How do I stop being a misanthrope?

Shameless self bump.

>>18293380
>find the topics of conversation invariably revolve around gossip, or asinine 'drama' or stupid memes or makeup or clothing, or I go to parties where people get even more boring and drunk.
Maybe you havent found the right people.

I've never been misanthropic, but for a long time I isolated myself from others because I, similarly, at least thought other people and I had nothing in common. I think a big part of being social is fostering the idea that maybe you and other people aren't so dissimilar, and finding people you are particularly similar to and can talk with. I honestly don't know what happened, but I feel by believing people were all fairly similar I really began to see it, and I enjoy exploring the ways I understand people, even friends I had in high school that in the past I only thought of as the people I happened to spend time with but really didn't get and who really didn't get me on any deeper level. Also, by meeting people with similar interests, I've found a lot of people pretty similar to myself.

>>18293434
But I don't know where else to look.

>>18293437
Where have you looked?

>>18293380
You misunderstand the purpose of most casual conversation.

Bear with me - I have to go sideways for a minute. Monkeys and apes like to "groom" each other, picking fleas and nits from each other's fur. But monkey-watchers have learned that grooming is really just an excuse for sitting together and expressing friendship.

Humans generally don't pick fleas off each other. But we make small talk, and for the same reason. WHAT is being talked about is of far less importance than the fact THAT we are talking. Gossip and other trivia are just an excuse to sit together and bond, signaling friendship and enjoying the group connection.

Pay less attention to - and be less annoyed by - the content of small talk, and learn to enjoy the friendliness that is the real point.

("Serious" and "meaningful" conversations are a different matter, and usually require some trigger situation. If you want to talk politics, join a political group, and so on)

>>18293447
Good point, but also
>("Serious" and "meaningful" conversations are a different matter, and usually require some trigger situation. If you want to talk politics, join a political group, and so on)
This is also a reward of establishing a good, real friendship. Look forward to it OP if you bear with the small talk, preliminary stuff

>>18293447
Aye this. Keep trying to have bullshit to discuss about and keep being amazed by that one friend who always keep talkin but never really has anything to say. It's more of an excuse than anything.

>>18293447
not OP but i believe this will help me with the same issue. i never saw the point of talking about the same things all the time at work, did i have a good sleep, if im doing well etc. It always annoyed me because it was the same conversation and they would already know the answer. thank you anon