Crying at work because of girls

>>18294896

Go to a proffesional to treat your crippling lack of self esteem. This is way to big to fix here, you need someone walking this process with you.

Fuck a hooker and realize girls arent that special

>>18294909
this is the only truly useful advice you're gonna get. if your insecurity is affecting your work, you should definitely look into therapy

>>18294909

I have self esteem i'm just a realist and know what I can or can not do

and I can't do girls

I just want to stop thinking about relationships

>>18294927
Losers get with girls all the time. Go get profession help, you're not a realist, you're a mess.

>>18294927
That's just an easy way to double down on your own circular logic.

I know, because I do it too.

>>18294917
This.

Virginity is the new social epidemic. Males are reaching their 30s and even 40s without knowing what sex and relationships are even like, more than ever before. They retain the high school mentality about sex their whole lives, and sooner or later this is going to do something big and bad to the world.

if you were 6'5" you'd still be a boring ugly virgin beta

>>18294938
well girls have a lot more options now a days, it makes perfect sense

I mean if you had the choice between dating a land whale or fucking a 10/10 supermodel that sleeps around what would you choose?

>>18294944
Obviously, it's my whole person that is unattractive which is why i've never had a single girl show interest in me

but again I've accepted that part, I just want to stop thinking about what I can't have

>>18294927
>I have self esteem i'm just a realist and know what I can or can not do

Listen mate, whether you are right or not, we agree that you can't break down crying at your job, right? You say it's affecting your work, isn't it?

Then go to a proffesional. You need the help, don't be so arrogant and just reach out. THey can help you.

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Whenever you're worried about foreveralone-ness, just remind yourself that women have fuckall chance of getting a quality man after they get knocked up by the street hustlers they chose in their HS/uni years.

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>>18294967
must be nice to worry about getting the perfect man instead of one at all

>>18294964
>don't be so arrogant

Not OP, but getting access to psychiatry has been like searching for the holy grail.

Whether you're covered or not, basically they want to throw Prozac at you and call it a day. I was taking Prozac in the earlymid 90s and I tell these unpaid interns I already know what it does to me. Changes fuck-all when I tell people this. If I'm lucky enough to get to see a general practitioner over 30, then he'll suggest I try one of the other SSRIs that also got shoved down my throat in the 90s already.

Dear god... I'm 24 and I'm worried about things like buying a house, pushing corporate projects, scheduling flights, visas and suing companies. Moreover, my friends and I think we might be behind in life.

You probably need to see your general practitioner.

>>18295007
>basically they want to throw Prozac at you and call it a day

That's a psychiatrist. You should check out a psycologist. The ones that talk to you instead of giving you drugs.

But nevertheless, a bunch of assholes online won't fix your deep seated issues either, so why not try the dude that studied a couple of years? He may have a better shot.

>>18295014
>basically they want to throw Prozac at you and call it a day

That's a psychiatrist. You should check out a psycologist. The ones that talk to you instead of giving you drugs.

But nevertheless, a bunch of assholes online won't fix your deep seated issues either, so why not try the dude that studied a couple of years? He may have a better shot.

>>18294964
Honestly what is a professional going to do that you guys can't?

I'm not taking medication because im lonely

>>18295025
Both throw prozac in every random direction. It was this way when I had private insurance and it remains this way after I've been hustled onto public coverage. (KP likes to cut people the fuck off if they try too hard to get what they need, plenty of folks I've known died from that.)

>>18295026
>I'm not taking medication because im lonely

Again, go to the talky ones, not the druggy ones.

>Honestly what is a professional going to do that you guys can't?

They can follow your development over time, months or even years. We are just random assholes online. We have no responsibility, we odn't really care about you, and we won't be here when you need us.

>>18295026
> Honestly what is a professional going to do that you guys can't?

We don't know, which is kind of the point. If we knew you wouldn't need a professional. Professionals are usually much better at what they do than random people though.

