Relationship /adv/

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>Can’t help thinking about no.1. 2-3 months later, the tension is too much to handle. We love each other dearly. We have sex. Feeling super fucking bad, feel like a monster for doing this to no.2. Beginning to understand how no.1 felt when he had feelings for me the year before and why he didn’t leave his gf right away.
>few months later, relationship with no.2 really got worse. He’s still really in love, he still would do anything for me to make it work between us, but the drawbacks in our relationship are still there, and worse. But he’s such a good guy I try to make it work. I get on his nerves, he gets on my nerves, despite the fact that I want to save us, it feels like it’s doomed.
>A few months later, no.1 left his gf for good. He’s ready for a relationship with me at last. Turns out he’s also one pretty sweet guy, cute, good in bed, etc. The fact that he’s now emotionally available makes him even more loving, and we are also best friends, so that’s a huge plus.
>no.2 doesn’t live with me anymore because he afforded a flat on his own, but we’re still «together» so to speak, but we barely see and talk to each other, because it’s gotten so bad. Doesn’t want to leave and says I have to do it myself, because he love me too much. Even though there’s a lot of things I didn’t like in him, he was one of the loveliest guy I’ve ever known. I want to leave him for no.1, because the love between us is stronger, but I don’t know how to do it. I can’t do it. I still love him. I don’t to make him suffer, and I hate to put him through this.

Any advice /adv/? It feels like I’m dying inside. Never been confronted to a relationship like that before. It’s too much for me to handle.

>>18281897
i have a big cock, and my girlfriend says it hurts, how do you recommend guys to use theirs?

>>18281926
Lube or spit, take your time, fingers in there to prep her

>>18281895
>he’s got a girlfriend at the time. As time passes, we get even more close, and one year after we met, we declare our feelings for each other.
This should disqualify him for the future, or do you really want to date a cheating faggot like that? You'll get replaced too eventually.

>he’s caring and kind
>I feel like I can’t share things with him
>anger issues, and not good in bed
That's a weird ass combination.

>Gets back with his gf
Ahaha. Oh, man this thread was totally worth it.

>Can’t help thinking about no.1. 2-3 months later, the tension is too much to handle. We love each other dearly. We have sex.
Oh boy.

>it feels like it’s doomed.
It is.

> I want to leave him for no.1,
Yeah, do it. You and 1 sound like faggots who deserve each other. There is no point wasting your time with 2, for either of you. Just, you know, don't expect too much from the relationshit with 1.

>>18281941
I don't see why that classifies him as just a cheating faggot. He didn't even cheat on her at the time, he just fell in love with me over time. That didn't happen in just one drunken night.

>>18281949
>he just fell in love with me over time
And stayed in his relationship? If anything it's worse than banging when drunk, since he 100% knew he was shitting on her feelings. Though I guess as someone who did the same with 2 it's easy to rationalize for you.

>>18281961
Of course it was not right for her at the time. But, try to imagine how it is. You're beginning to accept you love someone else, your own relationship seems like it doesn't fit anymore. But, you still take the time to think it through, to try and understand if it's just a crush or if it's a lot more. I'm not saying you have to forgive it and everything Anon, but it's not easy either. It's not always black and white. You can't just throw everything away, or deny yourself something without taking your time to think about it first.
It seems like it never happened to you, ans that's cool. I wish this situation would never happen to anyone. But you can't just judge it without thinking about how both parts felt.

>>18281974
I sent my reply too fast, but to conclude what I said, it's not always just a matter of cheating faggots and lying whores. It's not always just because of sex, it's not always the right time to leave. I tried to explain the situation the best I could to show that it was not impulsive thoughts and desires that led to this

>>18281974
>But, try to imagine how it is
I was in a similar situation once, had a great gf, totally marriage material and all that, and then met a super cool chick, we got along great and it's ... annoying, because once you got into this basically every choice is wrong and at best you can minimize the hurt for others. Besides, well break ups are a pain too, especially if the other person didn't do anything wrong. Buuuut....

>You're beginning to accept you love someone else, your own relationship seems like it doesn't fit anymore.
From that point on it doesn't really matter whether it's a crush or more. It's not fair towards the other person to use them as stopgap solution while figuring out your shit. Yeah, tons of relationshits are exactly like that but it hardly excuses it. By "thinking about it" you prioritize your own happiness over that your partner which is a dick/cunt move even though it's perfectly human at the same time. Though since you and 1 made that choice ... you're clearly a good fit, beyond all the other positive chemistry too. Perhaps it'll even work out.

> I'm not saying you have to forgive it and everything Anon
Funny thing is that I could easy forgive it, but it doesn't change that it's shitty behavior, especially if you leave your partner in the dark. (And yeah, talking about it is beyond tricky too)

Perhaps I could've choose my words better, since "cheating faggot" (or lying whore) are basically synonyms for horrible rotten people out here, while it's often simply emotional immaturity and/or lack of experience how to deal with shit. Though given how you got your own place, you should be too old for that excuse. Probably.

>>18282038
Thank you for sharing your story Anon.
I wasn't trying to prioritise my happiness, because otherwise, I would have left 2 long ago, but I care for him deeply, and I want to see him happy. I just can't make him happy forever when it's not making me fully happy.
I'm trying to not be a huge bitch with this breakup and this whole situation, that's why I sought advice here. And of course, I know it's immaturity to think I can have it all, have 1, and make 2 happy at the same time. But I'm just trying my best to round up the edges. It's not an excuse, but I think it's the least I can and want to do for him.

I hope you managed to make the best decisions for your relationship though.

>>18281897
you and #1 sound like sacks of shits and you deserve each other, better break up quick than cheat behind partner's back.

>>18282062
Well, from the sound of it the relationship with 2 is pretty much done and seen as that by both parties either way, so there would be hardly anything bitchy about the break up. Now that he isn't in that shitty situation without a place to stay the timing is actually better than breaking up right after cheating, so yay for shades of grey instead of black and white. Dragging it on doesn't do either of you any good and if he's as lovely as you say, he'll probably finds someone who's a better fit for him sooner or later too.
Good luck making it work with 1, anon.

>I hope you managed to make the best decisions for your relationship though.
Heh, I still feel shitty about it from time to time but given the alternatives, I guess it was still the best call.