as fuck with my fiance for the first few months we dated. But I wanted to stick with it and I'm glad I did.

I am also almost 30, met my fiance at 27 (my age plus social anxiety meant I needed to go online afaict). By that age, most men have made it and its pretty obvious when they haven't. Most people have good personalities once you get to know them, nobody is perfect though so keep an open mind. And then looks? IDk it depends on how picky you are. I thought most guys looked at least OK. Same as anywhere else. My fiance is very handsome face and good build but bacne.

For me, it was sorting through, I wanted a guy who was at least open toward religion (agnostic or better), looking to settle down (like not obviously cruising for sex), decent looks, able to support a family. And that was maybe...10-20% or so? Not the majority but not rare at all.

>>18308395
>It would be nice to be more stable emotionally, but guys do commit suicide way more.
Women attempt more, due to less violent methods used. (Trying to poison themselves vs. just using gun).

But yeah fair enough if you don't ever want to be strong or fast. I like being feminine too. (Pregnancy still scares me a bit but I do want kids). But on a logical level, if I was grading the genders in terms of their pros and cons, men have more pros and that's why they largely run the world.

>>18308385

Uh if he wants to meet you why not.

>>18308400

Uh if you lost interest in life, then why do you want a gf? Isn't a gf part of life? Isn't a gf entail having emotions such as (at the least) desire?

Try making regular friends first and see if you can do that, then try to make a gf. I am sure some girls will date you or whatever. But I wonder what you get out of it if you are too busy being "dead inside".

>>18308400
Sounds like you need counseling first and foremost. In any relationship, the three core things to make it work is trust, communication and forgiveness. All of these things take empathy which it sounds like you are running thin of. Focus on getting yourself back to normal before trying to find a girl who will no doubt have to work at fixing you.

>>18308402
Oh I'm engaged. Together 5 years, everything in common, totally my best friend and probably the funniest guy I've ever met.
Met online, he opened with a very fun joke. Never asked me what's up in 5 years.

>>18308421
I'm happy for you, really, good for you

the thousands of girls with their 1 or 2 week relationships that have no substance still exist

>>18308421

On the other hand, most friends and people in relationships ask each other "whats up" all the time so you know. Its fine to ask your gf "whats up".

>>18308413
I can absolutely understand your point of view, but I'd personally give women more pros. I think that running the world would be a con to me. That's as much stress and responsibility as it is power. I think what it comes down to is women tend to lean towards security and men tend to lean towards power.

>>18308425

Yeah speaking for myself I definitely lean towards security. Men tend to be more risk-takers than women (for better or for worse), I wonder if its "power" or something else. Like my bf wants to start up his own company even though he is earning plenty and "secure" at his current job. It seems crazy to me.

>>18308416
>But I wonder what you get out of it if you are too busy being "dead inside".
i'm was not being emo when i said that, i have genuine problems feeling anything. i want a gf because i think that's the only way i can go back to being normal again. i have lots of friends, i just don't see them everyday anymore. and they are all too busy with their lives so i don't want to be a burden on them with my problems

>>18308418
i've thought of going to counselling but didn't do it because i don't think it can help me. what happens there? a shrink just talks to me and that's it?

>>18308423
Small talk is fucking cancer.
We barely ever ask each other "how are you".
Most of the time we either talk about something we both are interested in or we joke around.

>>18308428
It's just a natural difference I suppose. It makes sense when you break it down and look at it from the perspective that women have the larger, scarcer gamete and are the ones who get pregnant, not to mention how dependent human children are. Men have the smaller, more abundant gamete and are more expendable, as harsh as that sounds. Women who preferred security and men who preferred risk taking, and the societies that encouraged this model, were the most successful and passed on their genes.

>>18308432
>want a gf because i think that's the only way i can go back to being normal again

By all means then try dating. But in my experience, most women are turned off my too much emotional problems too early on. Your friends are less likely to consider you a burden than a new gf (who hasn't fallen for you yet). But yeah if you want to try to date you can try to date. Try and keep it together.

You can try counselling too. And yeah, a shrink will talk to you and that's it. In my experience, as someone who suffered depression/anxiety it does nothing and depending on the shrink can make it worse. But it works for plenty of other people and it might work for you. They might also prescribe you drugs which (in my experience) make you sleep all day. You'll be so busy sleeping you have no time to feel depressed. That's cool too.

>>18308435

Small talk is fine, normal humans small talk all the time even with family/friends/lovers. I think you are just a really special snowflake.

>>18308447
We both dislike it. Feels pointless.
I'd rather sit around in silence than having a meaningless conversation about the weather or what I'm doing.

I'm not special, just really it's a draining social interaction that doesn't give you anything.

>>18308452

For us "normies", what you are doing is a springboard to a deeper conversation, and provides a deeper insight into your life.

But yeah you do you. Nobody cares. I just don't think you should be making generalizations about small talk in general based on your very specific hangups and feeling "drained" by discussing what you are doing.

>>18308432
They help you deal with the root causes of your issues through conversation. Really they just help you face your problems and figure out more constructive ways of building yourself back up again. It is open to the risk of you not having good chemistry with the counselor, but just request another until you find someone you feel comfortable with. Everyone can be helped in some way, anon. If you would not seek it from a medical professional, you're seeking it from a stranger under the umbrella of romance.

>>18308440

Eh, not sure I buy it. Because the "larger scarcer gamete" means nothing in a monogamous society (like the West which is the most successful culture of humanity yet) and being a single mom (as women would have to be if men keep on getting expended), is pretty much Hell.

Its a common enough theory and I guess it makes sense if its some kind of hyper polygamous Ottoman harem setup but idk. Most human societies don't evolve like that.

>>18308460
Yup. Just pointing out that it's really bland, boring and doesn't make you stand out.
If you open with "what's up?" You are the 2947484th guy.

You have just one chance to make a good first impression. If you open with a boring line my first impression will be "boring".

>>18308463

To side with this anon though, ( I am >>18308444), I got way way way more benefits from my bf than I did from a therapist. I got nothing from therapy (had 5 therapists at various points) and I think one of the largest blocks for me is that the therapist doesn't give a fuck. They are being paid to listen, paid to pretend to care, then ask some stupid asinine questions (and some therapists are just retarded like I had one try to psychoanalyze me and ask me all this leading stuff when she was flat out wrong).

I mean, yeah therapy works for some people. But its not for everyone.

