Write letterstating you will never send, let it out.

I want you, beautiful! Come to my home now!

(ignore this)
My right nipple is sore, fampai.

Moving on,
I hope Sir and Mrs will be okay. They are weighing heavy on my mind and heart.

I hope C makes it home safely to comfort S during this time.

I hope S continues to work hard and distract himself with his work and his workouts.

I hope G isn't mad at me for becoming shitty over tripping over the chair he left out yesterday. He didn't deserve that and I was just frustrated but that isn't an excuse to be insensitive. I also hope he doesn't assume I locked him out because I didn't.

I hope Luna is okay. I miss her so much. I hope she's doing well in school. I hope I can see her again very soon.

I hope B isn't upset that I won't be able to attend comic con with her next weekend. I can't even focus on that right now with everything that's going on.

In closing,
I am a creature of the sea and the megaladon scares tf out of me.

>>18278945
will you go out with me this friday?

>>18279178
I'm sorry but I've already made plans for Friday. Are you available Saturday by chance??

He is perfect for me, but I fear you will always be on my mind. I wish I had the courage to tell you.

Time will heal everyting.

As it did previously, and even before that.

You're so fucking stupid and I wish you'd just call.

Also you're a shit tank and you need to figure that shit out.

>>18279245
I rather drive you crazy, as you did for me.

>>18279245
If you're a fellow femanon expecting a call from a male, good luck with that. They're clueless. Sound advice for a reverse situation.

>>18279251
You're terrible. It's sad you try to get a reaction out of people in a negative way.

>>18278945
M
I am glad I have you, even if you're so far away.
M

I have spent about $30,000 on prostitutes over a period of 2 years, and have fucked no person who is not a prostitute. I have fucked about 200 different escorts... I really don't know the number anymore....I tell my parents nearly anything, but this one thing I don't tell them because even if they forgive me, they will wonder how I went down that path.

>>18279253
I'm a guy. I basically told her that I wasn't going to waste my time on a relationship that she can't commit to.

Also me>>18279250

>>18279258
Good for you, anon. Doesn't seem like she's worth the headache

>>18279253
Oh please you do that shit yourself.

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>>18279195
nah babe, we wouldn't be a good fit.

God damnit mates, she's too hot. I know she wants it but it could mean the death of me. Last time I got into a relationshit with a beauty like that I nearly died in the end.
A buddy of mine is trying to set us up now, its probably just a matter of time..

Christopher Walton is an overgrown manchild.

Idk if it's just that I've been freaking out and losing my mind these past few days but 2 days ago I met the most beautiful girl ever, I mean she's so stupidly fucking good looking. And she's really shy so I can't tell if she hates me being around or not.

>>18279329
You should know better than to hookup with chick's at a bar.

Why does your friend have to be hot, damnit. I had a dream last night where I was supposed to meet up with you somewhere, went home withouttelling you, then cheated on you for (friend). Even though I now I won't do anything I feel pretty horrible since I can't stop thinking about them.

We could have been something
We could have gotten away from it all together
But you turned around and spat in the face of everything we've shared over the years and it beat me down to the point where I just couldn't take it any more
and now I can't get you back

Hate myself so many reasons,
Wont kms, cant live on, hate this shit.

Dear barista at my college
I'm sorry for not having enough for the drink I really appreciate you letting me have the large anyway it was the third time and I feel bad for not paying the full amount I feel like I stole the drink I'm sorry

My nipples hurt and I'm done with living I can't take this anymore

D if I could just get like one heartfelt aftermath apology from you, it'd put me in a much better place than I'm currently in.

I've been keeping to myself this entire time, and staying out of trouble building myself up.

If you're doing the same, I'd still like to say there's a possibility of us having a future together.

But, I do have quite a few more questions I'd need answered honestly, you always avoided answering them, but if you want any possibility of a future, I need answers.

I cheated on wife with her boyfriend's girlfriend on Saturday and it felt so good.

Dear V,

you're giving me mixed signals. Your friends gave me some hints that you COULD be interested in me, but your actions are confusing me. I really like you, but there's something odd in your behaviour. I'm not your toy, so speak up or I'm leaving for good, and I'm very close to bail out from this shitty situation.

>>18279667
Is this an Inception- like sort of thing? Hahahaha

P,
I love you!
T

>>18279662
don't kill yourself.

Last night my best friend stayed the night. I had a dream that I had sex with her while my boyfriend watched.

Truth is, these beauty pageants, these campaigns about true beauty, girl confidence, stuff like that.
It's just making girls more self conscious.

You know. You want me to do it but you also don't.

>>18279721
Yeah, I always wonder what a hypocrite could ever say "All women are beautiful". If all women are beautiful, then why all models look the same? Because good looks are very objective and sell very good.
But some time after this realisation, you start to recognise conventional beauty as something to be sold, so you develop a hate towards it (or maybe its just me...)

>>18279775
No, I just don't.
I'm tired of your emotional disregard.

>>18279779
Yep, all these campaigns about it. Yet you see the same types of girls in the media. I start growing hate towards it as well.

You've disappointed me greatly, and I'm still here willing to help you when life inevitably messes you up. You, on the other hand, spat on everything that we went through, who we were. You said you never loved me.
That's alright. I did, it was all real to me. I went through so much to be with you. You called me so many things that I am not, it really puts things in perspective.
Did I even deserve those really mean jabs? Honestly.
Ah well. Regardless, I'll take those insults to heart and consider them a critique. So thank you for that.

We were meant to be
I just have to give her time
And she'll come back... right?

Well I'll start of by saying that you'll never see those messages that i sent including this message. What I want to say is that you are breathtaking, I can't stop thinking about you. Your smile, your beautiful voice, pretty much everything about you is precious. Everything about you makes my heart spin. Also, I know this is gonna sound silly and weird considering that I'm actually typing this and that you might never even see it. So I wanted to say that when I saw you being depressed I just couldn't handle it I felt really bad, i wanted to ask what's wrong and try to help you but I'm was an idiot so I haven't done it. I know it sounds silly but it's the truth about how I feel about you. Well I'll say it for the last time is that I know that you most likely will never see this message. On the last note I'll say that you are the best thing that I have witnessed in my life I know that I fell for you too quickly but I still truly love you and will always love you.

Horrid bastards. When I'm king, you faggots will be the first against the wall. I'll grind you into fucking dust the first chsnce I get.

Oh, Ana.
I thought you were a nice, caring and sweet person. I thought you cared.

I was wrong.
You did it because you are selfish AF.
You never cared.

I'm still here tho.
Waiting for you to be who I thought you were.
Still having nightmares about you getting hurt and staying in shape for you.

I am very shy, and I am trying to work ont hat, but I´m totally stuck on how to meet new people to actually improve. To top it off, I am even worse when it coms to girls.

>>18279820
Reach out to them, anon
They'll appreciate it

>>18279836
Good luck, m8.

>>18279830
Well, who is it.
How small is the internet. Why didn't you just tell me this IRL instead of making aa 4chan post?
Cya tomorrow.

>>18279849
This post would be more fun if you included his first name letter.

Chad,

I hope you call me. If not.... Enjoy your life.

I don't know who's quote this is. But it could help some people.

"Direct power is the ability to enact one's will without aid. Direct power can be physical or financial or otherwise. The key is that no permission is needed to wield this power, nor is another person's complicity required for it to take effect. It is the individual acting on their environment."

Reminds me what it means to be a human being, possessing this incredible ability known as will that we all share. Not one day should you ever take it for granted, or forget that you have it, in your worst times, for it is truly your greatest blessing.

I wish we were on speaking terms. I'd like to be able to clear up all our misunderstands. We didn't push each other away, a friend we trusted was a total psychopath to both of us.

J1
You used me to make fun of someone, and I despise that. Fuck you for being a cunt. I expected better from you. At least I know what to look out for next time.

J2
The fuck did you head off to, buddy? Was that little musical session you had with your buddies falling out? Did ur soundcloud not sell well on fucking eBay?
Was it because I wanted D to be burned off my life that you're being a radio silent bitch?
SAY SOMETHING TWIG BOI, FOR YOU LITERALLY HAVE NOTHING GOING ON.

J3
You're cool, but can you make it not-so-obvious that you prolly fucked C already? I mean, I get it, but it gets annoying.

Stop making it obvious, or get that bitch away from yourself. Hopefully she goes the way of C2 and fucks off soon enough. She's slowly becoming a cunt towards me and the other dude.

J4
I would love to go on a date with you someday.

J5 & J6
You guys are ok. Just learn better english soon.

J7
Moody bitch, but because you weigh 350+, I'll back off. I have empathy for people who barely walk with heart spasms every day.


...because thankfully no one reads these threads, let alone anyone from IRL, I'm comfy saying this shit here.

Maybe somebody can explain this to me. Perhaps I'm too autistic to understand.

