How to get over the pain/regret for fucking things up with a

>>18283645

Shit happens. Learn for next time.

>>18283645
Dunno man but I'm checking in as well for this support group.

>>18283655
I didn't really learn anything though.

>>18283645
How did you fuck up exactly?
If it was really going to happen it wouldn't have failed to a one mistake or one missed chance.

>>18283666

Then you did waste your time. At least learn to pay more attention next time.

>>18283684
Wow I just typed up a whole fucking greentext and refreshed the page. I'm gonna go kill myself now.

>>18283782
Retype it, or maybe just tldr it

>>18283684
>>18283782
>>18283833
Ok, let's try this again:
>be 21
>qt starts work
>flirting with me, maybe
>ok definitely flirting with me
>come to find out she's 16 going on 17
>worried about blatantly flirting back because of her age
>fuck, I wanna ask this girl out but I need to have a conversation first
>strongly hint that we should have lunch together
>goes over her head
>subtly tease her about not sitting down with me tell her she "owes me" as a joke, more on that later
>strongly hint again
>goes over her head again
>our schedules change so we'll never have lunch at the same time again
>ok, I still wanna ask this girl out
>say since she "owes me"...
>she doesn't know what I'm talking about
>fuckthisgirlisclueless.jpeg
>was going to say she could get me back for lunch by having lunch with me this weekend
>get interrupted by this faggot I work with twice
>puss out because I had to try to get this sentence out like three times and I'm exhausted
>ask her out for real like two weeks later
>she says yes
>text to confirm
>"sorry I have xyz school activity"
>(she plays sports so this could very well be true, doesn't reschedule nonetheless)
>"ok whatever"
>acts super fucking flirty next time we work together
>"ok, maybe she really couldn't make it and was too shy to make new plans"
>text her that weekend
>"hey we're going to lunch"
>"my bf wouldn't like that..."
>play it off cool

Fast forward like 7 months, she's still seeing the same guy. Find out like two weeks ago she's moving to the other side of the state for college when summer's over.

Sorry for blog post; it's kind of a long story.

>>18283901
>"I fucked things up"
>how?
>"I kinda flirted with a girl who didn't say she had a boyfriend"
???

>>18283913
Yeaaaah this...

Your going to need to explain because your logic isn't making any sense.

>>18283645
You forget eventually.

But it still stings a bit when you remember. For me at least. I have a few in my past. Still pissed when i think about it. I even have a great gf now but still.. Dat pussy i missed tho..

I fucked up big time with a 10/10 girl back in 8th grade. She was the most desirable girl in our grade. I was an ugly nerd who never got any attention from girls. But I went through a sudden transformation where I got hot really quickly. My skin cleared up, I got rid of my glasses and got contacts, my braces came off, and I got a nice hair cut. All of the sudden, this chick was all over me. But I had no idea how to respond to this attention. I went from 0 to 100 over night and was just overwhelmed by this chick liking me.

Well, long story short, one time she tried hooking up with me but I was so nervous that I bailed and kind of ran away from her. She lost interest in me after that. And a lot of people heard about it and made fun of me. Crazy enough, she eventually gave me another chance. I didn't run away the next time, but I was still too nervous to make a move on her, despite her giving me tons of signals. She eventually lost interest in me again and we haven't spoken in a decade.

It still stings when I think about it. But I try to take the positive lesson out of it. At least a chick that hot was into me. Most guys will never experience that! That tells me that I have potential and just need to work on not being so shy.

When you start getting with hot girls regularly, you wont give a fuck about that one hot chick way back in the day that you blew a chance with.

>>18283913
>>18283929
Well I'm pretty sure they started dating around the time that I first asked her out.

She started working there around July I think but they started dating shortly after school started.

>>18283965
So basically if that dude didn't interrupt me, we could be dating now.

>>18283684
Not OP but wanna add mine

>be me longterm gf leaves me
>fail at dating, have a hard time feeling okay again
>friends notice waitress at a cafe we frequent is extra sweet on me compared to them, they tell me she's mirin
>she's super at but I brush it off like it's her job to be nice, friends are just trying to boost my confidence
>there are times I actually think she's into me
>I don't ask her out even though she gives me tons of chances to
>eventually ask her out like months later when I see her out of work
>she says yes
>cancels like 30 min before we're supposed to meet up
>I send a little feeler message a week later
>no response
>I stop showing up at her cafe (friends said not to do this but I felt like literal shit at this point)
>eventually date someone else I really end up liking but she was only in town for the summer
>go to a party with her and cafe girl is there
>I kind of just avoid her and hang out with the girl I was seeing
>things with that girl eventually fall apart after she moves back home
>single again, months pass
>friend still goes to cafe says cafe girl was asking about me
>start thinking about her again, still feel weird about seeing her though
>friend her on FB (might've been weird but I'd been traveling a lot and adding everyone I met and she popped up as a suggestion)
>we talk a bit but she stops replying
>fool me once shame on, shame on you.
>fool me, you can't get fooled again
Now:
>months later again
>I would've forgotten about her except:
>my friend still sees her at her work and school
>she still asks about me
I really don't get what's going on here.

>>18283901
First, grow up and stop trying to date a high school sophomore. Were you just planning on hanging out at the mall or something? You're 21. Date someone fucking age appropriate.

Second, she wasn't available to begin with.

Third, if that much shit is flying over her head, she's either a complete idiot, and not worth crying over, or she was trying to play stuff off because she felt uncomfortable, which means you didn't stand a chance to begin with.

Finally, it's not your fault you're autistic. Don't blame yourself.

