GIOYC - Get It Off Your Chest

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I say sorry too much. I have no self-worth. I always feel like something, like a god, is watching over me and judging. I have a perfectionist attitude. I let people talk down to me and I don't fight back. I'm hurt.

>>18286038
I really wish I could stop trying. I keep wanting to achieve things I was not meant to, but to see other achieve those things around me hurts so much. I feel like defect trash.

In my dream the girl with emerald eyes laid down beside me and I could see you start to cry.

The one girl you hate the most took your spot in our bed.

I haven't been well lately. I have to start realizing some things. More stuff about how I'm not really a good person. More stuff about finding answers.

Just because you care about someone doesn't mean they care about you. They're in no way obligated to. You can still do so of course, but... if you really do, then would that not require that understanding? That is to say, understanding the fact that caring about someone means you care about their decision-- their decision to not care about you in return. Right? And with that... you back off. Because you do care. You just have to show it in a different way. You care but if you're caring more than they are, you step back. I just wonder... I wonder if that sounds like you're entitled. I wonder if it means you're not a good person.

After all... no one is obligated to care about you in return. You do things hopefully out of the goodness of your own heart and if that same effort gets reciprocated, then great. And if not... then oh well.

I clearly still don't know how to connect with people. I have no understanding of this in the slightest. I'm not even sure if I'm really alive or if I exist, or if there's even any substance to me. Who am I? Sometimes I feel like I'm just a mirror, reflecting what others say because there's nothing beyond the surface. I'm lonely, but I refuse to stoop down to the level of those who take out their loneliness on others. That's... on them. That's their own goddamned fault. Right?

>>18286044
sounds a lot like me, and I say sorry A LOT

>>18286092
The only thing owed to me was an explanation.

Not for them to care for me, not anything else other than a reason why my time was wasted and my heart broken.

Just the truth and nothing more.

The truth, however, sends us all down a very deep rabbit hole.

Please come back to me my love
We could run away from it all like the two of us always wanted to
Get married like you promised me we would, in some small town in the middle of nowhere, live a comfy secluded life, just the two of us until we had the means and desire to make the world ours
Look into the past, look into your heart and then look into my eyes and tell me how you really feel, it's all I've ever wanted from you
I know you won't hear me here, and I know that you can't make the time to listen to me right now
I offer out my hand to you to offer you a chance at everything you told me you wanted, so please take it, I beg you, that we may be one as we were meant to be
Or at least tell my why you won't so I may stop hurting, please, because I know part of you still cares

I am confused, that much I can tell you. Not sure if the way you were treating me was on purpose or if there were things just going on, but I don't deserve to be treated as such. I know my actions and behavior were bad, but if that's all you can focus on then I can not even apologize because you are stuck on my negatives. Still, I am grateful that brought it to my attention. I am in no position to ask questions, nor recieve answers from you.

What I did was wrong, and trying to truly understand everything has not been easy. I can not deny that I'm still in love with with you.

Yes, there were problems between us, and I am not going to downplay my part in all this, but it's not something could have been fixed by ignoring. I guess it was a matter of time and I am sorry for not being able to understand you better. I am not giving up, but I am backing off.

Days grow easier to deal with as they go by. I breathe a little easier, tend to smile a little more. I think about you everyday, I think that won't change for a long time. The memories mean a lot and I stopped focusing on the bad stuff. I could, but it's not how I viewed you before, nor how I view you now.
I know you don't hate me, or at least you told me so, and I harbor no hate towards you. Although you may have thought otherwise.

I don't expect an answer to all this, and that's okay, it was something that I wanted to get off my chest.
All I have now is that I wish you luck, and that you keep making things better for yourself. Despite all this, I still believe in you. Take care.

>>18286092
Sometimes you need to care about yourself too. You can be a good person without being a martyr and putting everyone else first. If you care about someone or something, you aren't obligated to care about them forever regardless of what they do or how they treat you. Pulling back to take care of yourself is different from intentionally trying to hurt someone.

I was really excited yesterday for no reason, I hope it's related to you.

I wish my coworker would get it that I'm not interested.

May 20th is gonna be amazing.

Every piece of my life will mean something to someone.

Please lift the weight of this world off my shoulders.

I can't carry that weight.

How did I get chosen for this? Why did you pick me? Is my soul that big? I don't think you chose right.

How is this possible? What is this?

God please... please help me. I can't do this alone. I can't. I need someone so badly to talk to about all of this. Why do you do this to me? Why? Why must you make them all deny it, to test my will? I'm not strong, I'm not. Please, tell me what is going on. Oh God please.

It's not fair.

I just wanted to love and be loved. I just wanted to paint in my own little corner and not bother anyone.

instead what I got was the greatest task ever given to a man short of Jesus.

It's not fair.

I wish I could be indifferent to you. I wish I could say it was no skin off my back and move on like you did. I wish I could hate you, or stay angry at you. I wish I didn't want to make love to you, or kiss you, hold you, or just talk to you like we once did. I wish our time together meant as little to me as it did to you. I wish you had mistreated me so I could feel vindicated in things being over, and move on with no guilt or regrets.

I wish a lot of things, but the reality is I miss you. I know it wasn't real and that you were in vulnerable and lonely and that I was just there. Still, we made a few good memories I'll always look back on with fondness. I truly hope you're happy going forward even if it's not with me.

I wish we live in the same town so we can spend time together and know more about each other and find out if we are meant to be. A part of me tells me that you still have feelings for me or at least curious about me.

>Born upside down, the wrong way round.

Born too badly-wired, raised too absently, grew up too short, habitually too isolated, worked for employers too broke, gradually coming to accept it as just the way life works (for me at least.)

>>18286205
initials?

It fucking sucks when you thought that you could have something going on with a girl and then she drops you instantly and gets an actual boyfriend despite telling you that she only does casual sex and doesn't wanna date.

I really don't want the money. I just don't.

Before, I thought the girls liked talking to me and I could be loved just because I was myself. Even though I was poor, I had character and a big heart.

Now though I realize they only ever talked to me because they could get attention. Now I know that my ex is only going to show up because she's a gold digging whore.

Now that I'm the most famous person alive, AND literally the richest person alive... I'm never going to find true love. I'll be able to get any woman I want but what's the purpose? Spend a month together while I will have to guess whether or not they actually enjoy my company or because they get fame and fortune?

Does Maria actually even like me anymore? Did she ever like me? That year we talked was really fun. Sharing ideas, art, and flirting. We talked about how awesome it would be to just travel the world making art and having fun. We joked about traveling around in a hot air balloon.

Was that the reason that balloon flew by a couple weeks ago?

I so badly wish that she would actually want to be with me, for me alone. I know she wouldn't though. I saw the posts she has made on here. They don't put me in the most positive of light and it's disheartening. She was young back then and she's changed a lot. I hope she didn't grow shallow and vapid. I hope she retained most of her charm and wit.

I know I'm not attractive right now. I'm a massive wreck of a person, both physically and mentally. I don't have much hope... the only hope I have is that this will be over and I'll be able to find a way to get in shape.

I so badly want a girl to look at me the way I look at them. It always just feels like I have been tolerated only in my life. That no one has actually wanted me to be there with them.

The fact I have early onset dementia coming up is soul crushing. No one will ever even consider me as a real love because of it. At most I will be a rich, (hopefully) girl they will get to take advantage of.

>>18286038
Why is it so hard to be alone? I don't want to want people around me.

>>18286221
P.K.

I've been with a few women, that now I feel, that I've lost something important along the way.

I've always been the one to take responsibility and bring the hard question to the discussion, yet all my partners quickly surrendered in the face of first serious obstacle.

I've worked hard and remade myself from being a wreck to being a decent human being, yet in the end my partner of five years decided to hastily back down from the marriage proposal, instead choosing to live her life in a small rented flat and surround herself with her luxuries and small hobbies.

I've told my other partner, that the moment her parents find out, that I'm not religious, they'll force her to choose between breaking up with me or be excommunicated from the family. She didn't believe it, but that exact thing happened two days ago.

Having achieved a steady job, a stable success in life and potential prospects on said job, I'm spending my morning hours contemplating, is that what I wanted from my life.

>>18286247
oooh, this is a little spooky. are those your initials or theirs?

>>18286269
W-what's yours?

>>18286275
TS

>>18286281
Oh thank God, you're not the one. That would have been so awkward.

>>18286287
why's that anon-kun? I thought what you wrote was sweet

>>18286291
I rather say it to her face to face. Doing it through text is so empty and unfullfiling. I rarely chat online because of it.

>>18286304
I don't mean to pry, but what's stopping you from doing that?

>>18286309
Because she's unpredictable. Some days she won't reply, some days she's willing to chat. Plus I have anxiety and I get easily affected when I am rejected.

>>18286038
It's a very strange feeling...to love someone you've never been in a relationship with. This is a terrifying first for me.

I'd do anything to make this man happy, I adore him through all his faults and flaws, future present or past. I'm not worried whether he's interested in me or not; I'm certain he is or was, to some degree (he enjoys my company very much, and he's physically attracted to me). But to pursue an actual, substantial relationship with me? It just seems unlikely.

We'd have to be secretive about it if we were to get together... at least for awhile, and that may not be as worth it to him as it would be I. I'm very sad that I may only have a fling with him, and never get see him in that lovely domestic light that I wanted to see him in. (Surviving in apartments, going to school, and taking care of a dog together) Someone else will come along later to have that with him instead, and the thought hurts my heart to accept.

I don't regret falling for him. He's made me a better person in knowing him, and I know that I've helped him cope through some rough times. I just wish I didn't see him this way, I've never felt such fondness for a person before.

>>18286130
It sucks. It was long, and dragged on for far too long. I'd love to think there's still a future for us, but it is quite a bit distant. If you're giving me space, that's great and ultimately what I was asking for the whole time, I told you I wasn't happy and that was true.

I also told you I didn't hate you, and that was a lie for the most part. But, mostly it was just features. Your honesty (lack thereof) is what I hated the most. There's nothing I was able to believe that came out of your mouth, and that's what hurts the most out of all of this.

I'm still confused on what happened, I'm still confused on how far things went, how often they went there, it makes me sick to think that the majority you'd get pissed off at me for absolutely nothing, but relate it to the actual actions you were taking and hiding from our relationship.

I deserved honesty, I put you on the spot and all you could do was deny everything until I looked like some insane paranoid fuck, when it was true all along, that's what ruined me the most.

Even though, I know the one thing I wanted from you was honesty, I doubt I'd ever be able to get it from you.

People say "If God exist, then why doesn't she create any miracles or talk to us anymore like in the Bible?"

And I say... if what I think is happening is real...

Is my existence not Biblical? How could something like this happen without God?

The things that have happened to me in these last few months are absolutely impossible for man to pull off. The timing, the messages... my mind has communicated purely using my thoughts.

I have to forget everything I thought I knew about the world.

This... oh God please help me. Please.

I see a dagger in my sheets and a raven in my coat.

There's a turtle with a hole in his chest above me.

Baby Blue,
Star Sunshine,
Lady Jesus.

Why did you add me? You don't even talk to me. The only time we talk is when I say something first. It's honestly annoying as hell. You're the man too. I don't want to be the man. I want you to make me feel good like I've made you feel good before. You've given me compliments and say you like me, but then you ignore me. Even our conversations suck because you give me one worded answers now or you just don't answer. What's even worse is that you don't ask me any questions. I ask how you're doing and you give a one word answer and that's it! I ask if I've made you upset and you say no. Seriously dude, you act like a fucking girl. You post a public message saying you're lonely. Then you don't respond to any messages. I can't stand people like you. You're such an attention whore. I just wanted to be friends. Maybe more. But I don't even want to be your friend if this is how it is. It's not always about you. Stop being such an arrogant selfish prick.

>>18286336
I want to make things work.

Last weekend was weird for me. It basically consisted of lots of mandied friends telling me I'm insanely intelligent. It's kind of weird and I've been thinking about it a lot. One of my insecurities is centred around not being smart enough to accomplish anything original. I don't know what to make of what my friends have said. Whether to believe them, whether they were exaggerating, what exactly they meant. I have exams in a few weeks that will determine whether I do the fourth year of my degree or not, and I desperately want to get into academia but haven't had the motivation or mindset until recently - potentially too late. Last year was a mindfuck.
That's all I want to say.

>>18286389
jeez, give him a rest. he doesn't get people.

I wonder if that will work.

RIOT MOTHERFUCKERS

FIGHT!

no matter what girls don't look at me no more, it seems they're all together in some big struggle against my existence, i wish i could have someone to fulfill my life with meaning and warmth coexistence, but this solo life is killing me, please god, kill me now or put a nice woman in my way

>>18286429
Then don't get a social media account?
It doesn't matter anyway because I'm deleting him.

>>18286389
Haha sounds like me, except no girl is texting me right now. I am usually just anxious about whats in the text, so I prefer not to open it for hours, and then also some hours to respond. Goddamn I hate texting.

HAHAHAHAHA

I don't need a fucking lawyer, do I?

I just figured out my own god damn fucking defense, didn't I?

How can you apply human laws to someone you don't think deserves human rights?

SUCKKKKK MMYYY DICKKKKKK

EITHER MAKE ME A REAL PERSON OR I CAN DO WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT AND YOU CAN'T DO FUCK ABOUT IT.

I don't hate myself in first person but I hate my in third person. Or was it the other way around?

