I struggle meeting compatible guys. I am looking for someone

you probably missed the closest matches possible when pokemon go just came out

closest sounding thing you'll find now are the radio/"hacker" nerds that do transmitter hunting and geocaching
take a shallow glance into those hobbies are so you're informed, then check what kind of groups meet up in the wide area, and head on over to one to learn some more about them

shooting range would also be a mixed bag
guns and outdoors go together a lot, and there's definitely survival/camping/gun nerds
much larger barrier to entry for an outsider though

>>18296728
We're not really unicorns, we're just introverted so we don't go out all the time. I'm usually either at the gym, bookstore, or clubs (I do table tennis or check out random things like art and dancing classes). Try checking out some nice places and if you find a nice looking guy keeping to himself, go approach him, 99% of the time we are in our own world and will not approach you.

>>18296748
Geocaching isn't really a thing where I live.
Wouldn't go to a shooting range, I am clumsy as fuck and pretty sure I'd inadvertently kill myself if I had a gun in my hands. Both my parents go shooting and they never brought me because I am not capable of existing without hurting myself.

>>18296755
>We're not really unicorns
Trust me, you kinda are.

I am introverted too, so I get the whole being in my own world/not approaching people/not going out all the time.
I tried dating more extroverted people, but I find it exhausting in the long run.

But, yeah - thank you.

>>18296773
Yeah I feel you there, it's why most introverts thrive off of the internet, no one wants to approach one another irl. I guess the best advice I can give is do what you love and you'll find someone through it, just don't actively look too hard and appear desperate.

>>18296795
Even on internet dating, it doesn't seem like guys are looking for something serious.
I don't blame them, but yeah I am not really a one night stand person.

>>18296806
You sound like a nice girl, I'm sure you'll find someone great. Most of us introverts are more into longer more powerful relationships I think.

>>18296728
You sound like you're looking for someone that will do whatever you want him to do. It ain't how it works, look for a friend and not a copy of yourself

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I have legit the exact same issues, OP only from a guy's perspective.

for a year, I resorted to using Tinder. It has given me a lot of experience and I'm there to find a relationship but it never lasts for more than 2 weeks dating for some reason.

Where do you live? I'm in Malta in the Mediterranean. I work in the film industry, so my chances of meeting someone like that is miniscule. The only other chance is friends of friends but when they're the "party till 4am on the regular" types, it doesn't give me hope for someone who I click with.

Keep trying. You truly fail when you give up. I've seen a fair few amazing girls that disappeared for whatever reason but it gave me a taste of what I always wanted.

Keep fucking trying.

>>18296755
This
Dealing with introverts is always hard.

I don't think you're being too specific though, go for what you like. I may be a bit more introverted then what you're looking for but even guys like me have to go out to work or buy food. Ambush people at the store.
I'm not normally a hunting for a match person, personally I'm a romantic that actually believes in love, but you seem nice so I thought I'd say something.
>>18296795
And what I was gonna say was this.
Just live life doing what you love and someone will notice. Just be sure to stay on the lookout aswell.

>>18296837
Also I want to tell you something from my own perspective.

As others have said, we're usually alone or don't talk much. A lot of us enjoy observing and learning that way either because we just don't know what to say, or we enjoy it.

But I actually really like it when a cute girl shows me clear interest in knowing more about me and treats me like I'm someone important to the outing. In group dynamics, there's always those particular people that click more than others and have chemistry. It's highly apparent, and it kills the mood for me usually because I'd be lonely in a group of 10 people. 3 are chatting away, 2 not-couples that secretly want to bang each other but don't have the balls to make the first move (I know so because both parties confide in me and waste my time with 2 hours of bitching on FB without ever taking my advice to JUST. DO IT!) and that one person who avoids eye contact.

I disgress, but my point is: Take an interest in them. Like me, others might enjoy being given some safe attention. Smile, possibly light arm touching to show friendliness and take a genuine interest in what they do. A lot of us usually feel quite passionate about what we do, but also feel it's intrusive to just start explaining, so we don't want to bother people with in-depth discussion when people just want to talk about beer, weed or how much of a faggot their boss is.

I know taking the initiative is a pain in the ass and I always end up telling myself "why do I always have to be the one that does it?" but the truth is, if one of us doesn't, we'll both miss out.