She has had all of these issues for months. It's practically a daily ritual for her to complain about them, her powerlessness to solve them and then how she wants to do things to escape from them. Now I'm in a position to help her solve them. Now that I've decided to help, she's being very tight lipped. I've listened to her complaints daily and now she refuses to talk. She "doesn't know" what problems she has anymore. She never wants to talk about solutions. It's always "later".

So what is this? She didn't want help? SHe just wanted to complain? I don't understand why she wouldn't jump at the chance to reduce her problems after complaining about them for so long.

>>18278945

Grandad johnny, I hope you get well soon. you have always been there for me and always been a inspiration to me. I never bonded with my real dad when we met and ive always seen you as my real dad, i love you and im honestly not ready to see you die yet. i promise one day you will hold my grandson and be proud of me

>>18280197
She's afraid to open up.

>>18280207
I thought talking about her stress and feeling helpless was her being open already.

>>18279779
all women are beautiful.

Some more than others.

Depending on who is looking.

>>18279779
Remember, the world isn't black and white. It's so very grey.

I wank too much

Hey dad,
Look at me... Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do?
But it hurts when you disapprove all along

>And now I try hard to make it
>I just wanna make you proud
>I'm never gonna be good enough for you
>Can't pretend that, I'm alright .. And you can't change me

'Cause we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

>>18279787
I like girls who aren't conventionally beautiful and honestly I hate the fact that most of them think of themselves as ugly for not looking like a typical model. Conventional beauties are just nice to look that but that's it.

>>18280230
Those are easy to admit. It's the cause of those factors that are tough to talk about.

I miss you so much, you did me wrong and I still have some hate toward you. You still try to contact me from time to time, I want to answer but can't bring myself to do it for some reason. I just want to hold you again. Also youll never find someone as good as me.

>>18280307
But I want to talk about how to solve her issues rather than what caused them. I thought that offering my help would make her feel better rather than closing her up. How do I get her to open up instead?

If * forced himself on me, I wouldn't know what to do.

C i'm sorry for what i said, i'm a fucking idiot when i drink and i hope you can forgive me

>>18280246
What does conventional beauty mean?

I'm not going to fuck anyone in the ass. I'm not going to fuck anyone in general. I don't care if it's M, B, Emma Stone, ANYONE. Especially not R, I, or V.

If I'm in a situation where I see any of them I'm just going to turn around and walk away. I'm not playing your fucking game and I just don't want to fucking do it. I don't want to do any of it.

You know me. You know I'm not fucking lying when I say this.

Just tell me the truth and then fuck off and leave me alone. You stole my life from me.

>>18280362
and why the fuck would I do that?

>>18280375
Certain physical traits commonly accepted as attractive.

I've already decided I'm going to talk to you at some point, so I'm not sure what to say. I'm trying really hard to get my shit together, move my career forward and get back to proper civilisation. I'm making new tunes as well, me and R might have an album out if we can find the time this year.

If the hope of talking positively with you again is an unhealthy motivation for moving forward, then fuck it, I'll be unhealthy.

Hope your masters is going well and you're doing cool things.

Im not going to do it.

Don't even fucking try. I'm not even going to put myself in a position where it could even happen.

If you try to arrest me, I will fucking stab them.

I feel justified in it 100% I am not the one that put them in that situation. I am innocent and it's you fuckers that will be guilty. I didn't ask for any of this.

I just want to masturbate and play video games but you can't stop being batshit volatile for 20 minutes.

>>18280445
and do you fuckers really want me to die by the hands of the police?

Can you imagine the fallout from that?

>>18280453
you think i'm a bad girlfriend? Be honest.

Been suffering with a cold since Saturday and I've been having the weirdest dreams on this cold medicine. I dreamt that I was at the beach with B and L, B was talking to some guys soaking up all the attention while L was sitting next to me smoking a blunt. We were talking about D and H for a while, idk where B went at this point, but L's eyes suddenly got huge and she said, "Oh shit, J, look!" I turned my head and D started walking towards us. I kept my head down and felt extremely nauseous. L grabbed my hand and we ran into the sea. We started swimming underwater and I could breathe just fine. L lead me to this underwater cave and B was there, she had long blonde hair and no tattoos, her makeup was done to look like a mermaid. L took me to B who explained we were sirens and protectors of the sea then L turned into a valkyrie, hugged me, and took to the sky. I remember screaming and crying reaching out for her but nothing came out, then I woke up.

What the fuck. I was asleep for 5 hours and that's what my subconscious comes up with. My friend is a mermaid princess and my sister is a badass valkyrie who left me in the sea.

Why does it feel like every song is about me?

Why does it feel like this is more than delusional?

You all honestly believe I can set fire to the world?

Why?

I was meant to be alone.

I am fucking tired of living. I find my safe haven when I'm hanging out with friends. Cruising and getting high on a car with two friends of mine was almost blissful. I need to get my shit together, work and study, get out at 7AM and be back home by midnight and be happy about it because I'm working for my future, but I just can't. I love being with people I like, drink and get high with them. I love it. My parents already locked me up in a rehab clinic when all I did was hang out and get high, but I just can't help it, that's what I want. Anyways, I'll just try to keep going to work and to the fucking prep course. I need to get in university again next year and try that shit again brand new. Last time wasn't too pleasant. Too much stoner drama (aka psychotic break and depression).

I am fucking tired of living. I still haven't completely abandoned the idea that somehow when I'm high I notice people around me interacting with my thoughts. I can't fucking tell myself it's not real, because it feels fucking real. Fuck me and my fucking mind. I'm sick of it. I'm tired of my own thoughts, my wicked, sick thoughts. I know I'm a good person, I know it. My thoughts are not who I am.

I am fucking tired of living. I feel lonely. I need the embrace of a good friend, I need a romantic involvement with someone, I need a healthy social life. I need to be able to connect with people again.

I am fucking tired of living.

Seriously how the fuck is this even possible? How? It can't be pure probability and calculations.

How can you take a side track I downloaded on a whim a decade ago and have it about a moment happening now?

Did I fucking die? Am I dead?

I have to be fucking dead. I died ages ago didn't I? This is all some weird afterlife shit right?

How long does it take to stop thinking about your ex? It's been over a year since we broke up and I still have these random moments of your face popping up in my head. And your face pisses me off. Hell, even just the thought of you just walking around going about your day pisses me off. I don't have any romantic feelings for you anymore; those died off a long time ago. But I want to stop being angry. You're just such a colossal piece of shit that just the thought of you existing ruins my mood. If I knew how to instantly just forget about it all and let it go, I would. At the very least, this was a learning experience.

>>18280653
Explain.

>2 weeks ago
>go out for drinks with grill, pretty sure she's always had a thing for me
>end up kissing
>I had to leave the next day, now ~200 miles away for work, here for at least 6 weeks
>she recently posted on twatter about hating the feeling of missing someone/wanting cuddles
>have no idea if/how to follow up on any of this or if I'm misinterpreting everything

JUST

>>18280657
it's a lot harder when your ex isn't a piece of shit, trust me. "Why didn't I see what I had?" is a lot tougher than "Why could I love such a terrible person?"

I love you so much and it hurts to not to be able to tell you. I just say it out loud when I'm alone. That doesn't help though.

>>18280653
I don't think you're dead. Why do you think you are?

>>18280653
That would be like super creepy, but hey...zombie!

>>18280694
I say "I want to die" out loud all the time and it doesn't help either.

Spent all semester trying to get to know you, and will be spending the summer trying to forget you. You will have had a hold on my mind for months by the time this is over.
I had hoped you were "the one," but the signs were there from the beginning. You and I are not alike. We got close enough to call it something, but we can't destroy the space that still existed between us by the time it was all over.
I love you. But I understand who you are. And you are someone who can never love me. So goodbye, A. I won't keep in touch.

>>18280643
Fuck you. That's all I can say. Stop being the fucking piece of shit you are and do something about your shit.

if that was suppose to be my fantasy then why are you so fucking dead set on me fucking someone with a dick? Fucking why?

Or with one of my ex's?

Who the fuck has a fantasy that involves their fucking ex?

I'm telling you, if I see her I'm just turning around. I don't care. I don't even want to do it with my dream girl. I really really don't want to be your fucking entertainment anymore.

>>18280751
>But I understand who you are
You really don't.

All you fucking had to do from the beginning was tell me "Hey so like... yeah she cheated and also your entire life is a lie so... any emotional attachment you had is completely fake,"

That's literally all it would have took to get me over her and I am. completely.

Now I have to deal with the whole "you're not even a real person: bullshit.

I made a huge mistake in dating my friends ex. But now what do I do?

