Depersonalisation

>>18293813
hello there i dont have depersonalisation but derealisation. I dont know exactly how to fix it but im in therapy and talking didnt help. I have started SSRI's a week ago and will see if it gets better... Can you describe how it starts creeping up and your thoughts while its happening? And in which situations do they occur? When your alone or under people?

>>18293875
I don't want to take medication thats why I didn't see a therapist about it, even tho in the beginning I was terrified and I almost went to a therapist. In the beginning I was feeling it all the time, as if I do not know myself, as if my memories are someone else's and my body is not my own. After that it started occuring from time to time, usually when I am alone. Talking to people really helps me, especially friends I've had for a long time...as if they give me a sense of self.

>>18293898
what ybout your family? do you have family?
My problem is that i have a family but almost everyone if them lives in a different country.. We are all spread in Europe and my sister who is my closest family member lives in America so thats what triggers loosing myself and thinking my feeling that reality isnt real i guess.

>>18293913
Try talking to her on skype or on the phone as much as you can. I live with my parents now but I will hopefully be moving out soon which is kind of scary for someone with these toughts.

>>18293926
yes thats what i try to do but its not really like having a family around. In the end of the day i'm still on my own.
Since when do you have these reality problems? Do you smoke weed or do other drugs?

>>18293935
I used to smoke a lot of weed and I did some other drugs and I feel like this triggered some of my mental health issues. I don't do any drugs now. I've had anxiety for the last 2-3 years and reoccuring derealisation in that time, which is now almost gone. I've been experiencing depersonalisation since late last year, around december.

>>18293974
same here drugs especially weed triggers it still with me thats why i hardly smoke. I can only smoke certain types that dont make me think too much and keep me from getting into a loop. But I dont know if that makes a difference though.
Do you live in a country that was cold in december? It might have been lack of Vitamin D that triggerd it. Its funny because at about the same time i had a lot of panic attacks and hence derealisation, which then started coming without panic attacks. When I started taking Vitamin D it got a little better.

>>18294049
I havent heard that before, in fact it is really cold around here in the winter. Could be the vitmin D. It was really weird for me because the night when I first experienced it I wasn't anxious or having a panick attack...I was looking at some pictures of me and my friends and I looked at my face and suddenly it hit me because I couldn't relate to that face somehow...It was so terrifying I almost threw up. Until this day I feel like looking at myself in the mirror or looking at my face on pictures triggers it.

File: Derealization-Disorder.jpg (22KB, 502x333px) Image search: [Google]

22KB, 502x333px

>>18293974
I've smoked weed very heavily for the past four years and I've recently come to realize that it has definitely had a negative affect on my mental health. I never thought of myself as harming mental problems, but I've begun to notice that I have intrusive thoughts and anxieties that are just not normal. Pic related is how I feel most of the time, and even when I'm surrounded by 'friends' I feel extremely lonely like I don't belong. I don't know if I wanna talk to someone about it or try to get some meds, I don't think it's as debilitating as it could be.

>>18294061
So you knew that it was you on the picture but you didnt recognize yourself or you couldnt relate to the person you where back then? how old where you on the picture?

>>18294072
Yes i know what you mean are you depressed in general and for how long has this been going on? I can only tell you that it might magically go away but thats pretty unlikely unless its a problem you solve on your own. its always reassuring if you have someone to talk to. Even if they tell you that meds would be good, you dont have to take them if you dont want to, but in my oppinion you shouldnt let yourself suffer too much and just be honest with yourself and get some professional help. Even if you think that they will never fully understand. It feels better to have some support than being alone in this, even if it takes time to get better

>>18293813
yes, three years ago. It turned into schizophrenia, probably need to find help but i enjoy being in this phase too much

>>18294150
may i ask how your disorder shows?

>>18294165
i dont even know/remember most of it.

it started 5 years ago, i was 18 and wanted to become a big person, i was already strong mentally and physically, smart etc. But i wanted to get this to the absolute maximum. So i started getting productive, smarter, faster etc etc. After 2 years i was what i would call perfect, but i was also a very shy person, so whenever i had a problem or whatever i couldnt talk to others.
3 years ago i had a gf, i was doing everything perfect to make her happy, she was very very happy. I got her out of depression, problems etc and got her sky high. But this took a toll on me since she was a toxic person. She infected me with her shitty attitude and thoughts. Eventually i got in depression, but i had built myself up to be strong so i denied depression for maybe 4 years up to that point(was 17 when depressed heavily). Always told myself that depression was bs and i just had to keep myself up. After a while i lost myself, the way i talk, the way i walk, the things i do, the things i love and my life goals. Thats when i started getting really scared. then everything started.
I have never told anyone my full story, just little parts of it. I cant even tell myself what happened those days, but let me think and i will be back in a bit

>>18294186
Yes sure take your time.

OP here
>>18294072
I really feel like weed could fuck people up, especially if you live in a place where it's illigal and not very socially acceptable. Even the tought that you are doing something that is seen as negative could fuck you up if you are not very strong mentally. I really blame the weed for my anxiety because it unlocked the idea of a panic attack in my mind.
>>18294150
Well thats kind of unsetteling. You are the first case I'm hearing of when depersonalisation has become schizophrenia.

>>18294395
no actually it can be the beginning of schizophrenia. but doesnt have to.

Also:
>>18294109
I recognized myself and I knew that was me, I just didn't relate to her. It was maybe 1-2 years old, but it's not like I have changed that much visually. I feel like it's because I did a lot of dumb shit in my teenage years and now that I am growing up a little bit I am changing rapidly. Thinking about my points of view and the way I acted back then I can hardly relate to any of it, I'm a completely changed person now. Could the depersonalization be because I'm growing up and adapting to my new self?

>>18294448
Yes could be. But I am not sure if what you had right there counts as depersonalistion. I thought depersonalisation feels more like your body, personality and surrounding doesnt belong to yourself. As if you were watching yourself doing things and feeling things but what you are feeling and and seeing is not YOU. Of course you can find the person you where before unrelatable if you have changed a lot since.

>>18294489
Well all the things you listed happen to me. In the beginning it was a pretty strong feeling. I feel like now I am either used to it, or it is wearing off and I am coming back to myself again. I still get it from time to time, but talking to people really helps. Doing things that catch my full attention. Listening to music. I'm just looking for validation here so I know that I'm not completely bonkers and its not something too severe and it is something that will eventually go away.