My bf on the other hand, knows me better, he knows my feelings better, and he genuinely loves me. He's not paid to pretend to give a shit about my problems, he genuinely does care. I was deeply anxious/depressed for years and years before I met him and now I feel so much happier and secure in my life. I went cold turkey on 40mg citalophram (you are not supposed to do this) and yet I feel just as good as before.

But maybe I lucked out.

>>18308470

I'm not a male tho, so all I have to do is throw up a profile and also I don't care about you.

But yeah "whats up" is a bad opening line for a dating site. Not a bad question to ask someone who you already are friends with or dating though, unless that person is very specifically dating you and p much you alone.

>>18308465
No no this would apply wayyyy before that. For example within hunter gatherer setups before actual civilization and agriculture. Those groups who had women who went to hunt and men who stayed in the village would obviously die off. Those who kept the women safe in the village and men went to hunt would survive, even if half of the men or more died (and many did, as everyone has roughly twice as many female ancestors as thy do male). While the gamete difference might become less and less significant as society progressed (although it never disappears, ex. men go to war women stay home), it was an unavoidable factor in our very early history, and because of that, it left us with some significant gender differences that still exist today.

I absolutely agree with you about the monogamy though. Because while at the same time gender differences were being selected for, so was pair bonding and monogamy. All the way back as far as 4 million years ago starting with Australopithecus.

Do you think if a guy asks you via text he is a pussy?
Please be extremely honest and don't lie

>>18308473
While I do agree that those with an emotional investment in us can help in ways therapists cannot, there is a bit of an ethical line you are crossing in putting that expectation on them. Seeking out a gf/bf because you want help being normal again is quite the burden to put on someone who has to love you, put up with your mistakes, and shoulder a relationship with you at the same time. Not saying it's wrong but it is questionable to do. I'm just saying there are professionals that go to school and put in just as much effort to ultimately help people with issues. To write them off as "only in it for the money because they don't love me" is narrow minded.

>>18308490
yes
do it in person or phone call only

>>18308490

Ask what?

I had a guy ask me to be his gf via a "thinking of you" greeting card. It was very weird. But he was from Taiwan so I guess its normal there.

That said I don't think asking via text will change the answer. Like if shes attracted she will be happy.

>>18308490

Yes. Face to face is the way to go.

>>18308490
No, it is just more practical sometimes.
I don't want to be called ever, also.

Unless we have a chance to meet every day and he does it via text, then yeah he's a pussy.

>>18308490
No, it's 2017 for fucks sake. A huge proportion of social interaction is going to be by text, it's not unnatural to casually ask someone to hang out.

>>18308496

Maybe you are right, and to be fair, I didn't look for my bf with "a cure for anxiety/depression" in mind. He just happened to be that for me. So when that other anon says that he wants a gf I can't help but feel "well it might well work". Worked for me, and I was endlessly unhappy before I met him.

They are very much in it for the money too, btw. They aren't doing it for free, they do it for cash. Go find a therapist and say "I don't have insurance or money but I am feeling so down, will you please talk to me once a week?". They will say "lol fuck off". My bf talks to me every day for free.

And because I am very aware of that and couldn't maintain the illusion of "this person really gives a fuck", the whole thing felt gross and fake. 3/5 therapists just gave me lame canned platitudes, like I can get the same thing from the internet for free and you are adding zero insight? There's nothing you can say or ask me I haven't already thought of?. 1/5 did the psychoanalysis thing like she was Freud, And 1/5 did pretty much nothing not even the platitudes. When my bf asks me a question or tells me something, I know he means it and somehow that makes it 100% more effective than some therapist telling me something that tis their job to tell me.

But yeah it works for some people, he can try it. Maybe it will work for him. Maybe it will just leave him feeling annoyed and frustrated.

Guys,
I like a really misanthropic and shy girl, and I don't know how to ask her out as she despises normie stuff like going on dates to films etc.
What would you do? Any girls out there like that, how would you tolerate being approached?

>>18308530
Why the hell would you want to be with someone like that?

>>18308533
Because I'm also misanthropic and introverted and she likes all the same things as me and is really nice underneath the layers of cynicism?

>>18308538
Sounds shitty but whatever. If you're so similar and like the same things, think about what you'd like to do with her and then do it.

>>18308526

Honestly I think the woman who did nothing was better than the lame platitude crew. Like I had to carry the whole thing and I couldn't wait for the hour to be up, but at least she didn't condescend to me. Sometimes she had snacks. So that's cool. Didn't fix my brain problems though.

>>18308329
>video games
I only play Madden and GTA, but whatever, who cares.
>playing music
Good for you, nobody minds.
>history, philosophy
Most women who claim to be into these are rating SJWs who are only familiar with Marx and Critical Studies. Not to prejudge, though. Who are you favourite philosophers?
>hiking
Absolutely A1
>computers
I'm not sure if you mean coding or what, but that's cool.
>karate
Pretty cool.

I don't have a problem with any of that stuff in theory, nor would most men, I think, but I have a sneaking feeling you're a lefty. I wouldn't expect a woman to be a housewife for all her days, but a few years to raise kids would be necessary. Also, conservative towns are the best. Conservatism is the best and leaves people happier in the long run.

>>18308250

Yeah it's actually a thing, smart women with careers usually have a hard time dating "below" their position (not that they'd want to most of the time, but there are only so many smart and active bachelors) because men generally don't feel comfortable around women more socially successfull than they themselves are

why oh why do the
pee pee burn

>>18308570
>Who are you favourite philosophers?
Kierkegaard, Wittgenstein, Voltaire. I have a kind of fascination with the Greeks and eastern philosophies like Confucius and Buddhism.
> Also, conservative towns are the best. Conservatism is the best and leaves people happier in the long run.
Well, it certainly hasn't made me happy as I'm non religious (but pretty tolerant- I don't care about religion) and not particularly interested in the traditional family model (or marriage/children at all, really) nor am I all that bothered by gay or trans people.
Who exactly is it supposed to make happy?

>>18308570
Conservative towns suck.
I grew up in one and unless you fit in a certain stereotype, you're an outcast.
Even as someone generally traditionalist, growing up around people who feel like they know what's best for you and consider you ruined if you don't fit in a stereotype sucks.

>>18308579
Don't you find Voltaire a bit shallow? He's more like a pamphleteer than a philosopher.

