so, my fiance and i talked about video games and i told him i

>do you think kids can regulate their media consumption just fine without adult guidance?
no. On the other Hand, it's not so much about forbidding the Kids to Play Video Games, it's more about giving them alternatives and nurturing them. If they're not allowed vidya but are still left alone they'll find other degenerate shit to do, especially if they are influenced by other Kids.

You shouldn't ask what we think.

This is between you two.

This is an issue you guys have to solve together and come to an agreement upon, because if you don't learn how to do that here, you're going to be in trouble when it comes up with someone else later.

That being said, feel free to go get educated on the matter and look up some articles and studies.

A lot of them are contentious and child development as a field is in no way concrete.

But it's a whole hell of a lot more reliable than the uneducated opinions of 4chaners.

>>18285093
Of course children can't regulate their media consumption. In the same way a fish will eat until it dies if you let it, children are insatiable in their appetite for quick and fast stimulation. Steve Jobs recognized this and wouldn't even let his own children own an iPad. I'm 20 so I recognize I'm still young and not much older than children today but I was always in the street playing with my friends when I was in elementary school. My father got so sick of it he banned me temporarily from playing outside for a while because I wasn't doing my homework. My friends younger brother is really into electronics and there is something off about him. Granted, I know not all children are like this but I think watching so much tv and playing so many video games did this.

I don't think anyone over the age of 25 should be playing more than 5 hours a week on video games. I use to play all CSGO all the time but when I saw how many hours I logged in it made me realize I was wasting my time. I began reading more and have read 5 books in the past few weeks. I began drawing and took up boxing classes. If your husband still avidly plays video games he has a stupid hobby. You are making the right choices and doing what's best for your children.

>>18285101
my words. i told him i can definitely see how this is the easy way out for parents. the kids are entertained and you're free to do whatever you want. no need to actually spend time with them. and i told him i don't want that. if i have kids, i DO want to spend time with them. ofc there would be exceptions like rainy and lazy sunday afternoons or when they are sick at home. but i don't want it to be the go-to and staple entertainment for every waking hour.
i worked with kids from toddlers to teenagers and you can easily tell which one have unregulated media access at home. i don't want that. i'm not saying they wouldn't be allowed to play vidya or whatever at all. just with parental guidance. they will be old enough so we can't say shit anymore soon enough.

>>18285107
actually, in other areas, we are able to so that just fine. this topic just hit a nerve because he spent/spends a lot of time consuming media and i think he takes this as me trying to "change him". i told him that this isn't about me wanting him to stop spending his free time however he wants since he is an adult and can decide himself. this is about what i want for our future kids. i tried to tell him that i don't think it's "evil" and should be forbidden. i just want it reulated. i gave books about the topic at home if he need further professional opinions, but he just completely shuts down and thinks i'm trying to "attack him".

>>18285110
i said i don't want my kids to end as fat neet virgins and i think that was what insulted him (he's nothing like that...). i told him i know enough guys that ended like that because their parents were too big pussies to actually be parents. i also said that i don't think that lifestyle per se is dangerous, but if stuff like depressions starts playing into it, too, that's where it might become a down hill thing.

he's not playing very much. but he still plays some wow on his days off. and this reslly doesn't bother me. i donmt get why he has to turn this discussion to him when it's not about im at all.

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time limits for playing vidya...
strewth!!!!

i mean, why don't you just chop his balls off while your at it.
also, i think depriving your kids of the completely necessary intensive training provided by putting in long hours gaming to git gud and rule as hardcore gamers is tantamount to neglect

>>18285114

If this is an emotional knee jerk response where he won't listen to logic you can do one of three things:

1.) try to find a way to diffuse this shit so it's not such a landline of insecurity for him (hardest option. Not sure how to do that since I don't know him)

2.) call him out on it and tell him to stop being such a narcissistic and insecure bitch about it. So get over it. This isn't about him. It's about the child that you soon have.

3.) wait to have the child-- to where he can hold it in his/her arms and he realizes that the new center of his world is now resting in his fingers--and talk about it again and about what's best for the child.

I still maintain, being able to have REAL Arguments (where you are aware that one or both of you are HIGHLY emotional), knowing how to diffuse them, and knowing how to find a solution from them are skills you will need to know, develop, and recognize in one another.