>>18295031

Maybe the problem here is how trigger happy US is with medication (or whatever place it is you live in). Where I am, that doesn't happen. What can I tell you. I'm pretty sure you could find a psychologist around if you really tried, though.

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>>18295038
>we don't really care about you, and we won't be here when you need us.

You actually believe that they care about their patients?

>>18295063

Enough to have you survive to keep paying. We don't even have that.

>>18294934
>>18294936
>>18294964


Not him.
But I'm in the same state.

I tried everything(online dating, clubs,tinder,...), and even when I finally thought a girl was interested she was just making fun of me with her friends.

Really, I would tell OP to not listen to any advice telling him he will get a girl.

That's what I thought too when I finally realized it's never going to happen.
You don't just become old and virgin for no reason.

At work I see all my coworkers talk about their parties and the girl they fucked with.
I would ask myself all the time why it never happens to me.
Why I never get a girl hit on me.
Why I never get a match on tinder.
Why girls find myself to be not only an easy target(which is obvious) but one to play with as well.


I can tell you many reasons.
It all boils to being unattractive.

So yeah, if OP really feels like this can save what's left of his confidence, don't ever play the game, unless you're ready to lose big.

>>18295082

I'm just telling him to get a shrink, not a girl. Plenty of people are alone. Not all of them have it affect their work. That's why he needs help.

>>18295082
Dude, just bee yourself.

>>18294896
I thought betas/robots/niceguys were supposed to blame women not themselves

>>18295044

>Patient: I'm sick of every single person here doing nothing but trying to throw SSRIs at me
>"Doctor:" here's your xerox'd SSRI note for the pharmacy
>Patient: can you refer me to someone who will do any single thing else?
>"Doctor:" sorry, your four minutes are up for today. I can schedule you to come back in six months if you'd like.
-Kaiser Permanente

Folks commit suicide while they're waiting to get through the endless labyrinth of seminars and 'orientations' under the false promise of being able to sit down on a couch and talk to somebody someday. This was what Obamacare was supposedly going to replace, but the system didn't change much at all.

>>18295096
It did affect my work during a while too.

Best advice I can give OP is to simply wait, he is going through a crysis and if it's only starting now it may even get worse after but just wait until it passes.

Actually a girl would help much more.

All shrinks ever did for me is give me prozac or some drug that works "over time" which never work by the way(took them for a year)

When I reachd that age(I'm 25 now) I figured that since I never experienced the emotion of being loved I just craved so bad for it.

It's sad to admit and I hope it doesn't scare OP, but I have never stopped thinking about girls and getting a female.

Think of it like wanting girls so bad, but your dick isn't the one asking for it this time.
It doesn't go away with anything, and that is the consequence of never having known a girl in your adolescence.

I could bullshit myself by thinking that things are worse elsewhere or other peoples.
But sexual misery is a real problem, no matter your race, culture, wealth or anything else.

>>18295151
>>18295152

I'm sorry you guys had bad luck with proffesionals. But what do you two suggest?

The second Anon at least offers something. First one is ranting about Obama.

A girl won't fix OP, because you can't burden a person with your self esteem. And even if he is so fucked he will never find a girl, he needs to learn to deal with it in some way. He can't have panic attacks or whatever you call this episode in the middle of his work day. In them iddle of his life.

Unless you can cure him from behind the screen, I say he should reach out to someone that can be there for him. Friends, family, a proffesional, someone. But 4chan can walk this road with him. This is deep and needs to be addressed as such.

>>18295151
>>18295152
>>18295163

>4chan CAN'T walk this road with him

I'm dumb when writing.

>>18295163
>But what do you two suggest?

