How do I get over this?

2/? Dinner was nice; my father, brother and I went to a fancy steakhouse downtown. As I expected, there were of course some sobering moments in the conversation about Mom's passing earlier that year, and by the end of things I was feeling rather emotionally raw, but overall happy for the future.

Meanwhile, I get a text from E telling me that she wants to spend the night at P's and that I can come too if I want. It's a long drive out to the suburbs but I don't want sit at home alone while everyone else has fun so I head over after dinner. When I finally arrive is when things start to get bad. As I step in the front door to say hi to E, P, and two other friends of P whom I am meeting for the first time, E says, loud enough for everyone in the room to hear: "Wow, that shirt is hideous!" This instantly takes the wind out of my sails. I thought that if only I'd followed her instructions, E would leave me alone about my clothes, but now I've messed up and am getting mocked for it in front of people I'm only just meeting for the first time.

I don't want to cause a scene, so I send her a text reading, verbatim: "It'd be cool if you didn't put me down immediately when I'm meeting other people for the first time." E replies, "I'm sorry! It was just a joke", insisting furthermore that she doesn't think anybody else took it that way. I start to breathe a sigh of relief and feel a little silly for overreacting, but then she adds several more texts telling me that it's unreasonable to expect her to change her "sense of humor" and that I was "accusatory and passive aggressive" to say what I did. I was only trying to resolve the one little conflict over the shirt, but apparently it was interpreted as an attack on her character in general, because she says, "I don't think this is the time or place to send me texts about things you dislike about me."

3/?

By now I'm extremely stressed out. Not only have I messed up wearing the right clothes but I'm also a bad person for asking (admittedly, I could have phrased it in a more diplomatic way) not to be made fun of about it in front of strangers, which seems like a reasonable request to make of anybody, let alone the people you care about. I also can't grasp the humor in telling somebody they look hideous with no context, and feel like some kind of loser for not getting the joke when everyone else understood it. The next few hours I basically just sat there feeling like garbage while the people around me had a good time, and my skin crawls underneath the shirt I'm wearing, which had felt like such a heartwarming gesture earlier that day but is apparently ugly enough for everyone in the room to make fun of.

Finally it was time for bed. E and I are staying together in a guest bedroom upstairs. I try to explain that, while I am all for teasing in general, this particular incident hurt my feelings because 1) she tells me what to wear all the time, so it's hard to tell lighthearted comments about my clothes from serious criticism, 2) this particular shirt, on this particular day, has some important sentimental value to me, and 3) we were in mixed company, and it's worrying that she would try to make me look bad in front of people I'm meeting for the first time. E disregards all of these points, insisting that her "sense of humor" is sacrosanct and immutable, and that as long as I am around her I should expect this kind of thing and never complain. By now I'm crying. I don't understand why such a seemingly-nice person, who ostensibly cares a great deal about me, would insist that my feelings are always subordinate to her ability to crack jokes at my expense. I'm not even asking her to change at this point; I'm just explaining why my feelings were hurt badly enough to spur me to send the text message earlier.

4/4

I try to explain my position one last time: "E, when you make fun of me like that, and insist that I shouldn't care about it even though I do, it makes me feel like you don't care about me." She tells me that I might as well give up on the relationship then, as if I'd just asked her to move to France with me. I begin experiencing the first and only panic attack of my life. My head spins, my eyes water up even more, and most of all I feel my heart pounding like an avalanche. I realize I'm about to vomit, and stumble towards the bathroom for a toilet, but E tells me to stop, since P's room abuts the bathroom and he might hear what's going on, so I grab a pillowcase off a shelf and throw up inside it. I'm ashamed of the stench in my mouth so I lay back in bed, on my side, facing away from her, and cried myself to sleep. She left me alone there on my side of the bed. Things never got better; we somehow didn't break up for another month, most of which she outright refused to talk to me so she could "think things over". I didn't leave, even though I'd felt miserable for a long time now about being put down all the time, mainly because E had actually convinced me that the whole debacle was my fault and that things would get better if only I stopped complaining about things that hurt my feelings.

It's been like two years now and I still have nightmares about this relationship. None of it makes sense to me. I just can't figure out why someone would transform like that so quickly.

in a nutshell:
she's a bitch and
you're her bitch.

solution:
ditch her
man up
find a proper girlfriend.

>>18291273

>ditch her

done

>man up

explain?

>find a proper girlfriend

I've dated two people since and it went really well (ended each time because of life stuff like graduating college), hasn't helped much

>>18291601
stop dragging this corpse along with you.
stop being so uber-sensitive either.
there are lots of resources to help you do this.
I wish you good luck.

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>bosses you around and makes fun of you
>obviously testing how you would react because women
>instead of being a man and putting her in her place you cry and puke in a pillowcase
>proceed to completely go beyond beta male to omega male and cry yourself to sleep

Honestly you sound like a pussy, but she's also did zero favors for you as well.
You simply made a mistake of getting into an abusive relationship. Mistakes happen, but we must also learn from them. Our past forges us into who we are. Use that past experience to fortify yourself and make you emotionally stronger, by learning to stand up for yourself.

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>>18292728
Lol "abusive"

>>18293462

If your partner is shitting on you all the time and trying to control you, then starts gas-lighting you when you call them out on it what would you call that? "Quirky"?