GIOYC

I miss you.

Everyone on campus,
Thanks for the invite.

No but seriously why am I the only one on campus right now, aside from a few autistic asian kids?

Without thinking, I just told my mom about how I want to die. Everything's just been worse than it's ever been lately and I felt like I had to say something, but I fucked it all up. I regret it so much and she's crying downstairs. I've never done anything right and I wish I was dead.

S, I wish I could tell you that I understand what you are going through because I suffer the same thing. It's the reason why I never had a gf because I end up freaking people out, as well as hurting them in ways I could possibly ever know.

>>18271391
https://youtu.be/UbQgXeY_zi4

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Freckles drive me wild.

Why did I choose to go to prom right now. Should've stayed home and avoided social suicide.

Jesus Christ babe, how long have we known each other? It wasn't long ago you wanted me to move there to be with you. And now you won't even tell me if I should visit or not after I've held a job and started getting better. I was dead set on selling my shit and just moving there and finding you. But I can visit and it doesn't have to be so hard. It's $109 to take a bus there and maybe $600 to stay comfy for a week. I can do that easy. FUCKING CALL ME. WE'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER TOO LONG FOR YOU TO BTFO ME WHEN I'M STABLE AGAIN.

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I find it really uncomfortable when people use my full name (Dakota). I wonder if it's because of my social anxiety, or it's because I'm around family 97% of the time and they all call me Ko or Koda.

It doesnt matter how much effort i put into therapy, im still not any close to being happy and the only place where i dont pass as a cold, rude, apathic ass is the internet, just cause lurking is a thing. IRL friends make me feel lonely and lack of gf is starting to settle in my mind as the inevitable date in which i finally am kicked out of college arrives and my life is finally proven to be a waste of effort and hopes from my family.

Abbie

You're an absolute fucking piece of shit, hope your mental illnesses never go away.
You're completely right in hating yourself, you're a piece of garbage.

I just relapsed on porn cus I wanted to try a horny pill to see if it would work..

Time to start all over again..

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you were killed fighting for something you believed in, that's more than most on this planet could say.

but I still miss you cousin, I went north and you went south. I wish we could have shared a Sunday diner together one last time.

Rest In Peace Octavio Rogelio De La Cruz
you would have been 27 today.

asta la victoria siempre ermano.

When a guy compliments me on everything, I lose interest so fast. I work very hard and have a lot of things I'm proud of, but here they come and say the dumbest things I do are amazing. I can't put into words why it bothers me. I realized that with all the guys I've liked, getting a compliment was not an easy thing. I guess I like a challenge. The guy I currently like is wicked smart and pays no attention to me lol. I probably don't have a chance with him but do I want him!

>>18271739
Rest in peace, Octavia Rogelio De Le Cruz.
My condolences, anon.

>>18271749
thank you.

>>18271739
>>18271749
Octavio* fucking auto correct making me look like an asshole

>>18271751
it's ok, you ment well.

I wish I was back home to give my aunt a hug.
she must need one today.

>>18271389
I'm retarded.

One of my acquaintances asked when talking to a friend of mine if I was my oneitis' boyfriend since I've been seen by him hanging out 1 on 1 with her quite frequently.

My faggot friend made a joke about how I'm a pussy and never actually asked her out to the acquaintance. But its just that... She made it so clear that she isn't up for dates right now. I always try to get her romantically close to me as much as possible. And it has been working really well. It was kind of forced at the start but now its a cute special bond. The thing is: I can't seem to close the deal, be it because of her closure toward getting a boyfriend right now or because of other shit E.G.:me not being able to grow nuts and confront her on me wanting to GF her up.

Fucking shit. Its all so relative.

I need to get back to my little exercises and fucking search for a way to call her out. It cant keep going like this. Even though I shouldn't, its getting annoying being memed by every fucking close friend because of how weird our relationship and how chill I am with not actually being her boyfriend.

Alright, no more games. Gonna ask her and see if she's up for trying to be actually my girlfriend instead of that one close female friend who I seem to have a crush on in everyones eyes.

>>18271771
Personally I wish I could hug you both. Your post tugged at me and I just hope you'll be safe.

This is the first time I've ever been drunk, anons.
And it's alone, in front of a computer, playing Overwatch.
I am simultaneously laughing and crying.

>>18271821
Enjoy your experience and please stop crying.

>>18271821
That's no way of experiencing your first drunk time anon.
Also laughing and crying at the same time is normal in that state. Drink some water along the booze or you will regret it tomorrow.

I'm all twisted up inside. It's been a month since we admitted our mutual attraction and she started working with me. She's looking for Mr Right and I'm not him. I'm in an open marriage and my wife has a boyfriend, but this girl is looking for the man she could marry. We flirt every day and are the only two in a room together. While I'd like her to find her own happiness, it also hurts when she talks about other guys. I give her honest advice when it comes to them because even if nothing happens between us, I truly want to be her friend.

My wife doesn't know about us. She would be jealous of the emotional relationship I've built with her. I feel like I'm really digging myself in a hole here. Yet the highs I feel from becoming otherwise intimate with another person are amazing.

Not looking for advice, just working out my thoughts. Will answer any questions.

>>18271801
thank you. that actually means alot.
he was a wonderful person with a great family.

but he was also a loyalist. the kind that is too loyal for his own good.

he's in heaven now, resting and looking down on us.

makes me happy remembering all the summers we spent playing ps1 together.

>>18271845
<3 words escape me right now. But I don't want to stop reading what you're typing. Maybe it is good for you to let it out to a complete stranger who won't judge you.

>>18271842
Clarification:
*we are the only two in a room together at work.

I need to stop craving the validation of other people. How the fuck do I overcome this?

Bratwurst oder Nachos??

>>18271854
yeah maybe.

Please stop fighting for me. I belong to someone else. It doesn't matter whether I love him or not. I am committed to him.

My efforts are leading me nowhere, I'm going to be alone forever

Great.

Found a text message convo from my GF today with another guy making plans for next week. Then another message from one of her bestfriends asking if she ended it with me yet.

All this after she called me in tears last night wanting me to pick her up at a bar she had an awful time at. And she got me a housewarming gift for my new place.

I fucking hate any and all humans rn.

>>18271793
Talk to her about it dude

>>18271863
Bratwurst

I can't imagine you get good nachoes in Germany
I love the snap of the skin of brats

I'm trying to join the military as an officer
My country allows me to do transfer my shitty undergrad degree straight into a commission
But it's slow and I think I'll need to shop around for a trade that will take me

I've been waiting 10 months so far.
It's hard
It sucks
I hate it

I've been drinking a lot
I don't have a problem
I have a "drinking hobby"

I took a girl's virginity 16 months ago. That was the first and so far only time we met irl, but we've known each other for a while through the internet. We're more or less in a committed relationship, but sometimes she says worrying shit like "Sometimes I'm not sure if I actually love you or if you're just another source of validation on the internet". We won't be able to meet regularly irl for at least two more years. I'm going off to college next fall and I realize there will be plenty of willing single girls there. Should I just dump her? She's great and all but it feels kinda shitty that we never meet and that she doesn't seem to feel that it's "real" sometimes.

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I've hurt so many people's feelings, and I DO know why. It felt really good.

Building a rapport with someone... Making a plan... Then, oh fuck, the rush as the deadline grows close, the "will I won't I"... Sometimes I followed through, but only so it was so much sweeter when I didn't.

I'm literally a monster, and I try to avoid interacting with people too closely. Because I can't resist. Better to reap the disappointment from many small minor interactions.

I don't know or care why I do this, I just try to cause as little pain as possible now.

Drinking heavily quiets the urge. Occasionally... very rarely... I scar myself in a fit of rage, and that quiets the urge for quite a while. In retrospect, I always kept it in check with masochism growing up. Until I barely managed to earn my freedom... Such as it is.

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I'm really fucking tired of you blowing me off to hang out with your friends, and your faggot beta friend who totally likes you but is too pussy to do anything about it is really getting on my nerves. You show him like EVERYTHING I show you, it's like your being vicariously interesting through me. Have some fucking originality you can be such a typical dumb bitch sometimes.

Also the reason why I don't want to fuck you as often anymore is being the sex isn't that great, it's like a fucking chore honestly

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>>18272014
To clarify, I get usually get my sick joy from making a "date" with a friend, or maybe more, then blowing it the fuck off.

It's just so nasty and cruel... As best I can tell, that's why I do it. I just love hurting people in the safest way.

But I hate that I did it. So I don't, now.
I did for a long time. I have no defense.

For the record, I'm a guy. Average, nerdy. When you have the confidence that comes from a sick rush, you'd be surprised how good you can look. Confident and dedicated.
And yes, that is horrible. That's me.

I thought sharing it would quiet the urge...
I don't think it worked. Please be on your guard. Some people are awful.

I think about how much I love you
How much I appreciate you
It makes me sad that we can't be together

But what if you love me as much as I love you?
That makes me happy
That makes all things bearable

I like that idea
Even if it isn't likely true

>>18271970
Gonna try to do it soon. It hasnt gotten to the point I'm mad as shit about it so its not that big of a priority. I've also got some college shit to do so I'll focus on that. If she strikes up a conversation during me getting my shit together its even better since it'll show shes noticing my absence.

Thanks bruv

I'm fucking lonely my dudes.

>>18271420
Tell her you were being ironic

No but seriously tell her it was just a moment of melodrama and then make a ludicrous suggestion of how you really want to die, like Fighting off the Mongolian Hordes, and she might cheer up and begin to understand you're an angsty autist but she doesn't have to cry with fear for her son.

>>18271480
Cucked
She's not into you bro. Let it go
Your withdrawal will have two effects
She'll come back to you, showing she cared
She'll not care, showing she doesn't anymore

Sorry bro. Been there. You'll be wasting your time crawling on your knees and throwing caution to the wind - you'll only seem desperate, not romantic.

I'm aware my focus needs to be on money and my bike, to study how to ride so I can meet new people. I need to get laid but I don't want aids.

>>18271494
That's a fucking cool name. It's a cool kid name, embrace it you lucky fuck. You've gotta let people know it's cool to call you Koda, it makes them feel closer to you

Tried to kill myself a couple months ago, don't know whether or not to tell anyone.

>>18271743
Okay, just curious, do you like it when guys compliment your "obvious" qualities AFTER getting to know them and dating them? Like if they said you had a tite ass a few months in?

>>18271389
Fuck you for being so perfect
Fuck me for never asking you out when I had the chance
Now everytime we hang out all I do after you leave is hate myself for never being a braver man. This regret is eating away at me and I can't take it
Maybe I should tell you how I feel so you can reject me and I can get on with my life because this just feels wrong

Why do you have to laugh at all my jokes and smile so much whenever I look at you. Why do you have to love all the same stupid shit that I love from games to TV shows to anything else. You are killing me inside and I love it and hate it

Fuck

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Still having really intrusive suicidal thoughts. Still getting harder every day to convince myself not to act on them. But still hanging in there I guess. Much love to any other anons out there who are feeling down, stay strong.