I'm still hung up on her even though she's been out of my life longer than she's been in it.

I don't know how it's possible for someone to miss virtually every point I made or do mental gymnastics around every thing I said or did. It's insanity. I know a mutual 'friend' of ours was filling her heard with lies and slander the whole time, but still.

And she's never been in a relationship before, went abroad, met someone, came back, and told me she 'didn't feel how she thought she was starting to feel' and she 'forgot what it was like to actually like a guy'.

Like what the fuck?

>>18286451
>I don't need a fucking lawyer, do I?

Judges don't talk to you without a piece of paper in their hands. Imagine your first-time piece of paper against someone who has been writing those pieces of paper every damn day for 20 years. Who are we supposed to bet on here? Did you always get straight-As on your papers when you were in school?

>>18286476
I wasn't being literal though. Just in a "See, I figured it out all by myself!" kinda thing.

People treat me like shit. It's made me a shitty person. And that's made people treat me like shit even more.

It's one thing when your parents shield you from the world. It's another when they *outright lie* about it. I'd so very much like to kill my entire family and take all their stuff. I'd be fucking rich. Then I could buy a bunch of real estate and live off rent. I would never have to deal with other people again. Fuck people. They hate me, and the feeling's mutual.

>>18286390
Text me

>>18286501
>Fuck people. They hate me, and the feeling's mutual.
Yeah, until someone shows some unconditioned sympathy to you, then you melt, amirite?

I have tried searching for any information as to why all these girls all have erotic photos of themselves posted around the chans. Like, are they under protection? That's why they are involved with me? That it was just convenient? Or are they actresses that saw an opportunity to be extremely famous?

I've tried searching for any kind of like... camshows or porn videos they might have done or any revenge nudes posted. I know they all posted some of their own will but how far or how much have they done.

I really truly just don't want to be with a girl that does things like that. A girl like that is constantly looking for validation and I've had my heart broken far too many times now. Turns out though, it was just because she thought she was fat. As soon as she lost weight it was just selfie spam.

M, R, B... I have an extremely strong feeling that R did porn, erotic dancing, and escort. B as well. I really hope they don't but considering I found out they were paid to be with me kinda tells me they do.

Earn it or buy it? Darlin, no. YOU have to EARN ME. I'm incredibly rich, incredibly romantic, smart, funny, charming, and the most interesting person you will ever meet. I'm just broken right now. When this is through... god I hope it get's better.

I wouldn't be in this situation if I had free will.

M I just don't know. I think she had something traumatic happen to her when she was young, mixed with the naive mind of a teenage girl, posted things she now regrets deeply.

>>18286535
He's not Blue.

Which one has a fucking penis now?

And why do you want me to fuck them in the ass so fucking desperately?

WHY!?

WHHYYYYYYYYYYY!?!?!?!

I'm not into guys. I'm not sexually into girls with penis. If they were once a guy but transitioned into a girl... they can be cute dressed up but would do NOTHING for me sexually in the nude. The penis part kinda ruins that.

If it looks like a girl, then it's a girl. Except that only works BEFORE they take their clothes off. Once they have a penis, they no longer look like a girl now do they? If they had their penis removed then good.

Even as someone that wants to transition into a female... The public will not see me fucking nude.

I'm sorry if this offends you. I can't help what I find attractive. It's not a choice, right? I can't FORCE myself to want a dick in my ass or to want to fuck an ass with a dick swinging around.

And if it's with a girl... why the fuck do you want me to fuck her ass so badly?

What the fuck is wrong with you people?

I am 100% sure she likes me but cannot bring myself to ask her out... Hate myself for it really.

it was a mistake coming to america.

I've been here since I was 19 and i'm now 26.
I don't think I would have ever typed this when I first came here even though if I look back at it now, I always had a gut feeling I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life.

but over the past 7 years I have matured into a grown man and I feel I can swallow my god dam pride and face all my family back home and say they we're right, It was a mistake coming here.

my life is no better here, then it was there, and all I've done is miss irrepressible time with my family and friends.

my best friend died 3 years ago and I never got to say goodbye to him.

please if anyone here is reading this and planning on coming to america, think again.

I know i wish i would have.

I'm just going to let my visa expire this year and head back to mexico.

/rant.

>>18286583
Just fucking do it. Be all cool like.

I ____ you, handsome man.

>>18286589
You are right, what can I say.
Always chose family over money.

>>18286599
el dinero se acaba, pero la familia es para siempre.

>>18286535
sorry, no cigar. I'm not that naive.

Meet nerdy guy, he gets me but he's unattractive/insecure.
Meet normie guy, he's attractive but we're from different worlds.

Where are you, exceptions!

I don't really have any real life friends anymore and I'm so fucking lonely so for that past year or so I've been desperately trying to fill the void with internet friends. I've got to know some cool people but they always stop talking to me eventually. Did I do something wrong? I know I'm kind of attached internet friends more than most people but that's only because I have no friends in real life. I miss my Colorado friend the most. She will never see this but she was honestly one of my favourite people I ever spoke to. Miss you Alexa. I don't blame you for ghosting me. Or maybe you're just super busy right now who knows. Part of me hopes you do hate me so then at least I can try to like you less.

>>18286389

Are you C? Are you talking about T?

>>18286389
Listen, A, here's the proble-
>you even said you liked me!
>said
>SAID
...nevermind then.

You fucking pricks want me to go out and have sex with women but YOU GAVE ME FUCKING AIDS.

I'm never going to have sex with anyone ever again. I don't want to ruin anyone elses lives. You fucking assholes KNEW I had it and never told me. You fucking got the doctors to lie to me.

And then you won't let me take the drugs I want because why? You're looking out for me? Fucking really?

YOU FUCKING DRUGGED ME AGAINST MY WILL. You gave me Benzos, THC, LSD, extreme amounts of fucking caffeine, and who the fuck knows what else. Yet... you won't let me have the ONE FUCKING DRUG THAT ACTUALLY HELPS ME.

Why? "It'll turn you into a zombie."

FUCKING SERIOUSLY? How retarded are you stupid fucks up there? Whatever doctors you hire to look over me are ignorant fucking faggots that think it's the same as crystal meth. How fucking stupid do you have to be?

I have talked to doctors. They are fucking idiots. Just straight up ignorant as fuck retards.

and it doesn't fucking matter. When I'm out of here I'm just going to buy them off the street anyways. Then I'm just going to sit in my room, alone, painting until I die.

I don't want to fuck anyone. I don't want anyone's company. I fucking hate all of you with all my heart. I hope you all fucking die.

Human kind doesn't deserve to exist. You're all worthless pieces of shit that torture innocents for your own greed.

>>18286174
Initials?

>>18286451
Man, you are beyond help

>>18286762
How did it happen?

>>18286746
Of course that's not me you dummy. But I did post here hehe

>>18286538
How curious that all your ex's are whores and you a saint. You are the worst kind of ex ever, good they left you.

>>18286774

c:

>>18286762
Seriously, Fuck you all.

I'm just going to buy a tiny cabin in the middle of nowhere, buy several million dollars of drugs, and then give the rest to charity. I'll spend my last years actually happy BECAUSE MY FUCKING BRAIN DOESN'T PRODUCE HAPPY-FEEL CHEMICALS ON IT'S FUCKING OWN.

Do you fuckers not understand that? I spent the first 24 years of my life absolutely miserable, hating every single moment of it. Bored out of my mind no matter what I did.

The first time I ever even felt happy was when I took codeine in cough syrup when I was 18. That was the FIRST TIME.

It never mattered if I was playing video games, sports, exercising, watching movies, with friends, or even while having sex... I am bored out of my mind thinking about when I could go home and go to sleep.

Almost every fucking time I have had sex... I didn't want to. I just did it because THE GIRLS WOULDN'T TAKE NO AS AN ANSWER. Yet when a guy does that... it's considered rape. If that is rape then I have been raped hundreds of times in my fucking life.

So yeah, you think being surrounded by people, going to parties, flirting, and having sex is going to make me happy. You honestly fucking think that? Why the FUCK would you think that? I'm fucking serious. My brain straight up does not produce any pleasure, happy, joy chemicals at fucking all.

The only way for me to live a happy life is to be isolated from society where I can take drugs in piece.

You don't think that's a fullfilling life but guess what dicks... I'M NOT YOU. Why do you think I'm going to suddenly fucking enjoy extroverted life? Why? WHY?

I fucking hate everyone genuinely. I fucking hate hate hate hate you fucking all. I FUCKING HATE YOU. FUCKING KILL YOURSELVES. FUCKING FAGGOTS.

GIVE ME WHAT YOU OWE ME AND THEN FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE FOREVER. EVERYONE.

>>18286769
you are beyond faggotry.

Go fucking kill yourself cunt.

>>18286780
Yeah I posted about how much I hate you. Kidding kidding

I'm so worried you're going to meet someone there and cheat on me.
This feels awful. I can't even physically be with you so what is stopping you from being with one of the people there. I wish you would just leave me before you completely destroy me with something like that.

>>18286775
>How curious that all your ex's are whores and you a saint.
They all cheated you stupid shit.

Are you that fucking dense? They all have NUDE PHOTOS OF THEMSELVES ONLINE.

Yet I'm the worst kind of ex? Exactly why you stupid fuck? These are not lies. These are the fucking truth.

Renee fucked someone's best friend as revenge when her BF left her.

Iris cheated on me, and then cheated multiple times on Joe.

Vicki cheated on me multiple times and apparently whored herself out to pay rent.

I'm the worst kind of ex.

This is why the world needs to fucking burn. Stupid faggots like you.

>>18286775
AND

The fucking whores GAVE ME STDS. They knew they had STDs while they were with me and withheld that info from me. They straight up lied to me.

THEN lied again when I asked if they were tested.

Meanwhile doctors REFUSE to test me. I asked 2 different doctors for an STD test and they both lied to me. They both said "You have nothing to worry about."

I fucking hate you all. You're all the worst fucking people alive.

FUck this world. FUck all of you.

>>18286784
This kind of show how awful of a person you are. I am not even angry, just feel plain pity for you.

>>18286790
Same old story, boring

>>18286794
Meh, hopefully someone close to you will be fed up with your shit and give you a slap on the head for you to stop crying like a whiny bitch and grow up. Or worse, they don't at all and that is why you are here. Dude,that's sad

Hey I hope you're doing swell these days. I wonder how you deal with your SO bashing you on social platforms. I guess to gain structure and sanity we sometimes have to swallow bullshit. Give and take they quip yet they seem to yield an unforgiving fist up any male specimens anus. You've always left me with a kind word so I'm returning the favor. Hope you and your family are well. Thanks again my spiritual loss of a limb, sunny days are here again as the sickness rules the canvas. I miss the word duels through darkness there is light.

>>18286826
Same old faggot.

>>18286822
You are literally retarded and obviously trolling. That's how retarded you are.

>>18286834
I hope my cult finds you and murders you.

For real.

I can literally kill people just by saying their name.

And you fucking know it too.

>>18286836
Mostly just tired as fuck of your everyday drama. But you are right, as the ones close to you I also don't care. Go keep living your sad life in the safety of your bedroom.

>>18286834
>>18286822
>>18286826
Seriously, the real reason why none of you worthless pieces of shit will ever, EVER say any of this to me with your name attached is because you will literally be fucking murdered for it.

People KILL for me. People have fucking died for crossing me.

So, where does that put you faggots?

And for those in charge of this shit show...

Are you afraid of me now?

Thanks for breaking another promise.

It feels so nice to know what to say. To have my confidence back.

>>18286839
Lol, as entertaining this is I do have better things to do than talking to a mentally ill in 4chan. But honestly, is sad you are left alone and nobody has help you, that is rough.

>>18286845
Make so much sense why you are here hahaha

>>18286858
>>18286862
It's funny because it's true.

I am in my 30's and changing careers, fuck you S, you are the main reason this industry is fucking rotten. You are always late to pay us, tricked us with false contracts and overwork us as you please. I have been dealing with clients and bosses like this and it is killing my passion for art, fuck you and your projects, I prefer doing my own stuff while working in something more fullfilling

(Ignore this)

Don't leave me behind. I'm sorry I was such a mess the other night and I feel terrible about it. All I wanted you to do was talk me out of a bad spot, make me laugh and for me to make you laugh in return, and for you to eat your pizza. I will keep my place as a friend and respect boundaries, I won't push anything or pressure you into something serious. You should know that I haven't found anyone like you in a while at it feels so nice to have you in my life as a friend.

By the way, I got drunk and posted that clip because my friend was finally coming into town after being gone for 2 months. I have been busy lately, I'm sorry for that. I feel like you should know that I would never purposefully ignore you. Again, sorry.

>>18286876
Maybe all you need is a hug and a chill pill? Dude, the world is harsh and people is horrible, but not all of them. But going all nutz on everybody and letting your mental issues take the best of you will just make things worse, the road ahead for you seems dark and harsh but if you decide to do something for yourself with out depending on others then it might help you grow. You will probably say what a faggot I am because it seems it is the only way for you to deal with the fact that you are justifing the chaos in your life. Honestly I am very tired on coming here and see your rants that have nothing to do with asking for advice and attacking everybody. I suppose I should just forget about this place and do something more productive. I send you a bro hug and a slap in your head because you tick me off.

I'm sick of dealing with women, they're fickle and a pain in my ass.