Anyway, I can't tell you how to live your life. There are plenty of men out there who have no qualms with a lefty woman who doesn't want to bring children into the world, or make them a priority if she does.

>>18308579
>>18308584
Being religious and not living in a city are two factors which contribute greatly to happiness and longevity.

>>18308588
>Being religious and not living in a city are two factors which contribute greatly to happiness and longevity.
For certain kinds of people. If you're the kind of person to question or get bored easily, both of those things are awful and make you unhappy.

>>18308588
Having religious means having a community to support you.
Living in a small town means basically the same thing, plus less stress.
That's it.

Living in a small town made me incredibly unhappy to the point of being depressed. I found happiness moving in a bigger town, where I could choose a community and build a network of friends and loved ones, and be myself without having weird impositions.

>>18307672
Girls why don't you make sense

>>18308592
>to question
Which questions were so troubling for you to ask in your community?

>or get bored easily
Boredom is for boring people.

>>18308593
>I found happiness moving in a bigger town, where I could choose a community and build a network of friends and loved ones
I think that you might rue that decision in later life.

>>18308600
>Which questions were so troubling for you to ask in your community?
I don't believe in a god, and can't bring myself to do so. I simply question blind faith.
>Boredom is for boring people.
This seems to be the idiom of boring people. I simply don't find small town life intellectually stimulating.

>>18308600
>I think that you might rue that decision in later life.
I've been living here for 8 years and I'm very happy. Moved out of the town I grew up in at 17 and am happy that my parents moved out of there as well so I have no reason to go back.

A bunch of idiots who shoot down everyone who doesn't agree with them.

>>18308605
>>18308615
"A little philosophy inclineth man's mind to atheism, but depth in philosophy bringeth men's minds about to religion." - Francis Bacon

If you set your minds to it, you'll realise that God is real, and that you weren't exercising your fullest analytical capacity in matters of religion. I have more hope for girl than boy of the two of you, because she seems interested in studying and finding answers (Kierkegaard was a devout Christian, by the way), whereas he was apparently excruciatingly bored in his hometown yet never thought to fill that time by reading a book.

>I've been living here for 8 years and I'm very happy.
I don't wish unhappiness on you, but, if you're so happy, how was it so easy for those girls to get to you?

>>18308630
I am a girl as well.
I read philosophy, read the Bible, love theology. My boyfriend is a pastor, I routinely review his speeches and I'm very involved in the Christian community through volunteering. I don't believe in God tho.

What girls are "getting to me"?

How do guys figure out who is in charge without an existing power structure, ie. military ranks.

Example
>move into a new town with BF to study and work
>My best friend and her fiancee already lived there for years
>They bring us along to meet their friends one weekend
>Best friends fiancee, lets call him Mr. K does bbq
>Good food and drink, meeting new friendly people
>We play some boardgames
>Lots of fun
>we decide to head out to town
>people throw suggestions
"lets go to club X"
-"Yeah"
sounds good
>everyone quite much agrees to club X
>Then Mr. K just says
I'd rather go to Pub Y
>Everyone immediately wants to go to Pub Y instead
>But why?
>we play billiard in the Pub for a while, but then we decide to change places
>Everyone of the dozen people look at Mr. K to pick a place

Other things I noticed
>the guys discussed a wide variety of topics, but Mr. K's opinion seems to shift theirs
>He seems like a positive guy, a gentle giant

I thought it might be his size, but he isnt the tallest there at 6'3/6'4 to another guys 6'7
He isnt the oldest either at 28
Neither does he intimidate others to his will.

What makes "the boss"?

>>18308635
I think he has you confused with me >>18308329, the OP of the conversation.

Is there really no way to make autism attractive in the least? Dogs and Casts and small children are cute, right? Also pity sex is a thing so I will accept that too.

I'm just thinking of alternatives to muh red-pilled alpha male chad.

>>18308638
Might be pheromones. Does he get a lot of female attention?

how many months after dating do people sleep with each other? I've been seeing this chickfor a month, and have gotten to second base so far. How long does it usually take for a new couple to sleep with each other?

>>18308675
Now that you mention it, yeah, he does.
He was asked several times to afterparties three times by girls when we were out

>>18308676
That is as wide an answer as relationships in general, the meme is three dates for absolutely no reason except giving a random number.

If you're already dating and want to fuck why not just invite her to your room?

>>18308530
go to some museum or an insect zoo or some shit like that

>>18308682
cause I live with my parents. And no, it is not becaus I'm a lazy fuck. I quit a well paying job to start my own business with a loan from a friend. I can easily earn quite a decent amount of money by working but I don't want to be a wagecuck. Saving money on rent and everywhere because I want the business to work.

We can get a hotel room I guess. But, how do I even ask that without looking creepy? wtf. Next best thing is planning a trip just outside of the city. That'll work I guess

>>18308638
In my opinion, the only thing that makes this guy strong is absence of other "real men" in room.
For example I never agree with a leader if I don't like what he suggested, I am always ready to leave, because honestly I don't give a fuck about friendships in general. And I noticed that with that confidence people also started to look up to me, like asking what to do now or where we go.
Also, maybe he is just a bond in a group, like the only guy who introduced everyone and without him there is awkward silence.
Who fucking knows.

>>18308673
>alternatives to muh red-pilled alpha male chad
There are, you can just express yourself, but with confidence
Like Yung Lean, you know.

>>18308681
Most likely pheromones then. There aren't many things you can do to emulate that, but one thing that works is eating tons of raw celery. Tastes like ass but really kicks up your androstenone values.

>>18308638
>I thought it might be his size, but he isnt the tallest there at 6'3/6'4 to another guys 6'7
>He isnt the oldest either at 28
>Neither does he intimidate others to his will.
>What makes "the boss"?
me irl desu
not the tallest, not the strongest, not the oldest
important is that you are friends with everyone in the group and they can all relate to you
many groups have members that are only really good friends with 1 or 2 people

in a discussion many people only discuss really one sided
bringing more aspects into it really makes people listen to you, if you have good reasons they will start listening to you way more, works like fucking magic

if you suggest places to go or activities - make them look appealing, it's probably a talent, you really have to sell it
if your past suggestions were a success this increases the chance they will listen to you in the future by a shitton

>>18308702
>in a discussion many people only discuss really one sided
>bringing more aspects into it really makes people listen to you, if you have good reasons they will start listening to you way more, works like fucking magic
forgot to mention something important: this doesn't mean you have to spill some random arguments all the time. don't discuss shit you have no clue about
people will catch on your bullshit and dismiss your opinion in future discussions

>>18307740
>2~3 years
Unless you are like 250kg, it will be faster.
>>>/fit/ read sticky, count calories and lose 1kg per week. Or even more (the more fat you are, the faster it is on start).
Giving up is bad long term strategy. Good luck fatfemanon!

