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I don't care about life and I don't know how to. I've wasted soo many years being NEET and I have no future but I don't really care to fix it.

He's so cute. Wonder what he thinks of me. Probably nothing

>>18303036
Please just let me love you.

All I want right now is that if I will go back to school, I will only stay there for the year. Really fucking hoping that I can pull that off

>>18303169
Same

I want you so bad. I need my girl.

Whenever anyone talks about you it is with a weird restraint. There's all this dark matter surrounding you. Okay, you scare me. I guess it's the lack of natural randomness. I suspect some disruption in the natural pattern of fate. Im caught in your system somehow or you in mine and I can't extricate myself, or you.

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Why did you hold my hand if you weren't sure you liked me? I like you so much, why do you have to make me feel like shit all the time?

I love you. But sometimes I just want to handcuff you somewhere dark and secluded and start working on you with a knife. I want your head, cut your neck ear to ear and just take the whole thing after. That way your perfect, mine, forever. Then I snap back.

ive already told you this but have fun in New York my love. You're gonna have so much fun seeing such a big city.

I can't stop thinking about you and I'm glad I was able to make your airport wait much better.

I love you so much,. Please make it home safe. I can't wait to see you next week, I'm counting the days down.

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I'm very sorry that I didn't take the time to better myself when we were together. I am working on myself and I miss you. I hope that you're missing me as well and thinking about me as much as I'm thinking about you. Please come back to me.

I have to... disconnect.

I feel too much. I feel too strongly, and yet I feel nothing at all.

Come walk with me, take off your shoes, let's walk the beach with only the moon to light the path and waves to hear you tell me you love me. Why does the ocean rock the moon to sleep every night? So the sun will wake and kiss the beach.

You might want to consider making an effort. You might want to join me in making an effort. Sometimes I wonder if you ever consider the fact that people like me are good to have around, in spite of everything.

>>18303389
If you showed some love to me maybe I would

I just discovered that I have PTSD from living on a village as a child.

>>18303409
& how should I go about doing that now?

come here

I just had to tell the truth didn't i?
I knew i was going to blab my feelings about anonette to you other-anonette while we were hanging out and now i feel like shit for burdening you with them and for reopening a door which i was content to keep closed

I feel like i should text you sorry, but it would make me seem weaker than i already am

But i will learn from this, whatever happens

I wish I was the man in your life that can save you from yourself so you can save me from the darkness that is my life with your love, but I guess some bridges can't be built.

I'm scared of rejection so i dont approach any women.

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Don't stop trying. Keep pushing forward. I believe in you. Things have just been hard of late. I know they will get better.

Not gonna lie, I wish I could give you a hug. It ain't much, but I really do want to see you smile. But for now, stay strong... keep doing your best. I offer any help I can give. I'm here for you.

You don't have to deal with life alone... life cheats. Sometimes we need all the help we can get so we make things even.

But yeah, life sucks. You couldn't be more right about that. Fight, I believe you can do this. Once you get pass this, you will feel so much better.

To be quite honest... I wish I could have been able to see this myself before all this happened.

Behind every cloud, there's a bit of sun. After every night, a sunrise. And even in the darkerst of nights, we have the stars and the moon. And when there seems to be nothing, we make fire. Nothing is hopeless, not as long as we wake up and breathe. Some days are just harder than others, some nights a bit darker.

Things will get better...

>I ignored you because you were annoying and negative
Just fuck my shit up, I ruined everything. When someone tells you "You can talk to me about anything", never believe them.

I feel like my life is falling apart for a couple of reasons. First, at my family's business my father is the reason anything gets done and im in training. He had to go to brain surgery because of a brain tumor so im running thr shop by myself and I dont know what to do. I'm also stressed out because his surgury has complications and I love him dearly. Since im so focused on literally managing everything at work and dealing with 15 vustomers daily, I also have uni. Ever since the emergency weeks ago, my grades have all dropped from B's to all low-D's. Now I have to pass the finals to pass class. I know that im fucked for math because im just so behind. I've had to skip some classes because of appointments with customers. Secondly, when I get home at 9pm, I need to feed and watch my brother and sister. I also do homework for like 3 hrs along with cooking and washing their dishes. I have no time for vidya and I hit bed at around 1:00am but can't sleep because of stress. I usually pass out at 3:00 and wake up at 7:00 and leave home at 7:30 to go to classes (i have early classes from 8-12:00). I've been getting close to 4hrs sleep every night. Also every weekend I'm doing literally nothing but homework. Watching my siblings for 5 weeks straight is expensive and I also have about $190 left. My car insurance is due on the 25th. Unfortunately because of the work dilemmas I'm not getting enough money to pay myself. I'm earning almost no money, and all of it is going to materials. I'm just an apprentice and I can only do super simple jobs. My life is falling apart, help

>>18303036
I'm a privileged lazy cunt loved by his family & I have no reason to feel this terrible about myself.

I'm tired of life, it's like literally everything is bullshit and absolutely everyone is okay with it except me.

>>18303551
Nice anon. I wish I knew you.

I'm 24. I thought I was asexual but I now get turned on by some friend of mine when we are near each other, she's the first person I really want to have sex with. This has never happened to me before. And I think she just wants to be friends with me.

I lied to myself about loving someone, so lied to her about it as a consequence and now I'm being resentful towards her for lying to herself about not loving someone else and having lied to me as a consequence. It's not the letting go part that hurts, it's the 'having held onto something that wasn't real'. The funny part is that I can't even find resentment therapeutic, or find solace in blaming her as I know we both fucked up by lying to ourselves.

It's affecting my day to day life and there's no rational solution. I guess an apology would do me some good, but it'll never happen. This too shall pass, I guess.

Get fucked you fat sack of shit
I don't really give a fuck at this point, I know you're going to talk shit about me behind my back
And you can fucking shove it telling yourself I need this shit in my life

Peace

>>18303639
you speak in very vague terms. define your problem and start doing something about it.
>>18303675
buckle up anon. delayed teenage relationships are quite common with 20 year olds. Whatever you do, always tell the truth.
>>18303701
sounds awful. I'm sorry
>>18303717
kek

I "lost" 7 years of my life. Trying to think back on them feels like a fog, like everything was just a dream I woke up from recently.
I hate myself for missing on all the things I could have done, could have experienced. I see all the others and they have such a great life, they went in so many countries, have hobbies, have achievements...I'm nothing. And it doesn't feel like I could change everything. It's all too late.

>>18303831
What happened? A person you were with or just not having the motivation to do anything?

Also, it's never too late. I know people say that to you all the time and you of course never want to believe them but you have plenty of time to do the things you want to do! Get out there and do it!!

I won't be what you want me to be, baby. I won't say what you want me to say. I'll be right here when you call my name, waiting

The biggest giveaway that you guys have been giving me steroids and hormones is how my dick started to act differently.

The same way that you would put weed in the twizzlers I was eating. I hate hate hate HATE the way weed makes me feel and it was a dead giveaway.

I don't know what exactly you are giving me right now or how you are administrating it. The biggest guess I have is you are putting it in my effexor caps.

Really though, it could be in anything I eat or drink. You have access to this shit in the factories before they get packed or sealed.

I'm also starting to think that there is more than one group involved in this.

I've been getting some super mixed messages. About staying with her or leaving her...

Strange.

People think I'm the father for real don't they?

I'm gonna have to side with ma boys over at super grumps.

>>18303866

I don't know, one day I just went into that state... I avoided going to uni to study, I needed nearly six years to do my bachelor, lost nearly all my relationships (except for one close friend and my familly, which I can never thank enough for putting up with me), I gained 40-50 kilos, and what I mostly did was playing videogames, surfing on the internet and watching porn.

I don't want to say it's depression, I did not get medical diagnosis so it would not be fair to say it was depression towards people who really suffer from it, but there was (or still is) certainly something wrong with me.

I'm now 28, and everytime I look around me, people all have had so many experience in their youth, they went to so many countries, have already work experience, and are active in sports or other hobbies.

I took up drawing, playing keyboard and plan to learn singing, but I can't stop thinking how better my life would have been if I had not "malfunctionned" all those years ago. It just feels like I have wasted all those years rich in experience, and will never be able to become "good" at what I wish I could be. I feel like i have a weight attached at me that I will never be able to lose, like some sort of pressure in my chest that is hindering my breath.

The first relationship I got in was already years after we had last talked. Years of hoping, dreaming, arguing and getting mad at myself over all of this. I thought, hoped, that I was done, if I would just invest myself fully in this I was sure everything was going to be just fine. After all people like to tell those who are too infested with their first love they just have to get out and try with someone else to realize the "first" wasn't as special after all.
It took a year for the thoughts of you to resurface. Another half for me to stop caring and breaking it up.
I was reckless and somewhat destructive in my search for someone. Someone who would feel the same as you did. And I feel bad about those I hurt along the way. But you know, the more I think about it the clearer it gets to me that it might be impossible. We had known each other for so long, had already shared so many memories and then there was the tension that grew between us. And the moment when it was finally released in a kiss. I don't think that's repeatable.
I'm in a relationship once more. My partner is great, sweet, caring. But the thoughts of you come and go. And at times I get lost in day-dreams again and I know that I being a bad partner at those times.
Once this relationship ends, which it will eventually, I won't search again. There is really no use to it as long as I'm like this, obsessed with you somewhere so deep inside me that it won't go away. There is no need to hurt more people over my selfishness. I will just wait.

Little baby...

I still have the flame for you...

For the girl you pretended to be, not for the girl you are.

The girl my flame burns for is dead.

>>18303954
Hey. That kinda sounds like some kind of depression.
I'm 28 as well. I went to hell after my deployment overseas. Fucked up a telethon with a wonderful girl. Been trying to get past and learn from it.

Now, whether or not if you had depression, the thing to note is that the clouds are starting to leave. I had that feeling too, of things I could have done instead of just stagnation. But do not think about that.

You can see the sunrise again. The light is in you friend. The dark as well, so hold on to the light. Like seeing the sun for the first time after weeks of clouds, let it toast your skin, let it warm you. Feel it bro.

That you might have missed out, that matters nothing. Because if you start to dwell on the things you missed, you might miss what you have coming does you now.

Charge forward, blindly of you must, run as far as you can from the storm that you just got out of.

Praise the Sun, muh nigga.

for whence came a fall into the lake
it wasn't like the other times of a liquid engulfment
found the feeling as if water dessicated the flesh
the relief the water posed wasn't the erosion of my flesh
the pretention no use they have better
wrought of no reserve from another whose pretending
waiting a recompense anticipation of stale malevolence
irrelevance engulfs all things into the obscurity of time
grown comfort of flaking frozen furvor in frigidity
under the layered shells of dead skin cells
i need you here with me now
you're only hollow just like me
how the shell is eroding on both us is serene

>>18303990
Fuck I need to clear the auto correct for this phone. Geeze.

Relationship not telephon.

>>18303036
Why don't you stop lying to me

This is divine intervention.

I want to pray to God but I don't want to come off selfish or self-centered. To only ask for things, to be needed or greedy.

The things that I saw just yesterday leave me with so much confusion at their existence. How can this be happening? How did you know I would want to go out at that time? How do you organize so many things? To know I was going to be at that stop light talking about those things? That when I got home the video would be stopped at that exact moment.

There is a God, I assure you all of this. Technological, mystical, or supernatural I don't know but what I am going through right now is downright biblical.

How is this possible?

What even am I?

What is my purpose in all of this?

I'm suffering so much. I'm psychologically broken, questioning reality itself... and you make me do it all alone.

Decorders, morse code, voyager's golden disc.