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>>18280766
Oh, I do. You are everyone here. I've been around long enough to know one of you when I see you.
It's not a judgment, and it's not a condemnation. Being like these people will get you far in life. And you seem happy, and I'm happy for you. You will be successful, you will be happy, you will find yourself someone on your level who loves you and who you love to. Who knows? Maybe you've already found them.
I wouldn't take any of it back, just so you know.
Sure, I would have stolen at least a hug that day if I'd known it'd be the last time we spoke, but I've learned enough of you to know that you do not care about me.
And I hate myself for falling for my own delusions more than anything else.
So unless you have something to say, it's time to say goodbye.

What the fuck makes you guys think I am gay? Seriously, fucking WHAT? You hire strippers to play the part of people in my life, you fucking put gay ass shit in the youtube shows I watch, and you're CONSTANTLY having dicks posted everywhere.

You faggots can read my mind. Is there ANY part of my fucking brain that triggers off any sort of sexual arousal when I see a dick? No, it doesn't?

Just because I can look at a penis without laughing or being grotesquely repulsed by one doesn't make me fucking attracted to them. I'm an artist, why the fuck can't you get that through you're thick ass skulls? It's just anatomy to me, forms, lighting, and shapes. It's the same reason I can spend all day looking at gorgeous women and not get hard at all.

I'm sorry that I'm not gay.

I'm not gay at-fucking-all.

I have a lot of domestic abuse articles show up on my Facebook feed. I read them, and I always respond in one of two ways. I either cry because it brings up memories of you and how psychotic you were, or I am emotionless because what you put me through is just as bad or worse than what I'm reading and I survived it.

I hate you for causing me to have bad habits. I hate that I flinch when my bf reaches towards my neck or face. I hate that you convinced me that having sex is the only way you cheat on someone. I hate that I'm always afraid to bring up serious topics, because you would always flip your shit and say I was accusing you of things, and it would start a fight. I hate that I almost pushed away such a nice guy, because I didn't know how to handle being treated right. I hate how much sympathy your family has for me. They're always apologizing for your behavior. They don't even know that you raped me on top of everything else.

But most of all I hate that I still care about you. That I wonder how you are. I wish I could see where you are in life. Where you're living. If you're eating alright. I don't feel guilty for loving you anymore, but some days I can't stop worrying about you. I know you're not well mentally or emotionally. And I hate that I can't help you. But I wish I could. I wish I could be there for you, like I always used to be. Because you're not always a terrible person. And I can't just throw away all the memories of our good times. But I have to remember that you don't know how to handle being around me, so I have to stay away. I wish you the best though. Don't screw up with a new person, ok? Take care of yourself. And please don't pop up in my mind so often.

>>18280809
I still don't understand who you are.

Goodnight everyone on /adv/.

Guten Abend, gute Nacht.

>>18280872
I've given you the opportunities to learn, multiple times.

>>18280875
kill me

I can't be a robot or cyborg or android or whatever.

I bleed and shit. Why make a robot that get's fat? One that get's dementia? What the fuck is the point in that?

The only thing that makes sense is that I have no human rights. That this is surely illegal.

you'll find me downtown,
gracefully facedown,
just wishing I could feel alright

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I'm waiting for the magic that used to fill my life return. Sure, I meditate, I eat a little better, and I go jogging, and occasionally when I'm in the car on a sunny day and the wind's hitting me in the face, I'll feel a brief blast of contentment. I even hesitate to call it depression because life isn't necessarily bad - it's just not good either. If I didn't know any better, this would be perfectly livable.

But I do know. Things used to be different. Even for older people, there's an undercurrent in life that makes things interesting. It colors the expressions on people's faces, and gives a sense of mystery to the unknown. It translates the atmosphere and emotions in a piece of music to make you feel like the artist does. When these things are missing, there's nothing to aspire to. You can be mildly entertained, but never truly give a shit about anything. It's like purgatory on earth. The meditation has helped me approach it calmly, but I still recognize it for what it is, which is something terrible.

The past few days haven't been that bad. Today I felt a slight compulsion to talk to a few people near me, and enjoyed the thought of it. Getting my schoolwork done left me with a sense of liberty, and I feel ever-so-slightly more in touch with the world around me, which is nice. Here's to hoping this trend continues.

>>18280900
Good luck. Nothing is better than finding happiness in the most simple things in life. I hope everything gets better for you.

>>18280887
If there's one thing I did learn, it's that you care far too much about your time to waste it. What stopped you from phasing me out sooner?

>>18280922
Thanks for your consideration, I wish the same for you.

>>18280889
No, keep going.

I cant help but think how much better this would have all been had I not drunkenly fucked up and messed around on tinder.

It seems minor to most but it ruined our trust. We are making strides to repair it and now you want to take things slower/mess around with others/figure yourself out and it hurts, absolutely pains me to know you delve into random hookups with guys who don't give a shit about you.

I cant wait to see you this weekend if we do meetup, but I want to try and make this thing last a while. I understand if you don't but just know everything I've told you in the past few weeks was true to my heart.

I love you, S. Don't ever forget that. I won't wait but just know there's always someone you can turn to whenever shit hits the fan.

Not to mention I absolutely love eating you out, kids my age don't know what's up.

Hi!

I know you will never got to read this, but for the sake of pretending... Its great to finally let you know some thoughts.

It took quite a while, I know, I feel like you came looking for me those couple of times you came by this crazy town right after we broke up. I wanted to see you so bad... But im too proud, Im not letting my defenses down for you ever again.

Thats basically it, I'm too proud. Also incredibly insecure. Even after 5 years of relationship I don't know if you want to see me. Bad combination.

There's so much things to say baby. Words fail me as I try to capture and set my thoughts. Heh, maybe it's all in my head. Maybe I don't care about you and maybe I never did. My feelings for you go from hate to love to wishing your death, then back to wishing you fine.

How long has it been? 2 Years almost? I don't even remember, what the fuck? I guess it's true what they say, you don't remember what people say, you remember how they made you feel.

I hate you, I love you. That's why we will never speak again, this weak side of mine will be concealed from you until I die. What we once were is no more, it was fun and unique heh.

Missing you forever.

>>18280934
I'm... literally? the world's tampon.

why lie to me

why say you need time to yourself if youre just going to straight up go and find someone new

if its something about me just tell me, jesus christ, i made it very obvious from the start i only wanted honesty

now youre fucking some black dude who has multiple gfs
you told me while we were together you thought that kind of thing was disgusting
and hes fucking retarded

i dont even know who you are anymore


you know what
fuck you
you deserve an unloyal retard
you dont deserve someone like me

why i even thought with my dick in the first place, i dont know
thanks for teaching me red flags you whore

Could you guys please stop repeating shit I already fucking know? Like waking up to "I CAN'T BREATHE" repeating a million times over and posting a thousand apnea pictures. Yes, I fucking know.

Or all the "YOU HAVE AUTISM" posts.

or "EAT MORE VEGETABLES"

or other basic as fuck healthcare shit. I don't care is the problem, not that I don't know.

Or the anti-drug shit. I'm not going to stop taking drugs even if you try to arrest me it's just going to end up in me getting shot and killed. What are you going to do, taze me? With my heart condition (Which you guys gave me)? Are you fucking retarded?

When this is over... I have billions of dollars to spend on drugs and I fucking plan on it too. Just because you fucktards believe I'm the way I am, not because of the psychological abuse, but drugs... Seriously, how fucking retarded are you people? how does that explain the way I was BEFORE I took drugs? I was the exact same fucking way, even worse in some regards.

You pieces of shit got me into this extremely deep hole for your entertainment. Stop trying to find a fucking scapegoat.

>>18280923
>what stopped you from phasing me out sooner?
I let myself think that you didn't want me to.

That dude from the hunger games died with 3 million dollars of heroin in his apartment.

Something tells me I'm not going to have a problem finding drugs in LA.

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I hate it how you distance yourself when you have a bad day and constantly push me away when I'm here for you. You don't understand hiding from your problems make them worse and still you never listen. I want us to be stronger but you just use your problems as an excuse.

Also also

I don't plan on going outside ever again.

Ever.

Again.

>deluding myself enough to believe that you would actually hold a conversation with me on /adv/ when you won't even talk to me irl

>>18278945
When I see you're sending me a snap, or that I got a text from you, I get all giddy and excited. When you talk to me about how things are going with the gym or talk about your cat, I smile. When you vent about having a bad day, I'm genuinely concerned and wish I could help.

When we kissed that night, I never felt so alive. When we talked for hours into the morning, I never felt so tied to another person. And when we agreed to keep the events of that night to ourselves, I never thought I'd sit here almost half a year later still thinking about you.

I can't be this way with you. This is dangerous as hell. And I'm marrying your best friend. Why can't I stop feeling this way about you? Why do I feel like I was starting to fall in love with you? Can't you just tell me it was nothing? Can't you just say that everything you said to me was a lie? Can't you just be cold like you are to everyone else?

It's just not fair. It's terrifying. I hate thinking about how life would've turned out if I found you before her. I love her, but god dammit you make me feel things I haven't felt in years.