>>18296728
Go to scientific events and lectures. Be interested in the subject and talk to people there. If they happen to show interest in you as well and check the boxes you mentioned ,ask them out for a drink to further discuss the topic.

You're not aiming for the most-wanted guys here so it really shouldn't take long before one of them accepts who ends up being a nice guy like the one you described.

>>18296832
I don't want a copy of myself or someone who will do everything I like, or just what I personally like - but I don't want to be in a relationship where all we do is cuddle, be nice to each other and fuck. It bores me.
I do want a friend, and I'm not friends with people I don't have anything in common and who are not stimulating intellectually. He doesn't have to be a copy of me, god I'd never date a copy of me - but someone who can be interesting to talk to and not a complete homebody, so we can do fun stuff together.

>>18296837
>>18296855
Just 1200 km away from you. Not even too far away for 4chan standards.
I tried online dating but really don't click with anybody.
Guys are clearly there just to find someone to fuck, or conversation dies. I went on a couple of dates, but it never developed into anything.
I might try to take initiative a little more. I'm not too shy, so it might even work. People in my social life don't really interest me tho, at the moment.

>>18296845
I like huge introverts. I am one. My best friend usually introduces me at parties as "She's Anonette. She doesn't really want to be here". Which is true, but hey.
Thanks for your reply, I hope you find someone nice.

>>18296860
I don't really have issues finding guys attracted to me physically, I'm pretty decent looking.

I might try to go to scientific events a bit more. I am trying to go through school faster since I had to start later and it keeps me really busy, but I might slow down and enjoy myself a bit more.

>>18296869
Heh, 1.2km is like Italy, North Africa or Central Europe of sorts. Not far at all, but there's also my biggest problem with Tinder. the girls I clicked well with were tourists who were here on vacation. I've made a couple of nice friends out of those temporary meetings, but nothing I could build on. I don't really believe I'm built for long-distance stuff, I'm a very physical person. I mean I love sex but I can easily keep that at bay, but I'd want to actually meet and holds hands and all that stuff, cuddle n shit. It makes me feel wanted and that's a beautiful feeling.

I wouldn't say I'm too shy, but again, same issue as you. I'm not bad looking either and I have my own achievements, I just don't know the first thing about approaching.

Lemme give you an example. Saturday I had a house-warming party for a friend. She has 2 of her friends here and both were gorgeous. There was a guarded slightly introverted type and an extroverted scene-girl with huge tits and coloured hair. Guarded girl was there for a month and a half and the other moved here permanently. I tried approaching them, making some chat about what they do and all, seemed to be going ok but then the party started proper and a shitload of dudes showed up, mostly brazilians and they just created this whole extroverted circle around the laptop and they were singing and shit and it locked me and a few other people out. the entire party for like 3 more hours was their group with the girls clearly enjoying themselves and stonewalling the rest and me and the handful of others who gradually thinned out and left. When you see that, you lose all hope of penetrating that group, you're clearly not invited.

People say "invite yourself!" but I don't honestly know how. That kinda shit happens a fair bit, I feel like I wasted my evening and that just makes me clam up and then leave.

>>18296900
Introvert from earlier in post here, let me tell you now those people sound exceedingly rude. I'm not necessarily shy but I don't tend to approach and a respectful extroverted person will always realize this and integrate everyone.

>>18296910
Perhaps yes, but I always chalk it up to mob mentality I guess. When you got like 10 people who speaks your language and they don't know you, they're usually not going to bother with you. They're there to drink, smoke and catch up with old friends or others who they at least know somewhat.

>>18296728

Don't design the guy before meeting him. Just meet guys until one catches your fancy.

There is a 90% chance the guy you are describing is below a 5/10
Just get with Chad and let him fuck his side hoes

>>18296937
Not every introvert is a cheeto-fingers NEET who jerks it to anime tiddies and weighs more than a buick, lad.

>>18296937
I don't mind dating guys who are much less attractive than me if they're decent people.
Last guy who asked me out was hot as hell but boring, and I can't do it.

>>18296924
All those traits are things that didn't work out in my last relationships. I tried to date extroverts but it didn't work. I tried to date homebodies, but we ended up resenting each other because I wanted to travel/hike/kayak and they wanted to stay at home and play videogames.