I just want it to be over. I don't want to play anymore games. I'm so tired... I just want to die.

Kinda wanna save up for a motorcycle, buy a nice insurance policy, then die in an "accident" after a few months.

>>18303409
I would treat you the way I treat everyone. I would be friendly and indifferent. But you couldn't stand that so you had to twist the knife. You continue and you know it you try to shame me okay I'm ashamed.

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I have come to a troubling realization.
Some time ago I started watching Jordan Peterson's lectures and other videos where he talks on youtube, and today one thing which he said struck me, namely the statement about how much of our self image tends to be based on lies we tell ourselves.

My troubling realization relates to me and my cousins, and the relationship I had with them during the time I spent living at my aunts place, and the clash I had with my aunt last year, during which she said that I was a threat to my cousins and made them afraid and anxious, which I took as an accusation of me being a pedophile, and henceforth cut contact with her.

The realization itself is something that I have known for a long time, but kept denying myself, that being the fact that I did, and still do, love those two girls, maybe even romantically, or at least closest to that level of love I have ever been to in my soon to be 24 years of existence. I mean, I even said here that some years ago, but after the clash with my aunt, I buried all of that deep in my head, partially probably because of guilt. If my aunt's accusations were entirely baseless (not that some of her claims weren't total bs, like for example, the girls being anxious and uncomfortable around me bit was total bollocks, as my encounter with them about a month ago proved).

But still, I guess that I on some level, may be a pedophile? I mean, it's not like I masturbate to child porn or shit like that, unless you count some fucked up hentai as CP, but given that in that realm my tastes are quite twisted in all sorts of directions, I do not consider that to be a clear indication of any sort of real life sexual preferences. I am not even that sexual person, given that view masturbation mostly as something to do to just relieve myself of temporary boner the fastest way I know how. But still, my bond with my cousins was not exactly cousins ought to have, especially given our age difference.

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>>18304073
My relationship with my cousins was not motivated by sexual desire, so on that level though, I don't think that I am a pedo. It was chiefly motivated by my loneliness, and the girls being the only source of affection I had in my life, but, I would be lying if I claimed that it didn't develop some borderline sexual elements at least in my head. I can't pretend that I didn't enjoy cuddling with the girls, hugs with them, or how they used to climb to my bed in mornings and wake me up by crawling next to me.
I also think that the cuddling, hugs and caressing may have crossed a line I should not have crossed, that went beyond just family members being affectionate, and into something borderline sexual at least on my part. Not that I molested them, or touched their private parts or shit like that, but it was not as innocent as I convinced myself it was.
Also, given that I am actually sexually attracted to adult women, and what I feel for my cousins is focused entirely on them, and not something I feel towards kids in general, I do think that the pedophile label would be wrong to be stamped on me.

In addition, given the situation I was in when all this shit started, I can see why things developed the way they did. I mean, I was lonely, unknowingly to myself depressed 19-20 something that had moved to my aunt's place in order to go to some therapist that was supposed to help me figure out what to do with my life, and I knew absolutely nobody besides my aunt and her family in the city. My cousins became my only friends, and they were the first females in my entire life, who had ever showcased the type of affection towards me, that they did. I grew to love them, and from that, stemmed the weird borderline sexual feelings. The age of the girls was not the thing that drew me to them, had the contact I had had at the time been with girls my age, I am sure something similar would have developed.

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>>18304076

When the therapist I was visiting concluded that I was depressed, and that she could not help me until that problem was solved, I moved back home, and now, for the first time, experienced the crushing lack of affection for the first time, after having gotten used to daily affection and feeling of being loved by someone. That drove me near the brink and drove my pathological obsession with my cousins even further. I am glad that my parents forced me into therapis that helped me to climb out from the pit of suicidal despair.

After that, things have slowly been getting better, but I am still depressed, and still aimless at my life, and I have been living at the same city where my aunt lives for one and a half year due to studying (and failing at that) here. After the clash I had with my aunt, I didn't see my cousins for almost a year until some weeks ago at my sister's graduation party, which tore open the wounds once more, and once again, confirmed me what I already know, the fact that I loved them, but at the time, I refused to admit it out of shame. My existence here has been lonely and miserable as fuck, especially after the course I was on last year ended and the social circle around it dissolved. During the past months, I have been supposed to prepare for an entrance exam to university, but have sort of failed at it because I can't muster up the motivation to it partially because all the other issues I have going on in my life. I wish that I could see my cousins, but given the unresolved situation between me and my aunt, I haven't visited them once, despite wanting to, and with this realization, I doubt if I even should. I love them, true, but I also realize that what I feel for them is not mutual, and also not healthy for me.

All in all, I do not know what to do. I am surprisingly calm right now despite coming to this realization. Maybe I should just sleep on it, and talk about this with my therapist the next time I have a session with him.

>>18303991
That's great! Is that a quote?

>>18304077
Finally, all the people who in these threads during the past years called me a pedo and insulted me etc, feel free to say "I told you so", though I ask you to reflect on yourself, and ask yourselves honestly how you would have acted if you had been in my place.
I do want to remind you all, that I never molested or sexually abused those girls, or shit like that.
The most "intimate" contact we had was one time when the older one of the girls gave me a shy kiss on my lips that I was so taken aback by that I didn't even know how to react.

Still, it was the first and thus far the last time I have ever been kissed by a girl.

>>18304084
Thanks, and no it's oc.

I am so sorry
I wish I could go back in time to not do that

I'm not even going to tell you there's black mold in the toilet bowl. I'll just clean it myself without saying a word. If I tell you, you'll just say "it won't kill me" and start yelling at me for no reason...

still have to watch myself and make sure i don't think about you with other guys, lest i go CrAzY
it's not as bad as it used to be but to be honest i think i've been a self centered asshole who hasn't realised it for a long time
which is probably the worst personality trait for someone who already has anxiety and is severely delayed in learning social skills cus all my key development stages were fucked over by shame
i still remember when i was 10 year old and heard my crush say she hated me, and i just sat, pretend i hadn't heard it and thought about it for the next week. sometimes i think that moment defined what i'm like and i fucking wish i wasn't like this

22, still a virgin, but not kissless anymore at least.

Maybe I can still make it.

>>18303990

Yeah I think sometimes I also feel overwhelmed with all the possibilities that I see now open to me. Perhaps I'm complicating things in my head and I will progress faster than I imagine.

It's heartbreaking everytime I hear something positive About how "The dog days are over." and "happiness hit her like a truck" or "the world is your oyster." or "your life with be your fantasy."

You have been saying this for nearly half a year now and nothing has happened. I haven't learned anything new. You just keep repeating yourselves time and time again.

It just makes me think you're fucking with me even more. That nothing is going to happen. You're just trying to push me to get my hopes up only to be let down and I kill myself.

My last 2-3 years were hell. I had awful anxiety that manifested mostly as personal shame (I would avoid saying anything that could possibly upset anyone ever so as you can imagine I didn't speak a lot [worked decently but the cost was not at all worth it lol]), but also an unhealthy obsession with 2 different girls (by that I mean they made me so anxious that even thinking about them made me nauseous; don't think I need to tell you guys about how much teenagers obsess over their crushes), making what should've been an exciting time in my life relatively dull.
One time I was piss drunk and one of the girls happened to be at an event I was going to flirting with other boys and I freaked the fuck out. Went to puke my guts out, and when she tried to talk to me I told her that I wanted to die and to fuck off. That was just my way of handling complex emotions.
I can't even bear to imagine how other people remember me. I still carry a lot of shame and self doubt with me. It's the only feeling that seems to stay with me.

I've lost track of how many times I've tried to "get to the bottom" of the mess that is my life. Tracing over crucial details of my life trying to figure out where and why I fucked up. I really need to just find a way out and not look back.

If it's not my dog, it's my DUI aunt, if not her, it's my recently widowed grandmother, if not her, then my own mother.

I've fucking forget what a good nights sleep feels like and I'm reaching breaking point where I say "fuck it" selling all my shit and living on the streets killing any fucking connection I have to other people because everyone thinks I never need sleep.

I love my family to bits but they are slowly trying to kill me off. Every second of every fucking day someone needs something.

I can understand my grandmother, she's old and her husband isn't around to take care of her.

But there's three other people in my house, but the dog chooses to wake me up for attention every time I try to sleep.
My aunt got herself into this mes with a DUI, and guess who's the one paying for it, now the family fucking chauffeur? I bought a tiny little car with near to no passenger space to avoid this bollocks.
And my mother has plenty of friends when she's going off on vacation, but can't get one of them to give her a left literally 2 minutes down the road (10 on foot) at half fucking five in the morning when I work lates?

I reduced my hours at work because the stress was making me suicidal, wanting to just swerve the car into a tree. It was not a fucking invitation for everyone else to go "Hey, he's free, lets make him do stuff".

I'm not free. In an ideal world I'd have time to look for another fucking job, but I'm to busy catering to your fucking needs, and the sleep deprivation is giving me the fucking headaches again. I'M NOT FREE, BECAUSE YOU ARE ALL CONSPIRING TO ENSURE I DON'T EVEN GET TO SLEEP ANYMORE.

I had about 2 weeks of suicide three thoughts before you all started shitting on me and right after our last dog died too.

I honestly can't take too much more of this shit.

I'm taking painkillers left and right for the headaches but if I get addicted the pain will get worse.

Here's hoping I fall asleep at the wheel next time you need a lift.

>>18304185
What did you do? How long as it been? Maybe you should reach out to that person?

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I am a first-year law student at the best university in my country, I skipped my final year of high school to get here so I have no friends, and haven't managed to make any lasting connections with anyone here despite my efforts. I thought I had failed my first test and was almost relieved? As if I didn't really wanna do law, after all, I really love my other papers more. But I rechecked my marks and I'm getting a passing grade, but now that the finality of failure is gone, I'm left with the unease of underachieving and the niggling feeling that my dreams aren't what I thought they were.

TLDR dumb girl wants to study latin full time instead of pursuing childhood law dreams

Liar.

>>18303036
My old man keeps needing to borrow money from me to save face and It's killing my funds and making it impossible to chase my dreams. I can't stop because I feel like I owe him for raising me but it's slowly wearing down on my sanity because I feel like my future is escaping.

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>gave him my number a month ago
>still not a single text
it's time to move on, isn't it, /adv/?

>>18304227
Take it slow and just take in the moment.
It's like being handed a canvas and a person telling you "paint me a masterpiece".
Little strokes, my friend, nice and easy until you have a painting that you can be happy with. In the end, when you leave this plane, you should be able to say "I'm cool with this, I had a good one."

Life isn't a race, it's a war. It doesn't matter who gets to the finish line first. What matters is the quest your on, the allies you make, the battles you fight. Relish your victories, and learn from your defeats. That's life, and now you have yours back from the jaws of despair. Now you fight to keep it in yours.

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>>18304328
Yeah, kind of.

Sorry for that, anon. Better luck next time!

>>18304185
Hindsight is always 20/20, right?

The truth is, I know that you wouldn't. No, it's easy to say now, overcome with emotion. What you recollect is not a true experience, but an image of one. Everything that added up to that state of mind when you made that decision, gone. Replaced by the context of today.

There's no point in regretting what you can't change, you can only embrace it. You did what you thought was right. If it turned out wrong, you learn. If everything is fine, then don't worry about it. A step in a direction does not guarantee a fulfilling journey. The difference between one outcome and another doesn't always lie in a singular action, but a series of events.

I did what I thought was right, what was in the best interest of those around me. I can't regret that. I tried. Were there better solutions? Probably, but there's no use dwelling on that, as it wasn't within my power at the time.

