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Anonymous
My conversations getting hijacked 2017-05-01 07:16:37 Post No. 18275621
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My conversations getting hijacked 2017-05-01 07:16:37 Post No. 18275621
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I'm a pretty shy guy, withdrawn introvert but not too lacking in confidence. Whenever I'm in a social situation with a group of people I'm the quiet one that mostly sits there and listens to what the other people are talking about. Most of it is very boring to me but I do pick up on some things from some people that is interesting and I would like to talk about, so I wait for a window of silence in the group chat where I can bring it up. And what happens is this
>...
>Me: So person A, that thing you were talking about, is that like a something something?
>loud extroverted person B who's been talking all night: OH YEAH! That something something with the thing, how's that going? Is that like another thing or? I have thought about it but I yadayadayada
And so now person A and person B are talking about the thing I wanted to talk about. But that was my conversation damnit. And person B just stole it from me. And I'm back to being merely an observer instead of talking.
I guess what I want is techniques to prevent this from happening or how to steal the conversation back when it happens?
>>
>facial cues
If people look at ya, it's your moment to speak
You seem to know how to keep the convo going since your interested
>Watch for body language, is their body open or just facing towards that particular person?
Pretty much all I got
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>>18275621
>And person B just stole it from me.
Can't you keep talking with them if that happens? Also are you a man or a woman?
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>>18275639
Can't you read? he said he was a shy guy, you fucking idiot.
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>>18275639
No because >>18275629 they're not looking at me anymore, person A is now focused on person B who is now asking the things I wanted to ask and pretty much killing my opener while also keeping person A from further conversation that it might have lead to. I would have to wrestle my way back in and that's difficult for me because I'm not confrontational I suppose. I'm a guy.
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>>18275647
I usually skim through the posts so I guess I forgot he said that. Not sure why you felt the need to insult me
>>18275658
Hm yeah I think you're going to have to work on being more assertive. It's normal to get interrupted in conversations. I don't see why you couldn't keep talking in the situation you mentioned. You say A is now focused on B but I don't think it works that way, people just look at whoever's talking.
I feel you though. I also struggle with group conversations. The fact that my voice is very low doesn't help.
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>>18275680
Oh and the reason I mentioned gender is that I find that women pay attention to what I say while men often ignore me. But I have no idea how it works if you're a man
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>>18275658
Pay attention to your body language as well, be more assertive when you have an opener, don't be too aggressive and don't think you'll fuck up. Practice.
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>>18275680
But when it's the same people talking all the time? How do I get in without a window? My voice is also low, and weak, and when I raise it I sound angry.
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