>>18296900
I am pretty bad at long distance stuff as well, can fully understand.
I am sorry for your experience at the party, they seem really rude.

>>18296728
I'm all these things and more and have more women coming on to me than I can handle. Get in line OP

>>18296969
>All those traits are things that didn't work out in my last relationships.

You are still building a guy before meeting him. The more time you spend in Fantasy-land daydreaming or designing a guy, the less real that image will become.

Live in today, in the real world. Date people and see if it works. It's one thing to say: "I want someone that travels" and then narrow down from there. But at this points it feels like you are looking for reasons to turn guys down. Which is fine if you want to, but don't bitch that you are alone if you want to be so specific.

>>18296969
Thank you, I know. But anyway, don't give up. We're not that rare, we're just elusive if you don't know how to find us.

I'd love to hike and shit, I did rockclimbing despite my fear of heights and it was dope as fuck. It's like performance, if you practice beforehand, the fear will help you perform I believe. I want to take it to the next level someday and skydive. That would be fucking harrowing for me but I can't die without experiencing it at least once.

Stay strong. Wish I could take you out for a historical tour but y'know.

>>18296995
And yeah, I agree with what >>18296981 says. It's cool to have preferences but you can't fit someone into a mould, even if you allow for discrepancies in that mould like "stuff I disagree about".

Don't look for a guy, look for a connection, a click, spark, whatever you want to call it.

>>18296980
Well, what do you do? Where do you hang out?

>>18296981
I do, but it doesn't work out.
I go out with guys I find attractive and get along with, but then after a few weeks things stop working because they are not that interesting to talk to, they are super outgoing and want me to hang out with their friends every other day, or they get mad at me because I actually want to do something outside during weekends.
I don't have huge issues dating a guy who is different from me, but right now I can't build a connection that goes beyond "you seem pretty cool and I'd probably fuck you".

>>18296995
My best friend and I are going skydiving for my birthday. I am frankly terrified, but it seems pretty cool in theory. Let's hope I don't die.
Malta is on my list for next year, I'll hit you up.

>>18297020
>but then after a few weeks things stop working

The common thread in all your relationship is "you". Hey, maybe you really have bad luck and no guy is good enough to last 3 months. Or maybe you are letting your own issues come forth and blamingeveryone else but you. Just saying.

>>18297020
Haha but we don't know the first thing about each other. How would you know?

>>18297030
I don't think they're not good enough, just not compatible with me.
I am sure that it is partially my fault because I am extremely introverted, argumentative and restless, and there might be something majorly wrong with me, but.

>>18297039
I'll swipe through all tinder till I find an introvert into the movie industry.

>>18297068
>I am sure that it is partially my fault because I am extremely introverted, argumentative and restless, and there might be something majorly wrong with me, but.

But what? If you are not ready to date, you are not ready to date. It's not the end of the world.

>>18297068
Determined! Hope you like beards.

Could you elaborate on the argumentative part? Like do you specifically bring up contentious topics like religion, politics, social issues etc to see what you agree and disagree on? Could that could seriously put off some people. Chris Rock said it best with “When you meet somebody for the first time, you're not meeting them, you're meeting their representative.”

How long that representative personality stays depends on how well you click. Bringing up such subjects right off the bat may get you either dishonest replies or make them think you're overly confrontational (and since you're looking for introverts, this tends to put those types off at mach 3).

Being restless and too guarded may make them think you're not enjoying their presence or any choice of place or hang out they might have suggested, which might make them lose hope.

I dunno how much any of this applies to you but I'm just taking shots in the dark here.

>>18296728
Hiking is quite popular among mathematicians. They also tend to travel a lot for conferences. I'd suggest searching there.

I am a mathematician myself and fit those two, as well as being extremely introverted. However, I might be educated, but outside of maths, and to some extent science, my curiosity (and logically, knowledge) tends to be nonexistent. Also I don't enjoy arguing and would only engage in it if I feel like me making my point is somehow important (in a practical sense)

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>>18296728
>I want a smart, curious, introverted guy who is also outdoorsy and fit and wants to travel and do sports

Let me guess, he needs to be a swimsuit model with a 10 inch dick too, am I right?

Where do you people find these local event, groups, and such that everyone talks about?