The best thing you can do is keep those considerations in heart while moving forward. The past will never change, but you can still influence the future.

>>18304294
Vague person being all vague.

We could have had a damn good relationship, but you ruined it by avoiding everything you didn't like. We could have talked it out, but you'd rather ignore me or make me forget about it by talking dirty to me. I wish you would just talk to me for like 20 minutes do we could work things out.

>>18304389
I know, right?

Like, I took the garbage out, but you didn't specify how far I had to take it. You said save me SOME milk, you didn't say how much. You said to put the toilet seat down, but you never said I couldn't drill a hole in it. You said you wanted something expensive for your birthday, but you never said it had to be in one piece.

I'm not a liar, you're just excluding important details.

I wish I knew what was going to happen. WHEN it was going to happen.

I don't want to have sex any time soon. I really want to do all the hospital stuff first. I really need to ease into this but I want everyone to be straight with me, to be upfront. I don't want to keep living in this lie and I just want to know what is happening.

Please, please tell me when it's going to happen. Is it that date I found hidden in the light and shadows? Why so far away? Can we please move it up by... 3 weeks?

Could we please just do it tomorrow?

Please?

Living is suffering. I'm so lonely. I'm so anxious and stressed out. Every day feels like a year. Every day is a day taken from my life. I can't do anything... I can't do anything at all. You have me completely shut off from the world with no one to talk to.

SO please, end this. Let me start a real life.

please.

God why are you doing this to me? Why do you want me to suffer so badly? Why do you want me to go through this for as long as possible? Why won't you just end it?

WHY? WHY? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY

I literally saved your life, was in hospital for a week just to keep you safe, and now you give me the cold shoulder? I thought we were friends...

recently i've been thinking of myself through these distorted caricatures
like i'm some weird retarded creature that always has really stiff or dumb posesand speaks in a retarded way
feels fucking psychotic

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agreed to keep this slow, take our time, be patient, no commitments/labels, etc.

now we're still calling each other babe, saying we love each other, etc., and we aren't anything serious in the slightest fashion?

im confused, If you feel some odd pressure to say these things to me then tell me, don't say them just to make me happy if you feel otherwise.

the truth hurts but its more liberating than pussy-footing around everything.

and I know youre still talking to max, I just don't bring these kinds of things up because I enjoy the real you, not the promiscuous random hookup past you that all your friends talk about.

youre across the country for a week. you know the right things to do and say, please don't do anything to hurt me after you say it just pains you inside to do such things.

I want to break up with you. I don't love you anymore and its been so long I don't remember if I ever did. You love me, yet you're so sensitive. You've entrenched yourself into my life and the only reason we're still together is because I said I wouldn't break up with you at the end of the semester. .

I wish I knew how much money I would be getting. "Like, a bajillion" is not exactly specific.

The number I found can't be right. It's waaayyyy toooooo much.

I wouldn't mind having my own intercontinental twin jet plane to do my traveling. Enough to fit me and my ladies.

I don't want a massive home either. I'm assuming it's going to be in LA, large enough to house 8 women (including myself). comfortably.

As for cars... I do want one fancy as fuck sportscar and then just one normal car. The house would have to have a garage though, wouldn't it? So all the girls could have a car for themselves? I know that the guys these girls are leaving for me are superrrr butthurt about this whole thing. That they are saying I won't let them leave the house or they will be picking up after a disabled man but they are seriously just butthurt.

I just don't want to spend a whole bunch of money but I do want to travel and live happy for once in my life.

I wish I knew what was happening.

I wish Isomeone would talk to me about all of this. Why are you dragging it out? It's driving me crazy.

None of this might even happen.

Or I might end up owning an enitre island and city.

Or I might just end up getting sacrificed to your gods.

>>18304462
also, you didn't have to tell me about fucking a friend of mine before we met. like that just came out of the blue for no reason.

>>18303036
>be me.
>be 25
>live at home with parents cus senior in uni and broke.
>old childhood friend comes back into life
>she was gone for 4plus years with controlling BF
>she got out of a shit realtionship and a drug issue.
>we used to flirt when we were yougner (backrubs etc.)
>never went anywhere until recently
>i kissed her during a netflix binge
>always wanted to do this
>thought it would be like kissing my sister
>turns out it was great
>loved her lips
>we kissed more and more passionately
>talked a bit about it
>both wanted to do thiss ffor a while thought it might feel gross but it felt amazing.
>have sex
>have more sex
>have sex everyday for a week or so
>she texts me CONSTANTLY about sex
>constant smut back and forth both telling eachother how much we like eachothers bodies etc.
>easter sunday she freaks out
>says its her hormones and the what getting off a drug is like.
>we stop texting completely
>have sex once or twice a week.
now its down to no talking at all if i try to contact her i get nothing and excuses

:( i miss my friend and my fuck buddy

>get emotionally attached cus ima softy i guess.

what do?

>>18304225
you got this senpai

>>18303036
I can't beat my fucking erytrophobia. It's tiring and unfair. I am fully aware of how stupid of a problem it is, but it's still crippling and unsolvable. I can't even talk to my fucking family in a normal manner.
I don't now how much longer can i fight it.

>>18304564

Did you ever like her as a friend and try to help her, or do you only miss her because your own needs aren't being met?

Almost broke down and texted you today. geezy petes....

Love is dead and you killed it.
Iv got a heart of stone now, covered brick and bone. Thanks for the life lesson I guess, when someone tells you they love you. They don't mean it. You can have the biggest heart in the world and people just take from it and that's it. You'll end up empty like me.

>>18304676
both? we spent alot of the time after or b4 sex talking about her issues and mine. we talked for days about shit b4 the first kiss and stuff.

It's been 10 years. I just want to burn something down again. I wish I never told you what I did so I could deny it without you suspecting.

I drank a bottle of whiskey with a gay guy in a college dorm. He passed out on the floor. I slept in my bed. I'm paranoid he tried something shady like to rape me. I'm decently confident that I feel normal just completely freaked out

>>18303316
she's cheating on you

We made a really good team, and even though it sucks that you're going away and I won't be able to find anyone like you, I'm happy about the times we spent together.

Notice me please, IR

I don't know why I don't listen to my friends.

ive blown them off countlessly to put up with you, to spend the night and fuck like rabbits all night and while that sounds fun, this shit is meaningless and you know it.

you know your heart isn't it in as much as mine is. ive backed off quite a bit, youre the one proceeding with the affectionate pet names and such. I cant take it anymore, I cant take it knowing there are however many other guys you are talking to while you lie to my fucking face about how great I am, how appreciative you are of me, how you've changed my life.

I know this year has been rough on you and god bless you for sticking to it, but this isn't for me. I need someone that appreciates all my weirdness and quirky traits, not someone who needs a shoulder to cry on when you cant get dicked late night out at the bar.

i'm in a longterm committed relationship but holy shit i want to fuck other women. blonde ones, brunette ones, tall ones, short ones, big ones, little ones, old ones, young ones, all kinds of races, all kinds of skin pigments and eye colors and backgrounds and life stories. i want to know what it feels like to fuck all kinds of women

Hey pal,
Eventually, we are stop talking to each other. That's life. I hope you know that it was certainly the best of times being around you. Honestly, that scares me. I'm a really shitty person as you can see by the shear amount of people who just hate my guts in general. I don't think our friendship is going to last long after this. I hope the next best friend you have takes care of you very well.

>>18303036
Worthless
Stupid bitch
Stupid fucking bitch
I am worthless
I am a monster
Nothing I ever do will be good enough
They hate you, you make them unhappy
It would be better if I was gone
They hate you
Stupid fucking cow
I am worthless
I don't deserve to be loved
I am a bad mother
I am a bad wife
I am so fucking stupid
They would be better off without me
Dumb cunt
Fucking worthless cunt
It hurts so much

>>18304838
just drain his balls with the good succ lmao

>>18304865
What? I do that when ever he wants. It's not about that. He could find a better girl if I was gone anyways.

>>18304878
be less vague

Please don't abandon me like everyone else has. I'm not perfect. I really am a good person.

>>18304881
I am a bad person. I am broken and stupid and worthless. My husband and older kid hate me. If I wasn't pregnant I would just kill myself and stop making them unhappy. I am horrible for having another child when I'm already such a fuck up. I hate myself so much it hurts. I just want a way out

>>18304896
be less vague

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>>18304896

when I turned 21 and realized I hadn't had sex or a relationship, it bummed me out.

now ive had multiple partners, been dating a girl for the past two months, and I want to put my fucking head into a concrete wall.

maybe its me, I don't know. but I cant take the head games, making emotional investments when they might not even be worthwhile.

I kinda liked getting piss drunk every night and jerking myself off to sleep as sad as that sounds

Idk, man. I don't think I'm meant to be loved because of the marks on my body. I miss the cushy lifestyle I used to have and I'm considering moving but I'm not sure where to. I'm in love with the idea of starting over but I'm changing my name first so my mom can't find me.

Can't wait until I have a 3 year old daughter who sings to John Maus with me in the car while smoking joints inside not very concerned about her pulmonary well being.

I'm going to kill myself. I don't know when. It's envitable.

I don't have anything to look foward to anything tomorrow. Is forward spelled "forward" or "foward"? I always forget.

This might sound a little crazy, but today in college we were passing back books and I had to stand up to get mine from a girl twice, and I could have sworn she looked down at my dick both times. This is very different for me as most girls don't pay me much attention.

I jacked off to my ex tonight.
I deleted his pics from everything I owned, but went and unlocked my onedrive tonight when the urge hit me.
Now I feel like shit, the way I always have when I think about him.
It's been over a year. There's no way we're going back.
He cheated on me, got engaged three months after we broke up, and may be married now for all I know.
He was a lowlife scum.
I'm in college, and he went off "to the workforce" when we graduated high school.
We're both 21 now.
Even if I could have him back, I don't want him back.
He is extremely good looking, but repulsive to me as a person.
I honestly hate him.
Recently, I met a guy who got my mind off my ex for a little while.
Things were going good. This new guy was perfect. I was falling in love.
Then he made it clear that he doesn't feel the same.
It broke my heart.
I've been trying to reconcile my head and my heart for a month now.
Porn does nothing for me.
I went and jacked off to a man I hate, and meanwhile my heart was stuck on a man who I wish I could love.
I feel so ugly and so torn. Used. Broken.
I don't want to be here anymore.

I fucking hate people. There stupid and even stupider concerning themselves with bullshit upon bullshit that they think is needed to be necessary for life, and not content with that they insist on trying to drag every other fucker into their their stifling stupid fucking tiny minded fucking stupid,fucking fucking stupid ideas about the way life should be not realising it's all fucking made up.

What is it does every fucker have a misery of a life and wants to drag everyone else down with them

I love people but sometimes I could just slap them so hard

Grrrraaaah

>>18305024
misery loves company

I cheated on my gf (dating over a year now) because my friends convinced to get a blowjob from a black chick on campus and I came within minutes

Oh, so she can see WHO has viewed her instagram story and HOW MANY TIMES? Well, I guess im going to kill myself now.

Some of my online friends are coming on too strong. It's so odd when they flirt with me or when they argue for my attention. Won't say I'm not faltered, just not used to it. But I'm not cute in anyway. They just seem to like me. It's so weird.

Doesn't help that we are all guys and the only one I am okay with is the trap. He's cute, but I have a gf.

I've been... disillusioned.

I wonder if I've really idealized you too much. I wonder if I've... been chasing a ghost.

You don't... care about me at all. You never did but I wanted so badly to believe that you would.

Deep down, I've made friends in this shithole. Not 4chan, god no. I mean my workplace.