>>18286904
>human beings are unpredictable
gee why don't you go tell some economists

>>18286895
>mental issues take the best of you
I'm going to stop you right the fuck there.

You know exactly what I've fucking been through. The weight of the world on my shoulders alone.

And you fucking think you can judge me?

You fucking think this is fucking right? That what you are all doing to me is fucking ok? Psychologically torturing me, purposefully making me suicidal and then giving me just enough air to keep me from finally doing it. Fucking keeping me right on the edge of life and death because you fucking pricks find it to be the most entertaining that way?

No. Fuck you. Fuck all of you. This isn't ok. This isn't right. There is literally fucking NOTHING anyone can do to make this right.

And it doesn't matter anyways because none of you worthless cunts have tried to truly help me. Instead you keep fucking with me even more and dragging this bullshit out for far too long.

I ask for so very little for compensation and I'm refused because of retarded beliefs.

You want to know how to make this shit right? Start by giving me the fucking truth.

Then proceed to go fuck yourself.

I want to die. Or at least I think I do. Or at the very least I think about killing myself a lot. I do not enjoy feeling this way. I realize this is an illogical feeling to feel and I also remember times (maybe?) during which I felt "happy" (not thinking about dying) so I understand that I could, theoretically, not feel like this anymore. Based on research I have done and anecdotal accounts I have collected I have concluded that talking to a therapist is the best way to stop always thinking about dying. The problem with this solution is that I lack the money to pay for a therapist. As a financial dependent of my parents (I am in my late teens, and yes, old enough to post on this site), my immediate thought is to ask them to pay for it. We are an upper-middle class family. I don't think this would break the bank. But yet I feel an enormous amount of guilt at the idea of asking them to shell out the money for a therapist just so I can feel slightly better. My parents have always been cold and indifferent towards me. I am unsure how they would react to such a question, and whether their ensuing questions (why?) or a potential rejection would simply cause me more stress. Can someone please give advice as to how I should proceed in this situation? I have always been terrible with interpreting my emotions and those of others.

sorry if this sounded really autistic I don't talk to a lot of people

>>18286914
Yep, no way to talk to you anymore. Good luck and hope someone helps you.

>>18286331
Initials?

>>18286044
I'm the same way

In my head we are on the same team

I don't care what you are doing but its relevant to me somehow

You don't understand at all. I refuse to look at your mod because it will just reaffirm how much I want to work with you in every way possible. I want to make dinner with you, I want to play videogames with you, I want to make videogames with you, and I want it to be about US, not you.

For some reason whenever I meet someone, anyone even remotely interesting to me, he or she has to be in a different continent out of my reach. And the more I talk to them, more I like them, this obstacle, this wall's presence becomes only more and more stronger. Why is it only foreigners are interesting to me? Why am I incapable of getting closer to people who are right here near me?

But more importantly, do those I actually talk to feel the same? Do they even want to get closer to me? Probably not, it's not like I am worth thinking about.

A masturbation a day keeps the feelings away.
It really does

>>18286924
I hope I find out who you are so my cult fucking kills you.

Everyone leaves.

They always leave.

Nothing lasts forever.

When will I learn this lesson.

>>18286956
Sure and please also will save this lovely conversarion and sent it to your family... J. Adieu

>>18286966
ok? I literally tell them the same.

And they know all of this. They are the fucking ones putting drugs in my fucking food.

and I legit hope you fucking die because of this.

I think of you maybe once every other day. I think about what we had a year ago, and analyze my decision to leave. Not because I miss you, but just to review what happened and how I handled it all.
You probably will never see this, but there are some things I'd like to apologize for.

For one, I'm sorry I was confused after the breakup. I missed you, and started to regret my decision because of how alone and sad we both felt. I was confused and in turn confused you. So I'm deeply sorry for everything that happened between the breakup and the end.
I'm sorry for responding to your messages after we broke up. Your threats to kill yourself concerned me deeply, but I should have just told someone close to you that you were saying these things and ignore you. I realize that by me being the one to try to help you was in fact a huge mistake and I take responsibility for that.
I'm sorry for hurting you so badly. Five years is a long time. We will never get that time back, and it's not like I wasn't sad to leave. I had thought about it for a long LONG time before I actually ended up leaving. I told you I thought about it for a month but really it was more like a year.
I just kept wanting to believe that things would get better and that we could get over some of our huge problems, but we couldn't. And I started to realize that they were only getting worse. I tried to talk to you about them, but I could never seem to have an adult conversation with you. I never wanted to fight with you, but you'd always turn it around to somehow be purely my fault or onto you being such a terrible person that you might as well kill yourself. It never had to be like that, you know.

I'm not sorry for leaving though. In the end, I think it was best for the both of us. Hope you're okay now.

Life is just little overwhelming right now

My dad is leaving to Mexico for his vacation tomorrow so that means more responsibilities for me

My mom only has off his first week then the next week I'll have to take care of brother(he's special needs) after school

I signed up to retake the ACT and I don't think I'll have time to prep for it since I have a bunch of other stuff to do.

My prom is this Saturday, I won't go but it'll be on my mind for awhile and that nagging telling me I should've gone will be there for awhile

I still don't have a job yet my friend said he'll set me up at the place he works.he gave me an application but i still need to figure out my hours

my usual self esteem issues are still here

I'm trying not to be jelous over other people in my life having girlfriends

If this is the type of shit that overwhelms me I don't know how I'll ever function in the world

You didn't look in good shape, emotionally or physically and you tried to play it off. That's not how I met and knew you, it doesn't suit you and more importantly it's damaging. For a moment I thought I had you in your prime, and then that thought made me sad. Get your shit together.

I love how your fucking cure for depression is "Get better!"

You had to hire the most retarded fucking psychiatrists in the world for this.

To not even acknowledge the fucking heaviness and damage you've done to me. To pretend like this is something everyone goes through. That it's not a big deal. People have fucking killed themselves for less. That's just one of the fucking things I have to deal with.

What you have fucking done to me... jesus fucking christ. I will never trust another person ever again. I will never be able to go out without keeping one eye looking behind me. Every person I meet will know everything about me. I have no privacy. Every mistake I've made, every embarrassing moment, every fucking second of my life is open for judgement. I have to live knowing that the entire world just didn't fucking care if I lived or died. No, they fucking WANTED me to die since the day I was born.

I have to live knowing my own fucking parents abused me, manipulated me, and psychologically tortured me. That no one, and I mean NO ONE has ever loved me. All my relationships were a fucking lie.

I have to live knowing the world considers me less than human. That my worth is nothing. I have no rights, no future, nothing. I was used as a fucking test subject, a toy, and the entire world was ok with it.

I'm a slave. That's all I am to you mother fuckers. Cattle.

"You aren't even trying to get better!"

"Don't look back in anger."

Fuck all of you.

I am legitimately worried that my bf is using me to hide that he's gay.

>>18287065
>I have to live knowing the world considers me less than human. That my worth is nothing. I have no rights, no future, nothing. I was used as a fucking test subject, a toy, and the entire world was ok with it.
This part especially. I was a slave for 30 fucking years and I have to listen to limp wristed faggots like John Oliver fucking judge me because I don't support his SJW horseshit 100%.

I have to deal with blacks getting all pissy because I criticized BLM for falsely representing information by twisting and manipulating it to fit their agenda. To those stupid fucks that get bitchy about that... you fucking realize I'm still for equal rights, right? I'm just against the incredibly suspect and sometimes downright fucking lies used by that particular group. What the fuck is so fucking hard to understand about that? Why the fuck does EVERYTHING have to be "YOU EITHER WITH US OR AGAINST US."?

and why the fuck do I have to lsiten to you assholes bitch about me being white? "Gee Golly we all wish he was a minority so his fame and position would be better!"

I"M FUCKING SORRY I'M NOT WHO YOU ALL WANT ME TO BE. I'm fucking sorry that I'm not fucking perfect in every way possible. I'm sorry that I have my own mind and have my own ideas which might sometimes not align with 100% of the worlds fucking population.

You want to change places? I would in a fucking heartbeat. Any of you.

All I fucking wanted was to love and be loved in return. To live a normal fucking life. To share my art with someone I loved and be happy in my own little corner of the world.

Fuck all of you. I hate this. I never fucking asked for any of this. The entire world is against me, literally.

Thinking about you again, and how it could have been.
Only now, I don't have any alcohol to make myself stop.
This is going to be a long summer. I hope that I find a job to get my mind off of you, because God knows you're not thinking about me.
I hate that I ever fell for you.
I hate that I thought this could work.

>>18287127
>I hate that I thought this could work.
That what could have worked?

There's a light on in the kitchen
Where I've been losin' sleep
It seems to me since you've been gone
The dark got twice as deep
My mind tries to forget you,
But my heart comes back for more
'Cause you put the hurt on me
Like I never felt before
Don't need a guilty conscience
To follow me around
Don't need no one to tell me why
The rain keeps pourin' down
Dont need another dark cloud
Hangin round outside my door
'Cause you put the hurt on me,
Like I never felt before
The flames have turned to ashes
But there's still some embers left
Missin' you is harder than
This whiskey on my breath
I never had a memory cut
A path as wide as yours
'Cause you put the hurt on me,
Like I never felt before

Today is another reminder I have nothing. Friends are temporary. Love is a mistake.

Hello another empty case of beer

>>18287136
Love, or at the very least, friendship.

Can someone please talk to me
I don't want to be alone

>>18287146
You're never alone. /adv/ is always with you.

I lost my virginity in the most humiliating way I could have. I don't know if it's a one time thing or if I'm seriously 20 and have a dick problem. End my life senpai

>>18286915
bumping my question

Do you have any idea how infuriating your little stupid bits of advice are to me? Putting a cooler on the pops so I would see the water in the freezer (see, DBZ). Putting "Drink more water" on gamegrumps. Having the toilet have no water in it.

The annoying "eat more veggies." like it's actually possible for me right now to not only cook my own food, but fucking buy it.

Telling me to brush my teeth, shower, and all that retarded shit as if I didn't know how.

You realize I want to die right? That I just don't fucking care? That there isn't any point because I don't plan on being alive for much longer?

Also, hard to take your advice seriously when you have literally been trying to kill me my entire life.

Remember that time you gave me an insane amount of caffeine right before bed? The only reason you did that was to make me unable to sleep, and to make me jittery to the point where I was just laying in bed torquing my body around?

Remember when you put shit in my clothing and bed sheets to make me constantly itchy?

The only reason you did this shit was to mimic opiate withdrawal symptoms for those watching. To give people a "OMG see how bad drugs are! durrrr"

You people fucking disgust me. You use me to push your bullshit agendas through lies and manipulation. You cannot fucking admit to being wrong, can you faggots? You can't admit that the medications I take genuinely, and greatly improve my quality of life. You can't admit that the amount of meds I take are far below the levels which constitute as abuse. You can't admit that I don't take enough to give me any problematic withdrawals.

You lie to me like I'm an idiot. That I haven't done my research. You make shit up and when called out you fucking just double down on your bullshit thinking that's going to work.

You make my life a living fucking hell while at the same time trying to give me advice?

Why the fuck would I listen to anything you fuckers have to say?

You're the best thing that ever could have happened to me and I can't stop finding ways to mess it up. Maybe it's because I know you're too good for me and my insecurity can't handle it, or maybe I'm just irredeemable trash - most likely the latter, since I've never done anything to deserve even the tiniest scraps of good that miraculously come my way.

>dude is hot as fuck
>shares my sense of humor
>browses the chans
>college athlete
>no gf in sight, on campus crawling with hot women

>be me
>bi male but never dated anyone from either of the two (2) genders
>had a really hard friend group split at the end of sophomore year, lost most of the people I actually cared about
>first semester junior year was shit
>always lonely, getting fatter (I hit 250 at one point, and I'm 5'8'')
>spent half the time thinking about suicide
>dude described above comes into my life
>I figure there's no chance, but he strikes up the convo first
>subconsciously start bettering myself
>lose 30 pounds over 4 months (I'm still fat, and still have a lot to go, but 220 is better than 250)
>enjoying nature and life more
>spending time with aging family
>building a slow but steadily healthy friendship with this guy
>getting over the heartbreak from my old friends
>slowly, slowly think I'm falling in love with this guy
>he has no idea
>he sees me as an in-class friend and nothing more
>nevertheless, I persist in trying to foster something
>get to the point where I consider him a friend
>semester is over
>it never went anywhere
>it will never get anywhere
>we both have to move on, separate spheres of life
This isn't a romcom, I won't go chasing his plane down, and I won't tell a potentially straight guy that I'm madly in love with him.
But I am thankful for him, and I just wish I could express that.
He pulled me back up without even doing anything.
I know I probably won't even cross his mind this summer, but damn. He really saved my life.
I wish for a moment I would sperg out and just tell him how much he means to me.
But he has no idea he means anything, and never knew what was going through my head.
So I'm throwing this out there for you, A. If God wills it, maybe you'll see this, and maybe you'll know it's me.
Thank you for turning around.
Thank you for speaking to someone miles beneath you.
I'm not even mad that we got nowhere.

