She's already in a relationship

>>18280548

>How pathetic am I?

Very.

>>18280548
>platonic friendship
Anything but that. You dont feel love. You are just infatuated. It will pass.

Keep your distance and date somebody else.

>>18280578
What do you mean anything but that? If you're right and I'm just infatuated then I shouldn't have any trouble just staying friends with her right?

>>18280602
No. I dont want to see you here few months later making thread about how you died inside when your dream girl break your hearth AGAIN.

For god sake, forget about her and do something else! Save yourself from future pain! Dont wait for others people actions to be happy. Forge your own fate. Simply find new girl and be happy.

>>18280616
Thanks, but don't you think that if there's even the slightest chance that I get my dream girl I should go for it anyway? Isn't taking the risk "forging my own fate" in a way?

>>18280656
It is like asking if betting on green zero in roullete is bad idea. Sure you can get lucky and get super rich in the end. But in most cases you will go bankrupt before you know it.

So your plan with waiting for break up and THEN dating her is like betting on that zero. You will most likely waste time, energy, emotions and in time you will become r9k poster.

Just date other girls.

>>18280687
Yeah you're right, but then if I'm just gonna keep my distance from her, I might as well try and give her an ultimatum before doing so no? What am I risking?

>>18280896
Ultimatum sounds nicer than you literally preying until a girl is single

>>18280906
Yeah I guess so, still not sure how I should go about it though, I guess I should have a serious conversation with her first to make sure my feelings are clear.
I feel like saying out of nowhere that I can't be just her friend anymore would not be fair for her ...

>>18280946
Btw I despise you. You know why. But you were here for adv so..

>>18280961
No I actually have no clue... Enlighten me? Thanks for the advice btw

>>18280980
Youre lurking a taken girl. Youre possibly confusing her feelings. The world is not black and white. All it needs is a bad time in a couple's relationship and then someone trying to mix in. I despise that mixer. Of course people will tell you its the womans fault if she chooses to cheat. Id say partly. Stay the fuck out of other peoples relationships! Selfish fucks. I hope you all get whatever it's you deserve. That is all.

>>18281001
You're right about respecting others' relationships, but imo, bad time or not, if they have a change of heart it says a lot about what their relationship is based on in the first place. Also I'm not talking about having her cheat on him with me. I'm not as interested in fucking her as I am in loving her :) you could also see it another way: instead of confusing her it will strengthen her feelings for her bf and make her more confident about her relationship.

not op but I'm in a similar boat, the woman I feel I am in love with is with another man. We fucked while they were in a relationship together and I'm seeing her again this weekend at a party.

she says she loves me, but idk how true it is, shes never lied to me before and has helped me grow alot as a person in the short time I've known her.

I've thought I was infatuated with her but the feelings never went away. The only time she wasnt on my mind was when I started feeling guilty for going after another mans woman.

what should I do this weekend? do nothing? ask her about us more then I already have? i feel like a shit person for already fucking her twice behind this dudes back, yet it almost feels perfect when im with her, idk what to do

>>18281353
If you want to date her and having her cheat on her bf makes you feel like shit then just make her break up

>>18282663
she's conflicted about it, she's thinking of talking to him and seeing how he feels about an open relationship so she can have both of us in her life, but idk how i feel about that. i want to be with her, but the idea of sharing her with someone else just puts me on the edge of my seat. im already a naturally competitive person so i dont think it would work out.

I don't think i could give her an Ultimatum either because then i feel she would choose him over me, which reaffirms my belief that i could just be a side fling and she doesnt actually love me

>>18281030
>You're right about respecting others' relationships, but imo, bad time or not, if they have a change of heart it says a lot about what their relationship is based on in the first place. Also I'm not talking about having her cheat on him with me. I'm not as interested in fucking her as I am in loving her :) you could also see it another way: instead of confusing her it will strengthen her feelings for her bf and make her more confident about her relationship.
THIS IS UTTER BULLSHIT! I hope you burn and die.

>>18282924
Confront her about it, tell her honestly about your position just like you described it here, I don't see how else you can get what you want

>>18282934
Okay then, what happened to you to make you like that buddy, got cheated on I guess?

>>18283181
>Okay then, what happened to you to make you like that buddy, got cheated on I guess?
I dont care anymore. Do as you like. Just venting... Ive been cheated on at least once. Hardships happen in every relationship. But whatever. I don't really hope you die.