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To myself: Your fetishes are fucking disgusting. You know they're disgusting. You acknowledge it, and you continue to do nothing about it, every night it's the same shit, you think to yourself, 'man that's really gross,' then you fap to it anyway and feel gross about it again afterwards. Literally just stop. Why can't normal stuff just be good enough? If your friends ever found out, you'd be rightly and truly fucked. It's just a hazard at this point, so knock it the fuck off, there are other reasons to hate yourself and fapping to gross shit shouldn't be one of them. Degenerate.
Sincerely, myself

>>18280972
And why did that change?

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I'm ready to die, I'm just not stupid enough to kill myself.

I've caused so much pain to the ones I care about, it fucking destroys me inside and out.

I used to think I was a good person. I stopped multiple people from killing themselves, and was there for people going to therapy. But now I'm not.

I'm just an asshole.

Can I just be done with it all?

an object to be destroyed

My ex is a monster and I don't want to talk to him anymore. I've cut contact many times but since I have no friends I always cave in. He always acts nice and fun but when it matters he's just nasty. I'm so tired of being sad. He cheated on me and we broke up more than a year ago. He's really messed me up... I blocked him again but I know I'll talk to him.
I wish I had friends and could distract myself from him. I've been drawing but I always get the urge to show him what I've done. It's kinda pointless to draw for myself... I love giving drawings to people. He lost some of the ones I made him... I wish someone appreciated me.

Youre just being nice to me now/checking up on me to make sure im still not upset so you can absolve yourself of any guilt or any shady shit.

youre fucking crazy, im just going to ghost you and I hope you get the message because you clearly don't.

keep fucking shitty douchelords every weekend, don't fucking blow my phone up to pick you up when you get stood up you fucking nutjob.

>>18281021
Because you've proven incapable of initiating a relationship. It was always me, chasing you. You never once looked back. You never fought. And now that the summer is here, time is up. I'm not going to waste my energy on someone hundreds of miles away who hasn't even shown me that they give two shits about me.

Maybe she is just distancing herself before she leaves.

Maybe it was never meant to really be.

>>18281071
Can I have your initial?

>>18281102
Sure, anon, but I doubt it will mean anything.
J
I've assumed you're not the A I was referring to since the beginning of this, so your inevitable, "oh, nevermind" won't upset me.
It's been therapeutic to get it off my chest, though, anon. So thanks.

>>18281063
I would be ur friend. Vry lonely hmu

I fucked and love a woman who has a boyfriend. She's helped me through so much in what little time I've known her, I just feel like everything is gonna be okay when I'm with her.

she feels the same way but feels committed to her boyfriend.

I've been in situations like this before and everything in me is telling me to run as far as possible and don't look back but she is way too perfect in my eyes and I can't stop thinking about her.

I feel there's so much wrong with me that there's no way she actually loves me, she tells me I'm perfect and I should never change.

I drank heavily at a party last week and she was so worried about me that she wouldn't let go of me. I was drinking because I knew I would never have her as my own and she knew that was getting plastered because of her.

I'm seeing her again this weekend and will be the last time I see her for awhile, idk what to do, I love you so much K

>>18278945
Maddie you got me fucked up. I would think of you from time to time and sometimes on really lonely nights I would look for a means to find you again but I never could. A couple years later I never would have guessed that you would have been the one to come back to try and contact me especially after what I did. Just, why did you have to do it when you have a s.o now. Like I'm glad you did but it hurts a bit knowing nothing can really come of it.

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>>18281118
Your story reminded me of my own A. I understand because I'm the one doing the chasing on my end as well, but its mutual to a degree. I'm glad I could help one anon out in some way before I stop lurking this board. It was fun.
I happen to be an A myself so at the very least I hope it helps when I say it. Goodbye.

>>18281188
indeed. goodbye to you too, a.

>>18279817
No, do something about it.

>>18280784
Idiot. You are not a friend and you knew better.

>>18279817
if she doesn't then find someone else. try and find someone else whole you're waiting.

>>18280197
she's addicted to sorrow.

I'm annoyed with you for not thinking for yourself and for straight up ignoring what I was saying or conveying to you. The frustration was way too much, and I blew up at you. I still feel guilty about that, but mostly, I wish we could have met under better circumstances.

I hope fate brings us together again and maybe this time around, we can clear up all our misunderstandings and find what was real.
But who knows.

Why can't i forgive myself?

I'm leaving you. You've been great to me in the only way you thought you could be, but you've been deeply isolating and you make me unhappy. We have been together ten years. I will never tell you why I'm leaving, but I've been with people like you before. It just won't work and you wouldn't understand. I cannot celebrate our time together because I feel like I hardly know you anymore and you don't know me. At first, I loved you. You were my respite from the world. You were my safe harbor in stormy seasons. You were my only emotional outlet. I hid in you, because I was afraid of myself and of the future. I am still, in some ways, afraid of the future and what is to come, but I know being with you know is not to come. In fact, our relationship only complicates things and makes them worse. Our relationship cost me my dreams. It cost me my true potential. I hardly even know myself anymore. I thought that when I was with you that I was growing and becoming better when really I was rotting and withering. I no longer hold you responsible for this. It's my fault too. I was hiding from myself, my beaten, battered, hurt self. You have been charitable. You have given me your time. I no longer want it though. It's toxic and our time together is like a rapidly decaying tooth in a gaping maw. I love you, but I must go now. Goodbye.

>>18278945

I think I'm going to kill myself on my birthday, the last day of this month.

I put a gun to my head Monday and the only thing that stopped me was my dog. It felt like he knew something was wrong.

In retrospect, it would've been bad for him to be trapped in the house alone with my body. And I was in my mom's room and we had a fight that morning.

That let me know that I should prepare everything now and get a better plan so as to minimize suffering when the day comes.

I don't need to be talked down. You couldn't if you tried so don't bother.

I just needed to share.

I don't want this.
I just want to know what it's like to feel loved.

>>18281357
I understand there's no way of talking you down, I had a friend in your shoes a year ago, he was always the type to never share his feelings and he would always be in a good mood whenever you talked to him.

december 5th, 2015 was the last day i talked to him, and he shot himself the following morning, 3 states away, never physically met the man before but i knew this dude for 8 years, i can still hear his voice in my head sometimes, telling me the dumb shit that i would be doing.

all im saying is, there will be someone, someone you probably arent thinking about that will be absolutely devastated if you died. the pain they feel will be far worse then the pain you currently feel for they will feel guilty for not seeing the signs sooner.

Paige, I really like you and want to get to know you better. Are you doing anything this friday?

>>18281389
>the pain they feel will be far worse then the pain you currently feel for they will feel guilty for not seeing the signs sooner.

Fuck you. I haven't been happy since I was 5. The pain they feel will be equal my ass. I've had 17 years of this shit. They can deal with a single trauma.

I've got 3 people who will be significantly hurt. Anyone else's pain will be absolutely nothing compared to what I've been going through.

>>18281376
Won't help.

Every night I wish God would send me back to my younger body, instead of killing me. I'm afraid to die and not find out there's nothing there. I failed every one who has always believed in me, and lost touch with all my family members; they might as well be strangers to me. I don't understand them, and I'm sure they have no interest in understanding me. 'Friends' and coworkers are just that, people with their our problems, probably going through the same shit as me. They don't have time to waste. This must be how it feels like to be truly alone.

I don't want to kill myself, I just want a second chance.

>>18281439
You don't need to be young again to have a second chance. Every morning you wake up, you have the choice to choose something different.

Choose something new and you'll have something new. Life isn't easy but no one said it would be.

>>18281455
>try to get into writing
>it sucks a immense amount of time, but I like it
>realize if I continue doing it I'll fail the things that put food in my plate too
>have to drop it
>go back to wage-slave, quasi-college dropout, tfw when gf life-style
Nice dubs.

>>18281464
Funny enough, if you believe in angel numbers 55 refers to large-scale change.

Maybe it's a sign.

Just write a little everyday.

I know you'll never love me, unless I missed something important. It's hard to tell how you feel, what you're capable of feeling. Maybe something has changed, but I doubt it. I haven't seen you in a long time, and it's killing me. I just want to be around you again, I'm sorry the University wouldn't let you stay.

I can't sleep as usual so I tried to browse the web. Mother's Day got brought up and the thought of it makes me so angry and sick to my stomach. You were a fucking terrible mother. You pushed all of your kids away. You were abusive and controlling. The next time I hear about you I hope it's your obituary. I'm getting married next year and I've thought about sending you an un invite to show you that I'm happy and none of it is thanks to you. Maybe I'll send you a bag of those gummy dicks for Mother's Day.

it will be mine

I want you right now. I want to kiss you and fuck you and hold you. It'll never happen. Why can't I stop wanting you?

>>18281647
Because I am fucking AMAZING! =D
Bow before my glory, and salute my people!