>>18296728
I guess it depends on where you live. If your near a college a lot of them have hiking clubs that seam to have a lot of members as you describe also i have known a lot of guys excactly the way you describe of course i was a boy scout thats probably why we were all kinda outdoorsy and nerdy.

>>18297020
>I don't want a homebody because I want to go out and do stuff
>I don't want someone outgoing because I don't want to hang out with their friends
Sounds like you're more looking for a dog than a boyfriend.

>>18297084
Love beards.

Well, I do enjoy discussing about religion, politics and social issues. I like disagreeing with people a lot.
I don't bring them up if there's no reason, but I am interested in talking about someone's political views more than his childhood memories.

I'm not really cold, I'm a pretty warm and kind girl. But, yeah - I want to do stuff all the time, I get stressed when I am supposed to be "chilling".

>>18297255
Long term boyfriend was a mathematician, who loved hiking. I really liked that we could do a lot of shit together.
He was a bit non-confrontational too, but it was okay.

>>18297265
He doesn't need to be fit, just fit enough to hike. I don't care about dating someone very attractive, and even less about big dicks.

>>18297365
Already have one. Pretty cool dog.

I don't want someone too outgoing because I am very introverted. I struggle a lot when I date extroverts because it exhaust me to go out multiple times a week, meet their friends, spend time in crowded places, be social. I don't mind going out for a beer with his friends once in a while, but going clubbing with strangers every weekend is a fucking torture to me.
I don't mind staying at home, but I enjoy doing outdoorsy shit and travelling, and I want someone who would do it with me - or at least someone who wouldn't resent me if I go alone.

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>>18297398
Look, lady: People who want to go out and hike and shit like that are probably going to have a circle of friends they like hanging out with that they're not going to drop. People who don't have a circle of friends to hang out with regularly are probably going to be homebodies and not want to go out hiking or traveling.

I'm not saying what you're looking for doesn't exist, I'm sure there are some very very alone guys out there who hate most people but love hiking (and traveling?????) but if they do they're a needle hiding in a barn full of hay.

I would suggest looking for people who have just moved to your area, as they'd have the largest chance of being relatively extroverted without already having a social circle.

>>18297020
>Well, what do you do? Where do you hang out?
I don't hang out (I'm an introvert and do not like to be around a lot of people for no reason) and think that a waste of time. I travel a lot for work and for play. Example, I rode my motorcycle from New York to LA and back alone or I grab a small backpack, jump on a plane with a destination in mind but no plans for what happens when I get there for 3 or 4 days. Otherwise I just live my life but have women approach me. The girl at the grocery check out, the girl in line at the coffee shop, the girl I pass while running, the girl coworker that saw a few photos of me skiing, etc.

>>18296728

I found a guy like this through mutual friends in uni. They're around, you just need to mingle to find them and have the guts to make the first move, because otherwise you'll miss your window. Pretty much every uni girl would like to have a guy like that.

>>18296728
It sounds like you're looking for me, but I'm already taken

>>18296728
I think we'd match but I don't meet that many people like myself either.

>>18297411
But I don't want them to drop their friends, and I don't need to date someone who hates people. I don't hate people either and I have my own circle of friends. I'm not asocial.

I travel a lot - I take longer trips at least once a year, and a weekend off pretty much every month. So yeah, it'd be a shame to date someone who wouldn't come with me.
From May to September I go hiking at least twice a month.

>>18297464
You literally just complained about dating people with an established circle.

You have my advice.

>>18297414
>Pretty much every uni girl would like to have a guy like that.
yeah no that is just not true

>>18296728
>introverted
>curious, argumentative and witty

You're trying to add apples and oranges here, OP. (Or someone with a personality disorder that contains these two personality types)

>>18297398
Get someone in your university to introduce you to someone in the maths department and start asking around if someone's interested in going hiking. Even if you don't get a good guy on the first hit, this should let you find the network of mathematicians who hike

>>18297414
I don't mind making the first move actually. I'm not really shy.
I am just tired of shitty frat guys and the amazing dates spent talking about booze and weed.

>>18297443
Your girlfriend is lucky then.

>>18297452
That's pretty cool. What do you do usually?

>>18297472
I just don't want to spend all the time with them. I don't want to go out with them 3 times a week, I don't want to spend all my free time around strangers, I don't want to make superficial and boring conversations, or be stuck in a club till 4 AM or at a party.
I don't like that shit, it bores me and exhausts me.