When I found out one of them had what basically amounted to a mini-heart attack that was eventually a result of Congestive Heart Failure...upsetted me. Not because that friend informed me, but because that meant he's only going to be here for so long.

He's a cool dude, and it hurts me deep inside that he might not last as long as expected. He had surgery done that took one of his arm veins out to save one of the 2 fucked valves, but even the thought of losing him kinda fucks with me.

Without this guy, I'd basically have no reason to go to work anymore. Well, next to the other guy who might have shit done inside his liver. That guy is cool, too.

Either way, if both of them die, a part of me dies with them. I know we're all mortals and we can only fight death for so long, but it just pains me to realize that I might become alone with nobody to enjoy being around anymore.

These people helped build me up to become the man I am today: A fucking independent strong man who can take care of his own ass. I'm like the Wammu/Wham of their Pillar men group, a guy raised by pros to basically become one.

I know that sounds like overdramatic hooey, but to be honest, if it weren't for them, I'd not only still be a NEET, I'd basically never open up to people and think the world was an even worse place than I still think it is.

I hate myself and have no self confidence and all that, and am trying to fix all of that however I can. Yesterday I mustered the will and courage to ask this qt in one of my classes for a coffee after and she said yes. She actually stuck around for around an hour and we talked without it going too bad before she had to go to an academic advisor meeting.

I set out to ask her this thing as an act of self-confidence yet I don't feel anything good. I feel like I should be proud of myself for actually breaking out of my self-hate and tremendous lack of confidence by asking this girl to do something, yet all I can do is criticize everything I said and did. All I've been thinking about are ways I probably fucked up/looked like a faggotcuck/ how it was all pointless. I mean its really not much of an accomplishment but I thought I'd feel a bit more confident after doing that, not experiencing a fresh new wave of self-hate and low confidence.

>>18305043
Was she hot? Was she better than your girlfriend? Do you plan to continue it?

>>18303717
Fuck oath

>>18305091
>all I can do is criticize everything I said and did. All I've been thinking about are ways I probably fucked up/looked like a faggotcuck/ how it was all pointless
This is good. This means you're trying to learn from doing something new like this. It's never going to feel quite comfortable, but you need to use that to push yourself into enough situations that will make you feel as close to comfortable as you can. And when you do finally feel that way, keep pushing the boundaries until you reach a familiar level of discomfort again. You're meant to strive.

I might not actually be lazy, and the fact that I fall asleep when reading more than a couple of pages of a book, and that I can't sleep because I hear songs constantly in my head might be because I have ADHD. I'm trying to find someone who can diagnose me but I have no job and I just applied for medicaid so we'll see what happens

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Gute Nacht

>>18305115
I hadn't thought of it like that at all. I've just been seeing all these negative thoughts as fact and its been demoralizing since all I can ever see myself is a fuckup. The whole thing was supposed to be a learning experience and I suppose you might be right. I'm just so used to failure that theres this part of me that wants to fail because its what we're most comfortable with.

I intend to kill that voice of failure, but damn is it tough fighting it. What you said is a much better way to look at it

>>18305126
Guten Morgen.

>>18305131
Guten Tag.

When my friends or family try and cheer me up I don't believe them. Like, I know they mean it. But I have such a low out look on myself, I just tell myself they're just lying to make me feel better. It hurts me, and it hurts them, which makes me feel worse, and it's this big cycle. Honestly, I just wanna go away so they won't have to deal with me anymore. Not like kill myself, but like move away

>>18305137
Vielen Dank, dir auch.

>>18305139
Hello, me.

I LOVE THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AND NOT IRONICALLY. I REALLY MEAN IT. PLEASE GET ME OUT OF THIS COUNTRY. IM SO SICK OF THIS BORING CRIME-RIDDEN HELL HOLE.

>>18305146
So you want to go to an exciting crime-ridden hellhole? K, if I were to immigrate it wouldn't be to the states. But that's just me I guess.

>>18304338

Thank you. Really needed that. As said I think my main problem now is that I want too much and I want it now, and when I don't get it directly I get frustrated and I feel discouraged to pursue it. I'll have to learn how to handle my frustration and not give up if I don't "get it right" the first time.

I've either fallen out of love with my boyfriend, am not attracted to him anymore, or am just bored. The point is, I feel like there's some sort of irrepairable disconnect with my feelings for him, and it's tearing me apart.

I can't pinpoint what exactly it is, but something just feels "wrong" with my relationship. Every time I try to ignore this feeling, it gets stronger, more intense and more urgent. I hate it so much.

I just want to be happy with him. He's honestly everything I've ever wanted in a guy, and I can't imagine my life without him. I've had some of the best times of my life with him, and I absolutely abhor the idea that it's probably all coming to an end soon. We've created beautiful, amazing memories together. I don't want to be with anyone else.

I can't enjoy being with him (physically) anymore. The last time we were together (long distance), I felt miserable and depressed. I just came back from spending a day or two with him, and I felt a bit beyyer, but I still broke down and cried a couple times.

I'm not happy anymore, but some part of me is refusing to accept it. I feel if I were to break up with him despite that, I'd just bawl my eyes out and be twice as miserable as I am now. At the same time, I'm not sure that this "unhappiness" is something that I can ignire or push through.

I love him so much, and I'd hate to wake up one morning and feel the crushing emptiness of simply not being his.

There's no write a letter to someone who will never read it, so this'll do.

V, is your head ACTUALLY that far up your ass that you don't realise why you were fired? Did you ACTUALLY expect to get away with doing a single fucking hour's worth of work in 12 hours? Especially when we're THIS close to the deadline? Your job was mindless, it didn't involve thinking or anything - all you had to do was copy and paste shit. You were letting the whole team down - and you REALLY didn't realise? You only got away with this shit for so long because H is your friend and far too nice to say anything to you. What you don't know is that she had me and some of the others re-do some of your work when you were away because you half-assed what you were doing.

By the way, it's not YOUR team. You a) work part time, b) do nothing but what amounts to data entry and c) have been away for three fucking weeks. Your seniority is limited to your age. You were given a 'higher status' because H is your friend. You weren't around when H left and E took over, you didn't have to deal with the transition. You were a liability to the team, and you ACTUALLY think you were its backbone?

And don't text me and imply that management are two-faced snakes who are trying to micro-manage us out of the place and are giving us false promises of work. MY employment isn't at threat because I'm a fucking good worker. I really do wish that they had told you the real reason you had been fired, because you need this wake-up call.

You're 34 fucking years old V, stop acting like you're 18.

>>18305024
I read recently that it took an astronaut going into space and looking down on earth to realize something I've known since a young age. That being how fucking stupid most of the stuff that goes on here (earth) is.

We could at least quest after a utopia, even if it was unattainable, but instead we always fall to our vices. It certainly looks from my point of view that money (greed) and popularity/looks (vanity) rule the world.

Funny thing is it doesn't have to be this way, but nobody with power gives a shit and everyone else is a slave to their own existence if nothing else.

I hate people too.

I hope every relationship you have fails. I hope your family stresses you into a heart attack, B. You let every friendship burn and dont even talk to people who care for you. Next time you think about driving straight into a tree, do it.

>>18303036
You have a nice job in your studies field.
You have friends you know since you were a kid and never leave you alone.
You live on your own in a house you don't have to pay.
You even take trips abroad every now and then.

And you fucking complained all the time with me that I have nothing of this.
You complained and never asked how I was really doing.

Out of all the movies playing right now, why did I ask her to see boss baby with me? What the fuck was I expecting her response to be??

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I'm lying on the moon
My dear, I'll be there soon
It's a dark and starry place
Times were swallowed up in space
We're here, a million miles away

There's things I wish I knew
There's no thing I'd keep from you
It's a dark and shiny place
But with you, my dear, I'm safe
And we're a million miles away...

A summer's night, and you, and paradise
So lovely and so full of grace
Above your head, the universe has hung its lights
And I reach out my hand to touch your face

I believe in impulse, in all that is green,
In the foolish vision that comes true,
That all that is essential is unseen,
And for this lifetime I believe in you.

All of the lovers and the love they made;
Nothing that was between them was a mistake.
All that is done for love's sake
Is not wasted and shall never fade.

O love that shines from every star,
Love reflected in the silver moon:
It is not here, but it's not far.
Not yet, but it will be here soon.

Life is chronologically, emotionally, physically unforgiving.

Abundance degrades endurance.
Endurance produces abundance.

Life is more thorns than rose, so enjoy the roses while they last, because the thorns are coming.

Pain is good for you.

God knows what he's doing.

>>18305266
tell him. if you know the truth, you have a duty to tell the truth. always.

God damnit I like you. Please notice me.

im really deeply depressed about my inability to form deep connections with people

im doing so well
im smart and getting my degree and people think im pretty and im travelling around the world and people like me and i have heaps of friends

but i just want to feel like im sharing my soul with somebody else
ive only ever felt like that once and he turned out to be a horrible, manipulative, cunt of a human being and now i feel like there's no point in even trying or living lol

>>18303036
I fall only for nice, funny, smart guys, the ones everyone genuinely like because they wouldn't hurt a fly. A bit introvert and good hearted guys.

But they hurt my feelings so bad. Relationships start amazingly but sooner or later I get my heart broken. Even if they honestly care about me.

I'm just so tired.

>>18304388
a single action precipitates a series of events that can't be undone. You're single action resulting a series of events that has gone on for years and years. You used others to cover yourself.

>>18305280
I don't talk to you because you're the ones who did this to me. People who pretend to care for you are doing just that, pretending to care for you. It's a bullshit fascade. They really want that person gone but don't have it in them to just be direct. why put anything into something that is fake. everytime i turn my back youre always talking shit. youre the ones who forced me to leave you. you acted like you cared to my face but that was just bullshit and i knew it then and i know it now. it was evident everytime you thought i was gone. youre happy every misfortune i find youre trying to influence misfortune on me then and now but have had the gull to act like you care. go die in a fire. youre fake friends. youre not even friends you can exress freely around and talk about problems with. youre people you can talk about mindless bullshit and gossip with. youre people who will turn on anyone but keep them around for convenienes sake. youre petty, deceitful, shallow and disingenuous. youre not someone who is fucked up in the head should have anything to do with. it will only cause both of us problems and i don't feel friendships of fascade are worth having.

>>18305319
Sometimes I wonder if you're with somebody else now, which probably you are. I'm hoping that everything is doing well with you now that I'm gone. I always look at the moon and think of you. I miss you so much. Everything reminds me of you and still think of what if you were with me holding each other or if you ever like the new stuff I see everyday or your thoughts about the places I go. I miss talking to you ;-;

>>18305479
What did they do?

>>18305231
That's okay, women aren't capable of love anyway.

>>18305227
You feel too strongly. It's like everything had been dammed up for so long that releasing a little isn't enough. But you have to learn to slow down, or lest you washed away in the flood of emotions and desires you feel again.

I wonder if you think we are going to do this again? This isn't like January when I was so strung up on you. You want to ignore me,then so be it. Don't tell me you love me if you dont then turn around and act like this. We've been together a fucking year. I deserve to know what's going on. So I will say this is over. Good luck in life.

1/1 Hey, mommy. It's me.