>>18272255
Please don't die.

>>18271565
Your effort matters. You matter. The answer isn't about being happy. It's about learning to manage things in this life better. It's fucking hard and hurts like hell. But it's worth it.

I'm super fucking depressed and have no one to talk to

Although I made it up with my bestie, I still feel he's nit normal with me. I am insecure. I feel alone although I have some friends and talk to people. Maybe I am possessive and want someone for myself. Idk anymore about anything that's going on.

I've just gotten my 2nd DUI on Easter Sunday. my job has fired me as a result. I've always hated people with DUIs, as well as myself for the first DUI, once I start drinking I can go forever. my .BAC at the time of the arrest was .22. I'm 140 lbs. I went from my own apt, beautiful gf, college, to absolute embarrassment and loss of everything in the span of 2 years.

I am flawed, and I'm going to fail.
There are a lot of things I probably won't be able to change.
One day my philosophy will fail me.
One day these easy going days will haunt me.

I like being able to create magic, but magic isn't worth much in these times.

>>18271472
It's not any better at home.

Literally did nothing productive all day.

Girl I love, er loved, went out tonight with friends. Didn't even invite me, didn't even say hi to me. She claimed she's always happy to talk to me, but I severely doubt it. Fuck these people man.

Maybe one day I'll find someone, but I doubt it's any time soon.

Sometimes I don't know why I miss yo, but when I do I just hate living.
I wish I never picked up that tablet and read those conversations you were having with E and that Doro guy.
I wish I didn't start talking to you again, before I was perfectly happy not talking with you or knowing what was going on in your life.

I guess I'm still possessive of you because we dated for 8 years and this is only the 4th month we've been apart

You'll tell me you still love me, but the further in this new relationship you go the less you say it. The less anything you say to me feels like anything other than pity words

You suck and the exbest friend of mine is a huge faggot for going behind my back and dating you, then continuing to never really speak to me like everything is cool. Or that he knows we're over but him finally getting some and having a relationship is worth more than the decade long friendship we had.

Fuck both of you. You two are the epitome of people I get to know. Assholes who use me and then drop me once they've gotten something they like more.

This post doesn't even do all the bullshit you two put me through justice, and I don't feel better.

>>18272339
Alex? Is that you?

>>18271743
Sometimes the simplicity behind something carries more meaning than what you perceive to be your crowning achievement. Perhaps what is in abundance in their world they reject, and seek what is in scarcity, and they found it in your world. They themselves may not even put a serious significant value on it, you just gave yourself the illusion they did. But maybe this one detail they discovered was what stood out.

I'll give you an example. There's a girl I have a huge crush on (unrequited). I complimented some really basic, trivial beat she made, it was like some dancy loop with a catchy rythmic synth. Nothing special. But you see, both her and I are into extreme music, so that extreme shit is in abundance in both our worlds, so what stood out for me at that very particular moment was not her more complex work.. that is sort of expected of her, no.. what stood out was this very basic dancy loop.

Later I researched the rest of her music I didn't even know was available for free, and I was blown away by her work! But by then.. I had already complimented that one simple beat.. and it felt like.. well the last thing I wanna do is bombard her with more commentary... yet I really felt like telling her. But there again, some people hate being recognized for an extension of themselves, because truly, it is merely an extension..yet they wont up and stop creating shit to stop attracting compatible ppl either. Want the pie and eat it too so to speak.

Solution: make yourself as transparent as possible, deconstruct yourself for those who care to know you. The power play fades when there's nothing to hide. Bonus, you get to keep those TRULY interested in you around. Those who don't like you, perhaps never would have.

One time when I was in high school I took a shit on the floor instead of using the toilet. There was no need for it, I just wanted to do it.

>>18272382
well..maybe trivial wasn't the word I wanted to use.. heh, clearly I liked the song.. hmm

maybe none of what I typed was useful to the girl who posted here who knows.

I love everything about your body, including your flaws. I need you to be flawed because I am too. And besides... I got to smash it when you were still young so I know how sexy you can be.

Will you love me once I'm a bitch to you and no longer love you anymore? Cause I'm almost there. Did you not see the chills on my arms and the tears running down my face as you fucked me? Do you feel how awkward it is when we look at one another's lips but don't let them meet? Do I have to not care about you like your ex did in order for you to love me?

I'm the anon who has the gf with the guilty conscience. Tonight we went to a mutual friends and she got drunk and is passed the fuck out. She told me I'm not going to want to be her friend anymore when she tells me what she did and then side stepped the conversation by having sex with me. I am disgusted and am now in the living room trying to cry. I hate this.

I can't stop thinking about you.Every day and night all I do is think about you.I know I told you I can go on without you but I don't think I can

I love you moe.

>>18271743

Sounds about right.
I have a rule about never complimenting women anyway lol. Bunch of reasons; comes off as creepy, don't want to inflate their ego, shit like that.

Generally gets me more attention, and every time I've accidentally broken this rule (being shocked at how old this manager at my workplace actually was - 40's by the way, only looked 23-25) I ended up kicking myself because I broke my rule and now they probably think I'm a creep trying to fuck them (despite the fact I was simply genuinely surprised).

More men need this "never compliment" rule desu.

>>18272222
Lol quads of despair. You'll die a very lonely death rip.

I HATE dykes and lesbians. Some of the rudest people on the planet if you're a man.

>>18272556
forgiveness is a big part of love..
...self respect is a big part of love..
drunkeness is a big part of self destruction..
and self destruction makes you wonder just how loved the other person ACTUALLY feels near you..
everybody needs release though, in some way, drinking helps people, but my advice would be not to drink at a party when you're in a relationship, drink at home with your partner.. if she cheated while drunk, you can choose to leave her, and it's perfectly valid. Or you can choose to forgive her, and wait a looong time, till the trust is rebuilt... sometimes it can never be rebuilt.

If she hasn't explicitly said anything though.. who is to say the depth of her situation.. sex? made out with a stranger? exposed herself? ..try to take it easy and maybe go to a public place for fresh air.

>>18272334
What do you need to talk about?

>>18271389
It's only because you're a furry and watched Brother Bear growing up.

>>18272181

I guess I'll focus on stability until I'm completely stable then. I need to keep working on myself anyway. It'd be real nice to see her though, even if she doesn't wanna fug.

My on and off girl keeps saying that i "do all the right things but then say something to ruin it" when all i'm doing is, what i see, as teasing/light ribbing.

I do this to all the people i really like.

Is the only way to fix this is just by stop being cheeky and trying to be funny all the time

i want to kill my self, im tired of everything i don't want to live anymore.

Oddly enough you look exactly like the person from that dream I had where I fell in love for the first time in nine years. And although you talk and look like someone I would fall in love with, I've felt an oxytocin rush and you didn't give me one. Sorry, I want to be as happy as she made me even if she's not very happy with me right now, but my aspergers is going to be a barrier here. I'm as loyal to her as my dog is gay for me, and I don't think you want to teach me intimacy.

I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

i thought she was the one, and i always did
we mutually broke up though because it stopped working,
i wanted her back so badly
she said she loved me but thought if we got back together after the break up then it might go bad again
if you love someone and want to be with them, that doesn't matter
i always liked her more than she liked me and it's obvious to me now
she didnt love me like she used to during the end of our relationship
she didnt want to get naked in front of me, or have sex with me
i told her i would wait for her, and our last words after talking about how we needed time apart after the break up were "i love you" from her and "i love you too" from me
i always imagined us getting back together
i met her last night and talked,
she drunkenly kissed 2 people at bars after a month of us being apart, even though it was supposed to be us getting back together
even if i forgave her for that, i couldnt be with someone who cant love me back
she used to be the one, she really did
she isn't now, though, and that kills me
she isn't even mine anymore
i'll never have the old her back
i'll never forget our memories
i'll never forget last night
i'll never forget how she didn't love me like i loved her

>>18273033
Time heals... that statement is a meme btw. The other night I had a dream about my ex from 9 years ago. I don't have feelings for her anymore, she left long ago. But the dream made it seem as if our love was somehow rekindled. I woke up feeling strange, like disgust, unwanted joy, and curiosity. I used to dream of her and I'd fall right back in love with her memory. Now I wonder why the fuck these stupid ass dreams even bother trying to shake me. I have an unrequited crush now, and frankly, I would have preferred dreaming about her instead.

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I cut myself today for the first time in a year. I thought I'd gotten over this. Thought I was getting better. Couldn't deal with spending time with my ex as 'just friends'. Got home and smashed a picture frame, used the broken glass to slash myself up. Guess I forgot my inhibition with it being so long since the last time, and gashed my leg right open. Had to wrap it up and limp to the hospital for stitches.

Problem is now I feel like there's no point in holding back since I've already done it once. The house is empty and night is drawing in, all I have is myself and these thoughts. Kinda hope I don't cut too deep, but really, would it be so bad?

My exams are soon and i still cant study a fucking thing for the life of me
My ocd is killing me and i feel like a piece of shit

Why the fuck are girls so quick to take actions like this? Social ostracism and blocking I mean
>be me, studying in library
>5/10 Asian sees what I'm studying and we talk for a while, become friends
>each day same deal, she's very nice and seems sympathetic for my autism induced lonelyness
>after a few days of this I work up the nerve to ask her If she's wants to see a movie or something
>"oh idk anon I think I'm going to be busy soon" day progress as normal after
>next day she's doesn't show up, it's getting late so I check Facebook, BLOCKED
>few days later as I'm leaving library to go home she enters the library and we make eye contact, she's looks away and covers her face with a book she's holding as we pass by
Literally WHY? I've never been made to feel like a robot in public before. Ive literally never hadn't such a a bad experience and i have no idea what I did so wrong
Why didn't she just say at she wasn't interested
Why didn't she have to make me feel like I was some kind of sick stalker just because I liked her

This happened years ago but I still think about how shit it made me feel (maybe once every 6 months at most) How do I get over this? Ive had plenty of girlfriends at this point, i outgrew my autism long ago.

its not that you lost your phone and you were a drunk mess the other night, you were just heartbroken about wanting to slow things down and take a break/ultimately break up with me.

I came and picked you up while you were teary-eyed and upset with your friends ditching you to go to another bar, we spent the night in each others arms and you said you loved me so much. Then last night i come across texts from your friend asking if you ended it with me yet and exchanges with some other guy making plans for this week. Then we begin to talk late in bed and that's when shit hit the fan.

I don't understand why you say you love me. As a friend? as a lover? im confused. How can you want to date multiple people and take things slow while saying you love someone so much and are grateful for them, how i came into your life at such a good time, etc. You didn't have to lie about other guys, you didn't have to say there isn't anyone else when there clearly was. I could see the guilt in your eyes everytime you checked your phone.

