Love, Sweat and Tears

Cont'd

About 3 months of perfectly platonic roommating took place until suddenly C and V began to display signs of dissatisfaction with their relationship, V dumps C in front of me in my place and reveals to us both that she had been harboring intense feelings for me and couldn't take it anymore. As any good friend would do, I suggested C take a hike. Commence a 2 year nonstop day and night sexfest, dope-party. A gotta of fun was had, we had fights, some of which reached physical proportions the most severe of which ended with me bleeding or on the floor. No hard feelings. I began to realize how much I really did love this girl and how much she really did love me. It was great. I am a gardener and I've been such for something like 10 years, so long work days and long night of sex and drugs left me exhausted and distant despite the heavy drug use or maybe as a result. I am still dealing with the shame of not properly paying enough attention to her, but cut to Christmas 2016, V is obviously pregnant.... I had been grappling with the sense that she was and tried hinting at it to lead her to the conclusion naturally, but to no avail. The girl was in denial, up until maybe a month before delivery. So prenatal care was null. And, she had used drugs a lot during the pregnancy, but only if I couldn't help it. The moment I had suspected she was pregnant I began a long and arduous expedition of hiding drugs and creating hysteria when I found she had discovered them or turned my pockets inside out while I was sleeping. It was obvious this was only going to get better if I didn't have any. So I did my damnedest to quit, I couldn't but I got V clean, against her strongest pleas, in time for the delivery, God willing. My son was born March 6 this year perfectly healthy and beautiful.

Cont'd

Okay side b:
Before V and I had started dating there was an incident with her sister who lived hundreds of miles away in which she heard from someone about her then-current living arrangements and began the aggressive character assassination of both myself and C on social media. C avoided the brunt of it, by feigning compliance with her demands that she be sent back to her dads place and left alone for good. It wasn't long after that C and V split. I of course told her overbearing prissy bitch of a sister to fuck off and die because well V was mine now. V had never liked her sisters attitude and the way she always treated her was at best less than human. Once the pregnancy was clearly a fact and Victoria decided she would inform her family, both her father and sister advocated and insisted she have it "taken care of". I was sickened. By the way Vs mother took her own life when V was only 2 years old. About a month before my son was born, Vs dad dies due to what im told was an unfortunate dosage of diabetic medication combined with alcohol, obit read he had simply passed in his sleep. The ole man and I only ever interacted once briefly. V was sad, but overall taking the whole thing very well. The day after learning of it all, suddenly V has a godmother coming to collect her to meet her sister at the bus station so they can assess dads estate. I'm put on high alert. The following weeks are stressful and indicative of the control freaks that are her entire famoly, with a couple of exceptions.

Cont'd

My son is born. We bring him home and care for him as any loving parents would. My drug use continues minimally and discreetly, only for work related purposes. V remains clean, until she raids my pockets a couple weeks after the delivery. I'm now informed Vs dad had two $100,000 life insurance policies for both of his daughters, V is collected by her sister to go talk about that with her Dads good friend with whom the money was left to. Apparently there were specific conditions to them both actually receiving the money and specific uses for it; primarily houses. On April 7 V and my son are both collected for an appointment with WIC from which they never return. In contacted by Vs godsister and told my son is "sick" and V and he would be staying with her for the weekend. At the time, I am in hysterics and completely powerless to the calamity I forsee. I'm denied all contact with V and my son bar brief phone calls between V and I until April 14 when her sister ceases all contact and a restraining order is opened without warrant against me. The judge denies the order and I file a response the following monday. The few times I speak with V have been filled with nothing but love. Despite that I'm consistently told she no longer loves me and still all contact is withheld, I continue trying everyday nonetheless until April 22 when after calling Vs number she answers and still only loving words, but she insists that she and the call quickly because she is having a yard sale.