>>18283197
oh alright, thanks for not wishing my death :) I made up my mind anyway, I'm gonna try my best to see her not as much but keep her as a close friend and take upon myself as I don't want to hurt her. Eventually if I can't change my feelings then only I'll walk away

>>18283584
>I'm gonna try my best to see her not as much but keep her as a close friend

You sir, are not bright.

>>18280548
>she mentions how lovely, how captivating, etc
She is doing a good job at keeping you tied tight around her finger, you fucking orbiter.

>keep her as a close friend and take upon myself as I don't want to hurt her
But being around her is hurting you. I would rank you as 10/10 pathetic. No generic contrarian hostility. You are making stupid fucking mistakes, brother.

>>18283625
>>18283690
You guys are too cynical, maybe I'm pathetic but I don't like hurting people, and I think she relies on me, she keeps mentioning how she doesn't want me to leave her.
Even if I might suffer from it right now I am hopeful It'll get better eventually :)

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>>18283752
Welp, I take back all my non-hostility from the previous comment then. No fucking surprise that this board's userbase hasn't changed in three years.

>>18283789
Nah, reading the few replies I got helped me in my reflection, I got to consider other povs which helped me make a decision, what's wrong with that?

>>18283752
>Even if I might suffer from it right now I am hopeful It'll get better eventually :)

It won't. That's not cynicism, that's realism. I've been in your position, I've been seen others in your position. Things are not going to get better unless you change them. You want to keep suffering, go ahead. But be aware, you are making the conscious, informed decision to remain in a shitty situation. That means you get no right to bitch, or complain about it. From this point out, your suffering is on you and no one else.

And what exactly does she rely on you for? Are you paying her rent or something? You really think her entire life is going to just go to shit if you're not there? You're making excuses.

>>18283962
Yea I am aware everything is on me, as I said if I feel like it isn't getting better at all I'll cut short.
But you think there's virtually no chance I can ever see her as a friend? Why is that? Love for a lover, love for a family member, and love for a very close friend are very close from one another aren't they? As I also mentioned I'm not craving her for her physique. She's not bad looking but it's not what I like about her.
I might be mistaken but I feel like I may "convert" my feelings for her you know? Or am I completely wrong about what love is in the first place?
Also yes I said she "relies" on me, ofc she won't die if I just stop seeing her but she trusts me, she can open herself with me and talk about anything. Isn't this essentially the base of a real friendship ?

>>18284003
>I might be mistaken but I feel like I may "convert" my feelings for her you know?

Does this sound like something a friend would do? Of course not. You don't want to be her friend, you want to be close to her.

>she can open herself with me and talk about anything.

So fucking what?

>>18284072
>So fucking what?
If it works one way it works the other way, isn't having a valuable friend a good thing?
>you don't want to be her friend you want to be close to her
Uh what? I can be close to her as a friend can't I?

>>18280548
dude bounce, this chick is literally manipulating you into being her 'side choice' if her boyfriend ever messes up or to use to make him jealous

>>18281353
you're a fucking loser. This women is playing you and if you keep it up eventually you'll be the guy getting cucked. Be a fucking bro and tell her BF but enjoy smashing her one last time as well

Why did you even waste the time to post this? You know she's cheated on her ex, already manipulated you by hiding it. You're playing with fire, and if you cant see you're next, you are a spineless retard and I hope you enjoy a spiraling depression.

>>18284104
dude you're in the most denial I've ever seen. You are getting played period. You may eventually parlay that into a one time sympathy bang when she's bored or seeking to hurt her current bf but she in no way respects you and probably enjoys cucking you along because your a classic beta orbiter. And for the love of god please stop thinking you can be friends with a woman, simply put women and men cannot be platonic friends it's a fucking myth. One or the other always only sticks around with the hope that it will eventually be something more, always there is no just friends. So you're either using someone or getting used, take a guess as to which you are?

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"too attached"
"platonic friendship"
"share my feelings"

first up, immediately start a disinformation "rumour" campaign against the chad who is blocking your objective op...
be subtle and persuasive with it, you know the target your seeking to message so simply tailor your disinfo to suit

consult JTRIG manuals

the 4Ds

DEGRADE
DISRUPT
DENY
DESTROY (optional)

it works and is morally ethical for your government...so that makes it completely acceptable for you to use as well

>>18284187
I'd rather be wrong thinking you can be friends with someone of the gender you're attracted to without hoping for more than be as much of a sad cunt as you are... Thanks for the advice anyway now I know what the worst possible scenario is at least

>>18284213
The fuck?