I don't know if i can see you this week honestly, im not going to wait for you to figure yourself out. I love you so much and this hurts so fucking badly. I just want you to know that.

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I've been trying really hard not to let my jealousy get in the way of my friendships.most of them have their own lives,girlfriends,jobs,ETC.i on the other hand am just boring.i don't have a job,I'm a kissless virgin and the only things i really do are hang out with them,play video games or do school work. i feel so boring a lot of the time.
My prom is this week and i won't go.

the only thing going for me right now is that i got my temps

why am I so afraid of you leaving me?

you promised you wouldn't so long as I were faithful and good to you, and I believe that, and I love you so much I would never hurt you. I'd never want to hold you hostage in our relationship, I want you to be happy more than anything in the world. I'm just so afraid that some how or some way I'll push you straight out of love with me.

I want you to know
He's not coming back
Look into my eyes
I'm not coming back

So knives out
Catch the mouse
Don't look down
Shove it in your mouth

If you'd been a dog
They would've drowned you at birth

Look into my eyes
It's the only way you'll know I'm telling the truth

So knives out
Cook him up
Squash his head
Put him in the pot

I want you to know
He's not coming back
He's bloated and frozen
Still there's no point in letting it go to waste

So knives out
Catch the mouse
Squash his head
Put him in the pot

>>18271896
You BELONG? Like you're his property? Damn, you're weak.

youve probably hurt her before.

>>18272952
You haven't been following the situation. She did something fucked up that she won't tell me about that is tearing her apart. I've done nothing but love and support her throughout this situation, literally holding and kissing her drunk ass at my house for six hours straight while she cried over it but still refused to tell me in the end. Whatever it is, she knows it's over when she tells me and is hesitating. I've told her I won't judge her unfairly and she agrees I have a right to know, and now she's trying to get all the stuff we didn't do during our short relationship done before I dump her.

Really don't know why I still miss you, Z. I hate that I miss you. Abused people crave for toxicity; that's you and me, sharing the same fate. You never get out of it, and yet your soul want to lift up this misery because It doesn't feel right. Seriously, life's been good without you though, but it also feels quite empty. It feels like you're missing a limb or something. Hope you're okay.

>>18273301
...sad

>>18272192
I meant before dating them. You know, when they try to impress you or whatever. With my ex, I looved when he complimented my body. And I complimented him as well. I think I like when a guy is genuine, and not pretending to be nice to get in my pants.

>>18272672
I think you're taking it to the extreme, but yeah, it's a good idea not to compliment women much (unless you're dating her!). I doubt they think you're a creep because of what you said, it was genuine surprise. It's when the compliment feels fake that it bothers me. Like oh really, would you say the same to your male friend? Of course not.

I hate the fact that my boyfriend is moving to another country for medical school. Quite a rash decision, and also because he couldn't get into medical school in our home country. I always tell him that I don't mind that he's pursuing his passion but I can't shake the feeling that this will ruin our relationship which is currently perfect. I don't want anything to change. I think I'm being selfish for blaming him that we're going to be long distance for the next 5 years. But I keep telling myself it's going to be worth it and that I shouldn't hold him back. It would be fair to think that he would do the same for me right? I've discussed with him the possibilities of us moving to the US for work/grad school (I'm in SE and the salary is way higher than where we are currently) and he is vehemently against the idea. As in this move would be a move "together". It is disappointing to know that I would tolerate his move to another country for school while he would be against the idea if us both moving to another country for a higher salary/quality of life. He doesn't want to move because of "familiarity" to our current place. Which is a concept that I don't understand because 1) he just moved to another country so "newness" is not an excuse 2) my suggestion to move to the US would mean an increase in both our salaries 3) quality of life is much better there.

But I love him very much and would not give him up for anything in this world. I just wish that this long distance he put us in would work out. And that he would reciprocate my efforts to keep us together.

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>>18273301
...she doesn't wanna hurt you, anon.. escapism got the best of her, and now desperation is getting the best of her..

she clearly realizes she made a poor decision.. I dunno man.. I dunno how I'd handle it personally.. but if my partner cried for hours and felt like shit.. I think I'd feel horrible if I didn't find it in me to forgive her..

In fact.. I think years down the line, I'll look back and hate myself for being unforgiving..

I've even cried about this sort of thing before.. how absolutely unforgiving life is.. people being disowned by their own family for being gay for exp, people who have cheated who really felt like shit, but they were never forgiven.. and that unforgiveness made them cold inside.. resentful of humanity, misanthropic for it's lack of empathy.. people who are shunned by their own close friends for having a disease, people who have commited crimes, horrible crimes, done their time, changed, and still people resent them..

I'm not asking you to sacrifice what you believe in. But I'm telling you, that no one, not one of us is exempt from error, sin, failure, shortcomings.. not one.

If you tell someone over and over again he's a monster eventually he'll become one.
Never forget that this was your fault.

Babe remember babe babe you know you remember how bad he his babe? Come back to me babe I want you babe let me own you babe, babe I know bad a person can get babe you know?

You sound so annoying no wonder

>>18273363
By that logic if you tell someone they're a unicorn over and over they'll eventually become one.

Please call me a siren on repeat. I want to drag fuckbois to their death.

>>18272160
Go hang out in chatrooms and talk to people.
Volunteer at your local shelter, library, university. You'll end up meeting new people make friends , etc. Good luck.

I'll allow you to bother them as long as u know that they know they go after ones taken already.

>>18273078
SHE DID SAY SHE WASN'T INTERESTED

REEEEEEEEEE I FUCKING HATE THIS SHIT

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I've been wanting to tell someone about my experience with mental illness, but I have no friends so I'm typing it here.

I was planning on going to WVU (which is a HUGE party school, if you didn't know). I was extremely shy in high school, but I thought I'd adjust fine living in a dorm. It was kind of nerve-wracking when I got there, as I drove there myself with a sibling who helped drop off my stuff. Nothing I couldn't really handle. Did some other stuff that weekend, like go to orientation stuff. It was pretty stressful, but that night I guess my anxiety reached a boiling point. I felt like shit and was terrified. It was my first panic attack, and I had no idea what was going on. I fell asleep eventually, but the next day was even worse. I started to panic more and more and decided that I needed to go see a counselor since I could not handle this myself. A few hours later it got so bad that I was seriously considering running away on foot. I decided to drop out and had to get picked up. This all happened in the span of one weekend, and after that, my entire life was consumed by mental illness.

I moved in with my dad after that, and became a NEET. It was fine at first, until my junkie older brother and his girlfriend and their baby moved in. They screamed at each other CONSTANTLY and neglected their child to do drugs. They threw the baby on me constantly so they can go get drugs. They had loud sex all the time and I had to share the living room with them.

I developed a panic disorder and started to become scared of everything. I even was scared of falling asleep for a whole year. I think the psych meds I was taking fucked me up even more. It got to a point where I moved away and lived with my mom. I started seeing a therapist who pushed me to get outside more, and I have been.

Now, I go to college again (commuting). I'm no longer scared of everything, though I do get anxiety attacks pretty frequently. Still feel like shit a lot, but I'm optimistic.

I'm like one of those unbreakable rulers. The thing is, if you bend them from one extreme to the other enough times... they do eventually snap. No matter how we label ourselves, it doesn't make it true.

https://youtu.be/y0ZGNg_s1kY

>>18273626
That Good Burger DVD always gets me.

It's been 6 years since i've had any significant relationship (romantic or not)
I used to be very socially active but they destroyed my selfsteem and i dont talk to people anymore
There isn't a day im not sad or depressed, i struggle against the desire of suiciding but i wanna feel the warmth of love again, i want to feel the joy of having "friends"
But i cant bring myself to trust people anymore, i feel like an annoyance to everyone and that just makes me even more miserable every day

im sorry for everything everyone, i dont know what i did to deserve it

>>18271391
I miss me, too. I'm so great, handsome, and an all around kind yet modest individual. A fine specimen, to be sure.

I miss hanging out with you. I regret taking the break up so harshly. I should have been more supportive and respecting.

I fucking miss you, I miss being friends. I know you don't ever want to talk to me again otherwise you would have initiated contact or unblocked me.

All our shows started airing again, and their not the same watching them without you.

>>18273666
Nice digits, satan. What shows are you watching?

>>18271494
Damn it man, your name can be shortened to something that actually still sounds aurally pleasing.

You want to know what name sucks? Brandon. How do you shorten that shit? Brah? Brando? (Fuck off) I mean, the best you get is maybe B, but how fucking lame is that.

Imagine that's all people call you. It's just nails on a chalkboard every single time.

>>18273665
I was talking about a female but okay

>>18273685
https://youtu.be/ifd7xLgUnX8

>>18273678
Brad.

>>18273707
>Brandon
>Brad

How the f does that make sense

>>18273678
Bran
Don

>>18273714
How the fuck does Robert being shortened to Bob make sense?

>>18273714
Lighten up tightass, if you don't like your name then change it.

>>18273707
>>18273714
I agree. I see how you could get it, but Brad is already a such a common name. It's not really much better, either. Sort of blunt.

>>18273716
>Bran

God no.

Don is sort of like Brad.

>>18273720
Tradition.

>>18273726
I'm not Brandon... But how dare I question another anon, amirite? fss

>>18273728
Eh oh well.

>>18273700
I can dig it

>>18273740
That's why I'm saying Dakota is a pretty cool name. There's a lot you can do with it, and it's smooth in it's original form. Like, Koda as a nickname is fucking adorable. How do you say, "Bran" without sounding pissed off, and thinking of the grain?

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>>18273678

I came inside a girl but she said she had a anti conception patch, but now I'm thinking how the hell is a patch gonna stop shit?

I'm terrified

>>18273767
The patch is about 70% effective IIRC.
So... Start packing?

I feel like a failure. I'm 20 years old and have never really had an emotional connection with anyone. All I want is someone other than my parents say that they love me, someone that loves me for who I am, someone whose day I can brighten somehow, I want to care about someone.
Being a massive introvert is not helping that at all. All I do is work, play games, watch anime and get drunk with buddies occasionally. Every day I wonder how I will ever meet new people in my life considering how little I put myself out there.
I tried to change things, I went out with friends multiple times to hit up some clubs, some bars, but I felt so incredibly out of place every time. Meeting someone in that scenario just feels so forced, it's like I have to put on a mask and not be myself. This lack of affection is really getting to me and I really just want to cry every time I think about it..

>>18273777
Should I just kill her?

>>18273748
I'm a dude, so being called an adorable nickname isn't as appealing unless it's from a small child. I generally prefer "Ko" but I'd rather have Koda than Dakota. Hearing "Koda" from small children is adorable as fuck though.

I don't think "Bran" sounds that bad. I shorten people's names like that all the time when I feel close to them. My little brother is named "Travis" but I usually call him "Trav".