You told me you had cancer and I believed you. You scared me for months while I was away trying to build a life for myself as I chased a ghost. 3 months before I left, my life began falling apart because I was in a one-sided relationship where I fought hard to have negative attention because he no longer thought positively of me. I tasted the projection, I buried who I was to portray myself as what he liked and I still was burned in the end. By then you said you couldn't walk or drive and it would be best for me to come home to help you rather than I be alone so far away from family. When I came home I struggled finding work, I went to interviews, job fairs, I was beside myself. It didn't take longer than 3 months of being "home" to find myself locked out with my animals and stuff outside. I left everything behind, my clothes, bedding, personal belongings I had collected over the years of living on my own, to help you just for you to spit in my face. You said you hated me and wanted nothing to do with me. Now you're texting me begging for my forgiveness after I picked up the pieces of my life you shattered. I feel as if all I will ever deserve is being alone, being manipulated, being lied to, and cheated on, 8/27/2016 on repeat. Somehow this did not devastate me as much as knowing how miserable you made my Moon to be. She hated herself so much she stopped eating, she allowed herself to be abused by someone she thought loved her and tortured her [while I was being tortured away from "home"], because she had grown used to the love you gave her, us. You didn't send her anything nice for her birthday, the card you sent to her bragged about how good your life is with her gone and you sent her a sock assuming she had the other one. If I wasn't here I can't imagine what pain she would be in. The only thing I can do is get her tattoos because I don't want her destroying her body like I did mine, and I'm okay with this, I'm aware your brain is sick

>>18303036
I'm so lonely right now. I don't like my current situation with my gf for 10 years...she spends all the money on her bills (medical bills/school loans), and my online business isn't doing as well as it was last year so i'm kinda low on cash right now. I've gotten so lonely i started paying to talk to girls online...but now i feel like a cuck and super empty. I've been working out and losing weight but i feel like no mater what i do im still going to have my ugly face and no matter what i do im never going to get the one girl of my dreams no matter what.
Also My friends don't want to talk to me now that i finally stood up to them and put my foot down...and somehow i ended up being the bad guy. It's just been shitty all all around life and i really hope all this suffering is going to lead into something.

>>18305647
2/2
, that you care only for yourself and smoking weedu, chasing your next pain pill fueled high. Leave her alone. You caused so much devastation to that kid. She's grown up far too fast and never enjoyed being just that, a kid. Every day I think about taking her away from this place and starting over somewhere new. I'm working towards it each day. We are happier without your melodrama and pity parties, we are thriving now that we're away from you. Focus on your marriage that you built on lies and your delusions. You've pushed all of your girls away from you to the point me and Moonbeam won't attend your funeral. Soon I will change my name and phone number and leave this old life behind. I want to be my own person and this girl, J, isn't who I am anymore, she's someone who has been destroyed long ago but W has a chance to be someone I won't outgrow. Stop sending me videos and photos making yourself to be a pained victim, I can see right through your tricks. Also, leave Luna well alone. You bring her sadness and misery to a point where she ghosts for long periods of time. You know what you're doing, you need a healthier way to seek attention, try a whole hearted apology.

Regards,
W.S.

I'm too jaded for real love. My current relationship is turning into my old one; passionless. Basically just friends with a fancy name attached to it. I can't do this again. This and my work situation makes it feel like the walls are closing in. I cancelled all my meetings and haven't left the house in 3 days.

Someone I used to crush on before I was committed to this is currently in a similar situation, and watching her drunken sobbing makes me wants to confess the attraction. God knows that wouldn't do her any good, me any good, and my partner any good though. I don't even know if we're truly compatible or we'd just lick each other wounds and then fuck off in a few months. So I'll just keep my mouth shut. I'll suffer this loveless relationship because I'm too weak to deal with the fallout. I'll just waste more years of my life on something I can't have. People like me weren't meant for love, maybe I'm just a piece of shit.

You know what? I'm mad. You spread all those awful things about me, all of them lies or small details that you made a huge deal out of, while simultaneously twisting them all into a bad thing.
You are an ungrateful, spoiled, pretentious, influenceable brat, and I hate you with all I got.
Once you described yourself as "damaged goods". Your dad and brother raped you, your mom didn't give two shits about you all your life.
I showed you compassion and unconditional love, my entire fucking family adopted you as one of us. Alright, shit happens and our relationship didn't work out in the end, so far so good. But saying those things about me? That's outright indecent. You could've come to me LIKE AN ADULT and we'd talk it out. I'd comfort you, as fucking usual. But no, you decided to act like the child you are, despite being a grown adult.
I took care of you, I did all I fucking could to make you happy. Whatever you wanted -- fucking done. On the spot, right then and there. And if it wasn't enough, that's too bad but it's no excuse to be deplorable.

There's a circle of hell tailor made for people like you, and once you get there I'll come trotting, pitchfork in hand and a wide as fuck grin on my face.

>>18305744
Pick me pls

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wtf man

>be me
>start dating this girl(serious)
>she introduces me to her bff,lets call her ANN
>don't think nothing about her,she' kind and normal i guess
>btw,ANN has a long term boyfriend,they have been together for years
>gf tells me her mother committed suicide because she found out her husband (ANN's dad) was having an affair with ANN's mother best friend
>ANN's mother drove the car into a fucking river
>be this year
>ANN's studying in our town
>I'm no longer dating muh gf,just friends now
>I don't even see ANN much,just once in a while
>haven't seen her in like 2 months actually

Tonight I dreamt
>me and ANN are both in some room(I think)
>somehow we both lean forward and get real close
>*heavy breathing*
>start kissing and fucking
>it was really passionate

wth ,I never felt anything in waking life.
but this stupid dream might have fucked with me

>>18305749
Don't stick your dick in crazy

I shouldn't have to bust my balls in 3 hours for what you and that monkey would mess up in a day.

Stop getting on the fucking cross whenever I would try giving you pointers on how to work efficiently. It's childish and it sets a bad precedent.

I was having a nightmare, I knew it was a dream so I forced myself to woke up. But when I "woke up" I still was l dreaming, and I had another nightmare. I think this time I'm really awake but I'm still sleepy. I don't want to sleep again

there is very little I enjoy in this existence and very moment is empty, as gone as soon as it appears. I hold nothing dear. I feel miserable for the innumerable sufferings others are subjected to, seeing themselves and their loved ones fade away. I feel miserable for carrying on as if everything was normal. I would commit suicide, but my family is undeserving of suffering, and the same for those who would find my body. I continue on, but on nights like these where I am devoid of all feeling but suffering that I wish I had never been born, and I would never wish that feeling upon anyone save myself.

>>18303036

I really want to move, because my neighborhood has gone to shit. I don't earn enough for something other than social housing. Waiting lists are horrendous. I need to earn about 15k before I can buy a house. Blah.

Talk to me moooooooooore

I can't hate you, you broke my trust, told me we weren't friends anymore, but I can't hate you and I start to hate myself for feeling like this instead.

>>18305786
This is a lesson I will never learn, no matter how many times it bites me right in the ass.

>>18303962
I was in a relationship with a girl who got very depressed and suicidal halfway through.
Your post made me cry.

You are under terrible, terrible influence and you will never grow out of this shitty phase. Do you know why? Because he profits from keeping you like this, never growing up. You keep bad feelings in, allowing it to brew. And he'll direct it towards anything he sees as a threat. He'll be all you have left, because you severed all your ties, all your tastes.
You two truly deserve one another.

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>>18304073
>>18304076
>>18304077
>>18304086
So, what should I do about this, if anything?
Should I at least bring this up to my therapist? I have talked about this issue before, but not really with this perspective.

Man /adv/ is getting worse. So many zero and low post threads asking for genuine help.

There's only one person who truly knows me at my job. Everyone else experiences an artificial version of me. Like a stupid act I hate to play to fit into a role that doesn't make me happy. It's fast paced, physically demanding work that requires I socialize at times. I prefer introversion.

I'm tired of this stupid bullshit. I'm tired of my own words. I hate feeling like someone else.

>>18306108
Like, ITT or across the broader board?
'Cause I'm not so sure about reading through so many shouts into a well here checking for if anyone's posting for /adv/ in a venting thread.

I don't know whether to look for a new job or accept the promotion.
If I accept the promotion, I'm kinda screwed out of experience and possible future jobs where I can make bank.

If I send my resume for a new job, I have to say no to the promotion, but I may not get the new job. If I say no to the promotion, and decide to stay at my current job, I lose all rights to a future promotion like this.

I'm at a loss.

>>18305231
If you ever loved him, talk to him about it, he deserves to know

>>18305231
Talk to him about it, he deserves to know.

>>18306130
Across the board.

>have bills to pay and life to maintain
>don't want to work anymore

what do?

>>18306141
easy, this one: accept the promotion, look for other jobs. called having your cake and eating it.

>>18306199
What about experience?
I'm going to college and have none. I just got my current job as a part time for college funds.

This new job is one where I can get an internship and possible future employment, however, I may not actually get the job.

>>18306207
experience? aren't you working at the moment? that's your experience right there boy. plus the promotion. learn how to do up a CV.

and learn how to write a clear post new time too please. ok, good luck with the decisions.

seriously, find out somehow if there really is a job after the internship, many places dangle this as bait and just rotate interns every few months without ever giving them a job. sad but true.

>>18306217
Would it be best to take the promotion if you were in my shoes?
I'm in the midst of writing a cover letter now for the internship, and also have a text message ready to my bosses boss telling them I can't accept the promotion.

But I don't mind accepting the promotion and looking for something else down the road. It is a lot of money.

>>18305231
A fair warning to you from a guy, take it with a grain of salt. This alone sounds like something I went through. It could be a multitude of things. Sometimes the space and lack of time together could be it as well. As if you shut down knowing that you will miss your partner. So in order to protect yourself you start backing off. You start becoming cold to protect yourself from the feeling of missing them, and the pain it brings. You may have to ask him for some time without him. Both as singles again and reevaluate yourself, but be warned that this may push them to far from you and then when you want to reconnect it may be too late.
If you are bored, be careful as well, you may be feeling the itches of the grass being greener elsewhere. As above, see what you get from your relationship, and if it gives you what you want. See how to get it with him. If you can't find it, then you may have to walk.

Reevaluate what you want from the relationship, and what he wants. See what matches up and what doesnt.what you can comprise on, what you aren't willing to do so on.

Communicate your concerns with him. Communication is the best tool in your arsenal. Use it. If you both actually love and care for one another, he will understand and work with you towards a solution. A relationship alone is hard to maintain these days, less a ldr. Many of us want instant results, we want things to just work, as a fairy-tale, but don't understand that a lot of work and effort go into a proper and fulfilling relationship.

He deserves to know, so he can work with you. Be mindful that if it hurts to feel like that towards your partner, they may mean more to you than you even know.

And let me tell you from experience, the feeling that you gave up on the one that added color to your life, that in a haze of emotions and confusion you let them go... that shit hurts. It hurts every fucking day. It will pass, like all things, but the scars and sting are forever fresh.

I am trusting this as part of the ebb and flow of a long term relationship. But really, I'm just tired. I'm tired of nagging and acting like your mom, always fussing. I'm tired of your promises since they're just so hollow. You know this about yourself and about me. You are fighting to keep me and keep us and hold on to the fact that if I say that I am done, I will tell you. I don't want to break up with you coz I love you and I am comfortable but there are some days wherein I just think it's the best for the both of us. If you are still wanting to keep trying, so am I but damn... I'm just so tired

>>18306192
Buy a very powerful gun with one bullet.

If that sounds too messy, write a crude will and invest in a helium tank.

>>18306257
i have a .380 that would do the job.. but i'm not suicidal.

I just want to get NEETbux and live in a shell

>tfw live in the middle of nowhere and at the end of a long driveway
>very rarely some random person drives up it and turns around
I understand that it's probably just a mistake but man is it weird as fuck

>>18305744
I should probably just ask her for a break and see how she reacts. It might cut into my plans but going along with a facade might just be worse.