Dude who can't get anything but SSRIs here (and nor can my family for their own purposes, with or without real coverage)

All I can suggest is stay the flaming fuck out of California. The place is like Venezuela with an elite overclass; the only reason the state itself is wealthy is because of a (dwindling) handful of mega-corporations who hire people from other states and transfer them here to try to sell stuff to folks on welfare. One by one they're leaving; if the taxes and regulations don't force them out of the state then the frivolous lawsuit culture will. There's not much to do in my area anymore besides pack oranges onto trains. I used to work for a company that built manufactured housing, in their corporate HQ. Company went bankrupt and their brand got auctioned to somebody else across the country.

If I had money, I'd have a real doctor. Solution to most problems is just get some damn money.

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>>18294896
is this what the modern beta has come to?

>>18294917
This.

Honestly, I was tired of being a virgin and found out that almost every single girl who rejected me always had boyfriends or fuck buddies.

So I thought to myself: I need to get this whole virginity thing over with.

>>18295254
I don't care about sex at all though

>>18295234
Yes, and it's only going to get worse over time.

It's like the baby problem. Today's infant population is the next generation's new adult population.

The people who are slipping into the virgin way of life just now - more people than before - will be middle aged soon. If you want to get filthy rich, then figure out a way to sell things to psychotic virgin males and militant cat ladies ranging from 30s to 50s.

My own plan is to make a multiplayer porn game. Not like the ones that already exist, but I don't want to spill the details because unlike most ideas this one might actually be worth something.

>>18295271
i wonder how many male virgins there actually are, most of them never admit it

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>>18294896

why is everyone telling this poor guy to go to a therapist? Therapists would just tell him to put himself out there and to not worry about it, they don't teach you about beta virgins in school

>>18295296
Way the hell more than you would probably guess.

Modern culture has had a polarizing effect of alphas and omegas; this is on top of ho traditional marriage is damn near dead at this point. The future is a place of single mothers and otaku males.

>>18295322
what a fucking time to be a chad though

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>Obviously I have never once had a female attracted to me in my life and most likely never will

i would probably just kill myself if this was my outlook on life

>>18294896
Dude I am 23, only 5 foot 7 and I've had multiple sexual partners and have been in relationships lasting from a few months to a year and a half.

You need to seek help in changing the way you conceptualize this life because what you are asking to get advice on, the removal of women from your mind, is impossible.

You must instead change your head.

>>18295336
I mean height is one thing but I have all the negatives and no positives, the very fact you have been in a relationship means there's something attractive about you

there's nothing attractive about me and no therapist can change that

>>18295345
Damn bro its not like that.

I still watch anime and play vidya. I'm pretty scrawny and I don't have a huge dick. Granted I have expanded my hobbies beyond otaku stuff but you know..

Honestly if you can find away to be okay with platonic friendships with grills you can probably find some weeb club or whatever you're into with some chicks.

They don't have to be hot, but if you learn that they are people too it'll bring your game up a ton and you'll have fun.

Worst case you learn to cope, best case one of the girls takes a liking to you.

I've also had breakdowns at work due to sadness (not just the foreveralone part, but other insecurities, such as feeling like I've accomplished nothing to be proud of and time is passing me by and I'll die unfulfilled and I won't have mattered).

I dunno, they've happened a couple times. One of the times, I hid in the bathroom and nobody saw me. The other time, my supervisor addressed me curtly in a way that didn't actually bother me, but because I was already breaking down, I was sobbing and probably looked like a little bitch who cries because his supervisor yelled at him. I really hope he never mentioned that to anybody.

Just a couple of days ago, I was crying on my way home from work. At least it wasn't at work, so nobody I knew saw me. Still embarrassing, though.

Usually, I can keep it together, my depression is just like a hole inside of me that's always there, rather than, like, tears-running-down-my-cheeks crying. But every once in a while I buckle.

You need to see a therapist or take some LSD.

Everyone gets sad about life, it is a crushing experience to live, but you just need to find time to vent healthily and time to improve yourself.

Was there anything in particular that triggered your episodes?