This is gonna be kinda /x/ but I don't really like going to that board.
I'm also wondering if I should take it to mean anything.
I have been single all my life, but early on I had a very vivid dream of the person who I would marry.
He's been in my head since then (this was probably 6-7 years ago) and ironically I met him this year.
We were getting along really well, but sort of have hit a bump in the road.
We're not talking right now.
I was feeling really bad and missing him while I was taking a shower and out of nowhere I have a "vision."
It was sort of like a dream, but very quick.
I saw him, he looked a bit more mature, but he was smiling.
It felt like a train hitting me.
Does this mean anything? It's just neurons firing, right? There's no way I could see into the future. I can't explain it. I hate the concept of "oneitis" and don't think this is it.
I just can't get over how vivid it felt.

>>18273797
I don't know, I don't like to think that the average mind is creative enough to form a completely unique human face. Usually in our creativity, we draw traits from other sources, so the chance of you randomly drawing traits from a pool of people close to you and forming an existing living face is pretty improbable, unless you somehow had exposure to that persons features earlier, albeit subconsciously. So I'd say either this person is a stalker, or you're a freaking magician. Either way, I'd say go for it. Magicians are pretty OP. If he was a stalker, this dude would've been following you for 7 years. That's determination and love right there. I'd just say don't try to force anything that isn't there. If your vision is true, you would eventually come together eventually regardless.

Doesn't it suck when your identity is formed, and you realize you're simply not interested in most things? I would love to love technology, since there's so much to it and it's booming right now, but I simply don't care.

>>18273844
We live about 300 miles apart. Met in college. Oddly similar lives up to this point, though, so I don't know. I really do miss him and want to get back to being friends, but I don't know how to initiate that. Maybe the "vision" was just god/s telling me not to worry about it. Like you said, anon, if it's real then that means it will come together naturally, I guess.

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a while ago, a very good friend of mine showed all signs of interest in me. but since she shows that to almost everyone, i didn't think of anything.
then she told me how her best friend once confessed his love for her and how awkward it was for her to reject him.
i had a crush on another girl at the time and she knew. mutual friends thought i had a crush on both.
i always thought she meant to say "please dont ever ask me out" and felt like a creep.

but looking back now, it could have meant the exact opposite. maybe SHE wanted something from me but wanted to see if SHE was too deep in the friendzone already.
maybe i'm not some guy you have to tell in advance to not ask you out.
maybe i'm actually likeable.
maybe..

>>18273867
Doubt it. I mean, not that you're likable, but that she was attempting to give you some convoluted sign to advance.

>>18273867
> i always thought she meant to say "please dont ever ask me out"

This is what it meant. You're overthinking it.

I'm trying to quit weed. Been smoking every day for 3 years.

Is anyone else in the same boat? I feel like it's taking a toll on my life.

Is anyone a daily smoker who genuinely enjoys it?

>>18273932
The craving will go away in a couple of weeks.

I'm sorry for being a useless sack of shit all these years. I swear that will change. I'll do something with my life and pay back everything you two have done for me.

>>18273301
She probably gave you HIV or aborted your baby or something

I don't understand how it's wrong for me to bring up issues to resolve or propose solutions but it's alright for you never talk about it and remain angry while acting and speaking passive-aggressively and occasionally doing underhanded things to get back at me?

I've been literally asking how I can make you happy and you have been playing dumb and being evasive every time. Yet you wait until I have my guard down and you do and say spiteful things. So what does that accomplish?

It's like you just love to live your life in the hardest way possible. Always causing your own problems and bitching about your helplessness to solve them but never actually making any kind of move to do anything about them. Why live like this? More importantly, why drag me into your madness?

>>18273626
>>18273637
I understand this shit is part of my game but I'm not getting what exaftly you're trying to say. Kenan and kel? Orange pop?

>>18273992
Let me guess, he/she's borderline right?

>>18274000
Borderline what now?

I just know she's been all but insinuating that I'm being selfish while she's having a hard time but she refuses to actually admit there are any problems or accept any solutions for them. She's got me stuck in this kind of limbo so I'm at a loss here.

I just want to feel what most of you feel or felt, even if it means getting hurt. ie a very intense relationship with someone. i just end up not caring, in the ugliest cringiest way

>>18271743
Guys who like you will compliment you, it is what it is. You're searching for something rare. Do you like being offended?

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>>18271389
I applied to a place thinking I wouldn't get the job just so I could have the excuse "oh well i tried"

>TFW I was to much of an autist to answer the phone or call back

I just want to an hero I have no dreams or goals and actually thinking about getting up at 8 in the morning and not fucking shit up creates a pit in my stomach that causes all my previous autism to bubble to the top

I still have 2 more hours until I can take sleeping pills and go to bed,

I hate life.

>>18274044
Sounds like you are being gaslighted. She's toxic.

>>18274071
I'm not offended, I lose interest. I wasn't too specific so I'll give some examples of what I mean. I fix a bug in a program: "Wow, you're like the queen of programming!". I mention I can speak a bit of a language "Wow that's amazing!" I mention a bird's name (a kind of bird that's everywhere on our city) "You're so fast at recognizing birds!". I like compliments as much as everyone else, it's these dumb compliments about small stuff that turn me off.

i just spent an entire night with a guy but we didn't fuck or even kiss because we're painfully introverted and won't initiate anything. i hate myself.

I don't know how to feel about you Kalilah, you gave me so much first times but yet your so far away emotionally, I just wanna love you

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I finally came for my girlfriend.

My deathgrip is going away!!

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>>18274207
Grats, Anon!

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I really wish you would listen to me, I understand I'm not your father but you can't expect me to be the one to get you up if your constantly staying up till 2am every night playing videogames.

I also find it extremely annoying how you talk to me while you play games, it's on the level of that video of that kid saying"Mom, get out I'm playing minecraft", don't talk to me like a peice of shit you, your this close to me leaving your ass.

t. angry boyfriend

Nobody asks you what you wanna be when you grow up. You're told to go get a job.

If you tell anyone you have a dream, the first thing they tell you is that they will NOT help you with fulfilling that dream in anyway. The second thing they ask is why you want to dream when you should focus on having a job to bring in money right now.

It's not fair for you to have all of your money to yourself so you're going to have to help out. Not that they will tell you how. You have to OFFER. Then they will say, no, of course, because who would take money from family?

Instead, the money will be guilt tripped from your hands. A bill goes up by $10 or they feel that food is going faster because of you. So instead of working out a deal where you pay something every month, you randomly have to shell out $200-400 to "help out" because you're just another mouth to feed.

It's not fair for you to have savings when others have bills to pay. Remember that. Even if those savings are for you to become independent. It's not fair for you to hoard all of that money for yourself when you're "sitting up in someone else's house".

If you decide to treat yourself with your own money, it's wrong for you to enjoy your treat without first offering to share it with everybody each time you partake in your treat. However, if it's something they can't eat due to diet or allergy then you're just as wrong for buying and offering something they can't have.

Nobody is going to help you with college. At all. Nobody cares about the time you need to study. Despite all of the experience and knowledge they have, nobody knows a thing when you come to them for help.

But if you succeed and get passing grades. It is always because of them. You couldn't do it without them. Remember that.

Also, if you ask unrelated people for help. You're a traitor because you could have asked family (again) until they stopped telling you to stop being lazy and do it yourself.

>>18274112
That's just general ass kissery. Nobody likes that.
That bird shit is some sorcery though. They all look the same to me. "Oh yes, and this species has a read feather right next to it's anus."

How the fuck am I suppose to see that? That fuckers flying by at like 60km/h.

Everyday I miss you. Please come back. I only wanted us to be happy together and nothing else matters. I know we can make things work if we try, even if it's not perfect.

>>18274217
Thanks fammo. It's just such a relief. I can count the times I've cum from sex on one hand, but hopefully my discipline keeps paying off. It was a really special moment not having to finish myself off, so to speak

I want to die.

https://youtu.be/quMGzWDy4AY

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This morning I felt like a worthless piece of shit.
Then I came home from an eight hour shift and I feel absolutely elated and pumped to study for my exams tomorrow.

Making others happy truly makes me feel the happiest (for lack of a better word). I never expect a thank you or anything in return for my actions, but knowing their day is better due to a contribution of mine brings me a ridiculous amount of joy.

Maybe this is why I haven't had the guts to finally kill myself? After all, death brings sadness, and I'd hate people to be sad because of something I did.

I need a hug.

I love you. I try not to, and I know in my heart you have moved on. It's taking everything in me to shove these feelings down as far as they can go.

But I still jump when I see a message from you. I still want to drop everything to reply to you. Almost ten years later and the thought of you fills me with butterflies. I wish I could push you away, but to have even a small part of you back in my life feels good. It feels right, even if it is slowly driving me insane.

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>>18274705

>>18274705
*hugs*
Everything will be alright, Anon.

its one of the first nights in my new place and i just feel so empty and alone. I miss my pets, i miss my family, and i miss you.

i just needed someone like you to keep me stable, thats all. I love you so much. why didnt you tell me you were going to end things sooner and why talk to other guys on the side right in front of me? seeing some of those texts made me feel the most empty ive ever felt. It was so good up until last night.

You felt bad for not talking to me last week, but engaged in a conversation with another guy all week long?

Im not going to wait for you to figure yourself and get hurt by other guys. Im sorry, but i hope you just stay safe.

im so alone.

>>18273748
It's the way a person has to say it.

I can't deal with this. I tried. I'm trying. I gave you everything I could. But it wasn't right for you. It hurts so much right now. I've never done anything so stupid in my life. I always laughed at the people who did it, but now I'm one of them. One of the fools who thought hurting themself would fix something. I'm disgusted. And it's not your fault. it's mine. For falling in love with you so fast. For wanting to be with you for the rest of my life, when you weren't even on the same level in the rleationship. I wanted to do everything in the world to make you happy. I tried. I really did. My happiness would stem from you. Now I just feel hollow.

I really just want to disappear. I'm so sorry. I love you.

It's taking everything in me not to reply to you. But I know why you sent it, and while I am amused, I am also not amused at all.

Fuck off already. You chose this.

>>18271389
I'm able to post comments but not threads due to an isp ban...

And if I delet cookies I'll have to remember passwords....

>>18274747
>try to manually delet cookies of 4chan
>isp range ban still won't threads
It's a jewish ploy to get people to buy chan gold, I know it. This place is shit and we really need to move to the 8 ch net already.

I'm trapped. I'm fucking trapped and terrified of the future. I dropped my courses this semester, now I'm on suspension. I have no money, my job won't cover rent or the massive debt I have. My car is going to get taken since I haven't had the money to make my payments. I don't know what to do I don't know what to do I'm freaking the fuck out. I just want someone to tell me it will be okay even though I know I'm at the lowest point in my life.

>>18272402
That's so classy!

