Anyone here legit ever try to kill themselves? Would you say

Statistics suggest that suicidal people don't really plan their suicide (unless they're doing it for attention). You simply have to find an opportunity while being in a really down mood, such as finding a high ledge or a gun.

>>18305341

This Anon is wrong in a few ways.

http://www.businessinsider.com/many-suicides-are-based-on-an-impulsive-decision-2014-8

Check this out

>>18305381

Also Anon - most successful suicides are planned.

when i was 13, i wrote suicide notes and then ate a whole bunch of toxic berries from our garden and drank stuff i found in the harage that had a "caution lethal" warning on it.
all that happened was that i got mad belly cramps, had to throw up and shat out my bowels for the night. i soon realized that this hasn't worked so i quickly made the notes dissapear.

when i was 15, i had to go to er and got some very strong pain killers (opiates). i also gathered all the dangerously looking meds we had at home, got extremely drunk and took all the pills. same shit happened like the first time.
i kind of accepted that i would have to take more drastical actions if i actually want this to work but never had the chance (too much of a pussy to jump off a bridge or infront of a train).
i got tempted again at age 22, when i got 3 boxes of sleeping pills, but by then i had a kid so it was a no-brainer to not abuse the situation.

>>18305503
forgot to add, it was kind of planned. as in, it always was in the back of my head and i was just waiting for a really good opportunity. the ones that came didn't work, so i'm still here.

Yeah when I was like 14 I was pretty depressed, eating disorder and shit. I used to take like 5 30mg codeines before bed every night, just to get a bit high and chill out.
One time I was standing in the bathroom taking them, and I must have been feeling like shit, but I just kept on going, and probably ate about 30 of them. I knew that was really dangerous but I didn't care. I was in a really bad place but didn't really plan it.
I just woke up in the night spewing heaps, had to take some time off school, my mom thought I had a bad stomach bug I think. I remember throwing up the stuffed capsicum we had for dinner, and that's one food I just could never eat again.
And then I just never cared much, and gradually came right in terms of the depression and now I just have it as a weird surreal memory.

I tried slitting my wrists once. Why in still alive is I'm a coward. I began cutting (vertically) but miss the vein. Started bleeding a bit, pain was too much and immediately panicked and stopped.
I planned it, somewhat. Always looking for a way out until I felt there wasn't. Fortunately or unfortunately my cowardness didn't let me go through with it

Planned, I had to prepared myself mentally.

>>18305503
>>18305531
Versions of this, once when I was 14 and twice when I was 17.

>14
I was really fucking depressed. Home life was shit, both parents were abusive and no one ever did anything about it even though the school called CPS. I was having a really fucking bad night one night and had a bottle of Prozac and I just took them all. My friend was over and she asked why I looked flushed and I told her. She called the fucking cops, they came, they corralled me into the goddamn police car and took me to the hospital, the regular hospital then lied to me and used misleading language to commit me to the mental ward across town. I was there for two weeks. Later found out they had lied about everything, I had never had to go. Came home to find out my mom was trying to put together plans to ship me off to a fucking boarding school so she and my stepdad wouldn't have to deal with me anymore. I was so fucking pissed. I took the paperwork I found out in the woods and burned it. Turns out the mental ward people had called CPS based on some of the things I told them about in the unit, so we ended up dealing with their bullshit non-inquiry for another year. Nothing ever happened or changed.

>17
I was experimenting a lot with drugs but I had lived a really sheltered life up til then and had no idea what I was doing. The first time I took a whole box of CCCs (if you don't know look them up) and passed out in the hallway at school. Ambulance came, carried me out on a stretcher, school wanted to expel me, it was a whole big thing. I was 5 months from graduation and my mom raised a giant stink and they let it slide. The suicidal part was a total accident but I think part of me just wanted to not be there.

Second time was about a month after that. Took a shitload of Hawaiian Baby Woodrose seeds. All I remember is looking in the mirror and seeing my pupils so dilated my eyes were almost completely black. Then it was just vomiting and shitting all night. But I obviously lived.

>>18305552
To explain, for those who don't know: CCCs can kill you. The combination of drugs in them make your heart rate and BP go through the roof. When I was admitted to the hospital my heart rate was 158 beats per minute. I was about 2 hours past peak at that point. Heart rate likely over 200 for around an hour before passing out. All I remember is seeing my hand against the lockers in a perfect circle and everything outside the circle was black. I must have been not really able to stand up. Heard later my friend had to slap me hard in the face just to get me conscious enough that she could drag me to the nurse's station.

That's the only time out of the three that I actually damn near died. Pretty much got really lucky that my friend was there to call someone.

I have pretty severe depression and anxiety since I was 14, when I was 25 I had an extremely hard time and thought about suicide daily and it was always in the back of my mind. I hoarded some sleeping pills and strong pain killers and took them all. Right before I passed out I had horrible chest pains and felt my heart going crazy and thought I had succeeded. Woke up the next day at like 3pm and felt horrible and drugged. That day I was out of it and drooled and for about 3 days I was a zombie. I'm 28 now and recently found out I've damaged my liver severely despite never drinking.
So I failed. But I fucked my liver. I didn't fuck my heart up though.
Consensus seems to be pills don't really work.

I thought about it but killing yourself requires a lot of careful planning and precision. One wrong step could turn you into a cripple or a vegetable. You're better off asking /b/.

>>18305552
Can you tell me about what happened at the institution/hospital?

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I slit my wrist around thanksgiving 2015 and again right before Christmas then that February I ate 12 percacets and a morphine and drank a 5th of Jack. The thing is even on on the meds, I regret not succeeding. Does anyone else still wish they didn't make it? I still have no idea how I'm still hear especially after the pulls and jack.

