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Anonymous
My boyfriend doesn't respect relationships/sex/women/etc. What do 2017-05-07 09:20:23 Post No. 18294916
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My boyfriend doesn't respect relationships/sex/women/etc. What do 2017-05-07 09:20:23 Post No. 18294916
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My boyfriend doesn't respect relationships/sex/women/etc. What do
Anonymous
2017-05-07 09:20:23
Post No. 18294916
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My boyfriend and I got together about two months ago, but we've been very close friends for six years. He treats me very well and always has.
He's a great guy by all other standards, but he's been with ~40 women before me. I try not to judge but that shows bad character in my opinion. He's told me about hooking up with girls he met online and never seeing them again, he comments on wanting to fuck girls he sees on the street, and the worst of all is that he makes derogatory comments about all of his past sexual partners. Even the ones he was in serious relationships with. All I can think of while we have sex is "he's been intimate like this with 40 other people. how could it mean anything to him?" "there's no way I could compete with the more experienced women he's been with" "am I less attractive than ___?" "he doesn't care about sex, why would he want to be monogamous with me?".
It makes me very insecure. The way he jokes around about women he's slept with (example: making fun of the things they said to him in bed, talking in detail about their bodies, showing their naked photos to people) unsettles me and makes me assume he will obviously do the same to me one day. It's disrespectful and despite it being in the past it seriously gets to me.
Is this worth trying to get over? Is he just an asshole regarding sex/intimacy? Is it even possible that someone can be a good person yet be this disrespectful about relationships?
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>>18294916
You've known him for six years.
You should have thought about it before you started dating him.
Why did you start a relationship with him if you knew he was so disrespectful?
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>>18294916
>that shows bad character in my opinion
Why? The rest of his behavior obviously does but how the fuck is having many sexual partners a bad trait? It's not like he had 40 relationshits.
>he comments on wanting to fuck girls he sees on the street
Now that's silly if he knows that you're not cool with that.
>makes derogatory comments about all of his past sexual partners.
Now that's a huge redflag.
>showing their naked photos to people
Abort.
All your questions are down to your insecurity though and no it doesn't make you insecure, you already are. It just gives you another reminder. So you should work on that regardless of what you choose here.
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He doesn't sound like a complete asshole, it's normal to make a little fun stuff like that from the past
However what does worry me is how he seems to not notice he's obviously talking about it too much to a point where you feel insecure
Feels like he's a bit of an insensitive prick for that
Tell him straight to his face how you feel about these things you just posted here
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>>18294941
I didn't really think about it. I know that sounds odd, but I've always just told myself that it's just "guy talk" but now that the idea that he may talk about ME like that is in the equation it makes me uncomfortable. It's not a constant thing, and his actions are very kind towards everyone. Which is so backwards. He's never cheated on anyone, lied to them, he selflessly does so much for me, so I don't even know where this behavior comes from. I guess it's how he feels deep down.
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>>18294916
Bait Nye The Baiting Thread!
Bait! Bait! Bait! Bait! Bait!
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>>18294943
I mean it makes me feel insecure about our relationship. And like I said, the way I view sex is that it's very intimate and connects people, so I can't fathom being with so many people and simply not caring about them.
Exactly. Some of it I can let go of, but the outright inappropriate comments about exes and etc is a big indicator that he will do the same to me when we break up
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>I picked the bad boy
>beta orbiters help me please
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>>18294955
wat
What is not believable about this
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>>18294952
>He's never cheated on anyone, lied to them, he selflessly does so much for me, so I don't even know where this behavior comes from.
You don't get tons of hookups by acting like an ass towards them. He might legitimately care about you and enjoy intimacy with you NOW but I don't see why he wouldn't shittalk you to if the relationship ends and pass your nudes around.
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>>18294958
I would not consider him "bad". I fell for him after considering him my closest friend since middle school. Seems pretty wholesome to me, apart from the issue above ofc
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>>18294966
This is just difficult for me to consider as he's been so great to me for so long. I don't want to imagine him being shitty like that but I can't help it. I honestly want to get over my insecurities but I'm wary of his intentions regardless
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>>18294975
I don't think something is wrong with his intentions per se, things are rarely black and white. Just if you're the person who talks bad about people you've been with and massively disrespect their privacy ... well, it's unlikely you'll suddenly stop doing that.
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>>18294985
Also to expand a bit, one could rationalize the "ex shittalking" by a bizarre attempt to make you feel better about yourself but there are simply not excuses for the nudes thing.
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>>18294916
If he views all the other women before you as expendable sex objects what makes you think you're special? If you two break up there is no doubt that he's going to talk about you in the same way he talks about all these other women. A man who has such little self respect to sleep with 40 women and such little respect for others sounds like a total loser! What are you doing OP
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