>>18271462
https://youtu.be/PIHLMmO1FW4

There's the way I see it most of the time, and the way it really is.

The way I see it, you betrayed me. At the worst possible moment, you decided to push the idea that you cared about me. So much so, that I actually stopped doubting you and became determined to trust you. I wanted to love you. I could have. I accepted that things might not last, and that wasn't the problem. The thing you fucked up with, in the most insurmountable way, is not telling me that it was over when you had the chance. You realized you couldn't make this work, then waited for me to come to visit, and still didn't tell me. You knew you wouldn't want it to last, and you still sought out making things intimate. You fucked with my head with the back and forth, and waited for me to leave, waited for me to tell you how much I cared about you, and then waited for me to ask out of desperation to finally give me an answer. And just like that you throw me away.

You get to go back to that perfect life, with your still-whole family, surrounded by friends, living your dreams. I get to go back to the house I can't stand to look at anymore, with all of the painful memories of my mom dying, of all of my failures, trying to have some sense of normalcy with the remainder of my family while I trudge along to try to make something of myself. And I'll be damned, I'm doing it. I’ve picked myself up. I’ve got a future ahead of me, and I can’t trust it but it might actually be a good one. And yet somehow you still manage to ruin it. It’s barely been a year’s respite, and you of all people have pushed me back into the perverse feeling of mourning when I shouldn’t have to feel anything like this anymore. Fuck you.

>>18274568
I love this

>>18274904
I feel that way, but I know the story isn’t that simple. You did fuck up. You didn’t mean to. You got caught up in the same feelings I did, the same reservations I did, and you were afraid. You were afraid to hurt my feelings, afraid to just give up, and afraid of what trying might cost you. I just wish I knew if you really had cared about me. I wish I knew if you still thought there might be a future for us once the timer runs out and I can finally move. I wish I knew if you meant it when you asked me to just not get back on the plane, even if that meant me starting a whole new degree. I don’t care if the answers are no. I don’t care about getting hurt. I just want you to let me give up on you. But you won’t. I still can’t help believe there might be a chance, but I’m not so pathetic that I’d actually try for it now. So just do me one favor; the next time you start to care about someone, wherever you end up with them, don’t just say what they want to hear. Be honest. You think you’re showing kindness, but you have no idea how cruel you really can be.

I hate everyone except my close family and friends and I wish the rest of the world would just...

DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I really like this girl at work. She's sweet, cute, funny, interesting, and engaging in conversation. I asked her out, said yes, and she stood me up because she tells me that her phone became a paperweight so she was unable to confirm the time for the meetup.
She seems like she wants to know me a bit more. Wanted to talk a bit more. And yet I'm just torn between her excuses and what actually occurred (she wasn't lying). Am I being strung along? Am I projecting my desires on her every action? Was there ever any interest? Did I have a chance? Do I have a chance?
I don't know. Everyone I ask for advice gives me mixed opinions on what to do. "Forget about her." "Give her the benefit of the doubt." All I know is that I don't know. I don't know how she feels about me and I don't know why am so obsessed over her? Am I that starved for affection? Possibly. But I've lived like this most of my life. And yet when I think of her, it annoys me that I feel I must take her now or lose her forever. What utter idiocy.

>>18274811
you'll be alright anon, things are going to work out man

>>18274902
...EMBARRASSING
//
https://youtu.be/QPZ7ltpxWc4

>>18274922
They're a good group, anon. Glad you liked it!

>>18271985
Singapore army?
If it is, dont fucking sign on. Worst mistake of my life

I'm in a really dark place. I have a pretty good idea of what I need to do to get out of it, but it wont be easy. And I just can't find the motivation to do it. Laying down and dying just seems more attractive

What would you guys think of this scenario?

I have a friend, she's now 27, and yes I've fucked her a few times. She did the classic love bombing stuff about how we're so right for each other, and Im so cool, and I've got such cool hobbies, etc, so we should date, but I didn't bite.

The reason I didn't bite is because for the last 2 years, we've been on and off having sex when she has been without a steady boyfriend. She accuses her older bfs of abusing her/raping her, without proof, and everyone tells her she's lying but she insists.

She recently "lost touch somehow" with her last therapist, which I take as code for "he was starting to tell me to shape up and stop being a rotten cunt so I fired him to get a fresh therapist".

This is standard scenario for girls like her. Every time we'd hook up, it'd be 2 weeks of amazing sex and intimacy, and then she'd need 'alone time' which meant totally blowing me off and ghosting. I saw the way she treated her past bfs so I wasn't going to actually commit to her, especially as the condoms she kept for us kept magically disappearing. I've tried to actually be there for her, I've listened to how much she hates people, and how she wishes out loud that her relatives had died instead of surviving suicide attempts, in front of her mother. When she's not a piece of shit human, she's very lovable and seems to care right back.

What put the nail in this coffin of an undead relationship happens to be what I found today. She actively delights in pain and suffering of others. She was talking with a friend or 'friend' online (btw she is telling people she's going to get engaged to a guy she met last week, while we were still fooling around), about how much she likes seeing people hurt although she doesn't like to admit it. They then had a good back and forth convo about how hilarious it was that the guy hurt this horse and he said "yeah, I raped her lol!", and then they laughed about a 4 year old falling out of a moving bus.

Fucking hell man. It's been 9 months. Babies have been conceived and born.

I wish we could talk again. Not about how it ended but just about anything. There's been so much shit going on with politics, youtube drama, music and shows we like etc and I keep thinking "I wonder what J would think about that" EVERY TIME. I miss our long chats so much, even more than I miss your scent or the feel of your lips. I wonder if I met you in some other way, we'd be best friends instead of victims of the laughable failure that was our relationship.

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Might be just me not sleeping for 30 hours, but I feel oddly sad when I see people happy online.
I listened to some podcasts earlier, the usual ones. People were cheery, laughing at memes while talking about video games and other shit. Talking about hilarious stuff, but I started to only feel sad.
People on my twitter feed were mostly happy aside from few crazy folks.

I usually feel good when I see people happy. But not today.

Earlier today I was in my usual discord group too, doing the same shit. Making bad jokes and kind of laughing as per usual, but had to leave because I felt like I died a little inside whenever I spouted out a word.

I guess this is the point where memes and irony no longer work as a way to fight off the bad feels. Now that all that is gone, I don't know whats left. Being genuine I guess, but I can't be. Not around anyone. Even if they would listen, I just can't.

I had one relationship last year that fell apart because of this. Not sad about the girl or anything, she wasn't my type. But then again, nobody is when I can't open up.
I can only be honest when I'm anonymous.

I have a few good online friends that would listen to my pointless bullshit, but I can't open up even to them. It feels so funny, even cheesy when I manage to be so alone even when around people that would understand, that would listen. Like a pit I've dug to myself. How pathetic.

>>18274974
For reference, here's the video:

http://www.cnn.com/videos/us/2017/04/23/4-year-old-falls-from-moving-bus-intv-nr.cnn

This is what they were laughing about.

She's always had a dark sense of humor around me but always reigned it in. I can be pretty dark myself but it has to be either fiction or just too absurd in real life. Not laughing at images of torture.

So anyway, the last time she love bombed me hit me really hard. She was lonely, we had sex again, and then she started going into crisis mode to call a 'savior' and told me not to bother with her because she wasn't worth it. Me being who I am I just picked her up from her house to be there for her, and she told me all about a co-worker shit talking her.

This shit talking apparently shook her world and made her want to self-harm.

So after I 'rescued her from herself', she spent the entire next week love bombing me with constant texts of attention, and at night if we went out she'd tell me about how her mom kept saying "you should marry him, he's always there for you".

Long story short, she said that she felt like dying and if it happened no one would care, so I said that's egotistical of her because she would affect everyone around her by her death.

Anyway, that solved me being the 'savior' because that's when she latched onto this other guy that trades black 'humor' moments with her and laughs about it.

Just recently she got herself to a new shrink, and got a diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder, in order to explain away her feeling abandoned by others, and her lashing out at others, like her mom, her family, etc.

She's obsessed with perceiving herself as a needy, broken individual, but she delights in suffering of others.

And her and the 'friend' she trades 'dead/hurt kid pics' with are both teachers in elementary school level for special ed.

>>18274936
Thank you for that. I'll keep trying my hardest to hold on.

>>18274999
>>18274974

Long story short, I am no longer attracted to her, nor could care if she got hit by a bus. It might actually do the world a favor.

>>18271389
5 year anniversary of someone I was very close to going missing. I think about them every day and even more so recently. I feel like something terrible is going to happen and I'm not ready for it. On the 5 year day I'm thinking about travelling to the site where his car crashed and placing some flowers. I've been stressing about that and finances and school and relationship drama so much that my blood pressure spiked so high yesterday and I nearly passed out a few times and threw up. I'm loosing my goddamn mind.

>>18274811
I went through (still really am) something very very similar. Dropped courses, stepdad up and leaves me and my sick mother who cant work, trying desperately to work as hard as i can to support us and maybe go back to school, dumb bitch of a gf leaving me etc etc.

Just have to take it day by day, and know that hard work will eventually pay off. No matter what happens you can do it Anon. I know it might sound cliche, but i'm convinced we were given these hardships to overcome them and become stronger people. I hope this helps in any way at all, i'm rooting for you anon.

>>18272110
I actually pretend to be upset when people do this. I already know they are going to cancel and I never want to keep the plans myself. It is easy to spot. For some reason I find it entertaining. I don't know what's wrong with me.

I have a random mental illness that docs feel is psychosis but the antipsychotics aren't working as well as I expected.

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You invited me to your birthday party two months from now. You probably will have forgotten about me by then and won't remember to invite me.

I've become way more chubby as the years have passed, I'm the skinniest fattest person ever. I have about two months to get super-ripped if you'd still like me by then.

If not, well, that's okay, I'm going to be at least in shape.

>>18275043
It's not you. Majority of people don't actually like doing things

What the fuck kind of name is Braxton

>>18271605
Amen brother! Fuck all chicks with that name.

>>18274927

Same, man. World can go fuck itself.

When we split the bill something felt off but noone said anything. Looking back I realize that I fucked up the math and ended up leaving $10 less than I owed. Whoever used the card probably had to pick up the rest.
Thankfully this was hanging out with friends and not a real date. Not sure why restaurant bills stress me out so much. It's only 10 dollars but that makes me look so cheap.

I miss you. I wish things could go back to square one so we could avoid all the mistakes we made. Maybe things would've been a whole lot better for the both of us and be somewhere happy. I just hope you find the strength in yourself and not settle for less.

>>18275042
It's comforting to know someone is going through something similar, even if that sounds shitty of me. Thank you for responding anon, it means a lot. I'll be rooting for you too. Hopefully we both get through our hardships and come out on the other end as better people.