>>18295271
Is there actual evidence that the amount of foreveralones is increasing? I know that the amount of unmarried and single people is rising, but that doesn't necessarily mean that those people are foreveralones. The fact that cohabiting unmarried couples is rising probably points to the people living together without tying the knot, and single people could still be having short-term relationships or hooking up.

I dunno, I've actually been interested in seeing research on foreveralones for a while now. Maybe because I am one, and I want to know what the statistics are, as well as see qualitative insights into the lived experience of it. Like, how many of us are there? If one is alone by, say, their mid-20s, what are the odds of them ever having a relationship (probability of future relationships must drop off with age, I'd think). What are the main causes of people being this way (I'd assume low self-esteem from childhood, lack of assertiveness, etc).

I know there is that one "Loveshy" book from decades ago, but it's exactly one book that doesn't seem to be peer-reviewed and is now only discussed by an online cult of creepy incels.

>>18295389
>You need to see a therapist or take some LSD.

Not OP, but I'm a depressed socially-anxious foreveralone. I've done LSD and I see a therapist and am on meds. They aren't quick fixes.

I know there are a lot of stories about people being, like, "changed forever" and shit because they dropped acid. It does have a number of positive effects (been shown to help people get off of addictions, help people under palliative care come to terms with their imminent deaths, fosters creativity), but it's still not the magic-drug they make it seem like in media. If you're a sadsack before taking it, you'll be a sadsack after taking it.

>>18295403
I don't think he would change overnight, and if one is on medications it can be dangerous to combine them with drugs.

You are correct, but anecdotally I have taken LSD (this is not including research chems and other drugs) like maybe 30 or more times since I was 16 and it has really helped me find my place in the world.

Jezus fuck this thread. Full of r9k candidates, self pity and giving up on life.

>>18294896
Change your life.
Buy prostitute.
Lower your standards.
Date single fat drug addict mom.
Get friends.

Or just die. Really, you have cone here with already broken will. I dont know how does one fix broken will. Because that is probably the only thing which keeps you going in life.

Are you sure you dont have just depression? Get professional help.

>>18295390
>forever alone
You are forever alone because you like it. Nothing is forcing you to step out from your comfort zone. So you live like that. Forevet alone. All you miss is posting pepe memes.

If you actually cared about not being alone, you would already befriended somebody.

Your problem is that you are actually comfortable in your current situation. Did i get it right? Or do you have some excuse like depression + autism + asperges + anxiety?

>>18295415
>If you actually cared about not being alone, you would already befriended somebody.

You are one dumb fuck mate. I'm completely isolated and I tried to befriend people because it is fucking annoying like that. But it never works, they talk to me at work or whatever but it never progresses past that.

And every few years when there's the chance to meet up with somebody they cancel on me shortly before. Yeah, it is really fucking easy. You have no idea how it is for some people and what is means to have absolutely no social circle.

>>18295415
>Or do you have some excuse like depression + autism + asperges + anxiety?

Literally diagnosed depression and social anxiety.

>Nothing is forcing you to step out from your comfort zone

I made an effort this past semester to try to make friends and talk to people.

Made a few friends. They seem to enjoy my company when I'm around, but I still always have to initiate. I don't hear from them unless I contact them first. That gets tiring after a while.

Also made an effort to start hitting on girls, getting their numbers, etc. Most girls don't text back, which I figured anyway. It's a numbers game, if you talk to people often, you'll get some dates.

Well, I've been on a few dates with a few different people in the past few months. None of them worked out. One of them, I decided to just be friends with her because I wasn't feeling it, but still value her (age gap had something to do with it, felt more like a little sis than a partner, so I lost attraction to her), the rest all rejected me. And out of the ones who rejected me, only one had the basic human decency to tell me she was no longer interested. The rest ghosted me, including one I really liked and thought I hit it off well with (in fact, she stood me up on what was supposed to be our third date, and hasn't talked to me since).

