pls help me. why cant I ever be happy? >Unhappy in relationship,

>>18276871

Learn to be happy with yourself first. If your happiness is contingent upon others, you're pretty much dooming yourself to a lifetime of unsatisfying relationships.

>>18276871
Happiness comes from what is known as the power process. Which is the process by which you expend energy and resources in order to fulfill your own needs. (Or the needs of a small group with which you associate).

Set more challenging goals for yourself and your intimate partner.

>>18276878
how do i do this? :~(

It could be ''I-had-too-much-frivolous-sex-in-my-adolescent-years'' syndrome.

>>18276871
>no matter what decision I make, no matter how sure I am, as soon as I go through with it, my brain just turns on me.
Very powerful insight. This is how human brain works.

It is said that people in the western world could actually be happier if heat and electricity and water worked only 90% of the time because brain becomes blind to the fact how great seeing and not freezing are when we have them 100% of the time. But it also makes sense that the brain works like that: Like what's the point to waste concentration on things which work perfectly?

In the same way you can become blind to the great things you do have and conclude that things need to change. What you have realized now is that changing things won't make you happy but changing yourself will.

So stop trying to control everything and enjoy the life that just comes to you.