My attempt was planned. I had been dealing with depression ever since 6th grade. My parents refused to put me in therapy because they don't believe in mental illnesses. By the time I was 18 I began hearing voices. It got to the point where I tried to slit my wrists, but my some social worker called the police. After that I spent a few weeks in a mental ward.

>>18306442
>I ate 12 percacets and a morphine
>ate a morphine
>ate
>a morphine

u wot m8

>>18306508
A 60 mg morphine pill small purple like. Is that better. Oh and I meant pills not pulls.

>>18306398
Was carted over in a transport van in the middle of the night. I think it was around 4am. They took me to the nonviolent ward, since I hadn't cut myself or tried with a gun, so it was full of mostly geriatric old people. I was the youngest person there by 40 years, easy.

They took my shoelaces, watch, glasses, and belt. Then they stuck me in a room and told me to go to sleep.

The food was garbage bland hospital crap but they got super weird and threatened medical intervention if you didn't eat 50% of it so I at least ate 3x a day.

It was never quiet. Someone was always screaming or crying or being tackled by the nurses and sedated.

Bed checks were every 15 or 30 minutes, I can't remember now. Come in and shine a flashlight in your eyes, call out, make sure you were alive. I had nightmares about that for years, I don't like to think about it. Sleep deprivation does fucked up things to a person.

Showers were group, and you had to wear flip-flops. I was 14 and not about to get in a shower with a bunch of nasty, crazy old people, so I bathed in the sink for the entire two weeks, body part by body part. I had long hair at the time so that made it a real bitch, it took like 2 hours each time.

Group therapy was every two days, and it was Mandatory. That's where I mentioned the stuff that later got the senpai in trouble with CPS again.

The main thing I really remember is the poem I shared during one of the sessions. I had it memorized, so it wasn't hard to jot it down. I prettied it up real nice with markers and shit because it was easier than talking to people, and the therapy director was so touched she insisted on hanging it on the wall and even gave me a hug, which was really uncomfortable.

>>18306398
>>18307042
The poem:

I live for those who love me,
Whose hearts are kind and true,
For the heaven that smiles above me,
And awaits my spirit, too;
For all the ties that bind me,
For all the tasks assigned me,
For the bright hopes left behind me,
And the good that I can do.

I live to learn their story
Who’ve suffered for my sake,
To emulate their glory
And follow in their wake;
Bards, patriots, martyrs, sages,
The noble of all ages,
Whose deeds crown history’s pages
And Time’s great volume make.

I live to hold communion
With all that is divine,
To feel there is a union
Betwixt Nature’s heart and mine;
To profit by affliction,
Reap truths from fields of fiction,
And, wiser from conviction,
Fulfill each grand design.

I live to hail that season
By gifted minds foretold
When men shall rule by reason,
And not alone by gold;
When man to man united,
And every wrong thing righted,
The whole world shall be lighted
As Eden was of old.

I live for those who love me,
Whose hearts are kind and true,
For the heaven that smiles above me,
And awaits my spirit too;
For the cause that lacks assistance,
For the wrong that needs resistance,
For the future in the distance,
And the good that I can do.
I still believe in that poem. I guess I didn't ever really want to die. I was just hurting and wanted that to stop, and sometimes it got to be too much.

Was depressed took a bunch of bipolar pills after I walked out of a homeless shelter passed out 3 times managed to call 911 outfoundI had a blood clot in my lungs. After they got me a taxi to the hospital in Arizona

>>18306470
This sounds extremely similar to me, got extremely depressed parents didn't care started hearing voices, tried to hang myself.

>>18307057
That's a beautiful poem op god dam.

When I was 20 I bought a gun, loaded it, and put it to my head. I kind of knew I wasn't going to pull the trigger I guess, but was sort of hoping something would snap inside of me and I would. I ended up telling a therapist and he snitched on me, and I ended up in a psych ward. I think I kind of wanted all of that to happen, though.

Things were very bad for a long time.

I drank heavy alcohol and prescripted sleep meds, supposed to kill you, had an amazing badass dream and slept for 30 hours, painful waking up

I have brain damage and am on disability for 2 years I've been planning suicide I'm growing poisonous plants and buying pills to of on I guess that's euthanasia not suicide

>>18307057
Beautiful

>>18306442
So does any one else still wish they had succeeded? Because everyday I wish I had until I can fall asleep.

>>18305503
Why did you have a kid if you are suicidal? You're just bringing more pain into the world. Only happy, well-adjusted people should have children.

>>18305333

Bought a bunch of barbiturates and almost used them, but decided to try a bunch of drugs first (bucket list) and ended up not suicidal anymore. They're still in my closet in case things ever get impossibly bad again though. Also tried to hang myself with a belt once but it was a halfassed attempt and it just broke the belt. If I get to that point again I will use something that doesn't risk brain damage so easily.

But seriously, fuck society. If you're not some super high energy extravert with a bunch of friends and a very high IQ and good executive/time-management skills, the world just treats you like garbage. I'm never having children. If the elites want to whine about birth rates falling while they do nothing to create any kind of economic stability, fuck em, I hope their children get raped by the niggers and sandniggers they import to pave over the poor giving up.

>>18305333
I planned it for a few months to get all the details sorted. The worst part of failed suicide is that about 80-90% live with permanent injuries afterwards, such as fucked up organs from poisoning or brain damage from falls or lack of oxygen. I wanted to avoid that and succeed.

Totally unplanned. I was 15 or 14 and wanted to "get out" of everything and anything. Took 28 panadol. Didn't kill me but I vomited and couldn't eat for days, and a year or so later when I told my psychologist they made sure I had my liver tested for damage. Which I didn't have at the time, but my excessive alchohol consumption since then might have affected that.

>>18305333
You legit try it only once so obviously there is no one here