Cont'd

I leave work on a gut instinct, I go to the place she is staying and lo and behold a yard sale with no sign of her sister. I bring her roses and a bracelet I bought from the farmers market. Nothing but kisses and hugs and googly eyes and briefly I raise the question about the hearing and the potential outcomes. She reveals her obvious limited knowledge of everything that is happening. I don't press the issue further so as not to worry her or cause conflict. We part with love in our eyes and hope for the future in our hearts... I text her after that meet up, but at some point I've been lead to believe that her sister took the phone and has been texting in her stead. April 26 I am drug free, I wake at 4:30 am prepare for work, start work @6:30am, clock off at 5pm, hop on my bike after collecting a slew of dresses and things I bought for V, strap em to my bike and ride 7+ miles to her location I leave the clothes at the door and ring the doorbell immediately I am accosted with shouts of angry demands that I leave and the cops are coming and what have you. I say I'm sorry and I leave. I ride 3 or 4 miles before I have to call a family member for a ride due to exhaustion.

Cont'd

During my work day on that day apparently Vs godfather arrived at my residence to serve me, butmy dad is outside taking photos of his begun to sell on Craigslist he approaches and asks if he can help the godfather immediately speeds away after seeing the "gun". The following day I awake to a plethora of text messages and calls, I speak to someone who tells me the sheriffs will be there to serve me the papers I've already responded to. I'm told to not try and avoid service or the court day would be rescheduled I insist that I never did such a thing I was at work. But alas the sense that things have reached an exacerbated point is overwhelming. I'm told again that V no longer loves me and that she wants nothing to do with me, through text no less. I beg for a real communication but I'm denied. Its been 24 days since I've seen my son and the hearing is May 3. I suppose I not so much as require advice as I request reactions and/or expressions of what you would do in my situation.

Final post...
I've partly come to terms with the idea that maybe V really doesn't love me any longer and providing that is true and she means to not cooperate in a joint custody arrangement I intend to sorrowfully forfeit my parenting rights so as to create a more peaceful and happy life for both her and my son. Otherwise I'm not sure what my course of action will be or theirs for that matter. All I know is that having a child taken from you is painful far beyond what I thought could be felt. I lost my mother at 13 in a car accident and being told the woman I created life with no longer loves me on top of the refusals to allow me visitation with my son makes the loss of my mother seem as emotional as an episode of Jackass. I've not gone a single 24 hour period without, at some point, taking leave of whatever is going on to enter the bathroom, assume a fetal position on the floor and commence sobbing. I'm a big guy 6'7", 200lbs, I'm a nice guy too, but not one who had ever cried in a fetal position on the bathroom floor. I cared for my son in the month I had him like every moment was as important as the next and took it upon myself to pull more of the weight because V was surely still recovering from delivering this giant(8lbs 2oz, 21 1/4inches), albeit gorgeous, boy of a baby. I played guitar for him showed him drawings recited poetry sang to him danced with him dressed him up in little outfits changed his diapers bathed him fed him prepared his bottles presented his sleeping beauty to his mother if she wasn't already admiring him. I was just so fucking happy and excited to be a father... Something I honestly never thought would happen

>>18275880
so what exactly are you asking?

>>18275886

Do I

A) Go save V and my son and gruesomely dismember her sister in the process
B) Be cool go to court be honest and hope for the best
C) Relentlessly seek out every option to commandeer custody of my son
D) Suicide
E) Other


All kidding aside I only maybe was asking for how /adv/ might assess my situation and help me to better understand something I had overlooked. In willing to answer questions that might assist one in providing me with that kind of help.

>>18275906
Although women tend to win custody battles, would Victoria fight to gain custody? If she is being forced against her will to be away from you I don't see why she would comply. Is she just a weak person so she submitted to her sister? Is her sister aware of your previous drug use?

>>18275886
Who knows maybe all I'm asking is for someone to tell me it will all be okay or I'm bad and I should feel bad for shooting or maybe ideas reaching out for the slim chance that someone who has been through a similar situation could provide me with the end to their story... Maybe my post was better suited for a different board.

