gf parents being cucks

>>18305985
Oh, dear! A 17 year old girl's parents are acting like parents! What is the world coming to?

Obviously they either have something against you or are punishing her for some other infraction. Find out what it is, offer the strongest case you can make against it, and accept their judgment.

Five weeks is not a very long time.

move on and find another girl, you're 18

>>18305985
>What do I do?
First, you stop throwing the word "cuck" around at everything you don't like regardless of context because doing so makes you look like a fucking child.

Second, you stop worrying about it because what you're describing is not a girlfriend, it's a fuckbuddy. If you can't enjoy a phone conversation with one another, you don't have a very good emotional relationship. Her parents sound excessively and unreasonably controlling to me, but you've got no choice but to deal with it (not least because your girl is still legally underage and you aren't).

>>18306000

In the UK she has a lot of rights as a 16 y/o.

Also, not a fuckbuddy. We're very good together in person, but we are both awkward over the phone.

>>18305996

Five weeks is a long time and especially when there is no reason given. If it was something important, I would be fine with it but they are giving no reasons and just seem to hate me.

>>18305997

I have just gone 18. We're in the same year (of college).

>>18306006
>they are giving no reasons and just seem to hate me
Yeah I bet they just arbitrarily feel strong dislike towards you with no possible explanation.

>>18306015

I'm always nice with them, very charming and friendly towards them and I get along well with their younger child (age 8) and they have seen me treat my girlfriend, also their daughter, with great respect.

I just can't win with them, though. It's the step-dad who hates me, though. Her mum is very nice when he isn't around.

>>18305985
You won't like hearing this but get over it. You're only 18, still a kid.

>>18306019

Still a kid? I have a full time job and am about to deposit for a privately rented home.

>>18306020
I think calling you a "kid" was a poor choice of words, but I get the point that anon was trying to make - you are young and you have a lot of years ahead of you. Either this five-week experience will be a meaningless blip on the radar of your relationship a year or two from now, or you'll have moved on to another person by then.

>>18306023

The problem is that neither of us are wanting to have to wait this 5 week period through.

We find it pointless and an attempt to just ruin our relationship.

>>18306024
Well, given you're daft enough to use 'cuck' as in OP hose parents likely have the right read of you, or at least where you're at right now.

Take this opportunity to learn some self control fuckboi.

>>18306029

I've spent £325 in costs visiting her over the past month. I think they should know, by now, that I am completely serious about her and will do anything for her.

They're being completely unreasonable bastards.

>>18306038
Sounds like an issue you should speak to them about.

>>18306024
Let's say, hypothetically, that you're right and your girlfriend's stepfather is just malicious towards you without any provocation.

If five weeks apart is enough to "ruin your relationship," it isn't a very good one. I say this as someone who spent two years going to university two states away from my then-girlfriend, now-wife. We texted, we talked on the phone nearly every night, we played online games together... this was of course no substitute for being able to spend time with one another in person, but it got us by.

What her stepfather may be attempting to prove, to both you and your girlfriend, is that your relationship is a lot more transient than you think it is - that spending just a few weeks separated from one another is enough to make it crumble. So ask yourself: is he right? If he is, and you break up with one another over this, then nothing of value was lost. If he's not, then honestly, the best possible course of action is for the two of you to see this through on his terms, regardless of how much you don't want to, so that you can prove him wrong.

>>18306048

I have done. They say seeing me is distracting her from college work but the thing they don't realise is that thinking about seeing me and not being allowed to do so is worse for her mind, she says this herself.

She is thinking more about me when she can't see me than when she can see me.

I've also pulled the "but seeing me at the end of the week should boost her performances by making her happier" card but apparently that won't work.

>>18306038
Given you're so serious, waiting 5 weeks should be trivial.
You could think of it as a shit test. And you want to fail it. Eh, I'm out.

>>18306050

Why should we have to prove him wrong though? We are happy together and they know this. I am willing to travel and pay without assistance to see her at her will, whenever she wants, and I do everything she wants to do but no I guess that isn't good enough, is it?

It's bloody disgusting how I can be treated like this whilst spending so much money on the girl I love and want to be with.

They know we agreed to once a week and they are doing this purposely to try and drive us apart.