In my restless dreams,
I see that town.
Silent Hill.
You promised me you'd take me
there again someday.
But you never did.
Well, I'm alone there now...
In our 'special place'...
Waiting for you...
Waiting for you to
come to see me.
But you never do.
And so I wait, wrapped in my
cocoon of pain and loneliness.
I know I've done a terrible
thing to you. Something you'll
never forgive me for.
I wish I could change
that, but I can't.
I feel so pathetic and ugly
laying here, waiting for you...
Every day I stare up at the cracks
in the ceiling and all I can think
about is how unfair it all is...
The doctor came today.
He told me I could go
home for a short stay.
It’s not that I'm getting better.
It’s just that this may be
my last chance...
I think you know what I mean...
Even so, I'm glad to be coming
home. I've missed you terribly.
But I'm afraid, James.
I'm afraid you don't really
want me to come home.
Whenever you come see me,
I can tell how hard it is on you...
I don't know if you
hate me or pity me...
Or maybe I just disgust you...
I'm sorry about that.
When I first learned that
I was going to die, I just
didn't want to accept it.
I was so angry all the time and I
struck out at everyone I loved most.
Especially you, James.
That's why I understand
if you do hate me.
But I want you to
know this, James.
I'll always love you.
Even though our life together had
to end like this, I still wouldn't
trade it for the world. We had
some wonderful years together.
Well, this letter has gone on
too long, so I'll say goodbye.
I told the nurse to give
this to you after I'm gone.
That means that as you read
this, I'm already dead.
I can't tell you to remember me,
but I can't bear for you to
forget me.
These last few years since I
became ill... I'm so sorry for
what I did to you, did to us...
You've given me so much and
I haven't been able to return
a single thing.
That's why I want you to live
for yourself now.
Do what's best for you, James.
James...
You made me happy.

>>18287193
....shit, yo.

Lastly, I'm not fucking autistic.

I'm just angry at the world and every interaction I have had with people has been negative.

Because you fucking manufactured my life to be that way.

"Have problems socializing."

Yeah, because you've made my life a living hell. That's not autism you stupid fucks. It's called being bitter and angry and not putting up with all the horseshit you throw my way. A person can only take so much fucking abuse before they start pushing back.

Why don't I go outside? Again, you've made outside a living hell for me. Why the fuck would I want to actually interact with a bunch of people being paid to give me shit?

Why would I be a kind, loving person to people that abuse me, lie to me, and manipulate me?

I am a genuine kind, nice person. I am a fantastic, romantic lover.

I don't put up with people's shit, however.

And you've paid the entire world to give me shit.

I might be pregnant, lost a baby last year and even if I am a little worried that it will happen again I am feeling very happy <3

Seriously dude just reply to my fucking text. I know you saw it. I'd rather be rejected than ghosted.

A year ago today, we found our home together. Too bad that our home turned into a place of hate and betrayal. I looked so happy in that picture of me standing in front of the complex. But, I have to be happy. If things didn't happen the way they did, I would have never found my bf. And he means the world to me. So I guess all the pain you put me through was worth it.

>>18287172
You very easily could have been nervous. Don't worry too much about it. It's more common than you realise.

>>18287206
Just a video game bro

>>18287191
lol niga u gay

srsly tho u r lucky af I'm super jelly

>>18287312
idk if lucky is the right word because tbqh I am still rather lonely and friendless now that he's gone
but that said I'm thankful for him because it gave me hope
but yeah gay as fuck man i should just kms at this point
I literally unironically hate faggots so I mean

>>18287317
to meet someone who so fundamentaly changes your life, that's cool.

Time heals all wounds, etc. Don't worry dude there's always Grindr.

>>18286966
>... J
HEY, NO, DON'T INSULT MY PEOPLE SHOVING HIM INTO IT.

I've tried very hard to redeem my fellow brethren, don't send this creep to our door.

>>18287334
>Grindr.
hahaha nah man
I appreciate the sentiment but if I'm ever going to date someone it will be because of love and mutual interest, not because of a dick pic

I can't disconnect. I feel too much. If something hurts, no matter how legitimate it may be, I feel the pain for too long. I don't know how to let go of things. Probably because there's nothing in my life and there's nothing to me as a person so I hold onto anything that's proof that I'm alive.

I don't know if that's really what it means to live though.

C, what the fuck were you doing here?

I never thought you of all people would fucking read these threads.

It's supposed to be for weirdos like me to just enjoy mentally masturbating my worst parts of my day out.

Seriously, you of all people have no reason to even be in here, much less play into these threads. Go back to your phone and stay there. Maybe play with more of B's ass while you're ahead, ya fuckin' pervert.

>>18287352
ayyy I'm just sayin, there are ppl who meet there SO in tinder, don't knock it till you try it, just post, >looking for long term relationship

Gute Nacht

Eveline you disease ridden cunt with no integrity
by far my greatest dissapointment

>>18286538
You type like a neanderthal. Your story was a complete boar.

>>18286038
I've accepted that I can't have proper friends in real life anymore because of my crippling trust issues with people. I can't look people in the eye and expect them to tell the truth any time I ask them. The closest I have to friends are you guys out here. Despite how everyone else just brush you guys off for having a reputation, you don't disappoint. Thanks for everything.
My post probably sounds like shit because I'm sleepy and don't have the time and mind to type out a better thank you letter, but there you have it.

>>18287448
and yet here you are talking about me.

Like everyone else in the world.

Look at you, even adding to the game with your poor grammar.

Do you feel special?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5axlwCBXC8

I haven't been in any relationship with a girl since I got cheated on right before I graduated high school 4 years ago, and at this point I don't even know where to start. Every worthwhile woman I have met at my school already seems to be dating someone, and I fucking hate the general drinking/bar crowd, so I cannot help but feel that I'm just going to die depressed and alone, especially with how socially withdrawn I have become over the past few years

I wish I could stop thinking about her occasionally, or better yet, stop having dreams with her in them.

It was such a stupid thing, and I've gotten better since then and improved.
I just wish my subconscious would be cleansed and I could just go on without that disturbing me so much.

just broke up with my girilfriend about a month ago. I miss her everyday, she was so amazing.

ever since all ive been doing is getting drunk every night and sleeping with random chicks, its leaving me with an empty feeling inside.

i feel like women control my life. ive been surounded by them my whole life (my family is mostly women) and its like i cant live without them.

>>18286996
go to prom. its a once in a life time thing, its overrated but you will regret it

>>18286996
>>18287554

^I agree. Go to prom anon. You regret the things you didn't do more than the things you did do.

>>18286928
Revisiting the thread because I can't sleep.

I to M.

>>18286331
I'm afraid that unless you pursue a relationship with him and actually be with him, you might just run into trouble.

I don't think it can work... trying to love someone that you're not even with. You have to be with them and you have to know that they love you back. That painful thought you're having, that someone else will come along to do all of those lovely things with him, really fucking hurts. Say he does end up with someone else. Then what will you do? What will you do about yourself?

I say this because I feel like I'm in a similar spot. I love someone so deeply but someone else came along, someone else that she was actually interested in. I'm now left hurt and confused. She has someone who she's very happy with and if I love her then I should be happy about that too. I guess that's what you have to remind yourself. Seek your own happiness in life that's independent of anyone else. And if that happens to align with someone else, then great.

I... guess that's one way of looking at it.

When I was about to give up dating sites, because guys would just want sex, you found me.
I'm so glad you did. You make me feel like I matter. You love every side of me, and I love that.
I was still hurt from my ex, but your love is healing me.
Yes.

>>18287613
This.

Yes.

>>18287296
...I need to get some froyo.

>>18287652
Mm. Foryo with fruit. Very yush

Okay, so I've made up my mind and know that separating from her will be the best thing for me. But there just a few times where I say to myself how much I'm going to miss having sex with her.

I fear that I'm going to give in to my emotions and do the exact opposite of what I need to say simply because I'm going to miss the intimacy being with her offered. Because I don't want to hurt her, despite how much she's hurt me.

Ah..

im a male virgin with a yeast infection... and it's everywhere. is this a good pickup line btw?

File: tails & his coffee.jpg (90KB, 535x655px) Image search: [Google]

90KB, 535x655px

Trusting people is harder than I originally thought.

File: 2007_11_01_land-rover-defender-crew-cab-chas08.jpg (201KB, 1024x683px) Image search: [Google]

201KB, 1024x683px

I WANT MY OWN FUCKING LAND ROVER DEFENDER

>>18287193
Ah yes, such an unforgettable moment in videogame history.

I don't understand how I still care about her.
She's so wrong for me, just a generally shitty person without a decent conscience but I still glance at her facebook almost every day and hope the piece of shit she's with will try to ruin her life again like he did before. Even after that she went back when we didn't work out. Serves me right for trying to help a broken caged woman out of a toxic 4 year relationship. I'll never be the person to take her phone away and tell her I don't care if she commits suicide so I guess it was doomed from the start.
Why do such beautiful people have to be plagued with pasts that change their psyche?
What is this spell over me

I know you're busy with Fallout (because I bought it for you for your birthday), and I know that you have a family... and a job that takes up a lot of your time.... But I miss you, terribly... and I wish that I could see more of you more often.

It's moments like this, even though I know the reasoning, that I start to wonder if you've got someone else behind my back, even if you don't and wouldn't think of it.

Why do I have to be so worrisome? I wouldn't really say PARANOID, but maybe it's because I don't want to use that word - as true as it may be. Who knows. I love you. Please don't hurt me.

I keep having reoccurring dreams about a large-sized home. Nothing like I have ever been in before... It's absolutely gorgeous and I don't know why I keep dreaming about it, but I hope it means something positive.

The same goes for the pool I keep dreaming about, and the dolphins... and going to a hidden "sex room" in an undisclosed store. I go up these stairs that lead into an attic that is often empty... It offers a television for watching Pornography and a shelf of stuff... Mainly sex toys; I keep dreaming that I'm searching for a new toy even though I am more than happy with the one I have.

Hmm...

>>18287752
Do you talk often?

>>18287762
Kind of. Not like how we used to. At least that;s how it feels. When I brought it up to him, how we don't talk as much, (though when we first started seeing each other, it was different) he apologized and said that he wasn't much of a talker sometimes. So, of course, I can't hold it against him... But I can't help how I feel.

I don't know whether I'm alive dreaming or dead remembering

>>18287775
"Not being much of a talker" should never apply to relationships.
This doesn't point toward cheating but to be honest it sounds like he's trying to live two lives. One where he does his own thing, playing vidya all the time and hanging with friends and then your relationship. If you don't see eachother every day, then you talk every day. Or atleast every other day. Anything else isn't really acceptable and doesn't constitute a healthy relationship.

>>18287752
why do everyone else's dreams seem so much easier to read

>>18287783
My dreams are out there... Esp if I don't have familiar background noise; then they turn into warped nightmares.

>>18287752
>keep dreaming that I'm searching for a new toy even though I am more than happy with the one I have.
Have you considered that maybe the reason you think he has someone else is that deep down on an unconscious level, you want to experience sex with someone new, just for the physical experience and you're projecting your guilt onto him? Perhaps in turn, on a subconscious level, he's picking up on this and that's why he's withdrawing, because he's afraid you're going to hurt him.

>>18287783
How do you read it?

>>18287787
I honestly do have those curiosities. But I don't act on them, and it could be. Granted I didn't intend to guilt him by no means. I just didn't know how else to express myself other than tell him "Hey... We're not talking as much, are we OK?

>>18287787
She's thinking about new toys because she's sexually frustrated in a relationship where she barely even talks to her boyfriend. It doesn't sound like it has anything to do with finding another man

I can t fuck with my boyfriend more than 2 times a week and he will dump me bc he needs more sex.

Fuck the whole sex thing for fucking up precious relationship

Fuck me for not being able to have passionate sex after only 2 years of dating.

I wish sex was merely a way to produce children and not being the driving force of our society.

I wish i could choose to whom i am sexually attracted.

I wish sex wouldt destroy my life for the second time.

I wish i was ugly, maybe than ppl would love me for myself and not for the hope that someday they could fuck me.
You know my male friends, I can see it. I can see it everytime, when the change happens. When the first time you think about having sex with me. And i hate you, bc im clever and funny, why cant you love me for that?

>>18287806
You understand that lack of sex/interest shows a man that he may not be good enough correct? That you may be seeking for it elsewhere?
Some people have sex often not only because they're attracted but for the self assurance.

>>18287806
>i hate you, bc im clever and funny, why cant you love me for that?
Can't we love you for both? What makes you think that we don't? You'll always be clever and funny, but you won't always be as _painfully_ physically beautiful as you are now. We're not sorry for appreciating it, it's good that it's not your everything, but please don't hold this against us.

Do you know what it's like for a man merely to lay his eyes on a beautiful woman? Watch Once Upon A Time In The West, it's a beautiful film and it might help you to understand us a bit better.

>I can t fuck with my boyfriend more than 2 times a week
Why? Have you talked to him about this? There's so much more to sex and intimacy that kissing, cuddling and piv. maybe you need to explore different things.

I used 4chan

>my roomie walked in when i was in /h/
>oshit.jpg

>>18287811
I understand. I know He is losing his self-confidence everytime i turn him down. And it makes things even worse. I get anxious and try to force myself to sex and when something becomes a duty, i always run away from it. And all the circumstances are making sex a duty.
>>18287815
I think I know what is it like. Recently I've been thinking a lot about what would it be like to be a man, or even an ugly man. I think I would go mad, I would even consider myself a potential rapist.
You know, as an attractive girl i could always get a man if i wanted to. But after all these, I still wish I was less attractive. Why?
first of all, can you men imagine how fucking hard would it be not to cheat when you could get all the girls you wanted? I think most men don't cheat on their gf's because they simply can't. If they had the chance they would, just as women.
And second of all, for someone like me, who always wanted to be acknowledged for my performance, it was always shit to see that im treated different just because im an attractice girl. It was shit when all my male friends stopped talking to me when i got into a relationship. It is shit that i have to listen to my boyfriend saying "cant you see that all these men around you only want one thing from you?" No, I can't. I don't want to believe that is the only thing about me.

