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>be me 18 year old grill
>attractive, but literal social autism without drugs/alcohol as a lubricant
>social anxiety disorder, narcolepsy and depression for 5 years
>can hardly speak in front of people other than my family sober
>do fine speaking in school situations, but in social situations it's just a flop
>always flake out on plans if there's not going to be weed or alcohol
>take benzos to even make it to wherever i'm going
>made plans to go over to a dudes house tonight since his mom is on vacation
>planned on drinking, but asked me if edibles were fine
>said yes but then retracted that because i have a city job interview monday and a drug test is inevitable
>can't buy alcohol now, because the US is autistic and didn't set the drinking age at 18 like everywhere else
>90 percent sure i'm going to flake, because sober i'm way too painfully nervous and i'll be shaking like a leaf the whole time and have a bad time on top of that
>never feel like i have "fun" in social situations without it because i overthink every little thing i say and do
>way too rigid and awkward without anything
>always get scared about falling asleep too but i never seem to have an uncontrollable urge to sleep when i drink/smoke
basically, is this a big problem? if so, how do i overcome it so i can enjoy myself and be social without any kind of lubricant? please no negative comments, i'm just trying to figure out how to get rid of my crippling social autism
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Yep, long term this will be a problem. Try to spend the odd night not getting high then do it more till the reliance fades out. It may seem hard but its just a muscle that needs building and you'll get there in time.
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>>18270963
>if so, how do i overcome it so i can enjoy myself and be social without any kind of lubricant?
exposure. "just" do it and after N times you will get over it. OR maybe it is just not for you? you dont have to like certain events/activites, thats fine.
also get a hobby
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>>18271020
what sucks is i do have hobbies... but they're ones that don't involve many people like beekeeping and playing the violin... but thanks i think i'm going to try to keep inserting myself into uncomfortable situations until the anxiety hopefully goes away or gets better
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You need to jump in the deep end, not necessarily alone but it's better alone.
What I've experienced and seen work is just to kinda push yourself over sometimes to challenge yourself.
Do something where you have to talk to people. Studying abroad or work away is a good starting point.
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POST PIC
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>>18270963
Kill yourself, degenerate slut. Nothing of value would be lost if another junkie was dead.
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>>18270963
i love you
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