kissless virgin - complicated love

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>23 yo kissless virgin. Australian, high IQ, Kinda autistic,
> life going amazingly well for the last few years. Career progression, financially, education, martial arts, socially, mentally.
> meet a girl (ofcourse) in my masters
>31 yo, married for 4 years, history of proper trauma (same here)
> her husband is good to her but marriage has lost some passion.
> over 6 months or so develop a close platonic friendship. Bo
> she is the chief operating officer of an NGO
> start volunteering with her NGO
> one day we were out late, all other friends bailed or left. We got hungry so we went to my place.
>Melbourne is a big city, so it would have been expensive for her to uber home.
> we figure we are platonic so we can sleep in the same bed
> start cuddling. feelsgood.jpg. Do it for 4 more hours (fuck sleep)
> suddenly, out of fucking nowhere, she says “I want to kiss you”
> we make out for 30 min or so. more cuddles. 1 hour of sleep and off to work she goes.
>next few days we are busy with uni and work.
>develop deep feelings for her. She also develops deep feelings for me. Starts thinking of me when with her guy. She is going on holiday for 2 weeks on the 13th.
> meet her yesterday at the NGO volunteering. We agree not to escalate things.
>she escalates things. Takes two to tango but I really don’t want to ruin her life so I didn’t push her into anything.
> She is super into it. end up getting her off twice. me too.
>this all happening in under a week. We are super transparent and honest with each other.
>I have gamed this out quite a bit.

option 1: we de-escalate things and return to a platonic friendship in time. (didn’t work)
option 2: she breaks up with her guy and is with me (financially crippling for both, emotionally crippling for her,)
Option 3: I cut off all contact with her. (emotionally crippling for both)
option 4: keep cheating (unsustainable, guilt hurts her)