>>18287806
>I can t fuck with my boyfriend more than 2 times a week and he will dump me bc he needs more sex

HE. HE needs more sex. HE NEEDS more sex. This is clearly about an individual, leave your prejudice at the door. It's silly to blame the other half of two sexes for desiring sex too much when that's our #1 priority outside of living long enough to do so. Man or woman.

>Fuck the whole sex thing for fucking up precious relationship

You are the one making it about the sex. If your boyfriend is an asshole who can't understand and respect your desire to engage and forgo sexual activities at your own desire, then he's a shitty person, sex isn't a shitty thing.

>Fuck me for not being able to have passionate sex after only 2 years of dating.

What is the problem? I think THIS is the core issue here. You aren't enjoying it, so you hold resentment towards it.

>I wish sex was merely a way to produce children and not being the driving force of our society.

Sex isn't the driving force of our society any more than it ever has been. People need to have sex for new people to be made. I'm not sure what you've been taught, but I can assure you that it has little to do with birds or bees. Real people get together. Real people have sex. These real people do it to show their affection for one another, get as close as physically possible, and bring pleasure to one another. Ones ability to please their partner solidifies their relationship with that person, and ensures that they will not seek out other more suitable mates. If one cannot please their partner, they feel inadequate.

I'm assblasted you blocked me on snapchat. Especially since I can't even see the message you sent me before you blocked me. Fuck you, seriously. I just wanted to adore all seven of you and I could of stayed in the friendzone where everything was all nice and comfy. I hope you come back some day and we can talk things out and eat pizza on your cozy lawn one day.

>>18287835
>can you men imagine how fucking hard would it be not to cheat when you could get all the girls you wanted? I think most men don't cheat on their gf's because they simply can't. If they had the chance they would, just as women.
So you're projecting your desire to sleep with other guys onto him, and then withholding sex as a way to drive him to it so relationship ends? If so, maybe it'd be better to be honest with yourself and save you both the long term pain.

>It was shit when all my male friends stopped talking to me when i got into a relationship.
This is probably out of respect for your boyfriend. Guys are possessive and most don't love it when they see other guys talking to her, we do our best to tolerate it. And because we want the same for ourselves, we respect your relationship as we want ours to be respected - treat others as you want to be treated. That doesn't magically stop us from _wanting_ to fuck you though, we just try to restrain ourselves for the greater good of society.

>It is shit that i have to listen to my boyfriend saying "cant you see that all these men around you only want one thing from you?"
This sounds like his insecurity speaking. It might be better that he's saying it and not just thinking it, but that doesn't make it true. However the above still applies. He's right, but guilting you for it won't make it less likely to happen.

I'm guessing he doesn't consider himself/isn't as attractive as you, which is where his insecurities stem from. Do you express your appreciation for his non-physical qualities? That'd probably help.

I feel like I got robbed of a deeply personal, emotional, and intimate experience by having unwanted house guests while my cat was dying. Their looming presense while I was trying to care for my cat was offensive to me. I dont think I can be friends with them anymore, especially if they try to comfort me in some way. I just want them to stay the fuck away from me and leave me the fuck alone until they move out.

>>18287065
>being this fucking schizoid
>100% believe your own bullshit
>cry about it on 4chan, screaming fuck the world
>instead of going on an actual rampage because fuck the world

https://youtu.be/hyj4JFSErrw

If I'm getting to know a girl, and she's got a cute face and I like her personality, but then when we get down to the nitty gritty her body is kinda gross, does that make me an ass hole to lose interest?

Fucks me up because this girl will then like me by this point and I've invested time and energy on her, but that's not WHO I wanna be with

I work out, I eat right, I have great skin and muscles and I work fucking hard for it. I chug down protein shakes I don't wanna chug coz IM already too full, I spent months feeling bruised and broken from pushing myself too hard; I spend tons of time keeping up with what's fashionable so my /fit/ can always Be on point

I just can't feel myself settling for someone that doesn't have the same sorta dedication

I'm a very all or nothing kinda person.

>>18287806

If You were really clever and funny you wouldn't be in this predicament
Girls that truly have it all (looks and wit) are powerful asf second only to the guys that also have both, but are also good leaders/innovators

Just because guys laugh at your jokes and tell you how smart you are doesn't make it so.

>>18287860
do her a service and break it off so she can find someone who isn't a total piece of shit

Ever felt like you live in some funky abyss, full of these bullshit assumptions that, functionally, for all you know are correct?

Each time a guy gazes at me I assume he's just judging me. That he sees not a girl but a freak. He might turn around in his seat, or do something kind and smile, but all I see is only ever pity.

The thing is with these fears is that, besides common sense, I possess no experience that denies them. What I do know is just that no opportunity of sex or romance has ever come my way. No flirting, no nothing, besides literally one guy in the fanciest sports car I've ever seen calling me beautiful (which doesn't count because it was kinda dim so his eyes were probably playing tricks on him), or some creep at the beach also calling me beautiful.
All other girls I know haven't got this problem. They've gotten aggressive positive attention, they've gotten boyfriends no matter what they personally go through. Some were loners, some were bigger than me. Some were known as bitches to everyone around em. Didn't fuckin stop them. I'm the odd one out.

I know I've lost so much weight, that I'm almost skinny, but now I know the problem all along was me. I must be irrevocably ugly. Ugly inside and out though no one's ever called me it.

I dunno if I'm still the kid that hates romance and settling down. Nonetheless, I...I want to feel what it's like and it's so goddamned painful not knowing. Most of the time I'm not so desperate, I don't care about moping around. I feel nothing. But then I think about it. Here I am in college, the BEST time to have a fling, and I won't. Bums me out that it'll all never happen.

I'll get over it sometime. This forever alone's shit's just rough.

>>18287835
Men are less likely to cheat when they make their relationship public because women don't like a man that cheats and would be more likely to expose him.
Men are the complete opposite and find it thrilling to fuck another dudes girl.

In my last relationship my ex had ALOT of creepers. Alot of them were talking to her and I'd tell her "I'm not going to tell you that you're not allowed to have male friends. But understand that I'm a man and I understand how they work. It'll come down to them trying to hang out with you and trying to hook up. Lo and behold, it always did and she'd always come back to me telling me I was right.
Guys are fucking creepy, especially if you're attractive.

>>18287864

>Break it off

You are implying I ever let it get to a stage where we are a thing.
I tend to just let it softly die on its own

>>18287868

>Men are the complete opposite

Women love banging another girls dude as well
It's the psychology of demand

"She wants him enough to be in a relationship with him ergo he is desirable and I am jealous So I desire him" etc.

Hence why women are more attracted to guys that get lots of girls (or at least, could)

It's partially about the man's actual worth; but also his desirability in the eyes of other women

In thE exact same way guys like having a trophy wife that other guys will be jealous of; women love having a boyfriend that other women want

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I wish I could find someone who played the same games as me and didn't care about other people in their life except for me. I just want to care and feed and love someone so badly.

>>18287876

This person won't just materialise out of nowhere

You have to find someone and make a connection with them
You'll soon after realise that you need more from a relationship than just "cares about me" and plays the same games as you

>>18287876
>I just want to care and feed and love someone so badly.
you have to start with yourself. 'feeding' someone else won't make you any more complete. Plus if you exude this desire, it's actually offputting.

as >>18287875 said:
>"She wants him enough to be in a relationship with him ergo he is desirable and I am jealous So I desire him" etc.
This is extremely true.

I feel so alone even when I'm laying next to you. My heart is dying because you won't give me what I need in this relationship, I don't need much just physical shows of affection, maybe sex once a week and could you please shut up about your ex? I get it she was perfect but I'm not her and I don't want to hear about your exploits with her.

>>18287865
I feel your pain.

>Ugly inside and out though no one's ever called me it.
You're not. You can't see your own beauty because you can't conceive of the horrors that lie within others. Don't become a monster because you believe that's all you are. Nurture your inner beauty. Express it. Let others see.

>Here I am in college, the BEST time to have a fling, and I won't.
If this was what you really wanted, you could and would, but I suspect you want something deeper.

>This forever alone's shit's just rough.
I know. Ironically sometimes we're most alone when we're with other people though. Enjoy yourself, enjoy who you are.

>>18287886
break up with that piece of shit. see >>18287902
>Ironically sometimes we're most alone when we're with other people though. Enjoy yourself, enjoy who you are.

There's so much simple, human pain on this board. And so much empathy. It's such a strange oasis.

Also, I think captcha is slowly driving me to become sexually attracted to gas stations.

>>18287906

I feel The same way about mountains and street signs

>>18287916
unf. we should get together and have lots of little cars

>>18287873
Piece of shit w.ho strings girls along.

>>18287876
Don't stick your dick in crazy. Once you go yandere you never go back.

>>18287902
Sound advice.
>most alone with other people
I dunno though...the first and only time I've unmistakably felt happiness
was the first time someone said they loved me (for something I did; it was utterly meaningless). I remember sobbing myself into a puddle of joyful tears afterwards once I was alone. And then everything's been downhill from there because I feel lonelier than ever. It's stupid, but I can't deny it happened. I think all my years of being a otherwise unlonesome loner, cool with having a few distant but very good friends, fucked me over.

How does a person like me go from caring not at all to caring more than anyone? I don't get it...and I'm probably incapable of something deeper. I'd be lucky to even get close enough to someone for a fling.

>>18287946
>the first time someone said they loved me (for something I did; it was utterly meaningless). I remember sobbing myself into a puddle of joyful tears afterwards once I was alone.
Probably because they saw something in you you couldn't see yourself. They said something you can't tell yourself, that you couldn't believe.

>I'm probably incapable of something deeper
It's this mentality that holds you back. You don't self love. No one can love you until you find things to love about yourself. Everyone is unique, and that means everyone is the best at one particular thing. You might be the best at eating chocolate while playing the drums with a stool balanced on your head. It doesn't really matter. You're good at things, just like you're bad at things. You're as good for something as you're good for nothing. Find something that makes you feel.

A fling isn't about being close to someone. It's the opposite. It's about being close to yourself, to your desires.

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>>18287879
I'm not saying there isn't more to a relationship, but I would love to just care for someone. I love cooking, I love cleaning, I love keeping myself fit and healthy and I just would love to look after someone else I love.

If I could just look after someone and come home and eat food with them and play games without having to worry about them talking to other people, or spending their time with others, I would be SO happy. I don't care for casual friendships or conversation. I only want a relationship in my life.

>>18287922
I'm a girl, but I'm bi, so I wouldn't care if it was a girl or boy I was caring for and loving.

>>18287873
Lol, I do the same. I told the last girl that I needed a break and then just started rejecting her calls and ignoring her texts.

>>18287958
>without having to worry about them talking to other people, or spending their time with others
sorry to be blunt but this is batshit crazy.

>I don't care for casual friendships or conversation. I only want a relationship in my life.
this is your problem. it might be what you want, but clearly you need the opposite. you've fetishized the idea of a relationship, it's become an unfulfillable fantasy.

what you're looking for is unrealistic and unhealthy. people need outside relationships. what kind of relationship do you realistically expect to have with someone that can't related to/with other people? It sounds like you want a relationship with yourself.

>I would love to just care for someone
caring is sharing. it's hard, but you have to allow people freedom, and it sounds like you don't even allow it to yourself.

Can't believe I didn't break it off with you when you told me you used to do cam shows.
I should have known there was more to the story.
I should have realized a girl as beautiful as you would have a cult following and your shit was still easily found online.
Bringing you around my friends was impossible knowing they were all jerking off to you behind my back. The whole world was.

>>18287970
I don't really care if it's healthy or not, my last relationship lasted 4 years but he had to move away so we couldn't be together past that. It's been over a year now and I still crave for that kind of relationship.

My partner can have all the freedom them they want as long as it doesn't involve other people. I know there are people out there like me it's just hard to find them because we're massive introverts. :(

>>18287974
>My partner can have all the freedom them they want as long as it doesn't involve other people.
Basically impossible and you're missing out on so much. Don't get me wrong, I really do relate, but you need to be realistic. How are they even supposed to meet you in the first place if this is their attitude? Be open, "no man can be an island unto himself" and all that.

>>18287980
How am I missing out on so much? What's the point in doing an activity or going somewhere if I can't share it with someone I love?
Doing anything lately feels so pointless because I'd rather wait until I can do it with the person I'm in a relationship with/love.
There are LAN parties around my area, I was thinking I could go to one of those; or meeting someone online and taking things from there.

I really don't feel like I'm asking a lot.
I take very good care of myself, I can offer a lot in terms of conversation, I'm fun, I'm down for whatever they want sexually, I cook, I clean, I work. I'm willing to do almost anything if it means it can just be the two of us.