>>18307779
Just ask her on date. Dont lie but dont bring out all your problens at once either.

>>18307856
We have testosterone. We have confidence. We have balls. That is one of reasons why girls live longer than boys. We do crazy stuff without thinking. Also we dont have to fear we will get raped. Take care girl. If you are scared, get yourself trusty bf and use him as your bodyguard :-)

>>18307918
Heavily biased site, but you cant ignore all on it
https://yourbrainonporn.com/

>>18307930
Buy condoms.

>>18308097
You changed.

>>18308118
If you dont trust your partner, the relationship is over. Break up.

>>18308130
Like she is immature girl and i would reconsider if it is worth dating her.

>>18308159
He simply enjoys your company so much that he cums in seconds. You should be proud of your sexual skills or being so attractive that he cant last long.

If you dont find enough satisfaction, make him to earn the right to insert his dick into you by eating you out first. Or buy vibrator and improve your bed play. Get creative. Get dominant. Talk to him about it. Make him obey you.

>>18308199
Tell her to never mention her ex to you ever again and block all contact. Out of sight, out of mind. Be supportive and date the bitch!

>>18308250
If you want bf and for whatever reason you are invisible for guys, try asking boys on dates yourself. We have 21st century full of feminazi bullshit equality. Time to work on the relationship gains yourself girl!

>>18308366
Keep dating the person you are currently dating and cut / minimize contact with the other.

>>18308380
>casual
I guess you got what you wanted. Maybe next time keep your mouth shut up and see what will happen.
Also you can try your luck and ask her on date again.

>>18308638
It's who's best at being the leader and locking down the position. That can be the guy who is a calm center with a cool head. It can be the insecure overcompensating guy who's always aggressive on some level. That matters little and it will depend on the other guy, the age of the members etc what impresses them most and who ends on top. It can be sincerely impressing everyone and getting their respect, it can be being the oldest/biggest/most handsome one, it can be shouting louder than anyone else and not waiting for anyone else to suggest ideas.

Many men are simply not interested in holding this position because they find it more relaxing and low pressure to enjoy everything in the background. The "boss" will also be the first to get challenged by people in or outside of the group who don't deal well with a dominant figure.

It does not work wildly differently among women.

>>18308366
Classic preselection
Shes just doing it to prove to herself that she is more attractive than your current gf
But after she proved herself she will be right back to how she was before

>>18308400
Go see professional. Reach for help. You cant date when you are dead inside.

>>18308530
Stop overthinking problems and ask her out. Maybe ask her what she would like to do, but in most cases it doesnt matter.

>>18308598
Learn how to listen and dont try to give them solution for their problems. If they are angry or sad, hug them and tell them it will be ok. Buy her flowers in random intervals. Learn that cuddling doesnt have to end up in sex. Easy?

>>18308673
I believe that best way is to be honest. If you have problems with acting like human, practice makes perfect. Also you can learn right responces to certain answers.
http://www.improveyoursocialskills.com/conversation

>>18308676
If you want to have sex, ask her on coffe at your home or offer her to see her at her place. Buy condoms and dont expect anything. Get cuddly and kiss her. If she want to stop, STOP. Keep dating her and be as cuddly and touchy as you manage. Patience is the key. Or simply ask her.

Girls;

In a hypothetical situation where you're talking to a guy online without having met him in real life, would you lie to him to not hurt his feelings? I've spoken to five girls online now who have all reassured me that I am attractive and have a good personality. One even said that if we didn't live so far away from each other she would want to date me.

Could they all be lying to me to be nice?

>>18308786
If you asked them what they think of you or whether they find you attractive then there's a good chance they lied or at least prettied up their opinion. It's really uncomfortable to be put on the spot like that.

Similar for other situations, like if you are calling yourself ugly then you kind of push it on them to put it into perspective.
If they are volunteering this info on the other hand, it is extremely unlikely that multiple girls out of nowhere decided to throw you some false flattery.

You can also post your picture on /soc/ or wherever if you must know.

>>18308786
They could be lying to you, I would do the same just to be nice. Also this:
>One even said that if we didn't live so far away from each other she would want to date me.
Doesn't mean anything.

>>18308793
>>18308796
Huh. Well fuck.

>>18308807
Honestly, in our society of fake niceness I don't know where you can find a honest opinion about your looks and character. Your only saviour is your ability to look at yourself from 3rd point view.

>>18308810
>fake niceness
Fake niceness is a thing of all times, it's social lube. The extreme importance attached to youth and physical appearance is not.

And in this case it's made more complicated because telling someone their looks are lackluster will hurt their confidence and ability to forget about themselves and have fun, which will make them less attractive in turn.

>>18308786
I mean, it's possible.
I definitely met two guys online who I would have dated if they didn't live so far away.

>>18308813
>And in this case it's made more complicated because telling someone their looks are lackluster will hurt their confidence and ability to forget about themselves and have fun, which will make them less attractive in turn.
And if you don't tell the truth they might become delusional of their own value and get hurt even more after they go out in real world
Its just lesser of evil to say "I like you, but this and that is fucking disgusting".

>>18308817
This implies that looks are more objective than they are. Sure if you have the chiseled face of a god then you will get women regardless of your personality. And if you have no jawline and chin it'll be tough. But for most people who just fall in the category of normal looking but nothing to stand out, the decisive factor is their real life charisma, social skills and spontaneity.

If you tell someone x and y is fucking disgusting that'll haunt them, while someone else might not find it a big deal, or at least not a dealbreaker. If I post my nudes on /b/ now you bet some folks will point out things and with a wording that will never be forgotten by me and will shape how I look at myself. Yet I have zero issues finding people who find me hot shit and treat me as such.

I'm not arguing in favor of straight up lying, btw, but brutal honesty to me is pointless as well.

Girlfriend called me last night before she went out and got really drunk (she's on a school trip in New york) and it just seemed strange. Kind of felt like "hey if anything bad happens, just know I love you."

Should I be concerned? I have no idea why but I am, she wanted to talk about her trip but it was a real brief call and she kept acting like she had things to get back too.

