ITT. I am a terrible student / person

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My mom has gotten more and more ill by the years. Shes constantly depressed, always yelling at me or my sister, shes always saying she doesn't want to live anymore. She suffers a lot of pain due to past accidents that have left her the way she is now. And most of the time shes remembering me how much time I've spend (wasted) in school and how little progress I've made. She couples this by telling me that her only dream is to see me graduate but that she might not live enough to see it.

I've spend almost 5 years in school and I dont think I am close to completing 60% of the program. I would be lucky if I said I did 50%.
See my situation and her situation? Its terrible, its a nightmare I've gotten myself into. I did bad and its all terrible now. This means I can't just simply drop because that means more yelling, more insults, and leaving my mother hopeless in bed.

And I cannot simply change because, not only I can't seem to think of anything else I would kind of like, but Mom would also yell at me, would say I won't make it, that I will take another 5 years, and that I will waste my life again and again. This will also make her feel bad, because this also means starting again so the chances of her not seeing me graduate are higher.

All of this sucks, I live a comfortable life thanks to my mother, we have a house, food, all a man could wish for. But deep within everything seems to be rotten. Mom is always screaming to us, to her, talking about bad / horrible things, with her I've come to see all the bad things in her life, mine to the point I am often hopeless. Not sad, not depressed, but just hopeless.

Now, another semester is about to end and I dont think I will do good. Same thing again, same slow progress, same cycle.

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This is a long post. And I am really expecting nothing.

I suppose I was just venting. But I dont feel any better now that I did.

Perhaps some words or insults would be alright?

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>>18293117

H-hey thanks for the Bump buddy

>>18292850
I don't know what I'm looking at but I think I need to say this is a SFW board.

>>18293136

Focus buen hombre.

>>18292850

Holy fuck I totally thought that was some kind of weird looking cock for a minute.

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G-Guys I know its an interesting picture but... Can I get some good words regarding my posts?

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>>18293344

:,,(

>>18292850
Live for yourself. Change majors and even social circle. Your mother could live untill then. Maybe speak with her so she can value the present instead of some projection regarding your future and her expectations.

Everyone takes terrible decisions. Life reminds this to everyone to varying degrees. It is within your power to change this.

Also try to check out if some meds could help. Nootropics, a good diet, exercise and sleep can help too.

>>18293377

Usually when one starts trying to make a deal with somebody else you should have something to deal with.

What I am saying with all my posts is that I have literally nothing to deal here. I literally fucked up, this is one of the worst case scenarios. I am a huge piece of shit and I just cant go to her ''Oh mom I am switching majors''. (to what? I have no idea)

I guess if I get a job I could justify it by saying ''No worries I am paying everything from now on'', but still, she kind of lost it already, shes highly unreasonable and most of the times she lets the pain talk and its really scary.

>>18293388
You are not going to make a deal with anyone but yourself. If someone offers anything, good. If not, that is fine too.

If she reacts like that, then there is nothing you can do. What I propose could lead to her understanding and you living your life as you see fit (THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT FIRST)...or at least just the latter. If you continue down this path, there will be two unhappy people in the end.

>>18292850
Are you paying for your own schooling, anon?
If that's the case, then your mom shouldn't say anything.

And "seeing you graduate" is a meme. Graduation means nothing if it's in some meme major with no career prospects, or if it's in something that you don't want to do.
She'll see you "graduate" then work at Starbucks or become a NEET for the next couple of years as you slowly realize how much your school fucked you.

Get an internship or job in something that kinda interests you. Or look into training/apprenticeship for a blue collar job that could pay pretty well.
Or find some careers you're interested in and research into those, ask people on reddit who are in those careers.
Glassdoor.com too

Do NOT waste your time, money, and youth in something that isn't working out for you.

>>18293388
Talk to a counselor at your school and get some leads on some careers.

If you don't like your major, it's best to cut your losses now instead of wasting more time and money.
You could ask for a leave of absence or just drop out (that is if your current college credits will stick around and not reset).

Get a job in something for a while, and it will give you perspective on what you want out of life and what kind of job you'd really like to pursue.

You should only pursue education if you're sure about a job that you wanna get, and if the education is a definite requirement for you to get that job.

Otherwise you're just being a retard and falling for "le college meme."
There are too many people out there thinking "omg i heard that if u go 2 college u will get a good job and lots of money ok i will enroll and get a bachelors in gender studies or psychology or philosophy ... ok so where's my job now?"

>>18294048
>Talk to a counselor at your school and get some leads on some careers.

But remember that counselors don't necessarily know shit about that field, so you should also go ask people who actually work in that field.

>>18292850
>>18292850
All in all it sounds like you graduated high school and hopped into college (high school 2.0) to delay entering "adulthood" for a couple more years.

At best, drop out, get a job, and pay for your own shit (food, clothes, entertainment, etc.).

There's no need to rush into college (if at all, even) if you don't know wtf you wanna do.

Then it can be many years down the line, but you'll start gravitating toward a job that you like to do more, or one that makes you more money.

Then to get that sort of job, you can start thinking about online classes, a trade school, an apprenticeship, whatever it takes to get that sort of job that you want.

>>18292850
Mods! that's potential erotic nudity on a blue board!

>>18293136
thats her foot
>>18293204
rule 1 of making a new thread, never use an image more interesting than your post content.

>>18294237

>her