So hello /adv/
Little info about myself
>be me
>have alcohol and drug problems
>go to a decent university
>meet girl with who I fall in love with
>I have always had a hard time attaching myself to people and I have never cared for anyone but her
>we hang around but nothing intimate
>a few weeks pass
>we still cool at the surface of things
>in reality I have actually been losing my love for her and I don't know why
Basically my greatest concern is that I will end up losing all my feelings and I don't want that since I have never been able to express them before. I'm 21, I've been into relationships (though it was all for sex) before but I am scared that this is what the future is going to be for me.please help idk
>>18274105
>have alcohol and drug problems
That's awfully vague.
>>18274118
What details would you like?
>>18274129
What are you using?
Also, why do you think you have attachment problems?
And why do you think this girl sparked that feeling? How did it happen?
>>18274143
I take adderall pretty regularly and simple vodka on the weekends (I used to mix both for effect)
I don't know why actually but I think that it is because I have always struggled to relate to people or find anything in common with them.
I think that I found something in her that is almost a part of me and it's this fucking gay feeling I have for her that it is difficult to explain and it hasn't happend before
>>18274174
I'm sorry anon, but that still tells me fucking nothing about you.
>>18274187
Just help me out, ask any fucking question or any fucking details I swear
>>18274190
Okay, you said you're losing the feelings you have for her. Why? Is it because she isn't who you thought she was? Is it the adderall numbing your true feelings? Is it because you're convincing yourself you don't have a crush because you're afraid? Is it the same reason your still just hanging out instead of actually dating?
All I can do is stab in the dark here, man. Introspect a little.
>>18274226
Alright.
I think that yes, I did over play her at first and that I am thr only one in the relationship doing the heavy lifting by engaging or planing or starting the conversations etc. But no, we have dated it's just that i haven't pushed it anywhere because of these doubts.
The other aspect is probably because I might just be in denial for the fact I lover her because in my previous hookups I didn't fucking care for the people and it was just all fucking rather progress. Honestly I don't even fucking know and I feel like im talking in circles fuck.
I think that in the grand scale of this I'm just really desperate at this point and I have been trying to project myself into others so I could find someone I care for.