>Had same skin problems parents had when they were teenagers
>They refuse to get me treated because of anecdotal bullshit evidence
>Finally move out and see a dermatologist with my own money
>Tells me my skin is completely fucked and there isn't much that can be done
GOD FUCKING DAMN

>>18275183
lmfao

Son, I'm sorry you resent me. I was in a difficult situation, and I did what I thought was best at the time. I'm sorry I turned out to be wrong.

I'm really nervous about tomorrow.

Last day of classes, really cute girl I've been wanting to talk to more/ask out, and I've probably fucked up entirely.

I'm figuring I might as well go all in and ask her out before class to get coffee after class. She's alone then and it'd be my best opportunity.

I've never been on a date before, I've only asked out a girl once before, and I'm not even sure she's going to show up for class since it's the last day. I really hope I don't get fucked over, I just waited way too long. She won't be in classes next semester since she's doing an internship program, so I'm basically fucked unless I manage to get tomorrow to work the way I want it.

Fuck I'm so nervous, this girl's incredibly attractive and I've waited too long. Last week I was gonna do it and then went full autism mode talking to her, I'm hoping it doesn't happen again.

>>18274929
Accidents happen. I'd say give her one more chance and see where it goes. If it happens again, then yeah, forget her. Also, try to take it easy and don't get obsessed. It's just a girl.

i can't let go of the resentment I harbour for you, no matter how hard I try. also, you're getting fat. stop that, please.

>>18274334
How did you go about "curing it" ?

Why do I feel like such a fuck up right now? Like everything I do is wrong, and that people are only humoring me with niceties because they know me.

It's getting hard to just not open up and spill it all out to someone, but everyone expects me to act a certain way. To laugh shit off, never ask for help. Shit like that.

Yet here I am at 2:30 in the morning feeling like I've fucked up everything somehow.

D

I'll soon fulfil my promise to you, the one I've been saying since the first time I met you a few months ago. But once I do that I'm done. I'm so sick of my fucked up pathetic life. I'm a complete failure. I'm an underemployed loser who has a terrible personality, lives at home and a bipolar mess. Hell I was even a virgin until I paid a hooker to fuck me, who eventually even told me to kill myself. I'm so sick of my fucked up life. Two more weeks and I'm done.

K

Why are people suddenly acting like finding 16/17 year olds attractive is pedophilia what the fuck

adults shouldn't date them because they're naive but they're sexually developed it's not strange to find them attractive why are people acting like this

why did you tell me you need time to yourself if youre just going to run to some new guy a month after we break up

you dont need to lie to me, ive been very clear i prefer honesty

if it was something i did or we just cant work out just fucking tell me jesus christ

if youre just going to lie to me, stop trying to contact me and stay friends, you fucking piece of shit scum of earth

I'm writing out a schedule for myself, that I will follow every day
It may be autistic but I am done suppressing who I am, I'm out of reasons to do that
I will learn to function in a world without you
One day I'll learn to be happy
And maybe, just maybe, if we ever cross paths again I'll have found the strength to give myself closure and let you go peacefully
Then maybe I'll finally be free

Oh L. I wish you hadn't ruined everything. I loved you so much. Why did you have to be such a monster. And now you claim you love me and regret everything. You know what I wish the most is that you hadn't done all that. I hope we can be happy sometime

Fucking orbiters.

Is that even a fucking word? When I got into my current job I decided to be more social and friendly but now people won't stop pestering me, I admit that when I have nothing to do it is expected of people to want to talk to pass time so I attend them even if I feel like just browsing fucking 4chan instead of talking to people, but sometimes I have a shitton of work and yet people will just be around talking to me and telling me to look at shit in their phones, fuck sometimes they just fucking stare at whatever the fuck I'm doing in the computer.

Why the fuck won't people leave me alone when I literally tell them I have a lot of work to do, I fucking tell them directly that I have shit to do and that I will probably even have to stay after hours because I don't have enough time yet they don't give a fuck.

>>18275688
>Is that even a fucking word? When I got into my current job I decided to be more social and friendly but now people won't stop pestering me, I admit that when I have nothing to do it is expected of people to want to talk to pass time so I attend them even if I feel like just browsing fucking 4chan instead of talking to people, but sometimes I have a shitton of work and yet people will just be around talking to me and telling me to look at shit in their phones, fuck sometimes they just fucking stare at whatever the fuck I'm doing in the computer.

So you're antisocial disordered and don't value human relationships. If so many people are doing it, and you're the only one bothered, the problem is probably you.

>Fucking orbiters.

Not using that term properly.

Oh god, it's 5 am and I didn't even notice. I shouldn't have taken that nap earlier...

>>18271956
same

>>18273514
fuck off. stop giving mixed signals and make them clearer. We can't guess if you're interested or not.

>REEEEEEEEEE I FUCKING HATE THIS SHIT

>>18275719
I value relationships but there is a difference between talking when you're free or even making a little time to catch-up and taking a fucking hour of my time even when they know I need that fucking hour to do what I am fucking paid to do.

My girlfriend is an alcoholic and I don't know what to do at this point. Nothing seems to help, and I'm becoming increasingly tired of being supportive.

>>18274904
>>18274925
I love you though, just give me one sign that I can still make things right.

>>18275837
By the way, advice is welcome.

>>18276005
>>18275837
Maybe you need to give her an ultimatum. Sober up or you leave.

I really wish he would text me (seeing as how I don't have his number) -- but, I know he won't.

At least I tried.

People always tell don't overthink.
I really don't want to, but I do.

I want to ask a girl out who is in my circle of friends.
I'm not too sure if she's interested in me too, but I just want to give it a try (I'd regret not asking her out more than rejection). Rejection is not a problem for me, I'm totally okay with just staying friends.
Now the problem is, I always think about what would happen if she was taken aback, rejects me and suddenly can't be friends with me anymore just because I signaled interest (this has happened before).
This makes me think more about whether I should ask her out or not and that in turn makes me wonder if I think about her way too much.

Should I just ask her out and not give a shit about all the possible consequences?

(Ignore this)

Broke my intermediate fasting by eating a salad before 10 am and I feel like a fat fuck, but I recognize this is a delusion. Completed a tough leg workout and went up in weight, preformed squats with great form and depth, therefore I deserved that salad. My body needed it and if anything it helped settle my stomach from all that cold medicine.

Somehow writing this out made me feel better.

I think about ending it everyday... its worse on week days when I spend most of my time alone, I have no reason that I can think of... just something in me wants it to end, but I have a family (wife and son that I love so much) but there is just something wrong with me, like right now its took alot not to do something stupid

>>18276050
well, she's always keen on using the phrase "if you love me, you love me in any condition, with all my faults" etc etc etc.

I don't really want to force her, you know, although I've made it extremely clear that I do not support this and that it hurts me. It helped, for a time, and now its the same old same old.

I mean, I'm not supposed to accept something that brings me pain, right?

>>18276104
That's an absolutely stupid phrase that abusive people use to keep their partners in their abusive relationships.
You don't have to accept or go along with a relationship that only brings you pain.

All other things being equal, maybe I prefer being miserable over being happy. Simply for the sense of lording it over others.

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I stress out way too much over grades. It's not even a "pass or fail" kind of worry, but a "A- or a B+" kind of worry. I'd have to literally not show up for my final exams if I wanted to not make the Deans List. Makes me feel a bit pretentious and I hate worrying over it.

>>18276189
my grades are so shit, going to classe makes me feel ashamed

anyone else just slowly letting their life go to shit?

I haven't done laundry in like 4 weeks
my bills are overdue 2 months despite having money in the bank
i hate my job and how I get fired
haven't shaved in 5 months
even when I'm at work, I just post on 4chan and don't get anything done
still have to be here for 8 fucking hours though
weekend is already over
been raining outside

>>18276502
I did. Bad mistake, you might have depression or burnout.

Dakota

I'm tired of having to convince you to stay, to love me, to trust me. I've been in this relationship too, you haven't noticed anything, you've only been selfish. Everything is about you, what you feel, what you think, you have no regard of me or my feelings at all. Yet I love you so much and it's sad that I'm willing to put myself through this every day, I'm just lost and don't know what to do. I wish you were happier, I wish you were motivated, I wish you weren't such a stoner and I wish you didn't go out and drink so much. But that'll never happen, you just continue with the self destructive behaviour and choosing people that don't care about you, isn't that ironic.. Sadly you can't be more mature and you can't change unless you want to. I just really wish things were different. All you do is leave, I just wish you'd just stay once an for all. Stop fucking with me.

>>18275743
>"oh idk anon I think I'm going to be busy soon"

Hint: If she was interested, her answer would be nothing like this, even if she was busy. Girls don't give mixed signals, guys just think a girl talking to them means she wants to fuck them.

There are at least 5 very good, objectively insurmountable reasons why he and I can't ever be together. And there are a couple of legitimate reasons why we should never speak to each other again. I know that.

Yeah, hey, guys, the meeting of the Cool Kid's Club will be at 3:15 leaning up against Tim Bretner's SUV in the parking lot.

you guys think I don't shower, clean up, eat right, and all that other shit because I don't know how? or that it's "important"?

Are you fucking retarded?

I want to fucking die. I truly want to die. I just don't fucking care.

>>18274904
>>18274925
Are you A. M.?

I'm not playing the game anymore. I see your stupid shit everywhere and I'm just ignoring it. If I find my self going down the rabbit hole I pull myself back out. I don't care anymore. None of it fucking matters.

>>18276748
List them.

Im in foggia italy erasmus arrived yesterday geting fucked by everyone and everything. The ontact is offline I already spent 150 euros more than planned. If the contact doesnt respond in 2.5 hours I will have to spend atleast 50 more for a hotel. This was suppposed to be relaxing and im feeling fucking terrified and ive got noone to ask for help because all the fucking people are offline and nobody is respoding. Never felt so fucking helpless before

>>18271961
Yesssss. Let the hatred flow through you desu.

Haha, my gpa is fucked. Goodbye, scholarship--- Hello student loans!

4chan always talks about how dumb women are, and here I am, correcting logic exercises from my male students, and they say the most retarded stuff I've ever read.

Please say sorry, Im sensitive and I hate when you make fun of my insecurities. Just come and say sorry please..

>>18276925
Sorry bitchtits

>>18276930
Thank you, now hug me and lets go to bed

>>18276924
Yeah, the only reason why i come to this board to tell people how stupid they are.

>>18276941
You're welcome and ok just don't put your hair in my face

Well fuck it. This is how we end 10 years, almost 11. We confided so much in each other and I trusted you like no other. Sure we loved each other but our relationship lacked communication and the little we had was poor. I know you blame me for much of what happened at the end, likely including the abortion. I don't really blame you, we were just stupid and made mistakes.

It's been 5 months since broke up and while I still miss and love you, I have to move on. You only reply in small talk and from your responses I can tell you are hesitant to even talk about this. After so much time together and apart, I can still read you like a book. I guess this is just the final chapter. I can't do this anymore, can't play this game.