>>18287985
Like I said, I can related and I would marry the fuck out of all 3 of your holes in a heartbeat. BUT
>What's the point in doing an activity or going somewhere if I can't share it with someone I love? Doing anything lately feels so pointless because I'd rather wait until I can do it with the person I'm in a relationship with/love.
Tomorrow isn't promised to anyone. If you love yourself, when you do these things alone you're already doing them with someone you love. You seem to be displacing what should be your self-love onto someone else, and expecting them to do the same. I'm not sure the extent to which you're doing it is healthy. I suspect you're making it harder for yourself to meet someone.

But again, I relate. pls marry.

>>18287973
It sucks, don't give up

>>18287958
>>18287974
>>18287985
Doubt you'll ever have a healthy relationship after reading your expectations you have fabricated for your partner. No guy is going to limit himself to one girl. He'll eventually crave other female's attention and companionship. He'll start seeing girls behind your back and tell you it's your fault because you refuse to give him space. Then he'll bring up alpha/beta dichotomy to mind fuck you even further. Yandere is cute when it comes to made up chick's but in reality it's unhealthy and unrealistic. Nothing lasts forever so enjoy time with any guy that you find attractive and inviting, move on to the next at the first red flag/before he breaks you, and never stop improving yourself.

>>18288037
Always remember he's just a cock and there's plenty more out there. Don't limit yourself and use your introversion as an excuse. You're young (assumption), enjoy life and get some good dick.

>>18288037
If I'm perfectly happy with spending my life with one person I'm sure there's a male counterpart out there, such as >>18287996

Guys who think with their dick are disgusting, hur dur need other female attention. How is one persons attention not enough you need to attract other girls? I'm aware of what red flags/signs are, and I avoid those people faster than the plague which is why I just wanna hurry up and find someone like me.

Today was supposed to be a great day. I was supposed to work, get off and buy my new guitar, come home and record some stuff. Yesterday made me feel so lost that I didn't know how I was going to deal with today. And I have to sell stuff to get the $107 more I need to pay off the guitar, because if I don't they keep the money and sell it to someone else.

I really wish I wasn't me. Yesterday was really bad, it was such a straightforward message to give me with such an open ended set of feelings to get from it. I wish I was a different person, I wish I didn't ever exist.

>>18288037
You're disgusting

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>>18288064
And you're deluded. Welcome to 4chan, bitch.

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>>18288064
As the person who wrote >>18287876 he's not being disgusting. He's being realistic when it comes to 95% of the world and their "normie" ways.

The other 5% just need to find each other, somehow.

>>18286331
Why would you have to keep it a secret and why would a relationship be unlikely?
And holding this thoughts and emotions without revealing them will make them stronger, and that bittersweet feeling will get stronger.

>>18288037
>Doubt you'll ever have a healthy relationship after reading your expectations
>he's just a cock
Nice advice, in no way contradictory. If you're femanon, you're clearly already doing mental gymastics to try to justify your own choices. Don't be surprised if your 30's are a barren wasteland devoid of anything but the desperate 'love' of the last beta orbiter you can dig your claws into.

>>18288046
me >>18287996
The thing is, it does feel nice to be able to spend time with other people sometimes, regardless of gender. It's not something I really seek out, but I'd also feel uncomfortable if it was some sort of crime. I do like to see and hear other people's perspectives, and it's nice to be appreciated by other people. That doesn't translate into disloyalty, but if you make it forbidden, it does become a taboo. It becomes intriguing. You make it intriguing. It's natural to be jealous, it's normal to a degree within a relationship and it can be stimulating. I get jealous as fuck, but part of being an adult is acknowledging and dealing with/managing those feelings. It doesn't have to lead to death and destruction for all.

Do you really want to be a/with Mike Pence? Cos that's basically who you're describing you know?

I was trying to get with a friend of mine, and it seemed to be going ok so far, and then out of the blue I had a dream where me and my ex were sitting at a table sitting at a table, talking to friends and laughing. Last thing I remember is her giving me a peck on the cheek. Now I just feel like shit. Not really sure what I should do.

>>18288046
Guy here, you sound like my ideal relationship. Don't lose hope.

>>18288081
Get off the internet, virgin, and seek help for your aspergers. No one gives a shit how jealous you are in your online relationship. Fucking betas, man.

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>>18288081
If I was in a relationship with someone and I could trust them, like my last relationship, he had a couple of male friends who he hung out with every-so-often which I wouldn't be against, but the opposite gender I'm just eh, no. I wouldn't speak to another man and I'd expect my partner to not speak with another female unless she was a banker/waiter etc..

My last relationship set standards pretty high because he didn't care for any other females except me and I loved every bit of it.

I also agree, I wouldn't just "enjoy dick" because my future partner would think of me as a degenerate for sleeping around. I'm always thinking about how my partner feels in any given situation even when I'm single. If me pleasing you (as a female in your life) isn't enough then it's not someone I want to be with. I know it's pretty unrealistic but it's what I want more than anything.

>>18288091
This is a common dream when getting into a new relationship. You miss the closeness. Your subconscious is probably trying to tell you to take your time by reminding you what loss feels like.

>>18288069
Someone broke you and now you are trying to break other people. You're gonna perpetuate the cycle you fell into. Congratulations.

>>18288099
I wish I knew you. We have the same exact ideas.

>>18288098
Lol project/overreact harder. I look forward to seeing the screendump of your reddit post in a /pol/ roastie thread when you get dumped because "you're just a cunt". It's fine to be liberated but at least be fucking consistent with it ffs.

>>18288099
The thing is that makes you seem insecure, which eventually becomes unattractive. It's good to have a little push and pull in a relationship to keep things lively.

It's incredibly cute when girls get jealous because it reminds us how much they care. I wouldn't go out of my way to make you jealous, but at the same time I'd feel bad if I couldn't have platonic friends, for example that'd be awkward at work. Unfortunately it does require occasional socialising and I can't exactly just blank all the women.

But if you said "I don't want you spending time with that degenerate roastie bitch anymore" I'd respect that and distance myself from her because I'd want to have the same commitment from you.

>>18288060
What happened yesterday?

>>18288098
>muh having feelings is beta

You should perhaps kill yourself.

>>18288127
I disagree. The relationship she's looking for is obviously one not for every guy. But there are men like me who would give her everything of ourselves and be so happy doing so.

I'm 24 and I feel like absolutely everything I do is too childish for my age. Like I haven't matured and still think like a teen, and that many people secretly don't respect me for that.
All of the people I know who are my age already talk like serious boring people, have jobs, a girlfriend or boyfriend. But many of them also have their childish moments when they say stupid sex jokes that only an 11 year old would find funny.
I feel like I'm still 17.

Within next seven hours I am going to tell my friend that I've had a bit of a crush on her for better part of the year. At this point I won't even be sad if she does not react. I just want her to know. To get this off my chest, to stop overthinking this so much. A yes will be exciting, a definitive no will free me from overthinking us every day.

>>18287613
>>18287629
Too bad you hurt countless other guys in the process.

I doubt I'll meet someone special on Tinder but man do I enjoy reading their profiles. "I like movies, series and beer". Oh just like everyone else.
A guy with an interesting profile! Oh he's unattractive. Look, it's the same Simpsons joke I've read 5 times already!
Then there's "my bio is in english because it sounds deeper that way". I added one and corrected his grammar, then unmatched him lol. Why are you showing off a language you can't even speak?
There were some that I matched with but I can't get any interesting words out of them. Men complain about women not approaching them, yet somehow I always end up leading the conversation.
Here's another of the English speaking ones, his bio just says "Some might say". Some might say what? Maybe I should start adding those and talk to them in english, will be more interesting than the endless "hey how are you"s I get.

>>18288196
Like many have said before, age is just a number. All people mature differently. You'll know what it feels like when you're ready, if you will ever be. I think maturity is when you find happiness and peace in the simple things.

I became obsessed at the age of 12 with a woman who i considered to be the perfect ideal.

12 years later i finally decided to tell her all of my feelings. she responds poorly, i freak out and she calls the cops to make me leave her alone. In a crippling pit of depression and despair and having nothing left to live for i message her. she has me served and in court the judge didn't phrase the question in a way which i could defend myself as i had no lawyer nor could afford one. I got charged with harassment and the court placed an injunction of me putting a 4 year no contact order in place.

I almost killed myself by jumping off a bridge but that got stopped b4 i could do anything. got committed to a psych ward and now i take 6 different medications for my depression so i dont go break down and go crazy.

Hows life? pretty shit

>>18288191
I expect you would be happy for the first 7 years. I highly doubt it'd be sustainable for much longer than that though because of the lack of dynamics. Exceptions do exist of course, c.f.: Mike Pence.

But then that kind of guy would melt into a pool of anguish and torment at the sight of just 10% of what goes on on this website, and he doesn't exactly strike me as the most dynamic guy, so I stand by my skepticism.

Also, I question what happens if you have children in this kind of relationship. Am I supposed to just blank my daughter, or would my SO suddenly magically get over her fear/jealousy of me having platonic relationships with other women?

Elektra/Oedipal complexes are part of growing up, and they're likely to be off the chart if one parent is unavailable or the other is jealous/resentful. Better to be realistic and introspective about why you want what you want than to pass the time and monetary cost of therapy onto your kids when they grow up.

>>18288204
Good luck anon

So I have a question, for men and women if I could get an answer from both.
How many people have ever dated a narcissist sociopath?
The only reason I'm asking here is because I can remain anonymous and won't get harassed about things like trying to talk to a counselor. Anyways I wanna see how many people Answer before I ask my others because the others kind of overpower these lol.

>>18288273
I am one, if tat helps you get some perspective.
I felt that i was entitled to the woman i wanted.

It only works if the other person is codependent.
if not I just get sad

>>18288273
I agree with >>18288278

There are two types of narcissist, those that only care about themselves, and those that only care about someone else. It's great if you're one and meet the other, but great in the same way that heroin is, i.e.: self-destructive as fuck in the long run.

Which one are you?

I hope I am doing this right! I actually have never posted on here. I usually just scroll through all the crazy ass shit.
So, I will say I have anxiety and severe pain if. Pretty much under control never in my life suffered from depression. Now I do. I studied psychology, I was not a genius or anything but I have my obsessions and reading people is something I love to do. For my own safety.
So can I ask you, basically if I give you some examples and tell you how I interpret that situation can you tell me your interpretation. The only reason is he is a genius. He's an engineer and he works for aerospace machinists union. For navy and coast guard boats. He can read people almost as well as I can, but I am a women therefore my underlying superpower is manipulation. He has made me question myself to the point I've lost most of my memory panic attacks. And it's a very scary thing. I've never been helpless. And I feel helpless

>>18288296
I am the type that only cares for myself--
i routinely do self-destructive things for my own personal pleasure, and i construct the world around me with resources to make that happen.

it works unless something doesn't go my way, like the girl I like not falling prey to my manipulations.

I am dating a narcissist. I've never met anyone that can justify anything with such determination the way he can. Very interesting. This whole thing since I am trapped has sort of become a time of psychological study to entertain myself. I never get to leave the house or rarely even my bedroom. Today I get to go to town for a few hours. But I swear it's like finding a killer unicorn. A rarity that is only gonna end up killing you. Literally.

So you have narcissistic characteristics? I hope I read that right! Apologize if it's wrong. But what else. How about communication?

>>18288325
lol you're scum and your boyfriend has repressed cuck fantasies. prove me wrong. pro-tip: you can't.
>>18288314
>>18288278
see above.

>>18288328
click the number on the post you're replying or we don't know who you're trying to address. welcome to 4chan.

I feel so confused

I'm not asking for anything big

I just need guidance

Sorry I didn't realize they were all checked. I hope you all got tbe replies. Okay. Basically, I need to know about communication? Is there any? Is it
Good? Can you calm them down. What about when they do something wrong and you tell them, very nicely. (I did take communication classes) ; how about when it escalates? What's the worst that you have seen it get and how did they act? I'm pretty sure you all know where this is going, but for good reason I cannot say.
What about sex? Seriously I'm not playing? Romance? Or
Is romance just gone?
Family? His family? I know what the norm is, to everyone except this entire household (I live with him, was told it was his house, two years after moving in his mom moved back in, to her house) that was the day that I realized what was happening. His mother is worse. She kicks me out of the house constantly. Me and my son. Calls us names, won't let us eat, but I'm not supposed to cook in tbe kitchen, she follows us to the kitchen to watch what we are doing outside,after we leave the bathroom she immediately goes in. And I learned after that first night, never ever ever even say anything in disagreement with her. EVER.

>>18288343
Thank you! I didn't even take the time to look through the site to figure it out. Just sort of tried posting. So thank you for actually telling me and not ridiculing like most people do these days.

>>18288349
How do you tell who is who? Are we each given a different number every reply?

>>18288347
>>18288349
Click the number at the top right of the post(s) you're replying to fucktards.

For those of you who are enabling controlling narcissists, you do realise that they're not taking control, you're giving it to them? Which means you're really in control. They're your little bitch, not the other way around. Hate to burst your bubble, but as with all D/s, ultimate the sub has control.

Do you do it spite to people that actually love you, or is it because love is too much to bear?