>>18308907
Maybe she had things to get back to? She's on a trip.

Girls, what do you think of cockiness or arrogance in a man? I've always thought arrogance was a negative trait and this reflects in both my personality (from an early age I tried to supress any feelings of superiority I might have - of course it's impossible to completely get rid of it, though) and my preferences in girls (I love girls who are humble and nice and tend to be put off If she's too cocky). But many of my friends seem to be attracted to men who act like they feel slightly superior to everyone else. Even more interesting, it's not like these girls like them despite their arroance, but more like the cockiness itself is a positive factor.

I don't want it to sound like a bait question, but it's just a dissociation from what I believed for most of my life and what I see in fact. Wanted to get input from other perspective. I'm not particularly angry at it, and I don't want to change my personality, but I want to know if being too humble (not to the point of downplaying myself, but not giving much importance to my positive traits) is seen as being a doormat or boring to you.

>when I imagine a positive outcome of a text conversation
Shit end up ignored and I feel like dreams into dust
> when I imagine a negative outcome of a text conversation
Why even bother, at least you save your face
> when I try not to imagine
Just can't
Now how do you text a crush?

24M, asking girls and guys

How do you get over losing a girl to her ex? We dated for a while until she said "im not really looking for a relationship right now", which I now know is womanese for "not with you".

Turns out she never really got over her ex and shes now back to fucking him. Did I stand a chance at all in the end? Can't help but feel as though if she thought I was Brad Pitt she wouldn't have wasted my time.

>>18308973
I like confidence but not arrogance. Because the fact of the matter is, you're an average guy. You're not THAT great. Having no humility and awareness of that and unironically thinking you're god's gift is a huge red flag and unattractive. I see it more as delusion than anything else and I don't want to be with someone who seems unhinged from reality. Playing up your positive traits is great but acting as if your'e flawless is not, and that's the difference between confidence and "arrogance" to me.

>>18308974
lol I have the same exact problem. I don't know, just chillax I guess and try to imagine that the things you say via text won't affect your crush's way of thinking of you? I can't really give advice on this though because the only girl I ever dated was before phone or facebook texting or whatsapp was mainstream in my country, back in 2011. I feel like I'm out of place with new technology, texting a girl I like feels like quantum physics.

>>18308727
>Good luck fatfemanon!
LOOOOOOL

>>18308973
I like confidence, not arrogance. But I will pick a guy who's confident and has his cocky moments over a guy who's blatantly insecure (passive aggressive, taking digs at himself constantly and nudging others to reassure him). I feel it's like this for most women.

Another factor could be that you have higher standards for humility than most, and perceive things as arrogant that girls interpret differently. Being cocky in flirting is also a common tactic, where it's silently understood that you don't think you're so irresistible as your goofing around suggests.

Having said that, if someone's patronizing I'm noping out of this universe.

>>18308973
>Girls, what do you think of cockiness or arrogance in a man?
I love arrogance. I find it immensely attractive, especially if they are the kind of man who is cocky but playful about it and doesn't take himself too seriously.
That right mix of arrogance and self deprecation makes me wet. Actually it's probably the only characteristic that all the guys I dated had in common.

>>18309012
Appreciate your honesty.

I don't need advice anymore
just here to say that I fucked up
met the perfect girl for me out in the real world and somehow managed for make her less attracted to me every date

back to computer games and meaningless tinder dates

>>18309017
Probably there are a ton of women who dislike it.
Just my personal experience.

But I have a very strong and sometimes overbearing personality so I need someone like that to balance me a bit.

>>18309019
Hahaha classic

>>18309012
>>18309010
>>18308982
From three posts there's already a general pattern. Thanks for the input! Guess I need to change my definitions a bit.

>>18309047
Also wanted to add that if a girl does not mind or actively likes what you feel is arrogance, chances are she at least also in part likes the stuff he puts forward because he's not shy about showing off his personality/life.

This is also why girls hate when guys chase them too hard. If you like a guy you feel like he is a fun, interesting, engaging person - even if there's little reason to think that. If a guy forgets all about his spine, his own opinions and his boundaries in the process of impressing you, that shatters the illusion that he's a happily independent person who could get another girl in your stead, because he's a catch.

If you find this strange, realize most men do pretty much the same thing with pushing for sex but wanting a girl who holds sex off. If she holds it off a bit then after the initial stage he feels like he got laid by a quality woman who chooses him out of the masses to be her lover. A girl wants to feel the same way about a guy, and it helps for that to freely speak about the stuff you like, have going on, do or are good at.

I feel like guys not putting themselves on anyone's radar and being quiet and neutral and otherwise forgettable plays a much bigger role than they typically realize. Cute girls who have a lot to offer have options. They aren't going to spontaneously wonder about the guy not interacting with them while they are busy interacting with others.

>>18308638
>tfw I'm a loner
>that good feel when I don't have that problem

>>18308907
>letting your bitch get really drunk

>>18308974
I know that feel.
Sometimes I am about to give up, so I go full retard and sometimes this works, sometimes it doesn't. When you're about to give up, play the lottery.

A few days ago
>was anxious, almost getting needy with the girl that I'm texting, irritable
After going to the brothel
>calm, see everything through rosy tinted glasses, don't worry about the girl anymore
How does 1 hour of good sex and chat make such a big difference?

>>18309045
yeah it's hilarious
can't hold myself

Question to people with partner(s): how many condoms do you keep in your stock?

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Girls/guys

I'm 25 doing my second degree in college.
How weird would it be for me to be asking out girls in the 19-20 years range?

I've never had this issue before so I'm not too sure how socially acceptable it is.

To girls:

If a guy, who is your friend, tells you he likes you and you reject them, do you just stop talking to them?

>>18309185
A box. (usually with 24-30)
>>18308979
It was never meant to be from the start.

why do girls always say they just want to have fun, and then I always get the "Am I just a convenient thing for you" question?

>>18309198
Depends on the guy. If I don't consider you a good friend I just stop talking to them because it's bothersome to have them follow me around.

I once rejected a guy I've known for 6 months but he straight up found another girl a couple of weeks after. We ended up becoming close friends in the end.

>>18309197
Asking some? No big deal.

Specifically seeking out girls that age? Yeah that looks wrong.

