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"Dumped" by girl over vague text. Help 2017-05-08 11:10:33 Post No. 18298584
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"Dumped" by girl over vague text. Help 2017-05-08 11:10:33 Post No. 18298584
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Background: Ok so I've been dating this girl for 2 months that got dumped 1-2 weeks prior to us meeting. I didn't know about her ex until recently. At first she seemed really interested and we really hit it off for about 4 weeks. I never had the "talk" with her, or talked about being exclusive, but this was the direction our relationship was going
Past few weeks tho she's been distant and canceling some of our dates, not very chatty etc., and yeah, then today she comes with this message, and I'm kind of having trouble interpreting it
"Hey, okay here it comes. This message sucks. Sorry. Don't feel like you have to answer if you don't want to. You can be mad and dissappointed too. I can take it. No hard feelings but I know this is really douchy of me
But first, you're really great. You have no idea. I really like you. Love the humor between us, and yeah, I see you as really supportive, you care about the small important things. And you always say smart and sweet things to me etc. Yeah you seem like a really great person. But I don't deserve that atm, that's not where my head is right now. So yeah I don't think we should hang out today, or for a while. I'm just so insecure about everything and i don't want to go all-in yet
It was just a terrible experience for me last time, and yeah, these things take time. I hate that I met you at this time, and I feel that if I keep seeing you like we have been doing, I will be giving you false hope. And that's the worst thing ever. That was kind of what happened with me haha, and yeah, it sucked. I don't want to do that to you. Even though it might already have happened. Ugh
Really care about you. Hope you don't hate me for this. Sorry!!!"
Obviously she doesn't want to keep dating in the near future, but is she just saying all these things to make me feel better? Or could it legit be just bad timing since she just got dumped?
She's going to study abroad next semester, so this might have played a part.
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>>18298584
she is gonna whore with tyrone and wants to feel good about being a whore so she tries to get a "No ofcourse baby no problem! :)" type of text. She isnt worth your time man, after this the only thing that will happen when you get with her is getting cucked. go back while the road is close. cry a couple weeks and youre back to the old you. Find someone worth you
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>>18298584
Her whole message was bullshit.
for one she's a speed dater, dates a guy for a few months then drops them and gets another. This is a sign she can't handle being alone but she doesn't want to get to close either. What ever it is she has abandonment issues. Her, just saying how great you are is horse shit she just wants the feeling of being with new guys. She's addicted to the honey moon faze. can't blame her. But just forget her she's a whole ball of issues you don't need in your life. If she's saying how great you are and how she doesn't deserve you. You know what she doesn't deserve you. Your better than her. Fuck that bitch!
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>>18298584
>but is she just saying all these things to make me feel better
Yes
Sounds like you never tried to fuck her and only kissed her. Hope i'm wrong but hey,this is what happens when you don't keep escalating things.
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I would take her at her word. Give her some space while she's travelling, then get her a thoughtful but not romantic welcome home gift when she gets back and see if she still feels the same way.
If she's still not interested, cut ties and move on.
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>>18298584
The "why" doesn't matter. It's over. Move on.
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>>18298584
Doesn't matter.
An answer won't help you for shit, one way or the other. If you're so obsessed over getting one, even if you do get one, All it do will give you something else to obsssess and be depressed and bitch about. It will not make you feel better in anyway.
Bottom line: She's not interested in a relationship with you. The reason doesn't matter, nor change that reality, so move on. Find someone who is.
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>>18298600
>but is she just saying all these things to make me feel better
you're spot on anon, dubs of truth
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>>18298600
>>18298768
>Sounds like you never tried to fuck her and only kissed her
wrong quote oops
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>>18298584
Did you ever think she's trying to be nice and told you that instead of telling you that you were a rebound?
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By framing it as "it's not you it's me I don't deserve you I'm so insecure," she makes it all about her own feelings so she can force you into a corner where you put her emotions over yours and can't express your feelings because you have don't want to make her feel worse during a fragile time. It's a bit disingenuous.
It's like throwing the situation at you, and then putting up a shield so that she doesn't have to deal with a response she doesn't want. It allows her to do something dickish like using text to break up without being called out on it.
She's emotionally immature. I know me saying "it's not worth it" won't help the pain, and that you still want her. The only thing that will change that feeling is time.
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