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Aight, so. Broke up with bf of 2 years after he got wasted and cheated. We had some healthy back and forth, and then some not so healthy back and forth, then nothing, then bumped into each other and had a good talk, which led to me sending off something that said I still appreciated him but was disgusted and expected better of him. He responded and said he was insulted but understood, and that we obviously couldn't be friends because we can't seem to face each other. It's been about four months since the split, and a few weeks since we called it quits on being friends. I just feel stuck on him. I feel like he's made a huge mistake. He was very in love with me at one point and a side of me believes he lashed out because of my depression and failure to cope with during the relationship. I think if we grew a little we could be amazing together. I've rekindled old broke relationships before, but I don't rely on it as an option. I'm just wondering what I can do from here to help move on. I have a tendency to obsessively fix things, when I break up I don't want to be hated. I want everything to okay and to still be okay with that person, but for myself as well. It's easy enough to say I wish I didn't feel this way, but I truly don't. I find my mind wandering back to us, to so desperately trying to figure out a way to 'fix' what's unfixable. I think we had something real and special and we squandering it due to outside forces as well as our own inexperience and lack of self respect. I have mental health problems I'm trying to overcome before I even consider relationships and I just feel like a royal fuck up. He was a very sensitive guy and I tore him up until he tore me up but I still can't help but hope we have a future, and I can't tell if I'm being a fucking moron or not.
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I guess my question for adv is, are there ways to aid the pain of shitty breakups? Is it normal to feel like this or obsessive? Is there even a way not to feel like shit when you realize you loved someone
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>>18277296
>>18277749
Totally normal. Just takes time. Especially for females because they go in relationships 100 percent.
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>>18277782
Nigga wut
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Take your lumps and move on, it's nearly impossible to rekindle relationships. If life circumstances allow it to happen so be it but you should take the road with less regrets I.E. moving on
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It's all about not sweating the little stuff. Some Relationships are just toxic, but may appear better on the surface from certain perspectives.
Truth is, let yourself go into aspects of your life you find more interesting, and stop letting a past relationship be the center of your universe when clearly it isn't.
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>>18277296
"cheated, healthy back and forth" -> well played (to your bf since he got more sex)
"Bumped into each other", yeah it was predictable.
"He was insulted" -> Manipulation, men and women do this
"I have mental health problems" -> all human beings have problems ffs and women have a few more but in the US they scam you and take you to a shrink and medication....cry for one or two days, it could take 5 that´s it. Before doing that download a lot of videos or songs because you may not like some of them... cry, endure the pain and get stronger
>He was a very sensitive guy and I tore him up
Were you lying? you said that he cheated you
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>>18277905
>>18277909
Thanks anons, I'm just having a really hard time getting my shit together.
>>18278230
Fuckign wat
He didn't get more sex, didn't sleep with her
Depression runs in the family, my mom and dad suffered
I was shitty to him during parts of our relationship and he later cheated on me
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Yeah one of my exes was a heavy drinker, and I'm pretty sure that a similar situation would have developed, despite the fact that she does not condone cheating. If you're blackout drunk, what you condone doesn't exactly matter or factor in.
Try to class up or something, and date a mature guy who can control himself.
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