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My life - in a first-world context - is shit, but feel I have absolutely no intention to undergo the amount of effort and painful change necessary to modify it (and for what, to become a fucking normie?!).
Something within my mind doesn't let me take that into serious consideration without punishing me with destructive and violent thoughts; it's like the idea of taking responsibility for myself is way too much for me to handle.
For example: I'm out of shape, but if I even think about exercising I end up feeling like I'd rather be torturing and killing people who do exercise, because they make me look bad.
I was taking meds (stopped for about a week now), but even then these thoughts would show up, leaving me with a deep dissatisfaction whenever I tried to suppress them.
I have very low tolerance for exertion and stress, and seeing how much life is about fucking struggling just makes me go insane.
I'm not ready to kill myself yet, so I'm not sure what to do.
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>>18291790
How about stop being such a lazy wuss and actually do something instead of complaining, nobody here will pity you.NOBODY.
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Self-bump
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>>18291790
Choice A: Do nothing and watch it getting worse and worse.
Choice B: Improve yourself, it might suck a bit more at start but at least it leaves the possibility for your life improving as well.
It's that simple and you seem to realize it yet pick the shitty option due your own laziness and no one can help you here.
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>>18291874
Easy for you to say.
I'm pretty sure you didn't grow up developing an avoidant personality in order not to face negative feedback, avoiding as many things as possible until laziness developed and became very much a thing.
But, sure, judge away. Who am I to tell you that not all fucking people work the same fucking way?
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>>18291884
>Improve yourself, it might suck a bit more at start
I don't think it can ever stop sucking, though.
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>>18291890
Not him and I had someone similar circumstances to you, and obviously it makes all a lot harder but in the end excuses don't help you in any way, besides they don't age too well. "My childhood sucks" is a decent excuse when you're in the early, maybe even mid twenties. Afterwards there is enough time to rewire your thinking and focus on the future. Again, not easy but perfectly doable.
>I don't think it can ever stop sucking, though.
Brains are pretty adaptable.
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>>18291937
>Brains are pretty adaptable
So I'm supposed to just suck all the fucking shit up in the hope that - one fateful day - it will no longer make me want to hurt myself and others?
Seems pretty immaterial to me.
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>>18291948
It's not really a hope, it's pretty much given if you stick to self improvement. Wouldn't expect huge results before a year or two though.
>Seems pretty immaterial to me.
Even if we assume it's just a hope, if one way offers chance to betterment and another guarantees that shit will suck even more in the long run, it's hardly a tricky decision which to take.
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