>>18309207
First of all, it is sort of mandatory to throw out a line like this to avoid seeming clingy/desperate. I think most people mean "what happens, happens, but if I meet someone with relationship potential I want it to turn serious stat". They just want the leeway to tell someone they are not that into that it was always going to be a casual thing.

Secondly, if you want to do casual stuff KEEP IT CASUAL. If you let a girl sleep over, cuddle the morning after sex, send her cutesy texts etc you are acting like you have feelings for her even if you told her you are not looking for anything... aka avoid sending mixed messages. Expecting women to want casual flings is fine. Expecting women to act like your girlfriend without the commitment, no.

>>18309222
All the girls in my class are around that age. I don't really have that much choice regarding that.

>>18309235
That makes it a lot more normal. Does not fall under "specifically seeking them out".

How do I become friends with a girl platonically?

I am a male (if it wasn't obvious enough), and I just started talking to this girl (let's call her X) who works in the lab right next to mine. I barely see her and we've talked maybe 3 times so far, but each time we've had meaningful conversations. I won't lie and say that I'm not attracted to her, so I am in some ways but I have a gf that I've been with for ~4.5 years and we love each other very much. With that said, we both know that humans are capable of being attracted to multiple people and many different types of people, and in the end, even if we are attracted to someone other than each other we trust one another enough to not let it affect our relationship. Hell, we've even discussed some of the other people we have crushes on. So the attraction is not a big deal on my end.

However, I'm not so sure about X and her feelings towards me. I've always been oblivious to how women and people in general feel towards me so my issue is I don't want to start a friendship with X if she thinks I'm interested in her romantically. Or to better put it, I am afraid of leading her on. I haven't mentioned that I have a gf yet to her just because it hasn't come up. But maybe once I do, X will understand that I want to just be friends with her.

I know this seems like a small retarded little problem but I don't have many close friends and out of my close friends, I cannot talk about the scientific aspects of life and the universe in general because they just don't have that education or simply don't care to. With X, not only is she capable of understanding what I talk about but she is interesting as a person beyond that. I feel like I've found someone who I can explain myself to, and understand me without having to explain too much detail.

So far, what I've planned to do is just ask her to have lunch with me, something I've been doing alone for 2 years.

>>18307672
Girls,

Would any of you have an issue dating/banging your trainer or someone who works at your gym? Recently started working as a fitness instructor and I'm working on getting my personal trainer's qualification, there's a lot of cute girls in the gym, but I don't know if it'll come off as creepy?

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Anyone dating someone with depression? I feel like an asshole trying to make this about me or something, but I'm trying to stay happy and my usual self but I can feel my mood slipping with every text. I feel like both of us being in a bad mood won't help things. He's having a hard time right now and I want to be there for him, but I'm not sure how and I'm struggling.

>>18309338

Dating someone with depression sucks, you aren't his therapist. Therapists get paid $$$ to listen to brain problems and even then they often need counselling themselves fro having to deal with that bs all the time. You are no less of a good person if you tell him to fuck off and get his own brain sorted out before he drags you down too. (Use nicer words than those).

>>18309325

You come off as creepy in this post.

>>18309366
He doesn't have money for a therapist. Doesn't mean I'm planning on being his therapist, but I feel like telling him to deal with this on his own is like I'm abandoning him. I had my own period of depression that seems to be mostly over, and I feel like him telling me to deal with it myself wouldn't have helped.

>>18309369

Does he not have health insurance? Mental health care should be covered.

Its not your job to help him. Men with depression absolutely, positively suck. And its not their fault, but if you are being dragged down he is hurting you. You sound like you are being codependent. He'll probably never get better and probably make you worse. I say this as someone who formerly struggle with depression btw. Its not right for him to dump on you. Here have a bs article I found:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/modern-sex/201605/5-tips-dating-someone-who-struggles-depression

>>18309319

I think this is dangerous territory. I'm a firm believer that it's very difficult to be friends with somebody of the opposite sex because in many cases, one person tends to develop feelings. You've been with your girlfriend for over 4yrs, so things might be getting a bit familiar, and it only takes somebody to show interest in you and massage your ego for you to develop infatuation too.

If you've spoken about your crushes, it seems really weird that you wouldn't mention you had a girlfriend. I know where I work, it's common knowledge that I have a partner because we've been together a while and he's part of my life. Are you sure this isn't a subconscious attempt to follow up the lead?

I'm not saying people of the opposite sex can never be friends, but I'd think long and hard about being friends with her. Perhaps drop the line that you have a girlfriend first, before asking her to lunch.

Asked a girl for her number on Fb. All she sent was her number.

Did if fuck up?

More of a general question which doesn't deserve its own thread.

My boyfriend went out for a leaving do earlier today. He rarely goes out anyway, so I was happy for him to go, but I haven't heard anything from him for four hours.

I absolutely hate when somebody has their phone out when they're socialising, so I don't want to be a hypocrite. Am I being unreasonable by thinking I would have liked to hear from him at least once over the night?

It's not late, I'm not worried, just a little butthurt that he didn't think to give me a little message to let me know how he's doing.

>>18309425

You achieved what you set out to do. How's that a fuck up? Now get in touch with her via the number you go.

>>18309425

No? Do you know this girl?

>>18309430
>>18309429
Yes, i know her. She showed interest before, so I am a bit confused

>>18309428

He's been gone for a few hours and you're fretting over not getting messages? What the actual fuck, chill out. If you don't hear from him for a few days, then start to worry. I'm assuming he's a grown ass man who can manage a few hours without having to check in with his gf.

>>18309437

You got her number. That's interest.

>>18309438

Not fretting, as I made clear. He's just out with a group of work mates, I have nothing to worry about. Just feeling a bit grumpy that he didn't think to get in touch over a five hour period.

>>18309428
While the interest in that anon is noted, chill out
If he's read it and doesn't reply for a few days THEN your worry has merit

>>18309443

Why would he get in touch with you, if he's having fun with a few mates? Time to stop being so needy and give your man some space to breathe.

>>18309444

Yeah, we live together. If he didn't reply tonight and didn't come home, I'd probably have much bigger issues than him not texting me back.

>>18307672
>>18309398

I'm sorry for being confusing, I meant that my girlfriend and I talk about our crushes to each other. I think it's good to do so since keeping those feelings in for too long is unhealthy. And it also helps that we're both very understanding people. She always assures me that "your feelings are never 'wrong'. ", but the reasons for them could be.