>>18275913
I must have revealed her name in one of my posts huh... Hahaha

I've been trying to reassure myself that she would in fact not fight for custody and that given the moments in mediation before the hearing we could easily be reunited officially and leave together.
She isn't weak, but her sister is fearsome and V may or may not suffer from some sort of mental instability related to paranoia. Her sister is aware of everything, except my actually being a good person and loving her sister.

>>18275926
I don't know what is stopping you two from being together. Her sister has no hold on her since you already have a place to live. She cannot make Victoria legally stay with her. I think you need to help Victoria make the choice and leave her sister. Assuming you aren't still using, your home sounds like an OK environment. Even if Victoria wins custody because she is forced to, she can still come live with you.

>>18275932
Well, what is stopping me from taking the necessary steps is her sister. Not that I am afraid of her I am only afraid of how her reaction to anything I do could put a strain on what may be a perfectly fine relationship between Victoria and myself. That has been my lowest fall back that I could conceive of, we are granted joint custody or I am granted visitation and even if Victoria has developed some second thoughts as to our relationship I slowly but surely win her back with enough frequent interaction and my desire and relentless courting attempts.


But I believe I left out a crucial detail, the day that Victoria's sister took her and my son by the afternoon after I had already realized something was amiss a person arrived at my gate asking where is Victoria. I immediately responded with the same sentiment "good question I've been wondering the same thing" she expressed disbelief and confusion to that answer and I assured her she was not present but insisted she tell me who she was and why she was inquiring. CPS. Apparently, they were contacted by a "doctor" who had concluded that my son was malnourished based on his weight gain. I had a perfectly amicable and insightful conversation with this woman and invited her into my home and she provided me with a thumbs up essentially. In the midst of this Victoria called me to calm me and inform me. She had claimed it was because of the drugs that she was not home and that she wanted us to have our own place(might I add that we were/are no longer living in the garage but my grandmas house who is currently in a rehabilitation center for her dementia). I insisted that was not a problem and questioned why she didn't just say something to that affect, she claimed she had which I recall I replied to with a snarky offhand comment that was not meant as anything but a playful response to what I assumed was an innocent what-if...

>>18275986
Continued

.I told her that CPS was there and she asked me if they found anything and I was like
"What?! They are here because she says Jr. Is malnourished and it could be the baby isn't being fed"
and she seemed wholly unsurprised at which point the agent asked if she could speak with Victoria to find out where she was so she could go and see the baby. I sent with the agent my son's bed, diapers and wipes, food, clothes and a vase full of roses for Victoria.
Also... Because I could only assume that either Victoria or her sister were to assuredly reveal the our drug use, I willingly presented the information to the CPS agent so as to assume responsibility for both myself and victoria in the hopes of minimizing any negative scrutiny against Victoria's competence as a mother and to avoid Victoria unknowingly throwing me under the bus.

Because if Victoria were to reveal that info she would admit to herself using as well as I. And if said info was given after the agents arrival to my doorstep I would only be displaying my honesty. But, if the agent was deceiving me and had already spoke to someone and been told of the drugs then my willingly presenting said info before pressed only demonstrated my honesty even more and either way Victoria came out ahead as either collateral damage in my own druggy adventures or as merely an adult participating in consensual recreational drug use. Either way she didn't look worse if I said anything. So I did the agent didn't seem surprised and advocated I go to the court house to file papers

Oh and I've been told since then that CPS was called by no doctor, but by her sister and her sister's husband. I don't believe the malnourishment claim as I am tall and thin and my son is MY son. He grew an inch and a half in one month but didn't pack on many pounds. I believe a claim of malnourishment could only be backed up by blood tests confirming some sort of vitamin or mineral deficiency. The cps agent said the doc wasn't happy with his weight but they were still waiting on a blood test. And when I last had a chance to talk to Victoria she revealed that the agent had ceased her appearances to check on our son cause everything was going well.

>>18275932
Oh! And yes, I am proud to say I am clean as of 22 days ago. Ashamed... Or reluctant at least, to admit I had used what I did when I did for as long as I did, but nonetheless proud to not be doing it now.