I can't leave

>>18272195
since you can't sack up have fun living with her for the rest of your life and being miserable. Either that or of course break up and bail.

bruh... why would you resign the lease... you dumbass.

that being said, im in the same boat but been in it longer. I can't leave just like you. I'm not happy, she's not happy.

The only thing I can surmise to say is that we (me for sure) are scared to be alone.

My gf is the same as yours and probably worse in some areas. She drinks consistently and keeps saying she wants a life together and to be married, yet takes no steps towards doing any of this and holds me back.

Some days I wake up the happiest man alive that this woman is in my life and that I would take on the world for her. Most days its dreadful thinking of the dull, mundane, and annoying arguments we'll have.


Sorry, I'm not much for advice but I wanted to vent too and not start a new thread.

Pro tip: If you feel this way after a year, just end it. Don't invest 4 years of back and forth, and being in a toxic environment. It only gets worse, as we get older. (I'm 26 -> 27)

>>18272200
I have said this to myself more than once, and it scares the Hell out of me.

>>18272210
I am actually not that afraid to be alone. I am in a sense, but confident I could find someone better. Its good to know I am not alone. Well it kinda sucks actually, because I don't want anybody else to feel this, but not as lonely now.

I keep coming back to the same stupid excuse: " she hasn't fucked up bad enough to dump". I have never broken up with anyone before, and find it hard to do now.

desu

>>18272240
>"she hasn't fucked up bad enough to dump"
>I have never broken up with anyone before

These two are opposite sides of the same coin. If you have ever dumped someone before you'd know that the first statement above is 100% false. You don't owe anyone being in a relationship if you aren't happy.

Relationships are supposed to be FUN. They're supposed to make you HAPPY at least 80% of the time.

If your ratio is consistently below 80% they don't have to have done a single goddamn bad thing to justify being dumped. They aren't your family, you don't owe them your fidelity and loyalty.

Now get out there and find someone you ACTUALLY LIKE being around.

Sounds like she may be borderline. That's a tough one to escape.
Check out "stop walking on eggshells" book on torrent or library.
Mine would calm down quite a bit after "trapping" me in a lease.
Check out the song "50 ways to leave your lover" for some courage.
You can do it! You need to do it!

>>18272331
She is. I didn't want to say it in the OP. Sadly, I have lost sympathy for her on this. I am sorry to anyone dealing with that illness, but stay far away from me. I am so used to her I can't see how crazy she looks to others half the time.

It seems like every time she gets her way/we progress in the relationship. She wigs out.

This is depressing OP. I hope you can escape that demon soon. Even if you have to pay double rent.

>>18272293
This makes sense. Thank you.

I just had a scary thought. What if I wake up tomorrow and just let everything go back to normal? Fuck. I promised this person everything and I feel so bad leaving them. She is just a miserable human being though, and it is ruining my life. I really don't want to resign myself to this. Any tips for breaking a lease?

>>18272346
Can you move in back with your parents for the time being?

>>18272693
If I wanted to they would say yes in an instant. That is what I did last time.

>>18272338
I have BPD. After reading what you've said about the situation, it's pretty clear you should leave her.

She isn't going to take it well at all, might threaten suicide or self-harm, but you have to understand that this is not your fault. And in the end, it's far better that you both be apart so she has time to work on herself and maybe engage with therapy or start medication.

I'm afraid I can't really advise on how to go about breaking up, but one thing I will say is that you absolutely have to stick to your guns once you've done it. Remove her from your life, and let her do the same to you. Those feelings never really go away and with BPD where everything is super raw, being 'just friends' or flip-flopping after will just cause immense pain to her and a great deal of pain for you. Don't let guilt trick you into thinking 'maybe we can make it work', you've just got to get it over with and let her burn herself out. Anything that she threatens you with or blames you for is not your fault, you have a right as a human being to end an unhealthy relationship when necessary.

BPD fucking sucks and I feel for her in that respect, but you can't let yourself get dragged down any more by this relationship. It can never be healthy until she's learned to manage it. Best of luck.

>>18273115
Maybe do that so you don't have to be around her.