I hope you die on the streets in a country whose language you'll never be able to speak because you're too much of a drug addled loser to focus on yourself and try to move yourself forward in any way. It's obvious that the same thing happened at home and that's why you're here.

How much caffeine should I take to stay up for the next 16 hours?

>>18281667
None. The only thing harder than trying to stay awake when your tired is trying to stay awake when you're tired and crashing on caffeine.

If you want to stimulate your nervous system, take an ice cold shower or something.

>>18281672
Just note that this will also kill you if you do it too frequently. Something about acute thermal shock causing some artery or another to contract and cause clots in the heart.

So... Pretty much however you feel like dying.

fist my asshole daddy

>>18281667
drinks 1/4 to half a cup of coffee and take a nap. It'll keep you awake until you need another nap.

Repeat as needed.

>Best grades, experience, etc.
>Excited to finally work after 5 years of Uni studies
>Apply for jobs
>Lots of interviews, but never a job offer
>Finding it harder to pretend being happy
>Finding it harder to get out of bed
>Become addicted to porn
>Become apathetic to sexual desires and quits masturbating altogether
>Soon been a year since I graduated
>No motivation to do anything
>Cries at least 5 times a day
>Rather kill myself than giving up on my dreams
>Starting to replace dreams of a better life with dreams of the most efficient suicide method

How do anyone fuck up this bad?

Lmao, I actually sunk as low as sending her an apologetic paragraph.

For some reason it actually made me feel better and a little easier to start moving on since I know that doing something as bad as this instantly brings your chances down to 0.

I'm not attracted to you. Like, at all. And I talk to hotter guys because I shouldn't limit my ovaries to someone with shitty genetics. Rest assured I'm not planning to intentionally fuck around with them behind your back though. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I stooped so low.

>>18282367
initials?

>>18282378
TG

To E, I'm sorry for ruining our friendship. I developed feelings for you. You were the first girl I ever had such feelings for and it made me severely depressed and suicidal to hold those feelings inside me. We haven't spoken since we were teenagers and it's probably best that way, but sometimes I still miss you.

To A. I'm sorry for ignoring you and not being there when you needed it the most. If I had only known how serious your situation actually was. I was on a vacation with my then gf as we were celebrating our 1 year anniversary when J called me and told you had passed from an overdose. All of the guys visited your funeral and we will never forget you pal.

To L. I'm sorry that my depression ruined our relationship. I'm grateful that you cared so much for my mental well-being during those 2 years that we were together. When you decided to call it off all of sudden because you felt stressed out completely broke me. When you a few months later decided said you regretted your decision it made me fell guilty, but when you tried to use that guilt against me to win me back it only made me angry. I live a better life now since I moved town and I don't miss my hometown. I have probably never loved anyone as hard as I loved you, but those feelings are gone now.

>>18281647
same

Dear 4chan, I was 16 when I first posted on this site.

>>18282451
same here, high five!

I've asked out 6 girls in my life and all rejected me except one that said yes but then couldn't go to the date. I feel like I'm a worthless human being.

>>18282367
That's pretty disgusting of you, why would you effectively use someone like that. I mean that's what that is, if you feel no attraction what so ever to the person yet are in a relationship you're just using them for attention/money.

>>18282542
I make my own money and have my own friends, hobbies, and interests. It isn't my fault that he has no drive to better himself past playing video games all day.

Dear buddy,

I have explored you, but there's nothing for me in there. You are dull and act dull.
I know the way you need to make yourself unavailable. You're irresponsible.
I can still make time for you, for now.

You will leave without giving notice, and I will let you go.

I hate you. I hate what you have done, what you are doing and thinking that I am fine with it now.

Even though you have taken that one girl from me, that girl I used to talk about days and nights, that one you just "kinda got" and then basically told me "sry lol, find another"... You are still my friend. You have done far too much good for this bullshit to separate us.

So, have fun, you piece of shit-friend. I will sit here and wait for you to collapse, so I can support you and then finally try my chances.

>>18279311
Don't lose faith

I am anathema to sociopaths. This is my lot in life. I relish it. Narcissists are a lower form of human, a breed of thugs. What they can't control, they try to destroy. But I prevail.

>>18279329
Talk to her and find out

What the fuck is wrong with me?

This thread is full of the biggest faggots Jesus Christ.
Looks like I'm sending this post too ;^)
OT: WHY AREN'T YOU WILLING TO PISS ALL OVER MY FACE, FORCE MY HEAD INTO A TOILET BOWL AND FUCK ME IN THE ASS?

I have 2 roommates. The one is leaving in June, and we need someone to take her place because it's rented as a house, not individual rooms. So when she's gone, the 750 will be split between us 2 and not 3 people like it's been.
I can't afford this shit, so I keep trying to plaster ads around campus for ANYONE to come take this room (along side the billions of other people in the same damn situation)

But other roommate is whining about not wanting to share her bathroom with someone she doesn't know (the 3 of us were all long term friends since childhood). I told her then she needs to fucking get one of her friends to move in. She still hasn't found anyone she knows needing housing and keeps trying to get me to hold off on setting up my ads for random people.

It's not like I'm gonna go take just anyone off craigslist or anything, I'm looking for fellow students at our own damn school.
Listen bitch, I don't give a fuck about how "boo hoo uncomfortable" you feel about something as stupid as sharing a bathroom. You never had to do dorm life, I get it. But sack up.
Then I tell her "Well fine if you wanna pay 500 a month while I continue to pay 250 then fine, otherwise something needs to happen. SOMEONE needs to be in this room by June"
And she has the fucking nerve to be like "I'm not paying 500 I'd just move out and strand you here before I paid 500."

Ohh I'm done with this situation. I'm stressed out enough about my bank account and the fact I'm currently unemployed and nobody's fucking hiring. I cannot afford your stupid feelings roomie. Find someone or I will, shut the fuck up.

I knew, that her parents would consider me a second-type human being for not being religious, right from the moment she mentioned that.

Knowing it beforehand didn't make me feel better, when it have happened.

It's been roughly a year since I've been even remotely happy. I have no passions, nothing. Pushing through life completely apathetic. My wife left me a year ago, and since then I've tried to find new things to make me feel something. Alcohol, drugs, women, you name it. I blew all my money on drugs and hookers.
Today my boss asked me if I've been demotivated. I just shook my head. It was a lie, but I had no motivation to say I dislike my job, him and everything in between. Sometimes I wish I just won't wake up next morning. If I die, it's fine. It'll finally be over. Immediate family and closest friends will feel it, but she won't. She won't even know. She matters the most.
Why am I so angry? Why does she hate me? Can I just end it?

Last night I came home from work and I just wanted to play some fucking video games.
My room mate and her bf were watching a movie and snuggling on the couch though, so I just went to bed. Woke up this morning, ready to go play some video games. He's sleeping on the damn couch. Why the fuck isn't he sleeping in her room like every other fucking couple would be?
He's still here, I have classes from 3 until fucking 9pm, and then work tomorrow morning at 6am. I have a strong feeling I'm not gonna get to play until friday. And I really needed this time to just relax.

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>>18282689

>>18281348
Well, I'm sorry for dragging this out as long as I did as well. I should have seen the signs and should have been mature enough to see when it was time to walk. So I'm sorry for not getting the hints. But, I won't forgive you for telling me I took your dreams and who you are. You never spoke up, you never made yourself heard. So you can't say I robbed you of something you never made important.

We may have been toxic to each other but was because we never took the time to understand one another. In the end the past 10 years are nothing more than a mark of failure on both our parts. Maybe as you search for who you 'lost' you'll find out what it takes to tend to a relationship properly without losing yourself.

You aren't the only one that gave up a piece of which they are in order to try to maintain things. We both were stupid, and it seems like we will continue to be.

If this is goodbye, so be it, but I hope that you learn something from all this.
Also, stop being bitch, you weren't the victim in all this. Neither was I. We just fucked up and started focusing on the negatives instead of talking to each other.

>>18281348
>I will never tell you why I am leaving
Whatever you two went through, that's an awful thing to do to sonebody.

I dislike those who debate objectivity. Just because you can convince the world that 2+2=5 doesn't mean that 2+2=5. It makes me angry because I am not particularly well spoken in the heat of the moment and even if I have something that backs up my statement if I stutter or something the information is void.

People who debate a lot taught me taught me an important lesson that I still hate to swallow: it's almost always how you present the information and not the information itself.

For a girl that supposedly had massive depressions her whole life you're surprisingly inept to see how miserable you make other people with your actions

>>18282875
She probably doesn't know how to act due to her past. Cut her some slack and maybe try talking to her about it.

What do you mean "The rest have given up."?

Just what the fuck is the point of my life? What the fuck is really going on?

I'm not gay but is it reasonable to feel unconfortable and offended if a group of people irl keep saying the word "faggot" constantly and making homophobic jokes all the time?