>>18285135
eugh... not for him. for the kids!

yeah, you know, they could also pick up a sport and put in the effort to git gud at that. that has also health benefits in comparison to sitting in a dark room, staring at a screen in an unealthy sitting position...

Sure at the start you think you will want to spend a lot of time with your kid and that is very cute. In reality you will get sick of them and just plop them down in-front of the TV when you need personal time.

Parents that limit videogames / tv / whatever time and then ask their kids to entertain themselves in some other way and just "go outside for once" are completely fucking retarded.

You seem to have a very poor understanding of what a child is and how to help them develop. Neither tv nor videogames are harmfull in any way, and both are actually important socializing factors in today's day and age.

My advice to you is to let go of your out of dated misconceptions about child development and actively research the subject

We are mostly college aged kids on 4chan, so take it with a bucket of salt, but half an hour is fucking nothing. Limits are good, but that's a bit harsh.
My parents let me watch tv after 5 pm on weekends, and that felt like a good balance.

Despite their limitations on age appropriate stuff, however, you best believe I was playing M rated games at my friend's house and watching porn and family guy in 7th grade. You're a fool if you think your son wouldn't find a way to do the same.

Honestly if it were me, the only time I'd consider limiting media to children is perhaps it started taking priority over school work being completed. ie. Playing xbox instead of completing homework and handing it in on time is one of the only issues with letting children play vidya or watch tv. Once they are teenagers I'd still monitor their performance in school until they're mature enough to organize and balance work with play. Just my two cents

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>>18285093
I used to have a time limit on my video games and I know 3 people who had strict time limits on TV.
When you limit access to stuff when kids are young, they compensate when they get older. When I was finally able to play games without a time limit I was addicted because I never had to learn to limit myself. Also not having access made it into something I valued over other activities.
Same with the friends that didn't have access to TV. They didn't understand common references that everyone else understood and 2 of them watch way too much TV now. That's basically all they do at home.
Putting a 30 minute to 1 hour time limit doesn't give them enough time to get bored of it and want to find something else.

>>18285093
>half an hour a day is enough
Come on, that's ridiculously low.

>age appropriate stuff
Kinda silly given how ratings happen.

>do you think kids can regulate their media consumption just fine without adult guidance?
They could if they already widened their interests and learned that there is more to life than consuming shit, so most kids don't.

Your idea to regulate their time and pay attention to the content is good, your limits and criteria aren't.

>>18285093
I would have just told you sure, set whatever limits you want, however I'm not going to enforce them, discipline any infraction or enforce any discipline stemming from said infraction.

Yes, regulate. Kids do not know what's best for themselves, and I know this hurts to hear if you are all about raising them to be free and independent. But kids are like gerbils. They will be attracted to the ipad because of what it offers their brains pleasure center. And leaving them like that is a recipe for disaster.

A lot of parents are just really reluctant to hear their kids screaming or crying. But that's what you have to do.

>>18285385
This is the harsh truth

Babies learn the ipad because parents are people who aren't totally down with being parents. blah blah blah gotta have muh me time!!! Like fuck you, do your job or go walk into the ocean.

Oh and op, I grew up with my time regulated. I had about two or three hours only on the WEEKENDS to play. How did I cope? just fine, really. I was never bored easily. I had a bike that I rode every day and learned the streets of my city. My dad had a giant messy garage with his tools, which I was often fond of exploring in. I picked up little pieces of junk and guessed what they were for, and made them into new pieces of junk. My dad told me that I was always a busy kid. So not having game didn't affect me, I can't even say that not having games was a positive thing. It just wasn't relevant. I would have found things to do and games would have just been one of them.

well, that's what I want to say. But the clear cut matter is is that games is not the same thing as fashioning junky imaginary weapons. Because video games are another world, and to that extent, I do think regulation needs to be applied. The longer time you spend on the internet or video games or tv, the more disconnected you are with who you really are and what exactly is going on around you. The more you will begin applying lens from other mediums to your own life and the less control you will have over your understandings and in effect, your reactionary behavior.

You want your child to grow up grounded and have a sense of 'his world'? Then yes, please control media consumption. Otherwise you will have a hard time understanding him.