>tfw was so good at masking all the cracks in my personality

>>18299250
Improve yourself. Start with this. Take off the mask and be brutally honest with your faults. Look in the mirror and identify where you lack. Love yourself for who you are, the good the bad and the ugly. Love yourself and commit to change. Change because you love yourself and you want to be better. And do everything to be better anon.

>>18299287
I already resolved to do that though on my own after a few recent incidents but having to deal with talking to my friends while they have this undertone of concern or worry or pity in their voices and affects is too painful

I don't want to be a source of worry in someone's life

>>18299347
That happens. People who truly are your friends will be concerned about you. Be grateful for this.

>>18299374
I am pretty grateful but it just loops back into making me feel like shit
"Why do I have to be so bad at hiding my trash qualities that I'm causing all of these kind people to feel negative emotions"

I wish I didn't become this way

Is there anyway I can simultaneously be grateful for having good friends and not feel guilty for putting them through distress it seems like I either have to not care about them to an extent or just accept the guilt and both are unpleasant