>>18306055

I shouldn't have to be tested. They have no right to test me, she is the judge of me not them. She says she wants to be with me, so be it. She wants to be with me.

At the end of the day, I am not wanting to be with her step-dad, I am wanting to be with her.

>>18306052
Sounds like her grades were dropping when she was with you and they're trying to fix that. Throwing a hissy fit, as seen here: >>18306058

at anonymous users on the internet does nothing for you. The best you can do is get better at conversing over the phone. Or you can go to her house and have them dial 999 on your ass. Choose.

>>18306064

Her grades have improved because I'm helping her with her studying. She's gone from a B to an A in Biology, for example, and from a C to a B in English Language.

>>18306052
Have her grades suffered in any notable way since you started dating? If they have, then her parents have a legitimate concern and you need to help your girlfriend to stay on track. If they haven't, then her parents are being unreasonable, but you're still going to have to put up with it.

I'm assuming from your posts that you intend to be with this girl for the "long haul," and if that means marriage, then the people who you see as meddling interlopers now will one day be your mother- and father-in-law. You need to start working towards building a functional relationship with them as well as one with their daughter, and openly defying their demands, unreasonable or otherwise, is not a good way to do that.

I really think the best solution for you here is to just deal with it, and at the end of the five weeks sit down with her parents and talk about what their reasoning was. If this happens, do your best not to be argumentative and to keep your cool; if their impression of you is that you're just a kid who's having a bad influence on their daughter, you need to change that impression.

>>18306068
Jesus FUCK her step-dad REALLY fucking hates you then. The only thing I could possibly think of is he's molesting her and you're muscling in on his territory.

>>18306073
He'll have an excuse to literally everything and won't accept any self blame dude. Give up.

>>18306070

see >>18306068

>>18306073

She has given me some information as to why she's scared of him, actually, but nothing molesty-wise.

>>18306077
Then we've reached a dead end in the investigation. Gotta get better at phone talking. Then do what this guy says: >>18306070

>>18306075

Because I aren't to blame whatsoever. I am always nice, respectful and generally a 'good guy' to the family, including the step-dad.

I've been assisting her with her college work because that's the kind of thing that I am good with and she's doing courses that are within my skill range.

I have no interest in sex, they're the ones who brought that up by making her get the implant.

>>18306056
>>18306058
You know, you're bringing up the amount of money that you spend on your girlfriend in defense of yourself weirdly frequently. That really shouldn't have a place in this discussion at all. Earning and spending your own money is not the only measure of being a mature adult.

And yeah, her parents absolutely do have a right to "test" you. You keep arguing about how "grown-up" you are, but in the process you really just sound like a spoiled kid. See >>18306070 - this isn't some bullshit movie romance where boy and the girl are the only people in the whole world who matter. These people are going to permanently be a part of your life if you're serious about your girlfriend. You need to get along with her stepfather and her mother. Getting onto 4chan and dismissing them as "cucks" and "bastards" is not helping you to do that.

>>18306083

Well surely spending that amount of money, in such a short space of time, is proof enough that I care for her. I wouldn't spend that money for someone that wasn't important to me.

Her parents do have a right to test me, that is right. But I had to wait 2 months of not seeing her before her parents met me because her parents wouldn't let me see her.

It's not like I haven't done this before. I've already waited 2 months; their constant "tests" are nothing but bullshit designed to end us.

OP, from reading this thread, I get the impression that her parents believe you to be an impulsive twit who thinks he's a lot more mature than he really is, and who can't take "No" for an answer without having a fit.

You are doing everything imaginable to prove them right.

>>18306093
>Well surely spending that amount of money, in such a short space of time, is proof enough that I care for her. I wouldn't spend that money for someone that wasn't important to me.
No, it's not proof of anything. £££ does not = love. If you've ever tried to use that argument with her parents, it's no wonder they think so little of you.

>Her parents do have a right to test me, that is right. But I had to wait 2 months of not seeing her before her parents met me because her parents wouldn't let me see her.
In the future, when you're looking for advice on a situation, you should really tell the full story up front. Throughout this entire thread, you've been dropping occasional additional details only when they've been convenient for your current argument. I'm not saying that you are doing this, but that makes it look like you're just twisting the facts to suit you/lying. People keep giving you advice based on the situation as you've described it up to that point, but it's advice that you don't want to hear, and then suddenly your story changes.