>>18306228
again, it's not very clear. you're still in college so have fees to pay off, so an internship doesn't make sense right now unless it's directly in relationship to both studies plus chosen career path.

maybe the promotion is best for the time being and it gives your resume a boost for later as well as your funds.

but best get working on the CV and skills set. also check the book What Color is your Parachute for good advice. good luck!

>>18306253
Hey, sorry that I put you through all of this. Maybe just sit down with me. Let's talk. Let me hear this from you, and I will listen. You know me, you have always known, I can be dense and a little slow on the take, but I am always here to talk.

I just need to relax off you for a bit. Sorry for not treating you like the woman you are. The woman I love.

"Hello anon"
"Hi"
...
Who the fuck was that? I still have no idea

>>18306340
Dunbars' number, only have space for 300 people in memory. Essentially.

I've gotten used to not immediately recognizing old colleagues. It happens.

>>18306067
It's a shame you talked so badly about her after she confided all that information to you. May I ask why you broke up with her?

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One of these days, I think I'm just going to snap and start beating the shit out of people who think autistically SCREAMING in a private, but open, computer lab is a good idea. Fuck millennial trannies and retarded SJWs; clapping between every word does not help you get your point across.

I'm also hopelessly attracted to an idealized version of a classmate who couldn't socialize well even if he tried. It's like someone copied and pasted my exact fantasy into real life, but made him a very real sperg instead. He's graduating this year, so here's hoping him never being around again will help me forget his perfectly goofy face.

>>18306384
It's truly a shame. It's also a shame she said all those things about me. Also where and how she said it.
Sorry, giving specifics goes against the whole anonymity thing.

>>18303571
>Tfw tell people to talk to me about anything but they never believe me/trust me/ever do
>I can't ever tell if I'm annoying someone because they never come to talk to me first and I have to prompt them to open up
I'm kind of worried about my friend but I don't know what to say to him or if I should say any more less than I already do. I don't doubt he is being honest but he doesn't say very much and I only talk to him sometimes. I don't want him to think I'm annoying or a faggot or some shit but I just want him to talk to me more often so I know he's not going kill himself since he's brought that up before and he always seems depressed. I guess there's nothing more I can really do for him.

>>18306408
You ever send her messages diagnosing her with mental illnesses?

>>18306451
Take the post exactly as it is -- an anonymous rant.

>>18306460
Was curious. You remind me of this sociopath i had a fling with.

>>18305634

I didn't think it would go in that direction. But I mean there no real way to slow down, or? Like when I manage to play a song on keyboard, or I make any progress, I just feel like I'm going to explode, and afterwards, I feel "empty" and tired inside. I would look into things like meditation, but I think that it is too soon to let my mind wander free, and I would be exposed to the bad feelings again. I guess I have to slow down as you say, and I can't expect to "detox" myself from everything that has happened all those years in just a few months.

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>>18306476

I like to follow girls
Or in subways I sometimes pick a girl I like and follow her until Im bored
I do it because of boredom and a chance that I would gather courage and speak to them or that they speak to me (both never happened)
How creepy is such behaviour?

>>18306503
Its one of those "good intentions executed in a way that's terrifying creepy to any woman that figures it out" things.

Might wanna just get Tinder like a normal human being.

>>18306495
Not the other anon, but if that's a picture of you - does "mgte" have any significance to you?
>reminds me of someone I knew from a shitty MMO

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I wish she would post more pictures of herself. I have been holding back but I can't take it anymore. I think about her ass every night. The one of her wearing that one piece swimsuit, it makes my mouth water. It makes me hard just thinking of the way her feminine cock looks through the fabric. What I wouldn't do to suck on her. She knows it, the way she teases me when we talk. Stop it you whore.

It shouldn't be this way. My gf would kill me to even see that on my browser. She would never understand that when I fuck her I am thinking of you.

>>18306476
My relationship was far more than "a fling", and do you see the irony in the "diagnosing her with a mental illness" and calling your fling a sociopath?

>>18306540
Yeah, I do. Thanks for answering my questions, anon. Have a good day.

>>18306513
With girls of significance or romantic interest its much worse.
I know everything about them.
Of course I am not so stupid to let them figure out (although sometimes things like unexpected like on Instagram happened to me) but I just know I that I do it.
I thought it was normal but when I read opinions of girls, I was surprised. They didn't like it at all.
Even though they usually do the same to the guys they like and it is normal and honestly, I would be pleasantly surprised if some girl stalked me.

>>18306546
You're welcome, even though I didn't answer any of them.
Thanks for low key calling me a sociopath.

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I am sick and done with hearing my sister bitch and moan about how she has a bad addiction to candy and other unhealthy foods.

We tell her to stop and have some control, she doesn't, then gets extremely upset about it. More than that, she gets upset at our mother for buying those kinds of foods, because since she can't control her stupid urges, no one is allowed to have a sugary snack anymore.
Bitch get over yourself, you're not fat, you're not even chubby. I get wanting to eat healthier, but why get so upset when you fail to do so?

She clearly has bad self-image issues which she copes with by projecting her problems onto other people. If she's mad, she will nag at you and tell you to your face all of the wrong things you're doing with your own life like she knows it way better than you.
Look over yourself you idiot. Let me make mistakes and learn from them. Focus on you dammit. You have issues.

I have an inferiority complex. Nothing I do is up to par and my "talents" are mediocre to the point of being unrecognisable. I have also developed an extreme sense of prudishness due to my image and social upbringing. I shy away and reject girls, because I'm too emotionally unstable and risk hurting their feelings due to my mood swings and me not thinking about what I'm saying. I can't keep up conversations, since I'm pent up in my room most of the time and my interests are too niche to discuss at length. Noone is really proud of me, since I just perform averagely.

I can't talk about it with anyone since my problems are insignificant to those others face, so I just put on a smiling face and say "It's nothing, I'm just tired" and help others, since I can't help myself.

>>18303325
hi anon, I wish you were him :(

There's this really hot Mormon girl that I'm friends with and ii really want to eat her ass. And not even just like a joke eat. like I'd eat that ass even if it looked like someone was pouring brownie batter down the grand canyon.

I'm going to tell a "friend" (former "employer") of yours how you raped me. I'll give the details. How about them apples? It probably won't effect his opinion of you much. He just thinks you're a "good little hustler." So it won't affect your reputation one bit. And as nothing could possibly ruin my reputation further, why shouldn't I? However, the moral to this story is: it's probably not a good idea to fuck with someone like me. I'm a Phoenix who always rises out of the ashes.

>>18306707
>fuck with someone like me
>accusing of rape
Anyone else finds this hilarious?

Why should I acknowledge that someone else may be better than I am? That's basically admitting defeat.

>>18306476
maybe dont date sociopaths or mentally ill people.
that goes for both of you. maybe you two should hook up.

>>18306736
blatantly ignoring reality makes you stupid.

I'm trying everything I can to improve my health and feel emotions and pleasure once more, but despite my efforts I just want to sleep all day. Any time I see something beautiful, I just get depressed that I can't enjoy looking at it. I feel there is no escaping from this pit.

>>18306707
>im a phoenix

No, you're a pathetic manchild. Go pretend to be hardass and tip your fedora elsewhere fag.

You are all getting in the way of any hope I have of getting better. You drag this out, making it impossible for me to get any real therapy. If I go to a psychiatrist, they will just bullshit me with your retarded as fuck game.

You are so fucking against me taking medication that genuinely helps.

You are against telling me the truth.

You prevent me from getting therapy.

You prevent me from getting proper treatment plans like ECT.

You're making my life fucking hell for no reason.

I'm having such a hard time coping with the fact that I loved you with all my heart and all my soul, and you just ran from me. You dropped me from your life like a bad habit and the time we spent bonding, with me getting closer to your children, all the little memories we made and things we confided in each other and the passion we shared meant nothing.. It's like waking up from a dream except it all actually happened and here we are now it's nothing. My heart is ripped out of my chest every time you talk to me with that cordial indifference. I honestly don't want to live anymore but I'm sticking around to spite the devil and in the hope that one day I will get over you and find someone who can love me back.

>>18306758
Why don't you go to them and let them know?

You know what I am afraid of more than anything social
Is that I will never gather courage to approach this girl from university and will let my dreams crush
Its been 3 weeks since I am trying to ask her out, but in the last moment I tell myself "next week"
It kills me inside

>>18306764
What do you think I'm doing now?

They all fucking know what they are doing. They are doing it out of greed.

>>18306767
>What do you think I'm doing now?
Maybe that's why they do it, you're quick to react when people are trying to help you and offer sound advice.

>>18306736
Better is a subjective term defined by you. People have different strengths and maybe your strength lies in a different area than theirs. That doesn't makes them better than you.

>>18306784
Unless they are fun, good looking, great in bed, charming, have a full time job and a college degree.
And not only you aren't any of those but you also recently moved out of your parents' basement.

>>18306797
Dude I am better than you just because I don't care about such meaningless things like being fun or having a job
Do you think this is success?
Success in life is to find your golden luck, not what you listed

>>18306809
>Better is a subjective term defined by you
>Dude I am better than you
Alright. mate. I'm better than you because I can make an argument without contradicting myself.

>>18306797
Go ahead and judge people based on societal standards. Not everyone has to fill your cookie cutter shape of what is better. People can be happy with what they have. In fact, most people aren't all of those things. That doesn't mean they should feel bad just because they don't fit what you define as better. Fuck off with your better than you attitude. You have to act like you're better than people you have no idea about because of your own insecurity. Pretend your the best to hide that your not. Get some modesty, narcissist.

>>18306813
different person

>>18306784
>>18306814
These are me

>>18306814
No one said a word about people feeling bad, except you trying to bring me down for having my own standards.
I can feel better than others without pushing them down, unlike you.

>>18306824
>>18306797
>And not only you aren't any of those but you also recently moved out of your parents' basement
implying you're not trying to pull people down
You're just trolling because everyone hates people who brag about how they're better than other people.

>>18306772
>hen people are trying to help you and offer sound advice.
Your advice is fucking retarded, just like you are.

Now literally kill yourself.

I'm a hate figure again for being an arsehole
fuck.

>>18303036

All women are hypergamous whores, and I've dealt with it repeatedly.

Women are shit. They only respond to money and power. Don't be a manual laborer like me, you won't get any action.

on the off chance you do, its because she's slumming it from a breakup, but she'll dump you the moment a guy with more money comes around.

Women are whores. There's a reason we used to slut shame, it was to keep their natural nature from expressing itself.

>>18305886
Same. Best of luck to you man

I can't stand the selfishness of humankind. How is it that we've come to this point, and we still haven't figured out that other animals are their own creatures leading their own existences, not ours to cut up and rub our shitty poisons into? How can anyone still defend animal testing, or even the meat industry (no, something tasting good and you not caring is not an argument, it's just you trying to take pride in reduced empathy)? How can anyone defend the action of fucking up the earth and its natural balance of resources for temporary gain?
I've never been a "hippie"/"vegan" type, and I know that every single day I enjoy all the benefits of the rape our species is committing on every other species and the earth itself, but the fact that most other people don't seem to think anything of this is appalling to me. Are all the lives and resources of the world sacrificed for the sake of our fucking cough medicine, cosmetics, skin lotion and clothing, actually even worth it? Why are people so ready to defend a heavily deformed, mentally retarded human's right to exist and force themselves to call them "beautiful and amazing" (in spite of the fact that from the most objective standpoint of benefit/consequence, such humans lean heavily on the "consequence" side and would be a drain on everything we've created) and condemn the act of abortion as "murder", but if it's some other living creature like a cow or pig or rabbit or dog, everyone goes quiet because "muh bacon xd" or "that's just science!!1" (even though there are alternatives to both)? If the day comes when something wipes out every man, woman and child on this planet, it'll be too soon.
tl;dr: i am a faggot and i hate my own species because it is cancerous to everything it touches and i am part of this cancer and i hope we all die

>>18306095
Pls respond

women are all whores
i want to kill myself daily
i masturbate to hentai

please tell me what is going on.