I bare you no ill will, and while I feel a little hurt and I am improving. I won't lie, I have had some disgusting thoughts about how to handle this mess, the most vicious being me exposing the abortion to you family and watching you burn, but I won't. It's the thoughts of a broken heart and a saddened mind. I care far too much for you to allow those thoughts to bare fruit.

I hope you find happiness, I'm truly sorry I couldn't provide that for you. As for me, I would have been happy with the comfort you gave me, although some more communication between us wouldn't have hurt. And maybe you still do enjoy talking together, or you want me as a friend now, I don't. Small talk is a trash bandaid. So, I will be selfish and walk, because this is no way to live.

All I can say is that I wish you the best. Take of yourself and with much love, goodbye.

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Fuck, J. It's really been almost six months since you left me. Time goes by so fast without you here. When you were by my side I felt like we were together in infinite moments.

I won't lie, I'm not doing so well. You're probably doing a lot better than I am. The other day I heard you posted Snapchat pictures of us at prom, a couple years ago. Why, J? You have a new boyfriend. You got with him a mere two and a half months after leaving me, broke up, and got back together with him. Why when he broke your heart did you long for him back, but not me? Even though you said I made you the happiest you've ever been?

Anyway, I'm sorry I never answered your text two months ago. I just. I can't be your friend, especially while you have a boyfriend. My heart can't take it. While I don't expect for you to reach out to me again, I hope you do.

I think about how much I did for you, even after you left. But you still went back to him. Yet every now and then I hear that you said something online that may hint at still having feelings for me. Do you?

That's the thing. I'd get back together with you in an instant. After all the post breakup lies, the terrible things you said to me, tarnishing my reputation. I forgive you. Because every time I said you were the love of my life, I meant it.

I remember when you left you told me it was "So heartbreaking because you were nearly perfect for me". At least there's that. But I doubt you'll ever be coming back.

Regardless. Thanks for making those sixteen months, the best ones of my life.

- D

I tell myself that I'm conservative and want a traditional family, but tattoos (especially tramp stamps), piercings, dyed hair, big glasses, and leftwing feminist views make my dick rock hard. I don't know why. I wish it wasn't this way. But whenever I see a girl like this on my campus, my boner needs to enter her.

My current girlfriend was actually pretty sweet and normal at first, but I made her more like this over time. I pushed her to get a tat, I told her to get bigger glasses frames, I suggested that she die her hair, etc. She is so much more hot to me, but the hotter she is for my penis, the less I want to marry her.

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I think I may have undiagnosed prostate/colon cancer.

I haven't been to a doctor. I'm too scared to. I keep getting weaker, and more tired. I piss 5 times an hour and cant stay awake past 11 like I used to

I'm only 20. This is so unfair. I hope I'm wrong.

>>18277036
do you think this has to do with your weight?

if no then try seeing a doctor if you're able to, or go an emergency clinic if your local area has one.
Try drink one cup of water before going to sleep about 30 minutes before. After you wake up, before going bathroom, etc. You get it, right?

Try not stressing over it, if you stress over it more, it's not helping.

I hope it's something small instead!

>>18277036
Homie, don't play yourself. The sooner you get to a doctor, the sooner you can get help and the bigger your chances of recovery in the worst case scenario. Cancer doesn't fuck around.

>>18277036
dude those symptoms sound exactly like undiagnosed diabetes. go to a doctor asap and get your blood sugar checked.

>>18277100
Well shit. My dad's diabetic.

>>18277100
You scared me, honestly.

I looked up symptoms of Diabetes. I have all of these.

>numbness in hands and feet
>throwing up constantly
>tired
>frequent urination
Shit. I think I have diabetes.

Fuck.

How is that possible? My brother is twice my weight and eats fast food garbage all the time.

I eat right and exercise regularly. Why me?

>>18277069
You cant be friends with her. Ghost her, focus on her flaws, and on improving yourself. Its going to take months to recover and any contact you make, even if you just look at her facebook profile, will set back your progress.

>>18277069
She's just keeping you around until someone better notices her you retard, let her go.

You're a cuck with zero dignity if you let her play you like this.

>>18276709
>guys just think a girl talking to them means she wants to fuck them.

You cant possibly be this dense.

>>18277107
there are two types of diabetes. type 2 is what old and fat people mostly get (insuline resistance).
type 1 can happen at any age. it occurs faster the younger you are. if you have type 1 diabetes, your body destroys the cells that produce insuline, which is the hormone that allows your body to use the sugar you intake. no insuline = way too much sugar in your blood and way less energy. at your age, the symptoms probably occured weeks/1-3 months ago.
type 1 diabetes is an autoimmune disease, which means it's basically "bad luck" and can hit everyone.

if you really think you have it, it's important to see a doctor soon. the longer you ignore the symptons, the worse it gets until you fall unconcious from exhaustion/too high blood sugar (but that takes A LOT, so don't be too scared).

sorry if it turns out to be true :/.

Do I have a kid or not? Is it actually mine?

Keeping things from me just to boost the entertainment value is fucked up beyond belief. I wouldn't even be surprised at this point if the pregnancy was artifical. That you guys saved the condoms I used just to make a baby of me.

I don't want to be with R. I don't want to be with I. I don't want to be with V. For all I know... they are all dead. Literally.

I don't get it
why do all the good times we shared and all the things I did to make you happy mean nothing to you?
Do you really hate me so much that the life you lead now is preferable to the life I offered you?
How else am I supposed to take your actions?

>>18277123
Thanks for the heads up anon. It was the kind of wake up call I needed.

I'm not fat, or old, so it's likely type 1. Whatever that means I guess.

Fuck, I hope it's nothing.

>>18277110
>>18277108
Lmao, pussy got upset and deleted his post.

>>18277134
you said your father is diabetic? ask him to measure your blood sugar then. if it's off the charts, or even twice as high as normal, that's a guarantee for diabetes.

>>18277149
I would but unfortunately he decided he was bored with being a dad when I graduated. He barely talks to me and won't answer the phone/texts. He also never gave me his new address. So unfortunately, I'll be receiving no support from him.

>>18274112
You hate cheesy nice guys but it's not why you lose interest. You seem smart and they are dumb, even though you are smart you see it as something normal but the truth is that they are dumb and you might have some esteem issues. I'm not trying to sound like I have you all figured out but I've met people with issues similar to this and my guesses might be right.

>>18277130
worse...

You tell me I have only 10 years left to live. So you give me a kid, only to have his/her parent turn into a vegetable before they are a teen.

Not to even mention the fact you guys have fucking been psychologically torturing me for 30 years. I'm in no place to raise a child. I'm a wreck of a person, far worse than people here can even imagine. That just seems like a terrible idea.

But I'll do it if it's really my child. It's incredibly fucked up that you hid this from me on purpose though. I know the kid in that photo isn't mine. The only reason I thought so was because she looked like my mother but it turns out that my mother isn't my biological mother so that's out the window. It does, however, look 100% identical to the baby pictures of my cousin... who would have that connection.

I wish you guys would get this over with.

>>18277138
I actually deleted them because she started messaging me about another thread on /adv/ and I was not fuckin' gonna risk her seeing those posts. You lose.

>>18277162
>implying someone didn't screencap it for cringe threads

Can't find a girl I'm too picky like I'm james dean but in reality no girl wants me most probably because i take everything as a joke and mesd around like a degenerate clown who is sorta handsome but not enough to cover up the rest of shitty traits. It's been so long i forgot how to approach a girl and only uglies approach me
Just want some sincere fuck once in a while

>>18277154
then I'd advise you to visit a doctor ASAP. like, the next thing you should do is visit a doctor.
even if you don't have diabetes, your symptoms sound really bad and should examined.

>>18277162
What a cuck. Geeze.

>>18277162
What a pussy-cuck.

You're being used, disrespected and you still cling to her, lmao.

This is like first hole syndrome taken to the extreme.

Great, the kid is retarded now too because Iris fucking drank the entire time.

So not only am I getting a surprise kid, the mother fucking ruined her.

Thanks for keeping that from me for years assholes.

I'm fucking tired of being alone and being ignored.
I get it that it's my responsibility but honestly when I hang out with people they act all chill and I feel a connection, as if I'm wanted. But after that moment I'm already again forgotten.
I've never had facebook conversations all the time, or text messages with close friends constantly like I see other people having.
I'm tired of this. I want to feel a connection. I want to have someone to talk about my day with and unburden myself of the shit I see. I want to be able to not feel so stressed out and alone like I do everyday when I come home from work.
I want to be like M. She has everything I wish I had, close friends, a cool group to talk to all the time, a cousin she feels safe with.
I have none of that. I want that. That group, that feeling of belonging.
I feel sad and hopeless and stressed over nothing, because I get obsessed over things since I have no one to talk to. The real stressful things are still there, but since I can't do anything about them, the stress starts to leak to the other stuff in my everyday life.
I just want to feel calm and at ease. To feel content. To not feel this overbearing and crushing lack of meaning in my work and life, as if I have taken all the wrong decisions.
I know I didn't exactly pick what I wanted from the start but that wouldn't secure me the life I have now. I'm better off this way and I need to feel it, otherwise it's all a waste and I might as well just end everything and go live in the woods alone or even kill myself.
I don't want a girlfriend. I want a friend.

I seriously will just be resentful of this kid. KNOWING that it's existence fucking is a product of you fucking pieces of shit manipulating my life for your enjoyment. You manufactured all of this and I'm the one getting fucked over again and again and again.

>>18277176
not him

what's first hole syndrome? Google just brings up a bunch of heart stuff

I never thought I'd ever say this in my entire life, but if I could go back in time and prevent myself from making our paths cross I'd do it, because it clearly seemed to bother you so much. If my happiness is at the cost of yours, I don't want any of it.

It's not completely my fault though...all I wanted was to tell you you were cute. Why did you let me enter your life, why did you tell me all those personal things, why did you share such intimate moments with me, why did you reciprocate my feelings if you were to eventually leave me because of some mysterious insecurity you're facing?

Such a shame how much I miss you.

How the fuck would you guys feel if you had a kid with someone that just cheated on you, hid it from you, then proceeded to do dumb shit while pregnant, give birth, then KEEP HIDING IT FROM YOU...

just because it's entertaining?

That you had no say at-fucking-all for how it was taken care of during the pregnancy, that you fucking asked her if she was pregnant, she denied it.

I swear to god if this is true I'm going to kill myself. Hiding something like this just for your entertainment is too much. Fuck all of you.

>>18277224
I'll come back
I just need time

I've been dating the same guy for 6+ years. I loved him with all my heart.

About couple of months ago, he broke up with me. He said, he's uncomfortable and found another girl that makes him feel loved and wanted. It got me confused tho. We were best-friend, we shared everything, and we never fight longer than a day. I really don't know what went wrong..