>>18280548

Two options:

>Distance yourself now and try to forget about her

>Take her for yourself

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Op are you still here? Yo man, from what I can discern from this thread is, you're very open, and able to deal with the harsh quick criticisms of peeps and try to see a message behind it. But think about it man if she has a guy already, sure I don't know what the quality of that relationship just as everyone else on this board will never know, and maybe you as well will not. But it has to feel natural man, don't force things, its good to apply pressure to help things move you along, but bruh if you feel that you're not getting much out of this "relationship" pick up your bags and continue with life.

There will always be a better tomorrow, only if you seek that better tomorrow

>>18285767
Yeah I'm still here, thanks for your input, I'm really conflicted about what to do, everyone suggests I just move on but it does feel natural, it's smooth and really feels good hearted you know? That's why I don't feel like breaking it by either just leaving it or forcing her into making a choice. I'm not sure where this is gonna lead me, if it's indeed possible to make it into a solid friendship or not, but I might as well try at this point. Even if it might hurt, I feel like I shouldn't turn my back on my feelings but try and make the best out of them...

dude ur a fucking cuck, basically her last resort if shit goes sour with her BF

>>18285813
How do you guys always assume the worst regarding women? What convinced you they were all the devil itself?

>>18285933
My God you're naive, I assume you haven't dated many people. Let alone ones who've cheated.

>>18285943
Yeah you assume right, only a handful of girls and never cheated on

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Well let's think about it this op, you should never be scared of addressing your feelings, it's part of this human experience were living, emotions can guide you to the promised land or drive you off a cliff if you allow yourself to be controlled by simply your emotion. Its how were programmed to work off our immediate emotions, that could be good or for bad depending on the situation at hand, but you must halt your emotional side and think.

Well she's currently in a relationship, and apparently has made the conscious to cheat on her man, not once but twice. And it could be for a variety of reasons beit she has that mentality of thinking it's ok to have sex with other people and that'd be fine, but has her feelings truly reserved for her mate, or maybe she likes you on a stronger plane. But bro you gotta think what makes you think she won't do the same to you down the road? Now this is a thought you should consider but not inhibit you from discerning your emotions and taking action. And it's key to be able to be open with people, to open yourself up and be vulnerable requires immense strength in yourself but that's the great thing even if you aren't good at displaying your emotions you can work on it step by step. And get to someplace you were not able to put yourself in before you worked towards change.

And if you think she's truly worth it, to keep as a friend, and if you're capable of accepting the fact that it's just strictly platonic, and realize you'll never be able to reach for her hand and hold her close to you and know that this person is yours and you theirs and have that raw sense of love we all deserve and you can look away from that and accept all the feelings that come with it then nigga do it and just be friends, if it makes you happy do it.

No one can determine your happiness but yourself.

I'm sitting on the toilet at work writing this, and probably will be at every post.

>>18286103
Noooo you're mistaken, me (op) and the dude with a girl who cheats on her bf are two different ppl

>>18280548
>I told her I was getting too attached and suggested that maybe I should get some distance from her so it doesn't aggravate, which she was against.

If she is against you making some distance because you caught feels then she is a horrible person and very selfish.

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>>18286224

Explain, what makes you think that? What sets you apart from the guy she willingly got together with to establish a relationship?

And you, a character from the outside who slipped his dick in that dude's girl, and caught feels

>it's another "OP plays mental gymnastics because he caught feels for a girl who sees him as a backup plan/cuck" episode

>>18286504
What? No I meant 2 different ppl and 2 different girls with 2 different bfs, as in literally 2 different stories

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>>18286670

Fuck is this some inception shit.
I'm outta this bitch.

>>18286661
In what world do you guys live where such a thing is to be expected ?

>>18284104
>isn't having a valuable friend a good thing?
Yes. You don't have a friend though. You have a girl you want to be in a romantic relationship with.

> I can be close to her as a friend can't I?
No, because you don't want to be her friend.

>>18280548
She doesn't give a shit about your feelings, that's why she wants you to stick around. If she actually understood she'd be fine with you distancing yourself for your own well-being.