As for the new girl, X, whom I want to get to know, I was going to have lunch with her and mention that I have a gf. I just feel weird about it sometimes because it feels like I'm going "I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND XDDD" you know?

As for developing feelings for X, I already have reasons why I wouldn't date her and I'm not the type to pursue my impulses. And I would never cheat on my gf. My gf is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.

>>18309425
Literally retarded.

>>18309428
Rent a prostitute to calm you down. She'll massage, chat with you and make you forget your problems.

Are my ambitions and my life situation attractive?

I joined the military at 19 after having gone to college for a semester for money, travel (Stationed in Europe for two years), and general life experience.

I have started on getting my degree in electrical engineering, and I intend on owning a reasonably large home back in California with a decent plot of land. I intend to develop my hobbies of working on and restoring cars, playing guitar and singing, and playing club soccer. I'm near fluent in German, and I also have started working out and will have a nicely built body by the time I'm out of the military.

I'm 6'2", white, pretty average face, I'm funny and very reliable as a friend.

Is this all enough to attract a good wife?

>Where do I meet girls/guys?
>Anywhere outside. Or online.

I want to ask a more specific version of this that this answer doesnt cover at all.

Where do girls go with the INTENT to find men? That isnt:

A-Online (Every online community has boiled down to nothing but bitches and assholes)

B-Bars / Clubs (I dont drink)

"Outside" is not an answer to this question. I just gave two examples

Is it a good type of friendship if the both of you go through bumps or any obstacle once in a while and both of you try your best to repair it?

Male and female, possibly we both like each other but we're staying as friends for now.

At what age will you ladies just give up and settle for the scraps? I don't feel like impressing you.

>>18309501
>is this all enough to attract a good wife

Honestly I'm sure you're a nice dude but this sentence tells me that you're probably really awkward in real life, never dated before, and that all those cool things you did weren't for yourself, but solely for a girl. Thats where you fucked up. Girls like a guy who does things for himself and on his own. They don't want a clingy guy who only does things to impress a girl. That screams desperation. Why do you want a wife so bad?

No one is looking to be someone's wife from the get go unless they are insane.

>>18309557
With that attitude you will get an unimpressive girl, if at all. Someone who tries even a little more than you will be more attractive. You're probably looking at the wrong women if you have this attitude about them. Meet a more intelligent and well rounded women.

>>18309567
I'm not awkward in real life with friends, but yeah I would say so with women. I've always felt like an inadequate partner so that's why I'm trying to compensate. I'm not dying for a wife, but I also don't want to find myself towards the end of my twenties and not be able to find someone that wants to stick around because I don't have my shit together.

>>18309567

Lots of older women ime, are looking to get married (i.e. "be a wife".) Like after I hit 25 or so, I stopped caring about relationships if I didn't see long term potential, and I know I'm not alone in that.

Yeah if you are a literal child just out of school or some shit you might not be looking towards marriage, but marriage is the end goal of dating for most people.

>>18309557

Define "scraps"? My coworkers did online dating and they were in their 50s but still made fun of the guys who messaged them if they were too homely etc and complained about no good responses.

>>18309510

Uh thats it, for girls en masse anyway. There are singles groups too. My church has a singles group, for example. Mostly though you just can find plenty of guys in daily life so there's not much reason to go out with the "INTENT' to find men.

>>18309545

I'd say so.

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Why does this girl keep saying she's busy or doesn't feel well anymore whenever I ask her if she wants to go out? Is this legit or is she taking me for a retard?
It's been like 3 times now that she replied this kind of things within 10 minutes

>>18309227
even if she made it very clear in the beginning that i should not expect a relationship becuase she isn't ready for one? they are always the ones laying down the "rules", so i find it weird when they act like i'm the one stringing them along. i'm okay with acting like a boyfriend without the actual commitment, why shouldn't they?

>>18309501

Your life situation sounds fine, but if you are still in school it will probably limit your dating pool to fellow students, afaik.

>>18309625
>>18309625
Ok. You sound fine as a person. But you have some bad insecurity issues. Girls can notice that from a mile away. Insecurity is not attractive at all. Maybe try therapy or something.

Why are you inadequite? When did you ever fail someone? Stop trying to be perfect. Nobody is perfect.if someone is with you it is because they deem you worth their time. If you keep saying or feeling that you're not good enough, then you are insulting that person and saying you know better than them, effectively.

You just try the best you can and that's all anyone can ask for.

>>18309646

Therapy sucks and does not help you with confidence.
Confidence is "fake it til you make it" tier.

>>18307672
23 Male.

Kinda a two part question. I'm lonely as fuck, and always have trouble mingling. In the past it was because of self confidence, and the fact that I was boring, and uninteresting. Also the fact that I never noticed subtle hints from girls.
The past two or three years I've gained some confidence, and fun interesting hobbies/traits. I notice when women are checking me out now. I'm always going out to concerts and other things. I see girls, but I have no idea how to engage and mingle with strangers. How do I get better at mingling with strangers (With or without friends for safety nets)? How do women feel about random strangers going up and starting a conversation?

Second question is relativity short, but related. One night on Tinder I matched with this girls, and we had a fairly nice conversation. Me being new to the app I didn't know how to go further, and the match mysteriously disappeared and came back. Her friend's in a band I enjoy, and I've seen her there. As mentioned before I'm terrible at mingling, and she's always with her friends. How should I approach her? Do you, like me, she's recognizes me and she doesn't know what to say?

>>18309646
I've never failed anyone for any reason other than my insecurity, that's the funny part. It's probably just a psychological problem stemming from an absent mother and having my only parent sleeping in bed all day from depression. Therapy would probably do me some good.

>>18309655
>How do I get better at mingling with strangers (With or without friends for safety nets)?
Practice makes perfect. You learn how to make small talk by making small talk.

>How do women feel about random strangers going up and starting a conversation?
Depends. It can be awkward or put her on the spot or it can be just nice way to pass the time. Like I will chat with homeless guys with zero social skills and its just fine. Most people want to be nice and sociable.

> How should I approach her?
Idk, This seems more like a question for men to ask other men, because if a guy approaches normally I take it for granted. But I would assume just going up, saying "Hi, I know you!" and if she seems to smile and return the greeting, then introduce yourself to her friends, but if she looks awkward like "hey" then move on.

>>18309687
I've thought about approaching her in that way, but it always seems kinda weird, because of the nature, and assumptions of Tinder.

