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I have a memories of two instances in my childhood of sexual abuse and molestation. I know the people involved and I visually remember what happened. I haven't told anyone. I'm 20 now. I had a lot of problems with anxiety in my childhood, but now they are pretty much gone.
Also I have had and still have problems with depression all my life. It comes in waves quite often and lasts for weeks or months. Every time I get depressed I get really close to killing myself, I don't know why, my life is really good now: I have tons of friends, a loving family, good health and am attractive.
Could these two instances of sexual abuse be the reason I get depressed so severely and often? I know I should go see a therapist or something, but I really don't want to talk about these memories with anyone.
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>>18300103
>dont want to talk about these memories
>talks about it on 4chan
I have a bold theory op. Ignoring problems never works. Solving them or talking about them with somebody is always better option.
>suicidal
If you enjoy your current life, you better solve this. Go to professional or at least talk about it with somebody.
Cheers.
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>>18300182
I talk about it here because it's anonymous. Talking about them in person would be embarrassing as hell.
While I am suicidal, I'm pretty sure I would never actually kill myself for the sake of my family and friends. I'm just tired of that horrible feeling of sadness and misery.
You think maybe I could go to a therapist but not mention these sexual abuse memories? Maybe I'd get "fixed" without needing to talk about that stuff?
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>>18300190
Part of being balanced responsible adult with no mental issues is to not be afraid talk about yourself.
Going to therapist and lie is contraproductive. Also some therapists are shit. Your best bet is to tell somebody you trust from family/friends circle. And dont ever pretend that you are happy when you feel dead inside. That is also reception for disaster.
Seriously, go and tell somebody your worries. It should help you in the long run. Dont be scared, try to trust somebody with it.
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>>18300196
It's hard to pretend to be happy when my face looks sad as fuck every time I'm feeling depressed. People have actually asked me if everything is okay quite a few times, but I always said that everything's cool.
You're probably right, I will try to push it and just talk about my problems with someone. Thanks for your advice, friend.
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>>18300190
literally why? first of all there's no reason to be embarrassed. second of all there's no reason to go to a shrink and lie.
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>>18300226
Just thinking about it feels disgusting. I guess I'm just afraid to be judged?
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>>18300242
clearly. and that's probably the primary issue you're having that is infecting the rest of your life. go see a shrink and talk about it. I can assure you most shrinks have heard worse stories.
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>>18300265
Yeah I think it's time after all of these years. I'm tired of it all. Thank you.
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Why don't you harass the people that did it. Flat one tire first. Week later all four. Then at the job. Throw bird feed soaked in exlax all over their house
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