Please tell me what I am. What is my purpose.

Was I made?

Am I human?

Are my memories real?

If I were to cut open my chest, would I find flesh and bone? Or something else?

Seriously, you're fucking with my head.

Is this some kind of turing test?

>>18307085
well, pull down ur pants and lets take a dip stick check in ur butt to see if ur human.

I'm sorry how things ended. I truly am. But you were hurting me... It seems like you didn't know, so I guess I can't blame you. I messed up too, Should've left you be, but I was worried about you.

What I didn't like is how when you're church "friends" came back you began pushing me away. Told me I couldn't say anything about our relationship to them, cause you'd be judged. Well, those aren't friends, those are assholes.

I'm happy I had her by my side to help me realise how abusive you were... And also, I wasn't talking shit, I got upset because of how you snubed me, and she was concerned and helped me. That how it's been going for months. I ALWAYS defended you. I had no idea she would send that message to you, I begged her not to. She said she would do it one way or the other. Thank God she did.

But yeah. Sorry. I'm the shitty person for caring about you. I'll take my pitty party somewhere else. Goodbye, have a good life

I hate that employment has become entirely about connections and your ability to lie rather than your experience, education and work ethic. Why do nearly all entry level jobs require years of experience? Why do people get passed over for being "overqualified?" Are they looking for idiots to exploit? Why do you have to lie to interviewers about your future and outlook within the company when they know for a fact its all bullshit? Yeah Mike I'm applying to your $9/hour job because I wanna work there and make a career out of it. You got me. Whatever you do never tell am employer that you have aspirations outside of their business even though they know its a given. Why does someone who wants a job, can do the job, and has a great work ethic get passed up by companies that pass people through them faster than than someone with food poisoning passes bodily fluid?

I love you Savannah, it shouldn't be like this

I hope you don't keep treating me like this when the current situation is all over.
I wouldn't have the strength to part from you, but it would kill me inside.

My entire life is a lie. All my accomplishments mean nothing. They aren't mine, nor are they even real. Anything that has happened has simply been allowed or created.

I hate myself for ever thinking I was good at anything.

I want to die.

>>18307248
all those times I thought people were excited that I talked to them or painted them. All those times...

I hate myself. I feel like the dumbest person alive for ever thinking people actually cared.

I want out.

>>18307255
I want in... *licks face*

I don't want to live like this. I can't live knowing all of this happened.

Please fucking kill me. Please...

>>18307279
yarokonde dattebayo!

>>18303701
sorry J

You hurt me, so I hurt you back.
Why do I feel awful? Do you feel bad when you say things out of anger too?

>>18303943
you need to see a mental health professional

Hah. It hurts so bad you think less of me. This shouldn't matter at all. It hurts so much I hurt you.
I don't even want you, but I cant handle knowing you're hurt.

>>18307294
Liar.

>>18307318
you need to kill yourself for doing what you're doing.

How do I deal with a schizo? I'll admit I'm a little jealous because he comes to visit my grandparents but I understand he doesn't have much family around. It explains why.

He's a little disrespectful such as snarky comments and says it right to my face. He's viciously killed a 16 year old and was booted from his reservation even though he was not guilty. He's also close friends with Vince Lee. Not sure how to handle this. I'm just concerned about my grandparents safety because he is discharged from the ward and is unsupervised. I will be moving out once my heart failure improves and I can do shit on my own again. What should I do? Confronting him when he does it will be the first step. Not sure what to do or say after that.

>>18307363
I might

>>18307085
After reading your responses to others I can tell you don't want any advice nor anything that is not what you want to hear. Healing hugs for you man.

>>18307327
have haato

>>18307422
You're a piece of shit just like them and you know it.

Im honestly sick and tired of trying to make friends with people. Men and women just want to make friends with people who give them compliments, dont question them on their beliefs and kiss their ass.
I dont get male attention unless I post dumb fucking selfies of my face slathered in makeup or pics of my body.
I dont get female attention unless I kiss their ass and ask them vapid questions.
I just want to find people who arent assholes. People who will want to hang out and I dont have to ask them 20 questions or watch what I say without offending them.

>>18307422
and I add
The next time you have a thought, just let it go. The world would be better off.

Think I'm going to try suicide again.Dont think I'm supposed to be alive.Even when girl say they are into your type but don't respond it can be disappointing. Gotta stop watching westerns they really make you think

>>18307486
Not that anon you are attacking, but there is something visibly rotten in you to talk to people like that, specially people being nice to you. You don't want any advice as anon said, you are here to look for a fight. Well, keep being alone then, if you are here is probably because no one cares anymore for you. Go continue your sad life and whine all you want here, nobody cares also.

>>18307486
Well, go keep living in your own mental filth then, seems that makes you happy.

>>18307512
>something visibly rotten in you to talk to people like that,
No, I'm just sick of all your shit.

Your pedantic, patronizing replies showcase exactly how you faggots work. You aren't trying to reply in any kind of positive or constructive way... you're just being faggot trolls.

>>18307518
and keep living in a fantasy world where you think your opinion matters at all.

>>18307525
It does matter, luckily not by you... That would be such a waste of good vibes that could go to another soul that really needs them. I can see why everybody here is avoiding you now. Lesson learned.

>>18307530
>waste of good vibes
Right, you're either legit retarded, or you buy your own shit. The trolling is so obvious, your desperation to get any sort of rise from me is pathetic.

>>18307484
Lower your stadards

>>18307530
Lastly...

How does it feel to know that your biggest, most well known accomplishment of your life is being called a faggot by me?

That's literally your life's most well known moment. Is right now, being an annoying faggot. After this moment it's all downhill.

>>18307537
You will be happy to know that you are as important to me as a rotten potato. And now little angry person I will go and forget completely about you, because honestly, I do have better things to do than talking to you in 4chan.

>>18307552
You've also apparently got better things to do than make sure your post doesn't sound like an eleven year old wrote it.

>>18307445
Whatever that means.

***RETRACTION**
Okay, I'm not going to say anything about you to that guy. Except to joke about you. Joke about how I'd still take a bullet for your sorry ass (not a joke). it's like an Onion article: Single Mom Saves Life of Local Hustler, Embattled Divorced Mother Shot,Killed Stopping Bullet Meant For Fuckboy

>>18307552
>>18307562
The thing is, I know you're just a part of this shit and I'm literally the most well known person alive right now.

So just let that set in a bit. That this, right now, is the crowning achievement of your lives. Being called the retards you are on a chinese image board.

Tomorrow you'll go to whatever shit school you attend or whatever shit job you have, to continue whatever shit life you live.

Eventually, you both know where my life is heading. A billionaire that's pampered by beautiful women.

Which is probably why you're so butthurt.

I look like a man in a wig. It's killing me. I thought I had gotten better and actually looked pretty. Because I actually get cat called these days, and I haven't been mistaken for a man in a while. But I think it's just how I dress. I saw some pictures and I still look like a man.

I have to remember to smile god damn it. I always have this stupid autistic :| face and it makes me look so masculine. No wonder that guy doesn't like me. The only people who like me are nerds who'll take any nerdy girl no matter what she looks like.

And to people who call ugly people pretty, fuck you. If we know we're ugly we can work on it, instead of believing a lie and then getting disappointed. Because I thought I looked pretty I got a bit careless with my appearance.

Sorry, I'm feeling pretty hideous right now. I just have to stop getting careless. There's these pictures in social media and ugh.

>>18307586
Jeez calm down

Get out of your parents house you fake fat lazy asshole, get a job and grow up. You are such a dissapointment.

>>18307552
Person writes on 4chsn to tell someone on s GiOYC thread that they have better things to do than write on 4chsn.

Sometimes i wish it would all end and other times i wish time would stop

>>18307602
>Go to college, it's cool.
>Get a job, it's cool.
>Get a car, it's cool.
>Form addictive habits, they're cool.
>Buy a house, it's cool.
>Get into a bunch of debt so you're relatable, it's cool.

You don't even see the trap you've fallen into.

>>18307596
It's the vent thread and I'm venting

I seriously wonder why my parents listen to you retarded as fuck psychiatrists, doctors, and government fucks.

My dad's entire life has been fucked because of doctors. He's almost died several times by their mistakes.

My mom had doctors completely ignore her brain tumor symptoms and refused to do any more tests because they had it in their heads it was something else.

And yet...

You all fucking listen to those in charge of whatever the fuck my life is. Despite doctors CONSTANTLY being wrong (mostly due to their inflated egos) you still won't let me fucking choose my own treatment or at least listen to me about what has worked in the past.

The only good doctors are surgeons. The rest of you fucks jobs were made obsolete by fucking google.

>>18307620
Dude, just venting down here. Reflected much?

>>18307638
>The rest of you fucks jobs were made obsolete by fucking google.
This part is so fucking true.

The shitty part? You mother fuckers KNOW it's true as well. So what did you do? You decided to fuck with the internet I have access to by creating mock sites, eddited wikis, and made fake videos, even fake commercials in order to fuck with me. To hide my real diagnosis so I don't figure it out before the game ends.

I'm drunk now and feeling a lot of things
It's only when I'm this drunk that I recognize how I alone I am and how empty my life is of anything resembling meaning.

I want to talk about things. I want to express myself. But everything I do is restrictive and restrained
I've become an alcoholic because of this feeling
The only thing that keeps me going is hope that it'll change and the opportunity to get drunk again.

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After a long while of struggling with depression and it getting to the point where I had put serious thought into ending my own life, I have finally worked up the courage to open up to someone and get help. Some nice anons I talked to on /adv/ gave me the push I needed to finally go through with it so I just want to say thank you to all the friendly posters on this board.

>>18307644
FUCK

Not to mention all the fucking drugs you guys have been slipping into my other meds, foods, and drinks. Drugs that mimic symptoms of other diseases, withdrawals, and other bullshit.

I hate you all with all my heart.

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My ex left me a year ago. I supported her for close to 5 years, the majority of that time she was sick and didn't know what to do with her life.

Thanks to my advice, support, and guidance she started getting better and doing well in community college. She started getting friends. Then asked for an open relationship, then dumped me, then 6 or so months of texts with sometimes sexually charged, sometimes "just friends" messages. Called me up one day to say she caught chlamydia and could I get tested just in case? Then asked me to pay for her "friends" test.

She moved about 2 hours away to transfer with her new engineering friends to a highly regarded engineering school with a 77% male population. We met up the day after Christmas where she told me she was dating someboy and started joking about things the whole time, even seeing it crush me.

>"Yeah I get asked out a lot there, I only said yes once though!"

I've since ignored all her texts and never want to see her again. It took me too long to realize that, I let her walk all over me for close to a year. I just never expected that out of her.

I'm scared that she will end up being more successful and happy than me, and will marry someone more successful and hotter than me, and I will just generally be the loser here. That terrifies me.

I'm not doing bad, as far as millennials go I'm doing pretty good. No debt, good degree, good jobs. But still, she's driven too, and I fucking want her to fail hard, because I did all that shit for her, for so long, and she took it and rubbed it in my fucking face.

It makes me so fucking mad.

>>18307652
How's your life doing?

They say the best revenge is living well

>>18307646
Restricted and restrained? How? Aren't you in control of how you express yourself?