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I'm a virgin and I just started seeing a girl who has a big butt. Am I capable of doing doggy style with a 5 inch penis? It's similar to pic related but a little tiny bit smaller

>>18309750
Yeah breh you just kinda move the butt out of the way. I've fucked a lot of thicc bitches and I'm kind of a dicklet.

>>18307672
Just started on Bumble yesterday and no hits so far, any tips at all? Got 3 pictures, 1 normal front face, 2 another face shot and 3 body shot. My about me section is just says "Studying to get into university".

>>18309325
You sound creepy anyway- also
>implying I go to the gym

>>18309325
As a dude, i can give you one tip: Only harmless flirting. Don't make it obvious. If she bites every time, go for it.

Girls

How are guys suppose to compete against other guys for you?

I'm going to be attending a university that had a low female population. How will I have any chance getting a girlfriend if she's going to get hit on by chads 25x a day? If she can pick whoever she wants like she's at a buffet. How am I suppose to get a girlfriend? I'm average looking.

What are you. Seriously. I dont know the opposite of an attack helicopter.

>>18309893

>opposite of an attack helicopter

Search and Rescue

>>18309893
>>18309901
i'd say the opposite is a dead chicken.
>cant fly for shit
>no freedom missiles
>no gatling freedom
>not made from metal
>cannot house a human being
The list never ends

>>18309889
Duel.


Seriously, just be fun and nice to be around. The thing that made my boyfriend stand out against anyone else was the fact that he made me laugh and he was refreshingly honest about everything early on in our relationship - no games, no bullshit, no anything.
He treated me respectfully, acted like best friends from first date.

Girls

Pepsi or Coke?

>>18309325
I go to the gym to work out not to get hit on

Go for the girls that are clearly not there to work out

How clingy is too clingy?

>>18309889
In that enviroment, dont try. How is having a gf any sort of 'requirement". Just concentrate on being you. The best, happiest you. Happiness and confidence are the greatest attractors.
If you look like you have the force of will to win to win anything, like ticklefight with a grizzltbear.
You're the best catch then.

>>18309929
>I go to the gym to work out not to get hit on
Why do you do sexy exercises, then?

Dead chickens. Why do you even try and pretend that you deserve equality. Attack helicopters are clearly better than dead chickens in every way and with moder medical science soon we wint even need you to reproduce. So why dont you just accept your lives as a slave gender a d get in the oven?

>>18309923

That just sounds incredibly hard when Chad will be everywhere.

>>18309932

It's not a requirement. But, I've literally been doing what you just advised for the past few years. I got my shit together. I've never had a girlfriend before, I just think it'd be nice to have one for once.

>>18309947
Become gay then

>>18309947
Chad is literally just in your head. Stop obsessing over it.
No gives a shit.

Would you think badly of a person with bloodshot eyes?

>>18309950

That doesn't make sense

>>18309960

I just can't rationalize it. If a really cool, smart dude, who's in super great shape walks over and talks to a girl. Why would she choose me, an average looking guy over him?

>>18309940
Did you hit your head again?

>>18309969

I don't know, some of them might not even like Chads. Just don't go full Elliot Rodger when things don't go your way.

>>18309969
>Why would she choose me, an average looking guy over him?
Love isn't rational. I got asked out by hot guys, smart guys, successful dudes but no one is as good as my boyfriend to me because I love him. As simple as that.

>>18309969
Have some confidence. You're smart, cool in your own right and give yourself too little credit

>>18309969
Because you have more in common with her? Because you're more her physical type? Because you have better conversations with her? You name it.

>>18309987
>>18309989
>>18309990

It just seems crazy to me Tbh. When I went down to check out the campus. All of the girls are QT 3.14s. I can't picture any of them being single. It's a STEM school. So like I said, few girls.

>>18308578
Step 1: remover from oven

>>18309935
>tfw sweaty and smelly and wearing my daggiest gym clothes
That ain't sexy mate

>>18307831

lul. you're funny I like you

>>18308183

protect meee plz!

>>18308169

> Ladies, what is it that you find attractive in men?

I think most women will tell you they like funny, smart, attractive, compassionate, hard working men. As for physical attractiveness, I personally find tall and slim and muscular very attractive. Secretly, I want to be dominated in bed. I'm a bit of a masochist so ideally want someone who can hurt me a little when we fuck but my bf is too gentle with me and it kinda sucks

>>18307868

You're very sweet anon. I think you hold back a lot of your thoughts and feelings, it would help to open up a bit and tell her what you're going through. It builds trust and helps her understand you better.

>>18307879
>>18307903

this. Why would you sleep with someone who cheats cuz she's bored? Also you know if you slept with her, it would be more than just a quick fuck since you know her and feelings are there. Don't be so stupid anon

>>18308053
>>18308058

are you guys gay lolol

>>18308159

wow that fucking sucks. Tell him to perform better, you need to bring up and tell him that you want sex to last longer. put him to fucking work!

>>18308275

lol reasons for women not to lose weight?

>>18308375

>Men are: Higher pain tolerance
LOL not at all. Men are little bitches when it comes to pain. I'm a dom, I would know.

>>18308392

Block them. Do a social purge. Find new people when ready

>>18308400

Yes, I find this kind of attractive. You're damaged goods and it appeals to me to try to help you (if you're worth it)

>>18308169
Intelligence, wit, humour, strength, strong morals and values, big on self improvement, passionate, taller than me (5'3/162 cm), muscular, alpha.

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>>18308276
I have been rated 7/10 by strangers, I think I could be a 8/10 soon as I'm working on toning up my body. I barely ever get asked out or have anyone show interest in me. I do get innocent compliments. Does that mean I am actually ugly? Or just unapproachable?
Only people who approach me are older rich men. I am 19 and dress like pic related.
I am not looking for anyone anyway, as I already have a partner. Though I am simply worried that secretly I am an uggo.

>>18309198

I think it would be disrespectful if the guy completely stopped talking to me. Almost as if he only became friends just for pussy. It's acceptable to distance yourself but it should be gradual you know what I mean?

>>18309325

I would say be professional and nice. Don't say or do anything that would be lecherous. If the girl is interested in you, she'll be paying more attention to you (aka suggesting to meet with you outside the gym, getting coffee, etc) and then you'll know it's okay.

>>18309501

Yes, this is good enough to attract a wife. As long as you aren't a rapist or weird fuck. Or have a 3 inch penis. Try dating some girls to see what you like/don't like