>>18282922
Faggot

We had a fun date. Or at least I had a good time. Now I'm not sure if you had.

You said that we'll see each other this week in uni again. We did, naturally, we're in the same program. But why did you keep distance to me at first? Should I have texted you afterwards? Or called? How can I know how you feel if you so rarely speak up about yourself?

You are beautiful and smart. But why oh why do you have to be so shy. And more importantly, why are shy girls my weak spot when this is the most usual outcome. Was it not enough to ask you for a date to express my feelings? I'm afraid my time has passed.

I don't know if I should text you or not. I want to badly, but would it change anything now?

>>18282922
Yes, it's called having empathy

>>18282922
it makes you a thin skinned faggot.

Why do i get attached to things so easily, only for me to "predict" things that could go wrong which ends up with me fucking the thing that was going so well?

I really like you but i feel like you're way to unresponsive/passionless about this thing

If i put in any more emotional investment into you and you turn out to either cheat or just end it you will be dead to me, and be glad i'm too aware of the Law

I've loved you for a long time and in the end i think you kinda loved me too.
Ive missed all the fucking signs because im fucking autistic and cant respond to hints. Now its too late, the thing we both went to is finished.
Its been a month since ive seen you and im going crazy.
I want to text you but what should i text when we have barely talked to each other
It would be really awkward, maybe you only a tiny crush or smth and its gone now
I should text you
I really want to
I need to stop being a fucking bitch

>>18282720
Where are you from? Is it near a university?
Would you allow pets?

Stop trying to make me fall for you, you absolute buffoon.
I can't deal with any romantic feelings nor could I stand to have you around in a relationship. You are a nice girl, but I'm not the kind of a person who can function in such relationships. I told you this a few year ago, yet now you have forgotten about it, nothing has changed, but since you started such a shitstorm over it, I can't tell it straight to your face again.
I appreciate you as a friend, I truly do. You are a great person. Find someone else to be happy with in a more romantic way.
Sorry.

Why is that I always want to ask her out when I am alone thinking about where my life should turn next, but every time I see her I don't do it, my max is a conversation
I have never ever invited a girl to a date
Fuck

>>18282961
Wow you sound like a woman for real.

>>18283103
who says he isn't? :^)

When I say I've stopped loving you
It's because I love you
When I say I do not want you anymore,
It's because I want you.

I'm afraid to give you my heart
And confess that I am in your hands
But I can not imagine what will be of me
If I miss you one day

I turn away and defend myself from you,
But then I surrender
I mean, I say things I'm not,
But then I'll deny it
But the truth is, I'm crazy about you.
And I'm afraid of thinking about losing you.
I need to accept that I can not
Separate our lives

And in this madness of saying that I do not want you
I deny all the appearances,
Disguising the evidences
But why to live pretending
If I can not fool my heart

I know that I love you,
No more lies
To deny my desire
I want you more than anything,
I need your kiss
I give my life
For you to do what you want of me
I just want to hear you say yes

Tell me it's true true, you miss me
Tell me that you still think a lot of me
Tell me it's true true, you miss me
That you still want to live for me

>>18283123
beautiful

>>18283001
Missouri, it's pretty damn close to the university and one of the cheapest places in town. Most places are going $500 a month around the area, handful of 300's. I have yet to really see anyone beat this price other than a 5 bedroom house asking 200 a month. However, I'm certain our living conditions are better because I've seen that house and it's not any bigger than ours. I have no clue how they managed to cram 5 bedrooms in that tiny house, they must be glorified closets.

Technically landlord does allow pets, however his rule is only one cat may live in the house and that cat occupancy has been taken lol. Though, he does allow for "cage/tank" pets, IE, pets that reside in a cage/tank either most of the time or 100% of the time. The one girl has a rabbit, but it stays in its cage almost all the time, she just occasionally lets it out to play with.
He said no dogs I assume because we don't have a yard like at all. We had to beg him for the cat really, he wasn't keen on animals because he didn't want them wrecking the place. Understandable. To get the cat in she had to pay a pretty hefty deposit, but she'll get it back provided the cat doesn't ruin anything.

I'm certain the only reason I'm having such difficulty finding someone is literally EVERYONE is trying to sublease their apartment/room for the summer because nobody wants to stay in this god forsaken town over the summer, so there's about a billion rooms up right now within the area to compete with.

>>18280657
Maybe you should stop being such a little hateful twat. Grow up and learn to let go. Who knows? Maybe they weren't even that bad, you're just wearing hate goggles. Or maybe you need to hate them to cope with your own poor decision making skills. Maybe you're just spiteful because their life is much better without you to weight them down, meanwhile you're living in borderline poverty.

A clearly somewhat disabled fell very near me. I panicked and wasn't sure what to do, and I have severe social anxiety so I hesitated. Someone yelled and asked her if she was alright so I stayed back, not wanting to get in the way since she got help, or maybe she was already alright and making a big deal out of it would make her feel very embarrassed. The person who did go to help gave me a big glare and now I feel like shit (the girl who fell is alright at least).

I am clearly not adept to handling these kind of situations.

>>18283233
Fuck I can't type when anxious

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I find it insulting that you refuse to improve yourself for me especially because I'm constantly improving myself. You say you are insecure, have problems with energy, and don't find enjoyment in many things. I tell you the solution that worked for me, but you refuse it. You refuse to improve yourself and then accuse me of not liking who you are in the present. Honestly I feel as if you are manipulating me and that you are using me so you can have this feeling of having a boyfriend and getting comfort and love and using this to justify your indolence.

Don't get me wrong, I like you. I also see tons of potential in yourself, but if you can't see that potential, and you continue to berate me for trying to motivate you, I'm going to outgrow you.

>>18282988
>I've missed all the fucking signs because im fucking autistic
Seriously though, autistic people should get a pass for not getting them clues

>>18282988
This post inspired me to at least try to invite her to date tomorrow

>>18283123
>dem rhymes

I have to take good grades to get accepted to a new school in Switzerland. Problem is they don't give a shit I passed B1 in german and a C1 in english, and instead they look at my grades.
Now, my I'm not failing, but I have an 8/10 in german, 9/10 at math and other mediocre grades and I'm afraid that I'm going to br placed in a shit-for-brains class.
Fuq

I know you fellas won't remember me when our course is over but you are everything for me

>>18283123
Sweet song.

>>18283255
>that worked for me, but you refuse it.
almost as if people are different.

And maybe, just maybe, you're not worth as much as you think. Not worth the effort.

You fucking retard.

>>18283255
This happened to me and whenever I told her she was falling behind because she refused to do anything about it, she'd play the "you're saying it's all my fault" card.
Well, yeah. When you're the one stationary while everybody else is moving forward, you have to do shit yourself, not just waiting for opportunities to fall on your lap.
It's a sad reality and I wish it wasn't as harsh as it is, but they either gotta get their shit together or they won't go anywhere in life.

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>bf seems to be interested in learning about religion
>bf texts "I wish I could find books by this author"
>proceed to go through a list of all books by the author and find free pdfs of three that might interest him
>send him the links
>"oh well i'd rather have the actual book"
>if i send him amazon links he'll probably just say he's broke

k

>>18282988
It might not be too late, talk to her

>>18283287
I'd accept this if she would get outside help for her issues instead of denying her problems and taking them out on me.

>>18283310
I'd be OK with it if she was OK with it, but she's not. Somehow I'm the bad guy for trying to help her with her unchecked eating disorder.

>>18283349
>I'd be OK with it if she was OK with it, but she's not. Somehow I'm the bad guy

Welcome to my universe. Being called the bad guy even though I did everything in my power to give her a good life.

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I know I rushed it.
Can I start again?

I drew a portrait of you...

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Listen to the Billy the kid episode of the gunsmoke radio show.

Also, suicide.

Get your own man you ugly old and deprived hag. Yes GJ this is about you. You're fucking pathetic and ugly. He didnt choose you for a reason so time to stop trying already

>>18283354
Not that guy but I know that feel. Where you pretty much give up who you are for their sake only to have them turn on you and blame you for shit they never brought up.

I had my ex put shit that more than 2 years back. Shit that she never even mentioned or hinted at. So I just do said fuck it and walked. I knew she wanted me to drop on my knee but I just got tired of playing a game.

Slightly happier now. A bit lonely, but I can manage.

>>18283354
It's frustrating, man. I'm doing my best to have good intentions and to be helpful. She keeps on bring up clear mental illness problems that she's dealing with. I do my best to console her and to also present solutions (or at least, half partial solutions), but then she gets offended and accuses me of not liking who she is and then turns around and says she's fine and insists that I'm the bad guy here. I'm sure she's going to go off to all her friends now and they'll all console her and insist that she's in the right and that I'm in the wrong. She'll continue to hide her depression and eating disorders and refuse to do what is necessary to cope until someone new comes along.