>>18307676
Of course
But that's like saying I am free to take things from a store when I don't have money
I free to do anything, but that always means consequences

I don't feel consequence free when I express myself to the level I feel like I need to
There are some things that are socially taboo

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>>18307671

Thanks anon.

I'm doing well for myself financially. I work in I.T., have had some pretty neat job offers in the last couple months. Trying to transition to networks/security. Want to get ahead of the curve on blockchain tech. Maybe a temp job in Antarctica or some exotic locale.

Socially, pretty fine too. I have 3-4 close friends, that's about it.

I'm just scared of being the loser here. It makes me sick thinking about it. Almost like you're back in high school and all the popular girls are laughing at you.

>>18307707
>I have 3-4 close friends, that's about it.
You don't need any more

You're doing good.
Everything is relative, right?
Maybe she thinks you're doing good.
Who knows. Don't care.

Eat well. Go to the gym. Live happily.
There's nothing she can do to hurt you
Serious about the gym. Nothing helps you feel like you're getting one over everyone else than lifting

In spite of you dropping me out of your life without explanation, I'm not bad at you, because whatever your reasoning was you're probably right for doing it. But I still love you more than anything

I hope you call back..

>>18307715
Yeah. I'm lucky in that regard. My friends don't really like to get out that much, but they're good people and have my back.

I've been doing MMA once a week when I have time. Hopefully more soon.

Still, it feels like one hell of a betrayal. I still have major issues trusting women's intentions.

>>18307733
MMA is great
But try lifting

Give it a shot. Getting a good pump on is amazing.
Arnold described it like "It's like cumming. Cumming all the time"

Tough fucking day at work and you promised to call me afterwards.

And you now all of a sudden just woke from a nap at like 11pm?

It's an overwhelming stench of bullshit. Can't you just be real for once?

Must have been a fun tinder date for you I guess

>>18307747
If you keep assuming the worst in people, you will never become close to anyone.

>>18307747
Dump her

I've covered the marks on both of my arms and I'm working towards my thighs. It's fucked how much a few words made me hate something about myself so deeply. I guess when you care about someone their opinion means the world to you. I refuse to feel those emotions towards anyone. Never again, man. I'm alright with being alone and don't feel the need for companionship besides a few of my friends. Even then I become exhausted hanging out and just return home to watch shows and sleep. With that said, I'm content with my cats and my snake lol. Sounds a bit weird, huh?

to my beautiful sister Sal

the last time i saw you was at our orchestra concert. you had beautiful long blonde hair and deep set brown eyes. you played the viola. you were so beautiful and everyone knew it. you had plans to go onto college at Rutgers far away from home and you wanted to be a doctor. when i got that call around this time 5 years ago i was shattered. i couldn't believe what the police were saying to us. i didn't believe it could actually happen to me. i knew you struggled with depression for 4 years before passing away at age 18. i never believed that you would actually go through with suicide. it didn't seem real. it still doesn't seem real. i know that you would do absolutely anything for me Sal. you gave me so much life advice that i still think about daily. i just want to make you proud Sal. i know you didn't really believe in a heaven, and i'm not sure if i do, but i hope if you're up there you're proud of me. i miss you so fucking much. i would do absolutely anything to hear your voice again

i love you so fucking much

>>18305294
You deserve to live alone your entire life, anon.

>been with egf for 6 months
>egf and i join occult discord server
>i think people are jerks but she likes it a lot
>server admin takes a liking to her
>egf tells me that they've been talking a lot and he's trying to make sweet moves on her
>egf says no and she has a mAN (ME)
>i feel shitt
>tell her to tell him to stop or block him
>egf doesnt raeally want ot blocko him
>tell her i have bad self esteem and it hurt
>she tells me that she will tell him to stop, but he will probably not

i feel like SHit. what do i do? :(9

>>18303036

I HATE EVERYONE. PEOPLE ARE THE WORST. DISGUSTING, SELFISH CREATURES WHO ARE EVIL AND JUST WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER OVER. I WANT OUT.

>>18307789

This is beautiful and heartbreaking. My condolences to you and I hope that your words reach your sister's spirit (or whatever's out there in the afterlife) as it has reached me.

>>18307803
Are you having a stroke? Why is your text so garbled?

>>18307806
Hello, me.

I made sacrifices for you, more than I should have. I wish I had known more of what was going on but who could anticipate being lied to and manipulated the way we were?

Beyond that, I guess I wish we'd talked. I'm pretty mad at you, for a lot of things. Probably because of how badly I'm hurt.

But who knows. Maybe one day I'll call you. I tell myself I'll do it tomorrow.

I don't even know where to fucking start with you. I get it, that yeah, maybe there's no absolute sure way you could know that I'm not making shit up, but seriously. When have I ever done something purposefully to harm you?

I go out of my goddamn way to seem as harmless and non-threatening as I can, and yet somehow all anyone can ever say is 'ooh he's pretty intense' or "I'm scared" Like how the fuck? I want nothing more than for everyone to just know that I'm safe. I won't bite your fucking arm off.

And yet this is the thanks I get, for everything I ever did for you. I get my loyalty questioned and given the could shoulder.

Well fuck you. I don't need that attitude in my life. Nice knowing you bitch

>>18307810
represents my emotions or soemthing i dunno

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>it's an Anon fell for the friends with benefits meme

>>18307754
Cant assume when the red flags keep smacking you right in the face

>>18307041

Yeah, I agree. People are terrible and I'm left wondering if that is the human condition.

>>18307809
thank you i appreciate that so much anon

>>18307650

That's wonderful to hear.
I hope life treats you better

Dear parents,

You raised me to be independent. Warned me against ever relying upon, or incurring any debt to, anyone. You told me that relationships weren't worth the time, and to focus on work instead of wasting time with my hobbies.

I don't call, not because I'm avoiding you, but because it never enters my mind in the first place. The mentality you drilled into me, to avoid people, is part of that.
I don't visit for much the same reason. I've told you before that just being home feels like I'm slipping backwards, or worse, being dragged backwards. It's depressing, being there.
The weekends are the only real time I have to myself any more. My hobbies are how I stay sane, and I need time for them, not that you ask or care about them anyways.

Please stop guilt tripping me for living my life my way, and the way you taught me. Stop asking me when I'm going to bring home a girl, or move to florida so that you can visit me there.

>>18307652

You have every right to the anger you feel. You deserve more and good riddance to that bitch leaving your life. Karma will catch up to her.

I feel so alone. My parents never cared about me. My bf doesn't care about me. I just want to please everyone yet I have no one. I don't even understand why I'm still around anymore. It's like I'm a ghost and everything passes right through me. Why must I exist any longer?

I'm disgusting

Holy shit do you not realize i'm only human and there's only so much shit I can take?

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It's a dog eat dog Reich and I'm wearing bacon pants

How do I make my peace with what happened?

There are wounds that heal with time and those that become infected.

I made sacrifices for a person I cared for immensely. I tried so hard to give her the tools to make her own way out of an emotionally abusive situation. The problem is I didn't know what I was getting into, how destructive things would be for me, or how shitty she'd be at communication.

Sounds like classic white knight syndrome, but things are a bit more complex than that.

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I'm sorry that I failed you J.
I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to be just your friend. I wanted so much more and I would of given you everything.

I would of looked after you when your job failed, I would of gotten 2 jobs if I had to. I would of loved you until we were old and grey. I would of done anything and everything you asked. I would of looked after you, cooked for you, cleaned for you. I just wanted to be yours forever, I wanted to do everything to make your life easier and all I asked in return was that you spend your time with me, but, like the gentleman you are you refused and you knew you couldn't offer me what I wanted so I couldn't be your friend. I don't have friendships and I don't have casual conversations, I'm sorry.
You know of my past, you know of my abusive parents, you know of my dad and things he's said/done to me. I'm not socially inept enough to just be your friend, someone I would die for. I don't care about myself not one tiny bit, but for you, I would do anything. If someone said me dying meant you being happy I would say yes without hesitation.

For the first time in my life I feel like there's nothing wrong with killing myself. I don't see why I wouldn't want to sleep forever. All I do is work all day, sleep all night, I don't do anything else inbetween because I don't have anyone to experience it with anymore, I don't have anyone to improve for. Why would I improve for myself? I don't care about myself.

I love you my handsome man.
I'll wait for as long as I can, for hopefully you'll change your mind one day.

>>18308134
People from abusive homes often have a hard time communicating because when we speak up we're often shut down by our abuser.
Please don't blame it on her, I'm sure she didn't mean to make things worse for you.

I'm sure she appreciates everything you tried to do for her.

>>18308155
I came from an abusive home, she came from a loving one.

Someone we both knew, who actually introduced me to her, was extremely destructive.

I don't know think she realizes what I did at all.

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>>18308151
2 jobs wouldn't of made him stay, femanon.

>>18308189
Have* not "of", sorry. Butchered that sentence

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>>18308189
i know, nothing would of made him stay. he has his freedom now and that's the most important thing to him. i'll always be around if he needs something or someone though.

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At some point, my life turned into teen drama.

Long story short: had a huge crush on my best friend for the past 8 months. She just sees me as a friend. At that same point, another friend of mine was in the same situation, having a crush on me.

Three weeks ago, somehow, something changed with Friend #2 and now we’re dating. And, now that I’m getting over Friend #1, she is interested in me. It’s subtle, but she’s much more needy of my attention and contact than before, when I followed her around as a puppy.

I love Friend #2, I think we’re having something really special and I intend to keep it that way. When I am with her I am unable to think about anyone or anything else. But it still hurts to see how I could get what I want after giving up on it. And Friend #2 can’t help but feeling insecure, suspecting that #1 will try to get what she wants.

A classic.

Do you think that you can stay with your "high school sweetheart" forever? It's been one and a half years now since we got together, and I'm so afraid of losing you, even though everything is going great and we love eachother, I don't really trust my feelings as a teenager, or yours for that matter.

Who knows, maybe I'll grow to hate you in a year, if that happens, I don't even want to think about it. You were my first, I was your first, and I think that we do have something special, but you being eighteen, and me being nineteen, that's a lot of years ahead of us that we can fuck something up in. I love you A.

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Pls girls, contain your orgasms

When you die my life will improve even though I like you very much. Some of the people you know cause me endless misery, and I don't think you like them much either.

FUCK
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK
SHIT FUCK

Biki, once again, hope you crash your car into a tree.

Please kill yourself. You won't move on with your life from your parents that honestly deserve to be let to die, your sister who mooches off you like a leech, and your mom who does the same.

Just leave it all behind and let them die. And stop complaining.

Nothing screams "surprise" more than leaking all your nudes to your family and friends on your birthday.

>>18308151
J's don't deserve love and devotion on this level. You can't turn a ho into a "housewife."

>>18309059
Fuck you, D.

>>18309046
That's terrible.

not mad about you not calling though it seemed suspicous.

Then a brief drunk phone call that felt like something happened and you assured me that you loved me, are grateful, miss me, and can't wait to come home to see me etc.

I personally think you have a binge drinking problem but what's worse is your decision making. Having to ask people what you did the night before is a bad sign and only God knows the kind of shit you did.

I know you're going out and getting drinks with other guys on your trip, but just don't bullshit me. The only reason I'm not breaking up with you this week is so that your trip isn't ruined.

I get it though. Youve always wanted to fuck some fine arts hipsters. I know I'm not that impressive

>>18309071
Yeah, I am awful.

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>>18309090
At least you're self aware.

>>18309094
Isn't it the best? People were talking about what makes them happy or better.
Knowing I'm awful and continuing to perform evil deeds makes me feel fulfilled, it's what makes me whole.

>>18309100
Don't you have friends?

>>18309112
I do, hanging out with them is great.