Then if he has a few friends he likes to hang out regularly and sometimes he wants to bring me along, it's more than fine. I just am not a party girl and don't want to date an extroverted party guy.

>>18296728
>I want someone who likes to stay in but also wants to be outdoorsy

Those are polar opposites buddy. You might get someone who doesn't mind both but they are going to lean one way or the other.

I'd probably match most of what you're saying but you couldn't get me to hike for money.

Where do you live anyway? That makes a big difference for what kind of dating pool you're working with.

>>18296728
tfw Im kinda like what you describe and you seem nice but I live in the balkans so we will never meet

>>18296728
I kind of fit the bill
>inb4 hitting on you

I, as most introverts, stick to their clubs. I hang out at my study association, or with my volleyball team after training, or at the bar with my small group of friends. I avoid noisy, crowded places and never go out on my own to explore, unless Im drunk enough to stop caring.

Your best chances are to meet someone like that through mutual friends, or hobbies where you actually have to interact with guys like that.

Good luck

>>18296728
You probably never gave the guys who approached you a chance.

Idk if this helps but, I'd say I'm a smart, active, introverted person. I've never hiked before, but if a girl I liked wanted me to go with her you wouldn't have to ask twice. I'm curious about some stuff, some not so much. Usually don't argue that much, or want to, as it can be exhausting. May be okay if every once in a while for a short time. I like playing sports, been playing my whole life. I don't go out much except for class, gym, sports, or school clubs activities, so idk how to find somebody like me unless introduced by a friend, or in the same class/club/sport. Dang hiking with a gf sounds fun!

I'm these things, but most of my time is spent alone. I play soccer on the weekends or go for walks by myself. The rest of my hobbies are things you won't meet me doing, like writing music by myself in my home or watching anime by myself in my home.

Drop a skype or something if you actually want to meet some people. The kind of person you want to meet is not easy to meet.

>>18297487
You make me sad OP, because you describe me perfectly and I have the gender-flipped version of exactly your problem. Meeting a girl with whom I can talk as an equal about something meaningful is an ultra-rare event for me. And when I do, she's either not single or not interested in me.

As for where you can find me - hiking through nature areas at unlikely hours (like 6am on a Sunday) or in front of my computer doing stuff.

If I were you, I'd give online dating another try. Don't use tinder if you want something serious, try okcupid instead. And make sure to fill your profile properly. You'll get tons messages even if you don't, but not from the people you want. I won't message a girl unless she shows the ability to form complete and coherent sentences in her profile.

>>18297492
I mean they aren't opposite, introverted =/= homebody.

>Where do you live anyway?
Europe. 100k people university town. Pretty middle class area.

>>18297497
I was in Zagreb a couple of months ago and I have been planning a Balkans roadtrip for years.

>>18297506
>inb4 hitting on you
Kek. No worries.

I might get into some student association at uni. My hobbies are mostly solitary.

>>18297508
I did! I tried dating 3 for a while and things didn't really work out.

>>18297548
It actually is helpful. I'll try to be more active in school clubs and such things.

Hiking with a partner is fun as fuck. I had such a great time with my ex.
Right now I'm going with my dad mostly.

>>18297557
>I play soccer on the weekends
I actually love soccer. I tried playing for a while but I'm too clumsy and tore my ligaments.

I might make a throwaway skype later.
Probably live extremely far away from everyone, but at least I will have someone to chat with.

>>18297560
I am really sorry I made you sad.

I tried online dating really shortly but it was a complete disaster. I spent a lot of time filling my profile, but felt like most guys really ignored it.
I am also probably more picky online than I am in real life, and I am already extremely picky. I usually message people first.

You sound nice, by the way.

This whole thread is so sad. I don't mind the way you stroke each other's egos, but you keep saying how everyone around you is dumb and you are so misunderstood. I really hope you are all 15, because you should have grown out of this mentality otherwise.

>>18297326
Please

>>18296728
that's pretty much me but i know you wouldn't go for me

it's also not that specific

>>18296728
People like that exist, but they aren't going to be anywhere that they can be easily met. You basically had to know them when they were kids.

Point of fact, I'm like that and I haven't made a single friend since college basically, and I'm 35.