>>18288377
This I know, as I said I studied psychology. This isn't about the control, I guess I just wanna know if they are all the same way. The constant degrading things I put up with has made me doubt my own knowledge. I actually almost thought I was crazy for a min. But one day during a fight my daughter walked up to me and confirmed that I did remember it right. I'm not worried about the control. I am more worried about keeping things calm and finding ways to avoid confrontation to make it out of here alive.
And it's gonna take a min to get out. I have no family, none. My mom died at 42. Shelters cannot take me because my son is over 12. And like I said I rarely get out of my room, so I do not know anyone. And the very few I did trust to and for help. Well they were women and tried to use it against me. So I didn't get on here for sarcasm or rudeness. I seriously just wanna know what I can do to best keep a narcissist calm, until I have an escape plan. And no I will never call the police. Don't care if I'm shot, I will never.

my 17 year old friend died from cancer a year ago on this day. most of the time i'm more angry than sad about it because she had so much potential. she was an incredible golfer and was so smart. she wanted to be a doctor. she played the guitar. she was the kind of person that would give you the shirt off her back. a lot of times i wish it was me that died instead because she had a lot more going for her than i do. the day she died was the day i stopped believing in god.

You fucking dumb cunt. How dare you shit on someone that considered you a friend in front of all. I was right all along in my first and later judgements of you, and I hope she never trusts you ever again. You're the kind of person who'd put down others to play the maximum martyr possible, the abusive person that since she is ~passionate~ and ~hard working~ has the right to say who has done well and who hasn't. I hope you learned your lesson.

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>>18288412
Omg I'm sorry, if you don't mind me asking what kind of cancer? And I always believed that you should find strength in yourself above anyone else. Cause if life's taught me anything it's that I'm gonna be there for me, and that's a guarantee. Anything else is a possibility. I don't believe in telling people to love something above your own children or loved ones.

>>18288413
Who is that in response to?

>>18288349
>I need to know about communication? Is there any?
Sure, it's just all one-way

>What's the worst that you have seen it get and how did they act?
the cuck kills you and then pussies out of killing himself

> Romance? Or is romance just gone?
They can emulate it, when they need to repress the cuck fetishes deeper

>was told it was his house
>his mom moved back in, to her house
basically proving my point that they're manchildren that never got over the fact that mommy fucks daddy, not them and play that image over and over in their subconscious.

>>18288400
Sorry from your initial posts it seemed like you actually wanted to be in this situation.

The narcissists world doesn't actually include other people. They don't exist independently of the narcissist, they're just extensions of him. They can't handle it if you disrupt this illusion, so don't. It threatens their reality, their life.

>Don't care if I'm shot, I will never.
You might not care but your son will. If he's not shot right after. And who's going to take your place? Most likely your daughter.

Do you have any other family? Father? siblings? cousins? Family is your best bet, blood is thicker than wine.

I wish I could be of more help. I'm in agony because I lost a girl to narcissist. See >>18286969 and >>18287607

>>18288433
Someone who'll never see this place, a classmate. Goddamn I'm still angry.

>>18288435
I have no one. My moms mom is dying and my father remarried and his wife has kids. So she doesn't want me there. And my son does care. But he knows what will happen if we do call the police. Hey will put him in state custody in a group him automatically. I've looked into it. And for him. He said he can't be separated from me st a time like that. He would freak. I'm sorry for the confusion. This is obviously not gonna help. I really didn't know what I could have gained. I just don't even have anyone at all to even call if I need help. I don't qualify for housing because I was on that when I moved in here. And I came to his house for a weekend and was supposed to move out next month. I was never brought back to pack my stuff. I lost it all. And now I have to pay the people, for basically throwing away my stuff. No damage but I checked jnfo that too. He's about twenty miles from town and there's a bus that I can take if I walk twenty mins. However; it only passes 3 or 4 times a day. 8 am 11 am 4 pm 6 pm if I remember correctly.

Id really like to give you everything you deserve and make you feel like you're worth more than your current situation. It's clear to me that you've built up quite a following and have many admirers. I guess i just don't want to waste my precious time and resources on a friendship when i want more.

>>18288456
I'm sorry anon. I don't know what to say. Act carefully. Use incognito/InPrivate browsing and try to find NGOs/charitable organisations that can help.

>This is obviously not gonna help. I really didn't know what I could have gained.
If nothing else you started to try to help yourself. Don't give up.

>>18288435
OMG-
I hate to ask but what happened? What I read; there was no ending! and you don't have to say, it's fine, but wow. That is one heart wrenching story? I'm so sorry, the way you portrayed the memory it was as if I was watching it.

>be suicidal
>figure i should make a straight up no holds barred attempt at success before giving up
>started masters program
>told myself that if i didn't have a job in my field 6 months after i graduate i would go on a crazy bender, spend thousands of dollars and then off myself
>different employers respond positively when i put out feelers
>current employer (retail) really likes the work i put in and is considering me for management when a spot opens
>amend promise to include also getting a gf since i know that's impossible
>this was a year ago
>as the days go on i want to die more and more
>seriously considering moving the schedule up
>begin scouting locations

just kinda spitballing here desu


can you drive to the north pole?

>>18288479
I do, we have bags packed. But that's just emergency overnight bags. Thank you for letting me explain. I was confused as to why I was being basically yelled at lol. Sorry for the confusion. It was worth a shot. Thank you. Me and my son are good people, something will happen. Hopefully it won't be too late.

>>18288503
The North Pole? How huh

>>18286991
If this is who I hope it is, it's alright. You leaving truly was the best for both of us.
I wish you told me about your intentions when you first started thinking about it, we could've had said adult conversation. Hell, we did, about other things, didn't we? We made plans and whatnot.
We were both at fault. I started wearing a mask and refused to let anyone see how hurt I was, this pushed you away and you made your second mistake.
It's just how life is, I don't blame you for any of it whatsoever.
"The good far outweights the bad", is what I wish we could've said, but unfortunately it didn't work like that anymore.
You were under different kinds of pressure, stranded, isolated. I was stressed and allowing myself to ferment anger leftover from work. You had that online thing and we didn't handle it well. I never truly recovered from that and I hung it over your head every possible chance. It wore us down a lot, and you lost the one person who was always there for you.
But you found someone else. By then, I had fully adopted this new persona of an untouchable guy.
I'm still sure we could've fixed things with hard work, but this definitely brought to light so many issues I had (and some that I still have).
The important part isn't that we are together or not. What truly matters is that we're both happy now.
And if you're not, know I'm always rooting for you. Thank you for the wonderful experience we had. Mistakes aside, you set the bar pretty damn high. Ladies have a lot to live up to.

And in the event this post wasn't by the person I wanted it to be, well..It's off my chest now. Hopefully, the person who it's intended to will actually read this. And further hoping that the person will consider not hating me.

>>18288503
Why Did u ask that? Are you from Alaska? You don't have to answer that sorry,
And there is always hope,
I bet you are younger than I am
I don't think I could even maintain a normal relationship anymore. I haven't even been kissed in five years, or held. Not a single date. I've lost hope in dating. And I understand why you would feel that way. But one thing that for me through life (the only thing) was that there was Always hope that someone would love me, and be with me, and the fact that I always believed that love really exists. And it's the driving force behind.mnkind. Without love what would we strive for as. Species. Our advancements come for showing off for each other. I used to believe that someday I would find someone to love me loyally, honestly, and truly. And I still hope that someday I might even though I feel like an old granny and should just give up use the gun he keeps fully loaded under his pillow and decorating his pillow for him. But I can't. Cause my Irish stubbornness will not allow it. If I did that would mean he won. And he will not. I don't deserve this and nor does my son. I will be going now. Have to go to pay his bills today. I love getting out to the fresh air. Thank you for your help and I have no idea who u r, but thank you for trying. I am very sorry for your pain. Please remember no matter sbdg there is always hope

>>18288502
Thanks, I really put my heart into that, I've been carrying it around for so long and I've never properly let it out before.

There is no ending, that's the problem. Part of me wants to call. I'm scared the number won't work anymore. I'm scared when she realises it's me she'll just hang up, because I'm dead to her, or because he's next to her, or because she's just too far brainwashed. I emailed her on Christmas - I know that means something to her. But obviously not as much as being controlled by him does.

I don't know what to do, I'm fighting back the tears again.

I feel like I'm abandoning a friend when they need help the most, I know it's what I "should" do, I can't commit to doing that, on principle. A man without principles is not a man.

>>18288511
Safe travels. And checked btw, I know you probably don't know what that means, but we like to think it means something, even if it's nothing.

I just cried after watching a funny baby compilation on youtube because I'm a fucking loser who won't be able to have kids

>>18288557
You have to call, omg you have too. I could probably guarantee tbe number would no longer be connected. And I guarantee he will be sitting right there. But I can also guarantee this, if he is the way that I am visualizing, then she is broken, lost, dead inside, probably a lot the way you feel. But while he sleeps and she probably cries thinking about why she's there, and how she wishes otherwise. She won't leave right Away. Depending on the amount of control/abuse she has endured. She will remember though. And over time. She might build her self worth up again. Enough to walk away. And it might be you that helps her to that. Don't push. Don't expect. If you truly love her you will understand. I have no idea. And I wish I could help. I wish I could be there. I feel like I'm watching it on tv and it's gonna cut off with those unsatisfactory endings. Don't just not try. Not only will you at least know, but it will give you closure. For your own good.

>tfw my crush is in a relationship
>tfw i'm happy for her because she's been having a rough time
>tfw also feel really shit

>>18288578
I spoke to her ex-roommate, he said her father had heard from her recently. Apparently they're engaged. He said her number probably would still work because it's the only way her family can still get hold of her.

I don't know that she's where you say she's at yet. I can see it going there, but she entered into the voluntarily - she wanted this. At least she thought she did, and don't know if she still does, but knowing her, she does. She will until it's too later, until she's at the same place as the other anon in this thread trying to escape it.

I don't know what to say when I do call. I imagine the conversation in my head. I try not to be angry, but it's hard. I think you're right though, I think I won't get closure until I try. Thank you.

>>18288612
Fuck this is too fucking real

In fact you pretty much summed up exactly how I feel right now. I really, really want to be happy for her and her bf but at the same time I'm... hurt. If that makes me immature then... so be it. I'm immature. Seeing the two of them be affectionate and loving with each other really stings but I know they're not intending to do so. They're just happy and I'm a bitter, jealous, petty asshole.

>>18288273
I was with a covert(failed) cerebral narcissist for 12 years. Married for 10, two children. He controlled every aspect of my life, isolated me, then after he'd gotten what he'd wanted from me (he was always honest about using me to breed "beautiful children" because I had the kind of bone structure he admired most) he cruelly abused me, cut me off, and then dumped me and legally kidnapped my beloved daughters. I am now embroiled in legal cases and he has me tethered to him for life. I loved and trusted him for many years, but I did the unforgivable and broke free. Now his cold vindictiveness has no bounds. Narcissists are very dangerous people. It's hard to leave them. They make it difficult. Leave while you can! Google the diagnosis and if they fit every category get out!

>>18288413
You're not talking about L are you? Because if you are, and as long as we're on the subject -- NARCISSIST. Look in her eyes. There's deadness. (If you're not, sorry about the projection but that's what this thread is all about, isn't it?)

How can you tell me you love me and want to be with me and then tell me you're not attracted to me.

How can you sit there and look me in the face while on my bed in my house that I fucking bought with my own god damn money and tell me about how your ex fucked you so good. Then tell me you don't want to have sex with me.

The more we go one the more I realize you're just another blown out whore with mental issues and I'm the white knight picking up the pieces. I'm so close to dropping your ass the only reason I don't is I think you'd kill yourself. It's getting to the point where I'm either going to kill myself because you don't give a fuck about me, or I'll leave you and you'll kill yourself or self destruct.
You won't let me love you
You won't let me be loved by you
So why the fuck do you say you love me? Because where is it? Why are you even with me if I fucking disgust you! Why the fuck can't you just put our issues to the side for me? I did the same. So you don't want to fuck. Well welcome to the real world people do shit they don't want to do all the time. You can sacrifice a fucking 2 hour block of time once a week for sex and cuddling for my fucking mental and emotional health. The fact that you can't makes me disgusted by your vain ass. God knows Iv sacrificed my entire fucking life for you already. If you ever read this A know that I love you and hate you, you bitch.

God I wish you even knew what 4chan was. I wish I could tell you this in person. But it wouldn't do shit. You'd just leave or kill yourself. You're not willing to hange anything about yourself or work on the relationship. It's your way or the fucking highway.

>>18288132

I don't know how to express how it made me feel, or why it hurts so much, but I was told to move on. Wasn't even directly to me, it was told to me by my brother who she got in contact with to tell me that.

S, you need to stop these games.

I get it, you don't want commitments and you can't shake the promiscuous side of you and im not saying you're a bad person for having a history of sleeping around. I can see it's eating you alive inside however. I can see the guilt in your face whenever we hangout, I know you've been hooking up with other guys since we've been dating and I'm a fool for not ending this earlier.

You and your friends are apart of this sexual liberation thing that most college aged girls are into; random hookups and keeping a rolodex of guys to turn to whenever you need some dick and I'm not against it. Lots of options to weigh when you date so I get no commitments. However saying shit like "I love you so much,. You're my favorite my love, I'm grateful for you" etc. Just drives the blade deeper into my chest. That shit isnt deciphered as "best friend" love. You're playing with emotions there and it can get very ugly.

In other words, don't be such a fucking hoe for once and lead people on/break their hearts. I can't stand this shit anymore.

These threads are really fucking weird. It comes across like some sort of bizarre roleplay chatroom.

