Cousin has/does Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy?

serious shit. if she won't listent to sense, talk to the kids father, your own parents, etc.

last resort: social services. you're smart enough to know what that means though.

>>18291658
The father works a lot and he is the beta in the relationship. He seems to just go along with whatever she wants. His father is a pediatrician and she hates him. She always disregards his opinion and when they first conceived and he offered to help with neo-natal care she refused. He is a good doctor, rated really well.

I told my father (her uncle. He raised her for about 2 years) about some of my concerns, and we're going to talk more on the phone tonight rather than text.

She truly does seem to love her kids, though. It doesn't seem malicious. And she supports me verbally in my life choices (moving across the country for example) that some family hesitate over.

That is why I don't want to immediately call CPS. But it seems I should if this goes any further. He already has an n-tube anyway.

It is just so weird that the kid is completely fine with a full appetite every time I'm around him. My grandmother says "that child can eat!" because my other cousin's kids are kinda picky.

>>18291682
>He already has an n-tube anyway.
I'm sorry, dude, I realize this is a tough situation for you, but you should have already called CPS.

This is Munchausen syndrome. Absolutely no doubt about it. It's a textbook example - literally, your post could have been included as an example in a psych textbook and nobody would blink an eye.

Munchausen syndrome by proxy is widely considered a form of child abuse. Your cousin is abusing her child. Not deliberately, and I'm not saying she's an evil person, but then, not all abusers are horrible people - some of them are just mentally ill themselves. That describes your cousin. This has gone far enough already, and somebody has to step in. Immediately.

It's not fair that it has to be you, but it sure doesn't seem like anybody else is going to.

Well, that said - CPS is a last resort, so if you can make any headway by talking to her or another close family member, then obviously you should do so. From what you've written I doubt you'll be able to, but obviously I'm not advising you to go nuclear if you don't actually have to.

But something has to change, and quickly, BEFORE he has any more invasive procedures done. So unfortunately I suspect you'll have to.

Sorry, man. Good luck.

>>18291888
I don't know why. I think every single member of my family has criticized her for health specific shit at some point. She just disputes them and tries to act like she's more intelligent. She is, she went to a top engineering university and used to work for Lockheed. For some reason I guess family feels less inclined to confront her?

>>18291902
Thanks for the well-wishes. I feel if I talk to my dad when he gets to his house so he can talk on the phone will be a first step, since he's had some insight into my cousin's life by taking care of her for a couple of years when she was a child.

I don't want to rip apart the family is the only issue. My aunt (said cousin's mother) is kind of bipolar and even though her and that cousin fight, she would likely blame me if CPS investigated. She already has a tense relationship with her brother, my father.

But this is a child. Does CPS stay anonymous with reports?

>>18291682
Jesus fucking Christ, CPS this situation right now, I swear to God. All psychopaths "truly love their kids", and they still fuck their lives to pieces, because that's how it works. The father is an enabler. This is so textbook it hurts. Save that kid's life right now.

CPS will not release your identity, for all the obvious reasons. They don't want people to be too afraid of alienating their family members to tip them off. You can always make the report anonymously if you want but you don't need to; the won't betray your confidentiality.

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>>18292106
Okay I'll be sure to let my father know that too. He sees the child more than I do.
>>18292091
Yeah it is starting to look more and more that way. Here is a Facebook post where she seems almost gleeful about sorting the kid's medical supplies.

Update:

Called my dad. She has been trying to keep this from our side of the family through limited contact and I just haven't gotten the guillotine of privacy on Facebook yet, guess it slipped her mind.

Her father in law (the pediatrician I mentioned in another post) called her sister, who also knew nothing of the boy's hospital visits and "condition" because my cousin was hiding posts from her. The father in law tried to talk my cousin out of the procedure, but she hung up on him. Thus he turned to her sister. Said sister after learning this calls their mother (my aunt) to inform her of the g-tube.

My aunt babysits these kids from time to time, but we haven't seen them since Thanksgiving. She was concerned of course because this is her grandchild. My cousin was abrupt and evasive with her, and apparently hung up on her too.

I went through her Facebook and screenshot and downloaded her entire mobile uploads album. A lot of them are her being excited about new medical equipment, pictures of her son in the hospital bed and closeups of things like PICC lines in him.

I found out my whole family is actually concerned and it is coming to a head with this procedure.

I think we're going to talk with the father-in-law, my aunt, and my father and make a decision from there.

How should we go about contacting CPS in another state? We all live in different states. What kind of evidence would they require for a case like this?

>>18292588
>tl;dr she hangs up on anyone who tries to talk with her about this, blocks family on Facebook so they don't even know there's anything wrong, and has concerned pretty much the whole family
>how to start compiling evidence to make sure the kid gets safe?

>>18292590

Its CPS's job to compile evidence, not yours. Legally, they're not even really allowed to communicate with you about the status of the case once it becomes an official state inquiry. Present them the information you have at hand and let them do their job but, for the sake of the children, do it immediately.

>>18292618
Yeah I read online the g-tube is one of the classic signs.

My aunt and father are going to FaceTime or whatever you call it with the father-in-law and go from there.

She is forcing her husband to cut ties with most of his family too it seems.

The reason I asked was because in these cases where there's online evidence the suspect deletes everything.

One last bump before bed.

The other reason I'm uneasy with CPS is because one of my best friends was just flung from home to home and mistreated by the system.

I dunno, hell, my husband and I would take the kids even though we don't have any of our own yet. But we would require state aid. They could stay with my aunt or even my father I guess.

I just don't want them in foster care. But I don't want the kid to die. From the more I read into this Munchausen the more she seems the textbook example. Apparently every single victim of this had a g-tube, and their parents posted pictures of them in hospital to social media.

Sorry to spam my own thread, I'm just sad and it hasn't registered that she is capable of doing this.

look, you've got medical specialists - and a pediatrician to boot - in the family
she's a nutjob and vannot be reasoned with.
get the grandad to try and get her to understand she'll be cut out of the will, made a ward of the court or whatever.

and get the husband on board - tell him it will only get much much worse.

>>18292903
Screenshot everything you can. And contact her husband. I believe the immediate family can adopt children before they're flung into foster care, but I don't know the specifics for the US