I sit in my house most of the time, because I work from home(thank god for infosec); I have home fitness equipment(weights and a bike); the park I walk my dog in is next to my house; etc. I'm not often in a situation where I'm able to be met by a stranger.

I imagine that's going to be the case for most people like what you're describing.

>>18297598
You fail at reading friend. People here are not saying "everyone around me is dumb", they are saying "everyone around is interested in different things from me". That is just how the world is - people have different interests, goals and values and I usually don't judge them for it, unless they are really stupid. But I wouldn't want to date a girl when we have nothing to talk about.

>>18297589
No worries, it was just a figure of speech. I have made my peace with the fact that my gf might be far away in the future.
Btw I'm also in europe, so >>18297557

>>18296728
>I am looking for someone fairly introverted. I like educated, curious and generally smart guys. I enjoy being with someone argumentative and witty. I am a fairly active person, too, so I'd like to be with someone outdoorsy who'd hike, travel and potentially do sports with me.
>Am I excessively specific?
This is why online dating is a shitstorm.

That sounds pretty specific. You need to go out and do those things you enjoy. If you really want someone more introverted, then you'll have to do things that introverts like to do. If you're still in college, you can join clubs. That is seriously the best way to meet people in college.

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>>18297567
>I mean they aren't opposite, introverted =/= homebody.

>>18296823
I second this, but this is just two introverts talking. We're all different.

The curse of the introvert, you'll nevet meet another one.

>>18297567
Introverted people are by and large homebodies because, surprise, being introverted usually means you find social activities to be tiring and thus are more relaxed when alone and so you tend to be alone a lot more often.

I'm not from Europe so I can't give much advice other than try doing the things you like to do in groups and branch out from there. If you want to grab an introverted person, you're probably going to have to be pretty social because they tend to not bother with anyone other than their friends and family.

>>18296728
Feminism.

>>18297829
This is excessive generalizing IMO. Yes, introverts find being around people tiring. But so what, exercise is also tiring, yet tons of people do it for fun. Some introverts might be asocial, but certainly not all.

I am very introverted, but I love stuff like playing DnD or talking about science or whatever. I just need to rest by myself afterwards. And even asocial people don't need to stay inside all the time - hiking by yourself is very enjoyable.

>>18297609
Why do you think so?

>>18297639
Heh, I fear so.

>>18297656
I made a throwaway, if you or anyone else wants to drop their skype I'll add.

>>18297829
Basically this: >>18297892
I am super introverted yet I enjoy some social activities and definitely love staying outside. Mostly alone.

>>18297919
[email protected]
I'm >>18297560

>>18297919
flagg273
Going to work right now though.

Youre a woman. You dont know what you want.

>>18298032
You don't even use apostrophes.

>>18298016
>>18298018
Added.

>>18297326
Meetup.com, but if you don't live in or close enough to a city, you're going to be sorely disappointed with the groups even remotely close by.

>>18297398
now i'm not an expert but i'm pretty sure most men don't want confrontation in a relationship, you make it sound like you want someone to butt heads with

>>18297068

I wouldn't say it's something "wrong", maybe moreso something that that you need to work on.

At the risk of being a silly keyboard psychiatrist, I kind of get the sense that you've got some kind of mild disorder or something due to the specificity of how you search for partners and how you become unable to tolerate them during the period of time where other people would start to grow closer.

Maybe they really are incompatible with you, but the thing is that most couples are not 100% compatible/alike.

>>18296728

>>18296728
Goddamn, you're basically looking for me.

I also went to uni 3 years late, and can't meet girls who are my type.

This life thing is pretty annoying sometimes.

>>18296728
Hey OP, I'm an introvert but I enjoy nature. I once went backpacking (think hardcore camping) and I loved it! You get so removed from everything it's a spiritual experience. I'd love to do this with a girl. I used to workout and I'd like to do this again. I still get some cardio in by taking brisk walks. Physical fitness I'd important to me, but I need to up my cooking. I also oftentimes prefer to play video games. I also enjoy deep, meaningful conversion or talking about nerd stuff. I'm not the most politically astute, but I'm sure we could get into protracted discussions about some political topics. I'm nowhere near you, but I wanted to show you we do exist, but you'll have to put yourself into situations where you have a chance of meeting guys like that. Just don't be so set on those traits you dismiss other guys that would be good Witt you.