So yeah, it's not like I haven't tried. I've tried and I just keep on being shit on, and it's only cemented my perception that I'm not good enough to be loved.

I still have a date with another chick coming up next week. Hopefully that goes better. I'm still not over that other girl even though I know I should be, but I'll try to still let my upcoming date be a fun night.

If it's not, I'm pretty much all out of options, because the semester is over, and that was the only place I met women (it's a lot harder to get numbers anywhere other than on campus).

>>18294896
Take lots of drugs to prevent you from crying and gather money to fuck prostitutes. Try shrooms, heroin, weed , or a combination of the three so you can feel as much detached from this shitty social darwinist world as you can. You could also try terrorism if you're dissatisfied with the economic and sexual free market systems.

>>18295415
Why do these normies think r9k is a virgin board. Its been nothing more than normie and trap shitposting in the last 4 years.

>>18295592
>have friends
>goes on dates all the time
>bitches about not finding gf yet
>is still in school
You are anything but foreveralone.

I dont know what you are doing in this thread, but you certainly arent that pathetic sad existence like you like to pretend.

Also try
>lower your standards
if you want girl asap. Ghosting is very normal. And initiating thinhs with friends is also normal. You either do that, or suffer alone. I personally prefer bugging my friends to hang out with them.

>>18295551
>annoying
Sure. You dont like being alone, but also dont like doing anything to reverse it. Classical case of
>not stepping out from confort zone
Try more. Or die alone. Your choice.

But if you feel like bitching about it, do it in b or r9k. Not fucking here. Here will be always somebody annoying like me who will try to help you.

>>18295389
Psychologists are normies and cannot empathize with or emotionally support foreveralones. Only a virgin or a non virgin who lost it after 25 can.

>>18295635
>Psychologists are normies

If any class of people are less normie on Earth, it's fucking psychs. They're all headcases, why do you think they go into psych in the first place?

>>18295624
Youre not helping anyone. And for the record I enjoy these threads on adv more instead of "bros how do I lick her pussy" or "My gf/bf..." thread #12256432277

>>18295647
As a soon to be psychology grad student I second this.

>>18295624
>You are anything but foreveralone.

I literally didn't go on my first date until less than a year ago, at age 22.

Having "friends" is an even more recent phenomenon for me than that. You know normal shit like sitting with friends at a pub, seeing a movie, maybe taking a road trip out of town, having a party to go to on Halloween or New Year's? Those aren't experiences I know very well. I spend every New Year's watching fucking Ryan Seacrest do the countdown on the TV with my mom. When anybody asks me, "have you seen that new movie X yet?" the answer is always "no," because I don't have anybody to go to the theatre with. When I do find myself in pubs, I have no idea what to order or what the drinks are, because social things like drinking don't happen to me. I'm a fucking adult and I don't know gin from whiskey, I don't know what all these mixed drinks with hard liquors are. All I know is beer, and even then, I don't have an extensive knowledge of it, I just drink anything that isn't shit like Coors or Bud.

I am in school. There are foreveralones in school. Just because we don't have social lives doesn't mean we're all NEETs. We just go to school and don't talk to anybody and eat lunch alone and look at how everybody is talking to a friend and wonder what that's like.

>lower your standards

I'm not so desperate that I just want any girl. I want somebody that I feel compatible with, has similar interests and values to mine, and to whom I'm attracted. It would be exploitative to use some chick purely as a self-esteem boost rather than dating her because I legit care for her.

Literally anybody in this thread could get a gf if that's all they cared about. Drug addicts are in relationships. Obese people are in relationships. If I really just wanted one, even somebody as undesirable as me could find one.

But what we want is connection, not just empty validation. And I'm not sure that's possible for everybody anymore.

>>18295647
All the psychology students are basic bitches who get pounded in weekly frat parties and want to "make the world a better place XD". Males are average normies.