His family loves me, my family loves me. And to be honest, we were supposed to be engaged this year.

The woman he fell in love with is my childhood friend. We weren't that close, but we talk regularly. And of course, she's everywhere in my social media. Until today, it hurts me to see him wandering around that girl.

It hurts to see them happy. She's way prettier, more stable job, and HOT. Recently, he also got the job that I wanted, with big salary. I am sorry, but I want either one of them dead.

I cried for months. I don't think I am in love anymore, but my heart still ache until now. And my question is, does time really heal? and how much longer? Does karma exist (even though they are very happy right now, and prolly for a long time)

His family loves me. We still go out for lunch together almost every-week until now (without him of course). And it's been months but he always dodge his family's "ok so who's your GF" question. Does it mean something? (I am just curious, not that I am willing to get back together).


P.S. I am sorry for being such a sore-loser

>>18277224
Just ask her out properly?

I really, really wish I hadn't slept in his room.
It was so fucking selfish of me no matter what happened and I can't fucking believe I didn't think of your feelings. And now he's probably making matters worse with his naïveté and making shit hit the fan for you and I really hope you have someone to talk to tonight and this whole week.

I'm trying to be fucking reasonable and not shut myself out of the group as an easy way to atone but I don't know how much distance is inconspicuous and just how fucking ridiculous I can get.
I'm trying as hard as I can to not make this about myself right now but fuck, I don't want this year to end like this, with this, for any of us. He doesn't realize just how fucking serious this is and I can't even bring myself to resent him for it, that's how deep this is

>>18277186
being overly attached to the first person you fuck, because they were the first person you fucked

I fucking hate all of you for fucking playing with my life like it's a fucking game.

>>18277236
Time doesn't heal. It just makes it easier. And it takes a long time.
He's avoiding his family's question because he knows his family will chase him. What he did is clearly not right and both you and they know it.
I say fuck him. He sounds like a complete jackass, forget about him.

>>18277235
!

>>18277238
I had asked them out, we were saying each other briefly and then they suddenly turned and ended it all. If things can't work out that way, I understand, but its v sad that we cant even look each other in the eye anymore. I've done all I can...

>>18277236
You won't and shouldn't get back together
They'll probably end up breaking up
Yep time heals
u sound so sweet honestly hope you forget it all soon and find someone or just be content with urself habibi

I fucking wish I'd done things properly with her and actually initiated a proper relationship.

Now some other guy took her and I'm just sitting here feeling fucking helpless and dumb for taking her for granted and working out almost non-stop for the last 3 days just to take my mind off her. My appetite is gone as well.

>>18277252
I guess I have first hole syndrome too.

I love you so much I guess it's messed up any possible friendship we could have. I need you, though.

I cheated on my girlfriend a month after we got back together with a girl I have been speaking to online, still with current gf but I think Im in love both the girls and don't know if it's a car of the grass is greener and if I should break up w/ gf

M
You're fucked up. You're angry, depressed, unmotivated and annoyed by life.
You're unreachable, and probably terrified by the thought of someone actually getting to know you. You hide yourself under the mask of the always charming, funny guy who doesn't give a shit but deep down you're just a huge pile of shit, and even very sensitive about the huge pile of shit you are.
I know this all. I've known since the very first time we talked, and you just proved me day after day for the last years.
And I love you. I love you so desperately. I love you with every fucking bit of my soul, to the point it aches me to not touch your skin or kiss your shoulders. I love you more than I thought it was possible and I don't even care if loving you makes me unhappy, because I cannot imagine a way to stop loving you.
You're an asshole. I wish I was there.
Yours, forever
Y

>>18277115
You see it on this board all the time dude. If it offends you because you think I'm talking about you, I didn't mean literally all guys.

>>18277115
That's because outside of work, school, you know priorities. Men don't talk to women wanting to be just friends. Nope, it's about banging. Simple as that. Even when a guy says otherwise, it's still wanting to bang.

>>18276709
Yeah it's a shit excuse of a reply, still though.
If chicks hate being hit on that much, at least put it clearly that they don't want to date, as simple as that, nothing wrong with it actually.
"I think I'm going to be busy" just means exactly that and if you're surprised the guy is still chasing you and trying, you're a retard. I'm sorry but that's as far as I'll go.

File: 1412796989839.gif (191KB, 400x200px) Image search: [Google]

191KB, 400x200px

I crave my childhood again, im feeling so homesick i feel like i wont be able to express this feeling properly

i miss days coming home with easy homework, and loads of energy. after homework i would play my gamecube, super mario sunshine, animal crossing, all night until my parents made me go to bed at 10, then i turned on my tv in my room and watched nick at nite and toonami, and adult swim.

I miss days in elementary school playgrounds, with our poverty level school, fucking shit was falling apart to the point that my teachers had to purchase new equipment themselves

hell even in middle school, id come back home, start up halo 2 on my xbox, get into a custom game and screw around with friends, same with halo 3 when it released.

I miss having limits on the number of games i owned, my parents could only buy a few titles a year for me
im a game collector now, but only because i can afford it, the problem is that i barely play the games i buy.

Im thankful for my parents being there, but they most certainly dont want me in college, and buying video games and dicking around all day every day like i have been forever. fuck its been 4 years since i started my bachelors, its gonna be like 3 more years before im done. shit man i just want to be dont already.

now im procrastinating, supposed to be studying for finals tomorrow, but something has me in a nostalgia mood

i want to be the know it all, A.D.D. motherfucker that i was years ago, now i feel so hollow, so empty, a shell of my former self.

i feel like ive created a mask of personality features and quirks that is an aproximation of who i am now, and who i used to be, BUt i feel that something isnt right with me.

I need a major change.

i feel like i need to clean myself up, quit the weed, quit the alchohol, and just be myself again.

only problem is i know ill be smoking and drinking soon. idk, ive never drank habitually, but ive smoked everyday for about 2 months, since then my smoking has been infrequent.

>>18271389

I hope you know that I never fucking loved you you ugly piece of shit

Daisy, if I find you out there in the streets then better run your fat nasty ass before I kick your jaw to pieces. You deserve everything bad that happened to your pathetic life you fat sow.

>>18277537
>>18277327
>>18277319
>>18277305
Here is to me never falling for the human emotion meme and writing up some gay ass shit like this, have some self respect you slobs

>>18277537
Why were you with someone you weren't attracted to? Doesn't make much sense unless you admittedly have severely low standards

>>18277587
Piss off you cunt, trying to make yourself feel superior by posting the exact same-tier cringe shit.
Pathetic cuck.

Why life just sucks
I just need self-esteem
But i can't

I thought I could handle my mothers death a few weeks ago, but now I feel the pain rising in my chest every now and then. Fuck cancer.

https://youtu.be/ijKsvC8BrTY

Why are some people just not champs?

Should I encourage them to be champs like me or will that just encourage unwanted competition?

are you guys saying I have HIV?

That I was born with it?

What the fuck? Why didn't anyone fucking tell me?

>>18277751
You should crave competition to keep yourself from falling off

Your toilet paper is fucking moldy, man. I know I'll be fine but I hope I don't get some sorta vag infection.

>Hold onto old immunization record book for years
>Never need to use it for anything
>Now I need to prove some immunizations for grad school
>Can't fucking find it
>No idea if I even still have it
FML

>>18275314
Thanks man. I know I shouldn't be so hung over a girl but I can't seem to help it. Will ask her again.

>>18277107
you have diabetes my dude. treatable and lots of support. get yourself to a doctor and start feeling good again so you can enjoy shit. good luck anon.

>>18271821
if you really don't want a hangover drink Pedialyte/hydralyte(mix it with water). it'll save you some real headaches my man.

I'm a very lonely person. I've lived a very lonely life for as long as I can remember. The last time I spent time with another human being and kept a long term connection was over 10 years ago and I am now 28 turning 29. The thought of giving up has only been growing after 2 suicide attempts. I can't build long term connections with people because of my mental health and my lack of trust towards people and for good reason.

I don't know what else to do but slowly fade away and it makes me extremely depressed.

>wakes up.
>Touches own rock hard member.
>Touches some more till volcanic eruption.
>Cleans with tissue
>Feels blank for next few seconds.
>goes back to sleep, thinking FML
> Tfw does this every morning.

>>18277263
What exactly was "clearly not right" about what he did? He broke up with her properly without cheating on her for all we can tell from her story which clearly is right.

I feel like i am losing sense in reality. Everything i did has lost its meaning. It feels like something is going to happen. Finals are coming and i cant concentrate.

Am i mad? Is any of you guys feel the same way? Is there any way out of this weird feeling?

https://youtu.be/LmjULo3572c

I love her. But everything about it is fucked up. Story of my life... I'm so tired of this bullshit.

Just end this already, will you? I know it's a bunch of fucked up shit happening all around me, people lying, cheating, betraying, being selfish, whatever. I know for a fact the baby in the picture isn't mine, that's why my aunt is watching it. It's my cousins. I have the feeling the new pregnancy with my ex is from my "dad."

So... whatever. Just end it.

I don't want any kids right now. I've just learned my entire life has been a complete lie, everyone I have ever known has been both fake and betrayed me, and you have been psychologically torturing me my entire life... and 1000x more recently. It would be like giving a soldier straight from the trenches a child. This isn't "oops, accidental pregos!" It's far far worse.

I know you guys did all of this on purpose. It's part of the "drama" of the show.

Just fuck off and end it already. I want to be able to see a doctor, I want to see a real psychiatrist, and I want to be able to function again. You're pushing me too hard, and I was already suicidal before this began.

>>18277263
>And it takes a long time
I guess I'll just have to endure. Yes, I am trying my best to forget him. Thank you so much. I hope you have a nice day, Anon.

>>18277992
>He broke up with her properly without cheating on her for all we can tell from her story which clearly is right.

True, my ex said it that way. But recently, some of his friends told me that he chase her before we broke up. And I personally think, it is weird the way he avoids the question.

>>18277281
I spent months trying to figure out what went wrong. I can't help but blame myself over everything (although I am better now). Thank you, thank you for your kind words. It means a lot.

i wish i could hug you

Goddamn is closure a motherfucking bitch.
I don't need it, I desperately want it. I keep looking for it. See it daily sometimes.

I'll be alright without it.
Just 2 more months.

>>18278119
The way out is A : don't think about it and just do it
B : Think about your life as the main thing you should be worried about right now, forget about the whole my 'life is just small time event that won't matter' Try to imagine life as stages that require tasks to progress you to the next stage, for example, do good in finals to improve your chances of getting a job to make a living, focus on that right now, and when the next stage comes you plan that one out

It hurts just thinking about how i'll never get to talk to you. I want to cry but i can't

Whenever I go out, I feel alone. My friends and family can't help me with this feeling anymore.

I wish I had someone to talk to, someone who cared about me. I wish I had a companion of my own, because I don't know how much longer I can handle this loneliness