Reporting my manager

Does she actually know that it affects you in this way? I've had a similar scenario as a victim of sexual abuse growing up and having to clarify to a boss in a rather awkward conversation to stop joking about that type of stuff.

However, at least in my case, having an actual honest talk about it and explaining why it's not right will work. She's a human being too, she'll empathise with you if she's worth anything at all.

If she doesn't then get her ass into the fire

>>18305255
>female manager
Wonder why you felt this detail was worth including. Sounds like a bait thread.

Otherwise
>>18305257
What this anon said.

>>18305257
I guess I'm just uncomfortable having that talk with her. Only one person knows what happened. I don't know how to bring up the subject and have it not be awkward.

>>18305261
I'm including it because I feel like it's less common for female manager to make these kinds of jokes, and she might also feel comfortable doing this sort of thing because we're both female

I feel like some of the dynamic behind it changes depending on her gender

>>18305262
It is a bit awkward to tell someone who isn't exactly close to you these things but sometimes it has to be done for your own emotional welfare, there's no magical way to make these things less emotionally jarring or less awkward

You can't work in an environment where these bad events are constantly in your mind, the fact you even came here to ask for help is proof of this, so confront her and try to have a normal talk like adults about it.

If she doesn't stop then obviously it's an issue that HR needs to resolve

>>18305269
Well, it's not exactly common for male managers either, she is a weirdo for sure.

>she might also feel comfortable doing this sort of thing because we're both female
Fair point.

Does the person who know about it work with you, you could ask them to talk to her personally for an easy way out. Otherwise just wait for the next opportunity when she uses it and have a little chat with her. It's going to be awkward at start but unless she'sbraindead, she'll be happy to stop. Sometimes people simply don't know how their normal behavior affects others.

It's professional for her to joke like that. You aren't going to ruin her life at all. They will just talk to her and she will stop that shit immediately because she won't want to lose her job, and as a manager, every little incident adds up as a portfolio against you.

She'll likely know it was you, and could behind the scenes try to stop you from moving up, but retaliation is something you get fired for, so she'd have to be extremely careful.

>>18305361
Then OP can go to the media and get a nice settlement and an eventual book deal.

Ask to speak to her in private when she had some free time and explain the situation. Tell her what happened to you and how her jokes make you uncomfortable. Hopefully she will stop.
If she doesn't then report her, but also know that from what it sounds like you are dooming your career.

>>18305255
Stop being so sensitive and learn to deal with your inner demons without lashing out at others because of shit like trigger words.

Shoot that nigger in the head. Kill her dead

>>18306788
This. One little joke and you want to start raping her professionally.