>>18295679
In my university

>>18295657
>not helping anyone
Sure. Because you fight
>foreveralone
by listening the echo chamber full of people with same attitude as yours.

As i told before, you actually like your status. If you really wanted to have some company, you would DO something. So again please, think hard for few minutes about your lives. Do you really hate living alone?

There are many options on how to get some social interactions. Fuck we live in era of internet. You can build relationships with strangers you never seen.

The only problem is you all stopped trying.

>>18295678
>22
I went to my first date at 24. Your point?
Your babling about missing experiences is just self pity. You didnt crave these things at your age, so you didnt bother with them.

>foreveralones in school
Then maybe help them by actually becoming their friends? You know nice people try to help others around them?

>not so desparate
See? You dont want relationship. So you never tried to date average girl. You want premium girl while you are practically shit boy with no experience.

All i can hear are excuses why you never tried. And you by giving me (you)s only shows how close to home i am hitting you.

So again
STOP THE SELF PITY TRAIN and start doing something with your life or stop pretending you hate yourself being
>forever alone

Cheers.

>>18294896
>have the personality of a doormat
That's insulting to the doormat. I'd rather listen to what it has to say than you.

>>18295700
>You didnt crave these things at your age, so you didnt bother with them.

Trying to tell other people what their own feelings are is a really shit way to try to give advice. You don't know me. You don't know the alienation I felt. Yeah, I spent my graduation night crying alone on the floor in my room because that was my passion and I had more interest in that than attending an after-grad and having fun like normal people do. Of course.

>See? You dont want relationship. So you never tried to date average girl. You want premium girl while you are practically shit boy with no experience.

Lol, not being so desperate to jump on anything with a pulse means I "don't want a relationship?" What do you think relationships are?

>All i can hear are excuses why you never tried. And you by giving me (you)s only shows how close to home i am hitting you.

Lol, the old "your argument proves my argument because the fact that you are arguing in itself must mean that I'm right" tactic. Hey, have you ever considered that sometimes people talk to you because you're actually wrong?

Also, lol, my posts were about how I've made a huge effort to change things recently, so I don't know where the "you never tried" thing came from.

We've all had the "if you only tried" or the "stop caring about social interaction and fix everything else in your life and people will just naturally flock to you, attracted to your non-caring zen-like energy you're radiating into the universe from being all fulfilled and shit" pep talks. It's kinda like telling a dyslexic person, "you're just bad at reading because you don't really WANT to be a good reader, all you have to do is try!" or "hey, if you get /fit/, get a six-figure job, and have cool hobbies like being a photorealistic painter and speedskater and pianist and escape artist and stop thinking that being able to read well will fix all of your problems, you will find that reading will come easier to you anyway because you'll be happier!"

>>18294896
Show a picture of what you look like

>>18294896
Wtf? 5'9 is a good height

>>18295759
You are cool dude. I dont know why you had such rough life at school, but it is clearly past for you.

You are just defending frogposters posting tfw no gf and forever alone memes at this point.

>what do you think relationships are
They are what you make them. For somebody it is just 6 months of fucking. For somebody else it is unicorn they were never worth obtaining in the first place. Imho it is better to jump on something with a pulse than to keep posting forever alone memes.

And you certainly arent foreveralone anymore. Sure you got some scars on your soul, but stop using it as an excuse in your future life.

And my ramblings were sort of aimed at other anons in this thread. Because you certainly dont need any shit advice anymore.

Dont hate me for my tries to attack your personality. I have found out it is the fastest way to force people out of their shell. And it worked again :-)

And i hope the other forever alone anons who went radio silence realized they can do better with their lives.

Bay.

>>18295823
You're all right. You're only trying to help.

Yeah, hopefully things turn out better from here on out. I think I'm only really bitter right now because I'm still obsessing about that one girl who I really really liked standing me up. All the other girls that rejected me, I was just kinda realistic about it, like "it is what it is, you can't win them all." But this one is going to take some time to get over.