>>18306105

I agree I should have mentioned the 2 months. I apologise for not doing so. Basically, yeah. This happened in February, too, but they demanded 2 months rather than 5 weeks.

Also, I haven't pointed out the financial aspect is a replacement for trust of love to them and I would never do so.

I was just stating that why would I spend £325 on visitation alone (it costs more for the dates, etc, on top) and not care about her?

>>18306118
You don't need to prove to anyone that you care about your girlfriend; I don't think that's what this is about. And even if you did, bragging about how much you've spent on her is not proof of that, so I'm not sure what the point of continually bringing it up is.

What you do need to prove, at least to her parents, is that you are emotionally mature, that you are able to exercise patience, and that you can handle conflict while remaining level-headed. Your posts in this thread where you rail against them are not doing a good job of demonstrating those traits right now.

Here's the story so far:
- Your girlfriend's parents have demanded that she not see you for five weeks without explanation
- Really it's just her stepdad and not her mother
- Also your girlfriend is afraid of her stepdad for some unspecified reason which is not related to sexual abuse
- And actually the explanation is that they're concerned about her ability to keep up with her coursework while also seeing you regularly
- In addition, this is not the first time that they've put the two of you through something like this

Do you see how the narrative has continually changed? This situation is a lot less surprising to you than you initially made it seem, and I think you already know what the best solution is (simply putting up with it) but you're hoping someone will tell you just run away with your girlfriend or something because that's what you want to hear.

(Part 1/2)

>>18306118
>>18306155
(Part 2/2)

If you want to be a man, act like a man. When this is all done - and only then - invite her parents out to dinner or something. Tell them that you're serious about their daughter, that she means a lot to you, and that you want to build a good relationship with them too, because it's in every party's best interests for you to have one. Tell them that you understand their concern about her relationship interfering with her schooling, but that you're helping her to study and making sure that her grades don't suffer because of time spent together.

See where it goes from there. You'll either:
- Begin to repair their poor impression of you, and these "tests" and other problems will go away (ideal)
- Find out about another reason for their dislike of you (which you can then work to correct)
- Or find out that they're simply irrational twats who want to wreck your relationship for shits and giggles (this might be want you want to think, but it's actually pretty unlikely).

>>18306160

This would be sound advice had I not already done something similar to try and gain their respect. The mum is probably the friendliest with me as she always invites me round when the step-dad is out, though, so maybe I just need to work on him which itself will be problematic as he always shuts himself upstairs in his bedroom.

>>18306164
The best way to work on improving your relationship with him is actually to talk to both him and the mother at the same time. That way, if they get two completely different impressions of you, they'll be forced to discuss and reconcile these impressions with one another later.

>>18306175

I will try this whenever they decide they want me to see their daughter again.

How long until your girlfriend turns eighteen? Do you earn enough that having her move in with you after her birthday is a realistic possibility? Would you be able to support both of you while she finishes school?

>>18306179

Yes. I can support her and late August.

>>18306179
This, wait until she's 18 and then she's never obligated to speak with them again.

>>18306185
Just suck it up until then. Three and a half months isn't that much longer to comply with her parents' bizarre visitation restrictions. Once she turns eighteen, she can legally move out and will no longer be beholden to the whims of her stepfather. I strongly recommend attempting to maintain a friendly relationship with at least your girlfriend's mother, if not her stepfather as well, after your girlfriend moves in with you. Otherwise, you'll just be "That jackass who stole our daughter," and trust me, you don't want that.

>>18306179
>>18306201
(Although if her parents are financially supporting her schooling and you aren't able to do so, things could get complicated)

>>18306206

I can afford it, don't worry.

>>18306201

I mean she can legally move out now she is above 16.

>>18306230
>I mean she can legally move out now she is above 16.
Technically, social services could get involved if she were between the ages of 16 and 17, but since she's older than 17, you should be right - good point. In that case, I'd start talking with her via phone/e-mail to make financial and practical plans.

Judging by this thread I wouldn't let you near my daughter either OP