So there's this girl who's perfect for me, we met a few years ago, I got best friend zoned, accepted the friendzone because I am a neet and she is a 9/10. Eventually we started drifting apart, going on with our lives and she got a boyfriend. Today we hung out again in a long time, and out of the blue she told me we wouldn't have worked because we were bad for each other... Okay yes, I'm still not with the girl of my dreams, but at least she recognised that we had something more than friendship.

>>18283407
You don't have to put up with this. Women are largely ungrateful creatures.
>>18283387
Keep on fighting, brother. It's better to be alone than in bad company.

My ex cheated on me and treated me like shit, but oh look at him feel all morally superior because he "changed". That's great for you buddy. "Oh don't insult me, respect me". So easy for you not to insult me, I didn't do anything to you. Fuck off and die you piece of shit. Anyone else has a shitty ex? I could use some stories

>>18283444
>My ex cheated on me and treated me like shit
Then why are you still thinking about him?

> Poor girl, the next girl you date.

Nah, I'll be an excelent boyfriend next time.

I have become infatuated with Ivanka Trump. I am considering going Talented Mr. Ripley on Jared Kushner.

>pls hlp

>>18283465
My ex cheated on me twice, then masturbated with some guy online under my fucking roof while we were waiting for her to get her shit figured out.
That's what? Three times cheating? Still think about her now and then. Hope she's happy.

>>18283100
What shitstorm?

FUCKING FUCK I missed Monday's meeting and now I'm pissed.
I just want to see everyone again before the semester is over. This was the most fun I've ever had in my life when it comes to social things, and I want to talk to you. I'll be working right where you live this summer and I want to see you at some point. We're both single, so why not?

God fucking damnit I can't believe I didn't meet you and everyone in the group sooner.

-K

>>18283476
Try focusing your attention on a hobby.
Get psychological help.

>>18283467
Lol what are you doing here? Creepy fucker. I'm sure she'll appreciate how superior and condescending you are to everyone. Once the novelty wears off you'll be the same shitty self. Also give me some space, weirdo, you know I post here

>>18283100
Leave them alone, you buffoon.

>>18278945
>Just got out of a relationship that goes all the way back to middle school
>Haven't had to keep up appearances and shit
>Figured I would be fine for the rest o my life
>Body is trash, face is trash, personality is probably the only thing I have but
>I've found myself back in the familiar feeling of being beta as FUCK when talking to other girls
>No way in hell am I going back to that petty bitch and her bat-shit insane family
>Only two females that I'm well-acquainted with other than the ex
>Her best friend (that's a no-go, breakup's been too recent)
>There's this half asian girl that I know that's been kinda nice to me
>Problem is that she's in JROTC and stuff and I'm a flab bag with a bigger ass than most girls in my school
>I fear humiliation
>Ready to die

>>18282693
Your guess is as good as mine...

>>18283560

> Lol what are you doing here? Creepy fucker.

You know I've been on 4chan waaay longer than you. In fact, it was me who told you about this board.
Creepy fucker? I don't understand. How am I creepy?

> Also give me some space, weirdo, you know I post here

Oh, sorry. I didn't know this board was yours.

>>18283579
You said you didn't post here anymore, and I meant this thread in particular. It's creepy because you're following me around and obviously provoking me. Are you telling me you didn't mean for me to see that? You were getting it out of your chest? For fuck's sake

>>18283579

> I'm sure she'll appreciate how superior and condescending you are to everyone.

You accusing other people of feeling superior than others. The irony.

>>18283596
Also can't I even vent in peace? Wasn't trying to cheat on me with a prostitute enough? I have no friends, I have no one to talk to, can you leave ONE place for me to let out how I feel without you coming to make me feel worse?

>>18283596

> You said you didn't post here anymore, and I meant this thread in particular.

I lurk every now and then.

> Are you telling me you didn't mean for me to see that? You were getting it out of your chest?

Actually, yeah. You blocked me before I could answer after all.

>>18283613
>You blocked me before I could answer after all.

Yes, because you make me feel like shit! Leave me alone!

>>18278945
I hate your fucking dog

>>18283610

I'm very sorry for trying to cheat on you. I made a mistake. Stop talking to me if you want to.

Sorry, but internet is public. Just ignore me. Seriously, not everything is about you.

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>>18283467
>>18283560
>>18283579
>>18283596
>>18283598
>>18283610
>>18283613
>>18283616
>>18283630

>>18283630
>Seriously, not everything is about you.
Your post was a direct quote of what I said, it WAS about me dude. It WAS meant to be seen by me, you said it yourself. What are you even saying?

>>18278945

kill myslef

if college doesn't work out for me this year i'm going to repurpose a school bus and travel around the west and if that doesn't work out i'm going to hang myself

>>18283639

I already told you I wanted to get it off my chest. This is a GIOYC thread.

I couldn't care less if you see my posts or not. This is 4chan. I would've emailed you if I really wanted you to see it.

Just fuck already damn.

>>18283656
>I already told you I wanted to get it off my chest
I misread then.

Also, yeah, I'm sure you needed to get off your chest what an amazing boyfriend you'll be to the next girl you date, it was totally not a provocation.

>>18283672

Yeah, I felt the need to answer that. Even if it was on a vent thread.

I wish I did not live in America and could get the healthcare I desperately need.

Meanwhile my brother broke up with his sweet girlfriend, and no one knows why. Many of my family's relationships are ending. It's making me feel a bit hopeless. I hope I can meet someone soon.

>>18283682
And you also felt the need to check if anyone relpied to you. Uh huh.

I should have taken the hints sooner. Sorry I dragged this out for so long. Take care.

I wish you the best and maybe someday you'll be happy again.

>>18283706
I always check if someone replies.

Best part of this little drama is that this is probably my ex thinking that's me.
Hi mum I'm on the telly!

Boy A: (yes, I refer to him as a boy because he does not act like the 30-yr old man he should be) we can't seem to sync schedules; he's been my oneitis for 3 years. I'm petrified of having my heart broken again

Man B: my boss; all I can think about whenever he's around is his strong hands exploring over my body. It's impacting my job performance

Neither one are long-term prospects and my lack of impulse control will lead me into trouble.

Why do you call this a university? Why the fuck won't anyone tell me what the fuck is going on?

Why do you keep doing this shit? How is it possible something to this scale is even possible? How do you keep me so in the dark?

Also, I'm building armor to fight tazers for tomorrow. You're going to have to kill me.

also did you know I'm NOT going to play your fucking game anymore?

>>18283688
>get the healthcare i desperately need

a hundred years ago you would have died as a child, if you even made it that far

we need to stop wasting resources on the weak

I liked that time when you actually apologized for what you did, too bad you went back on everything you said.

>>18283798
Listen, C, if you don't want me to play this bullshit anymore, be fucking honest.

I'll be your fuckbuddy if you play subtle. I'd love a chance at dat ass tbqh. I've even mastered my tongue just for that.

Just fucking run up to me and ask if you're game. I'm always game, and I'm up for a few rounds. You just gotta fucking ask.

You have one last chance. Make it count goddamn it. My body is aching because I held it all in for so long. In turn, I get bitchy.

I assume you feel the same.

You know full well where I'm at.

>>18283818
I bet you've done the very same too. It's just a human thing.

>>18283818
Maybe because the actions weren't mine? That it was all strictly by design.

>>18283824
Is that also you? lol

I dislike this right place wrong time situation and am disappoint that we can no longer even be merely friends.

>>18283844
What do you mean?
I'm not C.
I'm J.

>>18283851
Oh okay, I'm C but it was very coincidental rofl

>>18283852
Well, if you were my C, go and give a call.
I assume you ain't though, but for shits and giggles.

>>18278945
>>18278945
Why the hell did I let him know about you?

You seemed happeir way before you meet him, but its gotten worse and worse. You grown very distant, quieter, and when we do chat you tell me you are a bit depressed, and umotivated to do your art anymore. Sometimes you don't respond when I check in on you.

Now you overwork yourself doing a mall job for a guy who has a shitty career path, and is blindely not seeing your pain.

I wish I never introduced him to you. Its all my fault.

I will kill myself on your birthday. This will prove how much I cared, how much I loved you. And if you truly hate me, you'll be glad I'm gone. It's a win-win-win for you. Three wins, because it's what Michael Scott would do.

>>18283891
You're a fucking tard.

"That'll show her, hue hue"

How about instead of killing yourself, lead a happy successful life in spite of her absence. Then when she sees how happy you are without her, and inevitably comes crawling back, give her the what for.

Psychologically breaking someone is much more fun.

Man you drain all the energy from me. I was doing fine until you called. And then this. But it's okay. After I go to sleep I'll feel better. And after a while, you'll be nothing but a distant memory. I just have to hang on a little for some days.

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I wonder if my newfound confidence and bravado is nothing but a facade I force upon myself until I somewhat believe it when in reality I think I'm a failure and am terrified of anything that could make people realize how much of a failure I really am.