>>18283997
On your first point, I'm not really into the whole bar thing if that's what you were implying. Secondly, Junior. And for a 21 year old (22 now) I'm very inexperienced with dating, so really, we were on a level playing field.

>>18283971
Uhh... to be honest.. that's NOT what it sounds like.

Sounds like instead of pussyfooting around you should have ACTUALLY asked her out.

And even them she still mighta turned you down.

Anyway, Stop living and "what if" land and face the facts:

You failed. She's with some one. Your chance is gone. Move on.

>>18283997
>>18284006
Also, on your third point. I dont think she's dumb, just possibly naive. And the "owing me" thing could be as simple as she didn't hear or remember me saying that.

>>18284013
>pussyfooting

How would it have looked if I asked her out without even speaking more than a couple sentences with her? The only way we could have a conversation at work was on a break.

>>18284022
The same way it looked when you invited her for lunch.

Fuck, Look man she probably even had a feeling or straight up knew what you meant when you asked her to lunch in the first place, but just wasn't interested.

Even if she didn't, If she was at all interested at any point she would have made it happen, but she didnt.

She was not interested in you.

Stop playing "what if". Face reality. Move the fuck on.

>>18284022
Bruh. You ask someone out to get to know them. You don't get to know someone to ask them out.

>>18284036
>Look man she probably even had a feeling or straight up knew what you meant when you asked her to lunch in the first place, but just wasn't interested.

Well, when I asked her what she thought I meant she shrugged and didn't seem to actually know. Then she said if I wanted her to sit with me I could have asked.

>She was not interested in you.

Fuck, am I just supposed to assume that girls acting flirtatious and giving me signs means nothing and just live my life thinking no girl would ever actually be interested in me?

>>18283645
in the same boat as you, personally, I just try to distract myself through vidya or the internet

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>>18283645
Same here, OP. I knew this chubby, big tittied weaboo who went to my church quite often in the past and she would sit with me every time. She had a slightly irritating voice and spoke fast like I do but it was too cute to pass up. We exchanged numbers and I tried being funny and spontaneous.

She's never the one to speak first. She doesn't show up on Sunday's anymore.
>feelsbadmanoreganolio.png

>>18284091
>Well, when I asked her what she thought I meant she shrugged and didn't seem to actually know. Then she said if I wanted her to sit with me I could have asked.

You were also a 21 year college kid putting a 16 year old high school kid on the spot.

Think back man, are you telling me back when you were 16 and your head was filled with fluff and the dumbass ongoing of the school halls, that kind shit wouldn't have been just the tiniest bit overwhelming?

Of course she gave you a half assets answer. Fuck dude I bet if I met you in real life, and you saw how much older I was (bout a decade) and I started putting you on the spot asking you real, awkward questions you'd be giving ME half assed answers.


>Fuck, am I just supposed to assume that girls acting flirtatious and giving me signs means nothing and just live my life thinking no girl would ever actually be interested in me?

Broken down for you, you are supposed to:
1.) Act
2.) Pay attention to the response
3.) Respond accordingly.

You halfway did 1, which is at least better than nothing (though you still need to go harder on that)

But you completely missed out on doing 2 (which you learn to do better and better as you get more experience)

And where you are doing the worst is that you are refusing to do 3.

Which in this case is move on. Learn. Try again later with some else. Build yourself up.

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>>18283645
get over it by finding and banging another one...
you really shouldn't have to have this explained to you op

the 3Fs

FIND
FUCK
FORGET

>>18284134
Actually now that you mention it, a 20-21 year old girl was into me when I was 18 and I had no idea how to respond to that, but it could have just been autism. Do you really think I was intimidating her?

>2. Pay attention to the response
What does that mean and how did I fuck that up?

>>18284153
Actually I was 17 iirc. And she was hot as fuck.

>>18284153
>What does that mean and how did I fuck that up?

You keep asking her to lunch.
Her response is she tries to brush it off in her 16 year old way
You ask again
She responds the same way
You ask again
She responds in the same way.

you've come across the same situation MULTIPLE TIMES and yet you fail to actually pay attention to her response, and instead repeat the same thing over and over without even trying to escalate or change the situation to try and see if you get another response.

You are effectively ignoring her response and just hoping it convieniently, magically changes in to the one you want.

>>18284186
I'm not sold on the idea that she took the hint the first two times, but I see what you mean. How should I have changed it up?

>>18284186
>>18284202
Also, the lesson I'm taking from this is: if a girl acts like she likes you, she still probably doesn't.

Fuck. Give me one good reason to not give up on dating.

>>18284202
>I'm not sold on the idea that she took the hint the first two times, but I see what you mean. How should I have changed it up?

If she didn't take the hint the FIRST time, it means you fucked up your approach.

The fact that you kept repeating you first approach--when you ALREADY understood it wasn't working--is where you fucked up even harder.

Fix that.

>Also, the lesson I'm taking from this is: if a girl acts like she likes you, she still probably doesn't

No. It means your crappy at getting out of your own head and reading people outside of your expected narrative (exemplified by the fact that you kept repeating the same thing over and over and not attempting to understand what was going on) and also that for some reason you are expecting a 16 year old girl to be clearly express herself, when you yourself as a 21 year old are not.


Stop whining, start keeping an open mind, start failing, a lot, over and over. Until you actually learn.

>>18284219
Nah.

>>18284229
lol it blows my mind that fags like you are my competition, but I guess it makes sense

it's creepy as shit to tell a girl she owes you her presence by the way

>>18284244
It was obviously tongue-in-cheek, stupid.