>>18288132

But hey I got my guitar.

>>18288807
If this is weird to you, you should leave 4chan before you see something that really messes you up

I'm a beaten, caged animal.

A part of me hopes you're afraid of me. Afraid of my unpredictable behavior. Afraid of the power you've given me. Afraid because I have nothing to lose.

>>18288925
You're a conscious being, act like it.

>>18288807
At this point, it is.
It was a vent thread at first, but then a schizoid came to play.

Best that you leave and stay leave for a while.

I am ok.

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>>18286038
It's not even a question for me. When I see a vajayjay I think "That's a thing." and when I see a dick I think "This is also a thing." But when I'm aroused and see a VJJ I think "I want to go swimming." and when I see a dick I think "I'm no longer aroused."

Not a single part of me sees dick as even a possibility of being fun, attractive, or something I would want to put in or even around my body.

>>18288913
I can deal with actual weirdness. It's what basically amounts to a tripfag circlejerk without the trips that I don't get. "Oh hey, it's me XZ, hi QF lol" and then that one person out of all the people in the world who they totally didn't know browses /adv/ "randomly" comes across the message and can "somehow" tell by the vague description that it's talking about him. It's just fucking retarded. If you ACTUALLY know some person and planned this you obviously could have had this conversation in private, and if you're just pretending there are better places for your weird roleplay shit.

>>18288932
I'm a damaged conscious being.

And I act like a damaged conscious being.

And you know it's all your fucking fault.

>>18288947
We're all damaged in some way, nobody escapes the negatives of life and it's up to us to either move forward or remain stagnant in our lives.

Are you actually okay with us being like this? I have a nagging feeling that you are hesitant, like you're holding back. Trust in me, when I say that I care about you. I'm not trying to hurt you, I'm trying to help. You're unhappy, and it's clear to me you are, that have been for a while now.

You ever want things to be different, should you grow tired of the ways things are going now. Contact me, and maybe we can just go out for that cup of coffee, have a good break from all this. Promise you'll enjoy it. For now take care and maybe someday I'll learn to shut up. :D although it's hard when it comes to you.

What does J-DAY got to do with all of this all of the sudden? What happened to Kitty Bunny? People were absolutely fucking OBSESSED with the bunny but now it's all about the Red Fox. Is it because Bunny had a dick after all and you guys finally realized I'm not gay?

>>18288982
>We're all damaged in some way,
I don't even know if I'm an actual human anymore. My entire life has been psychological torture for people's entertainment.

You're one of those people that say shit like "lol I'm so introverted, I get so awkward at parties XD" while someone like me hasn't gone outside is months.

>>18288080
Family approval. Very frowned upon, as it'd be an age gap relationship. Not by much...less than 10 years, and I'm of legal age (18 on the dot), but for the time, it'll be controversial as hell, and will only lessen in controversy once we're BOTH in our 20's.

>>18288080
Also, I'm planning on telling him soon. 3 weeks from now or less, depending on the opportunity. I hope I have the balls, although I'm sure he already knows, which will make things easier.

Sorry for the disjointed replies, I'm multitasking somewhat.

I don't even know if I'm a man or a woman. I do know I wish I was a woman, though. Biologically, I have no fucking idea what I am. It could go either way.

>>18288995
Don't let other peoples shit influence your life.. what can I really tell you. At some point you have to let go of all the bullshit and just move on because for all we know we only live once and it's not worth wasting a single second on things you cannot change.

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Do you guys enjoy finding singers to look like my friends? M, J, R...

>>18289010
>Don't let other peoples shit influence your life..
it's not an influence if you're in a cage you fucking retard. It's control.

>>18289031
Use whatever excuse you want I don't fucking care about you or your problems faggot.

I don't want to die

>>18286044
I was like this until I could no more, there was a time where I thought I lost everything. You must realize where all here for a reason, you can't let other put you down.

please
I know you remember that night
I know you remember what you said to me
so please talk to me

>>18286048
Perhaps you haven't found that one thing that stands above others, one that thing that could truly make you glad and forget everything else

I am feeling very lonely at the moment. I am sad and hopeless. I watch "uplifting" youtube vids like this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehc2x4BleQI
Gives me a good feeling for a moment.

I felt the need to probe out for contact. So many people yet one can feel so alone :(
How the fuck do I get friends or a GF? :S

im a virgin at 19

>>18289069
m or f

>>18289069
Dont worry about this, I was a virgin at 24. Every value of being a virgin or not is made up.
Only fact it tells is you didnt have sex yett. If you are eager for sex then try to work on getting a girl/boy. Or even go to a ho.
My first time was great, but after wards nothing special.

I recently found weirdly affectionate texts between my boyfriend and his closest girl friend (who he used to hook up with) from September. We were dating in September. He was hitting on her but she was reciprocating. I am so mad at both of them but mostly her, who pretended to be my friend while she let my boyfriend stay wrapped around her finger. She is a user and an attention whore.
She sells drugs. I've been submitting anonymous tips to the police in our town that include all her information. Her address, phone number, license plate number, facebook, instagram, twitter...
I also listed the drugs she sells with some incredibly hard substances thrown in their so they will raid her house quickly. Every time she travels and I see that she is in an airport on snapchat, I submit a tip to the local police saying she could have drugs in her bags.
I know this is my boyfriend's fault but I can't wait for her to get sent to jail. I'll make sure to tell his parents where she went before I break up with his sorry ass.
I am petty. Should I see a therapist or something?

>>18289098
Well, feels made up.
If not, then you are also an attention whore and a friend pretender.

>>18289106
Not made up at all.
And attention whore? I don't think I'm in this for the attention as I have told nobody about this. And as far as being a friend pretender, she knows we are not friends. After finding the texts I sent her a photo of them, and she brushed them off and blamed everything on my boyfriend even though she was the one reciprocating. Now I refuse to be in the same room as her. If she comes by while I am with my boyfriend, I leave.

She cheated on her current boyfriend with my boyfriend last year, so she is just sucking up to me at this point so I don't ruin her relationship by telling her current boyfriend about her past cheating.
I'm not concerned with her relationship, and would rather let her get convicted for the crimes she commits. That way she will be out of my life for good.

>>18289118
You seem to be an awe full lot of energy into putting her in prison. You sound obsessed with anger/hate for her.
She is what she is. That you where more angry at her then at your BF also can proof that point. Who cares about that crazy bitch. Sounds you where hardly close.
Your BF and you had a more trusting relationship. In my opinion he was far more wrong that her. As he had more responsibility towards you then her.
Just breakup with him and block her. Stop wasting energy on this.

>>18289137
he was absolutely more wrong than her, but I am more angry at her than him. I definitely have a disproportionate amount of anger towards her. I am not obsessed, as sending a tip in only takes about 5 minutes, but I constantly see her in person which really rubs the situation in. I spend a lot of time at my boyfriend's house. She comes over to hang out with him and his friends and to hand out free drugs. I always immediately leave because I do not want to be around her. I drive home, make a cup of tea, and submit a quick police tip. It just feels like vindication for her invading my space.
I am not proud of my actions. I think I am being petty and bitter. But I don't see any reason to stop. If my boyfriend cared about me being nice to her, he should have stayed away from her. If she wanted me to be nice to her, she should have not been a snake.

>>18289150
Well, seems you convinced yourself that you are right. Carry on then.

>>18289164
It seems that I have. I'll think about what I am doing and if it is helping me or just dredging up thoughts that make me upset. Thank you!

>>18289170
Your welcome! Thats a good thing to keep in mind. On that note you dont sound that crazy ;)

>>18289150
I see above that you are already reflecting on your actions, but I want to emphasize this sentence for you:

>he was absolutely more wrong than her, but I am more angry at her than him.

This is... not good, hon. Really think about this sentence. What are you hiding from by being angrier with her than you are with him? I think you know. But it's something for you to reflect on.

>>18289212
Agreed, I also found that conflicting but I gave up on her already. The seems you convinced yourself was a bit sarcastic.

You fucking retards think it was the medicine making me paranoid?

FUCKING SERIOUSLY?

IN THIS SITUATION YOU SERIOUSLY THINK THE PARANOIA WAS CAUSED BY MEDICATION.

Holy fucking shit, you have to be the shittiest fucking psychiatrists in the entire world. None of you should be fucking paid a dime for any of this.

In fact, you should all be hunted down and fucking murdered for being so fucking shitty that you're causing me unneeded stress, anxiety, and damage.

So, A, my favorite russian cupcake, when we smash?

>>18289300
How's your cat

>>18288527
B?

I just want the grey kitten.

Shes the one I dream of.

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You know... whenever I would see R wear her hatchet earrings I would think of that picture of M with the hatchet behind her back. For some odd reason I always thought the two were connected.

Now... now I'm starting to think they always were.

I looked at that picture again just now.

>Summer cottage - that's interesting

M, princess, was it always you?

>>18289307
>>18289300
Dead. Let's see his Russian whore bring him back.

Going to be honest, I try to think I would be able to resist you when the time comes. That I would be able to not be the world's entertainment anymore.

But she's so god damn pretty. She's so god damn innocent looking.

I know she's not though.

And despite looking so frail, so innocent... I want to do just the naughtiest things to her.

Shes the only girl that makes me think that way.

You all better keep her safe. The jealousy of the world is on her shoulders and I fear for her safety. There are those that would want to take her place and more that want to remove what I treasure from this world.

Even from those years ago, I could tell you were an oddity darlin. That you were an emotional, damaged wreck. Every time anyone asked about you I would tell them "Oh, her? She's crazy."

God, why do I love my women crazy? Why do I fall in love with only the bad girls? The ones guaranteed to break my heart...

Remember when you emailed me out of nowhere telling me about your dream where we got married? How you wished you could be so lucky. How you wanted me to fly to you?

I wonder if any part of that remains.

I wonder how much of this is purely in my head.

I wonder if she likes her boys as crazy as she is.

>>18289337
>>18289307
who the fuck are you both?

I don't understand why I can't just let myself think any of you like me or want me to be around, No matter what I do whenever I think about hanging out the thoughts just appear, and then I'm to scared to talk to any of you. The worst of all is her, The girl I love is slowly losing interest all because a part of myself won't let me fully believe that she wants to be with me. I don't understand why I can't have good things without being paranoid, that they're not true and I'm just lying to myself, I just want to be able to let myself be happy, or to atleast tell someone so I can make things better.

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I fucking forgot what kind of place 4chan is. I've been on here so long and so much it stopped being "that site" like efukt or pornhub. Everything on here got so normalized to me it's scary. Fuck I can't even remember when I watched my first gore video but I can remember that feeling of desensitization to it watching video after video of it.

You blocked me but you added the creeper that threatened you with a gun? That sexually assaulted you when he was your manager?
What the fuck? I did absolutely nothing wrong to you!

>>18288432
i've always tried working on making myself a better self sufficient person especially since i have all those fun things like anxiety, depression etc... but she died from leukemia and it's the only person that's ever died in my life. i remember it like it was yesterday when she was sitting behind me in class laughing at my corny donnie darko jokes. ugh... sometimes i wanna believe she's still here but then when i think of her on an autopsy table being pumped full of formaldehyde and buried shortly after that it all just seems so surreal. she should be graduation high school in a week with me but she's not she's six feet underground

I give up! Do I need to spell it out for you to get it??

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To be honest i am pretty sad with the fact that there are a lot of broken people.. I can't say i am not broken either. People have problems. The hardest thing in life is to stay positive. Not to mention a lot of people are using a facade to show how happy they are. Some of them even indulge in self pity and posting their problems to get attention from their friends. Some of them acts wise on social media while they did not practice what they preach.

I really wish that they get what they want.. But knowing how people can be greedy, they might ask for more. I am confused.. I dont think there is an end for this problem..

I am rambling from here on

Peter, you probably hate me now. You wanted to go away from me. I get that. I pushed you away. Maybe we were not meant to be together. To be honest i am still in love with you. With your awkwardness. I wanted us to be friends.. To try again someday. Knowing that you deleted me from the social media and telling me to delete your phone number and move on.. I guess i can only love you without telling you that i still want you back.

D, P, L, please take care of him for me.. And please.. As much as i hate to say this.. Help him to choose a better partner for him..

Jordan, i used to love you. You needed help and i want to be there for you. I care about you like a sister would. But you, disappearing on me makes me worried. You told me a lot happened and you are depressed. You never tell me anything.. How am i supposed to not worry about you?

If only i can be so ignorant about everything.

Alex.
You are literally a 10.
You're attractive, athletic, well-dressed, rich, popular...
And yet you're single.
Honestly fuck off with that shit.
Get a girlfriend.
Holy shit.
It's literally pissing off the entire gay community at school.
YOU'RE NOT ONE OF US.
But if you are I am down to fuck immediately.
Anyway, seriously, it's time.
Pick any woman.
Literally any of them.
Anyone will take your dick.
Thanks!

>>18289672
What did you give up?

a few days ago, the morning after I put up the PLEASE HELP ME signs in my room... I heard distant yelling, shouting, and chanting from a large crowd. It sounded like a riot was heading my way. Kinda like at the beginning of inception...

Are people protesting for me? Are they trying to set me free? Do they know I am not a willing participant in this?

I'm not ok. Every day I'm falling apart more and more.

If you wait any longer to end this, there might not be anything left to salvage.

>>18289788
literally what
please explain
before the thread dies please