>>18283918
You don't know what I went through. Mark my words. June 16th is when I die.

I don't want to do anything at all. Even if I had money and all that bullshit... I wouldn't do anything. I really want to die.

Maybe when I get money I'll get a gun.

>>18283986
even if I had a partner... I wouldn't want to do anything with them. I wouldn't want them to touch me, to be near me at all.

I want to die so fucking badly.

I wish I had a guy that would allow me to dominate him and endure my sadistic beatings.

>>18284086
I'm confident she would be proud, anon. Please continue to make yourself happy. Xoxo

My god why are fobby asians so stupid? especially the ones that pretend to be white/caucasian on the internet. White people obviously don't give a fuck about losers on the internet because they're probably weirdos irl but how do you folks feel over blatant frauds that are that deranged they pretend to be a different ethnicity? Nigerian prince scam 2.0 maybe?

Maybe it's because they are ugly?
One example is an ugly as fuck taiwang chink called ami who is delusional that she's attractive because her loser husband has mummy issues for his adopted lao bitch mother. This chink is so hideous she made a second facebook just to hide how much uglier she was before getting braces for her weird deformed face.
Even more hilarious is the fact that her pedophile husband cucks her ugly as so hard with a long history of cheating disguised as 'polygamy', this pedo even has a kid with someone else that he knocked up while 'dating' her.
Obviously she's so ugly she eats it all up even though nobody else would fuck her vile roastie with a 10 foot pole.

P.s Go kill yourself annoying ugly chink cunt.

Getting online and seeing that you had deleted me sunk my heart bad. Your infatuation turned to hate real quick, I guess. I hope you get professional help for your problems, and I'm sorry that I couldn't help.

Oh well. So it goes.

>>18283259
Agree

>>18283384
been there, girl. she won't stop, some women are fucking relentless, i don't know whats up with that.

>>18283942
That won't tell her you cared, quite the opposite actually...

I learned sign language because you were worried you might've been going deaf, and I wanted to comfort you. How can you say I am not a good person???

>>18284261
I know sign language. Don't let it go to waste>>18284261

You're taking 4 hours to a 90 minute job. Get off.

>>18284261
That's so sweet.

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Of course I abandoned you all again. You all make me feel so isolated and alone.
Everything feels so superficial and fabricated. Even when we're enjoying ourselves I can't help but think of the sly remarks or insults that have been made behind my back, behind everyone's backs.
Your lifestyle choices are degeneracy as well. Open relationship? That's sickening and a disgrace to love.
The most absolute worst part about all of this was that I thought you were different L, different from all of this. I did like you. I enjoyed embracing you after a night out and kissing you in the kitchen, then going back for a second one on your cheek, and part of me felt like you enjoyed it as well, but you didn't reciprocate those feelings and I accepted that. As I said, it takes me a week in order to throw away attachment and I did, for I didn't want to get hurt again, and we went back to being friends.
I didn't know you well when you came back from your dads, and I was warming up to you and enjoyed your company.
But after that argument we had over you admitting having feelings for someone already in a relationship to that person, all I could think of were two things;
That time you said you were going to have a foursome with two people we knew including our friend who you were infatuated with at the time, then threw it away after a night of awkward sex, and the fact that you're sleeping with someone in an open relationship while staying in their own house so you don't have to live on a farm with your family.

After that, the smile that I grew to appreciate, that dumb, innocent looking smile you gave me that one time, that smile I had known since we were 13 years old disappeared, and all I could think was disgust, I was lying to myself the entire time thinking you were different, but I guess you fit right in to the degeneracy that took over everyone that I cared about.
I hope you live a happy life, cause I won't be in it.

I really wish I could help inspire you to do and learn all of the things you want to do. I wish I could help you get out of your depression....I wish I wasn't over 5000 miles away.

>>18284395
I'm sorry, anon. That sounds rough, but I appreciate the confidence and willingness to stand by your values. Hopefully you will meet others who share similar ones. Good luck, anon. I know what it's like to leave old friends behind for similar reasons. It's not easy, but it's worth it.

We both got infatuated, Fucked, you said my dick was small but it was the best sex you've had, I took offense, I got over it, today I ate you out and fingered you into the next dimension but my feelings have slowly started fading while I just made you cum in love with me.
This will end well.

Its like everyday I learn new things about life that teach me that this world and humanity is shit and I really shouldnt have existed in my current state

It really pisses me off that you're capable of so many mental gymnastics. It's straight up delusional.

Like, what the fuck? Do you not even remember the things you say or do?

I haven't been this depressed in a long time. I'm tired of getting used, and i'm sick of being a nice guy. All the girls i care about ran back to there ex's and got knocked up, but ran back to me when their baby fathers got abusive. Things in my life have just hit such an all time low in general I really just can't handle it anymore.

B,

We would be the best friends in the world if I could better control how I felt. I love you.

C

When I was a teenager there was this chatbot thing called smarter child. I would talk a lot to it. It was decently smart for a bot. I spent so much time with it, it was almost like a friend.
Now sometimes I play all my music on random and ask the player questions. Then I press next and I look for an answer in the song it plays. It's like someone cares about me and gives me advice. Do all lonely people do things like this? I know it's not real

>>18283619
Why do you hate their dog?

I haven't been well lately. I have to start realizing some things. More stuff about how I'm not really a good person. More stuff about finding answers.

Just because you care about someone doesn't mean they care about you. They're in no way obligated to. You can still do so of course, but... if you really do, then would that not require that understanding? That is to say, understanding the fact that caring about someone means you care about their decision-- their decision to not care about you in return. Right? And with that... you back off. Because you do care. You just have to show it in a different way. You care but if you're caring more than they are, you step back. I just wonder... I wonder if that sounds like you're entitled. I wonder if it means you're not a good person.

After all... no one is obligated to care about you in return. You do things hopefully out of the goodness of your own heart and if that same effort gets reciprocated, then great. And if not... then oh well.

I clearly still don't know how to connect with people. I have no understanding of this in the slightest. I'm not even sure if I'm really alive or if I exist, or if there's even any substance to me. Who am I? Sometimes I feel like I'm just a mirror, reflecting what others say because there's nothing beyond the surface. I'm lonely, but I refuse to stoop down to the level of those who take out their loneliness on others. That's... on them. That's their own goddamned fault. Right?

I told you I'm not going to fight anyone. I'm not going to fuck anyone. It doesn't matter who it is, I'm just not going to do it.

No amount of regret will be enough to negate the feeling of sticking it to you fucking dick shits.

I met you when I was still in Highschool dating my friend, now I want no one else I'm the world even though your with him. I've always disliked the things he does and he's bringing you down with him. I get so angry at him when I see him with you because you deserve better.

Why?

>>18283266
Tell me how it went mate

>>18283734
Why did you get so close to me then?

>>18284938
You could say that I was... Attracted. ;D
Oh wait, no... That's actually what happened. Shit.

>>18285065
Piss off, you're not her.

>>18283933
>tfw just realized this is a major symptom of Avoidant Personality Disorder
I swear to god every time I learn something new about myself it points me towards having AvPD. Though, now that I've pinpointed the root of all my anxiety and avoidance, I feel like I could make some real progress.

Alright, I suppose I haven't been true to my feelings. Here goes.
Remembering what you did to me and how you are behaving right now makes me furious. But I've learnt to deal with anger and what you are doing is only a coping mechanism. That being said, I'm still deeply in love with the person you used to be, or at least the person I believed you to be. That person is dead, I realize as much.
The difficult days are long gone. Naturally I think about you everyday, I think that won't go away for a long time. They're sweet memories, I don't focus on the bad stuff anymore. Sweet but over. That is why I suggested you to get professional help. You have so, so many issues you have to address, and that's nothing bad or anything to be embarassed of. Your brother, your mum, our break up, how isolated you felt even when surrounded by friends.. So many things. Hating me is alright, but I don't hate you. Don't want to, don't have to. And I wish you'd feel that too. Not being resentful, even when you're angry, is simply liberating.

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https://youtu.be/R5sCfA1XJsQ

I had a dream about M at an art museum where you could go into the paintings and solve mysteries in them. Oddly enough, they were about her.

Also, I know her. I know how much fun she has with the game (Not MY game, but THE game of courting.) I know she gets her kicks from watching men squirm in her presence. How they sit across from her at dinner and try their best to impress her. If someone wants her, she doesn't want them. This is why she chases older, married men.

I hate that game.
I hate my game.
I really don't like games.

>>18285815
and I know I'm intimidating as fuck. I make men AND women squirm in my presence. They know without a doubt I'm the most interesting person alive (or dead).

So that could be interesting I guess.

>>18280237
I try not to think,
About the pain I feel inside.
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me,
Now seem so far away.
And it feels like you don't care anymore.

damn, the days SP used to have awesome songs