My friend is cheating on her bf with my other friend

>>18269498

Amy is a sexist asshole, and Stella is fucking thirsty. Let them destroy eachother, and if you have any shred of either hard proof or if your word carries any weight then I wouldn't hesitate to bring it up.

Fuck both of them, they're clearly made for eachother

>>18269498
The responses you get are probably going to be split about 50:50 between people saying "tell him, he has a right to know" and "none of your business, stay out of it."

Ultimately we can't decide for you, you have to follow your conscience. I know that's not useful advice but that's what it's gonna boil down to.

For what it's worth, I think you should tell him - cheating is shitty, and as for minding your own business, that ship has sailed. They made it your business when they did it in your fucking house. And as far as I'm concerned, you never, ever have an obligation to lie for anyone, even by omission. So I say tell the poor guy.

But understand that if you do, you're going to lose friends.

>>18269503
They're my only friends. I don't want to lose them, despite them being shitty because I'm introverted and awkward and don't know how to make my own friends.

>>18269498

If she doesn't believe she's done anything wrong, then she'll have no problem with her boyfriend finding out.

I agree on the trying to avoid drama part, however, this is a chance to screw over someone dumb enough to listen to an SJW. Besides, you can avoid drama all you want but eventually it finds you. Trust me on that one.

Do the right thing.
If this bitch continues to see that SJW bitch behind his back, it'll end up like 100 stories I've heard before from divorce men;
>guy meets girl.
>She's nice.
>Meets bitter hag.
>Becomes not nice.
>Every time they've ever had sex, it's less "something we did together for fun" an more like "Something she did for him and now he owes her".
>She goes full SJW and goes on some campaign of hatred against him solely because he has a dick.

It's better he finds out sooner, rather than later.

Maybe you should date Amy's bf. You seem levelheaded and decent.

>>18269505

Playing off of this, if they have no remorse for their actions or how they could hurt the bf then they're not worth keeping.

Think about it. If Amy is willing to do this to her intimate partner without a shred of guilt then how do you think she treats other people. She disrepected you by cheating under your roof, and she went for Stella /accepted advances for purely selfish reasons. There is no other way around it. What she did was a breach of trust, and if she doesn't even acknowledge that it was a shitty thing to do then she's not worth keeping around, because she'd only cause you more trouble in the long run.

That's just my 2 cents however

OP here, I don't really know how to make friends. We've always been together since we were 6, and are each other's main group. We just developed into different people. Amy is "wild" and likes parties and drinking, Stella is an SJW type and I'm just a quiet bookish introvert who likes playing video games and music etc.
I don't know what I'd do without them though, and don't want to lose their friendship, even if it's not working very well anymore.

>>18269506

You seem like a decent enough guy, and the only wedge you drive between yourself and others is rooted in a self-applied stage fright. Just saying "I'm shy and awkward" is one of the first ways to push others to perceive you that way.

Breathe, keep in mind most everyone feels equally shy but just expresses/handles that differently, and you'll be fine. When you reinforce a negative self-perception you dig a deeper hole of insecurity and negativity. When you project those insecurities you scare away potential friends, and that only reinforces your insecurities and deepens the hole.

Start small, and go from there. Try to stay friends with the bf if you tell him, especially if the dykes end up pissed off and ditching both of you

>>18269520
>You seem like a decent enough guy, and the only wedge you drive between yourself and others is rooted in a self-applied stage fright. Just saying "I'm shy and awkward" is one of the first ways to push others to perceive you that way.
I'm another girl, actually. But thanks for the advice.

>>18269498
MMm it seems your reason for not telling him is essentially selfish, you don't want to lose them as friends. Is that a good enough reason to keep the secret? And also, can you really call yourself his friend if you withhold this from him?

>>18269524
>Is that a good enough reason to keep the secret?
It's not just that. I also just don't like getting involved in other people's lives like that.

>>18269514

I'm >>18269508

Mate, sometimes having no company is better than having bad company.

Are you really going to keep untrustworthy people around just to avoid loneliness?

You can always make more friends, even if it is difficult. Getting into gaming communities or things related to your hobbies, you can find an in-group.
You cannot however, undo being backstabbed.

I'm going to assume you're a girl here, what happens if you get a boyfriend, and maybe, maybe these girls (who you know don't give a shit about anyone but themselves) seem to get on a bit to well with him?

I get it. Doing the right thing conflicts with doing what's best for you in the short term.

You're just going to have to think this one over and decide for yourself.

>>18269528
>I'm going to assume you're a girl here, what happens if you get a boyfriend, and maybe, maybe these girls (who you know don't give a shit about anyone but themselves) seem to get on a bit to well with him?
I, never thought of that. But it's certainly something Amy would be capable of.

>>18269514
While I get this, and I have very few friends myself (just one right now), I just wouldn't be able to be around someone who I know is this shitty. Moreover, if you value your friends, there is a friend in all this that did nothing wrong and you value.

>I'm just a quiet bookish introvert who likes playing video games and music etc.
I know you don't want to hear this, but there's nothing wrong with that. You will naturally have less friends because you're an introvert, but you can still make friends and it's not the end of the world if you don't.

>>18269505
This.

I personally take the midset of "not my battle," but you aren't wrong for interveneing. It IS cheating even if it is with a girl. These chicks need lessons in basic human decency.

Ultimately my choice would be to say nothing and cut them both out of my livea. But I am speaking as someone with my very specific life experiences and background. You are not the bad guy no matter what you do.

I encourage you to cut these two girls out of your life, however, no matter how hard it may be.

You will hurt for a while, but their behaviour is not condusive to the healthy, honest, and honorable life I know you want to lead.

>>18269522

>I'm a girl actually

Pardon me, you seem like a level headed individual. The first step to building a properly rooted relationship with another person comes from finding and establishing common ground. If this seems difficult to achieve through friends of friends then a social group or club is a good way to go, as the excuse for gettinv together is common ground enough to form relationships. If you like books find a book club.

This may sound sexist, but you'll find yourself intuitively having an easier time with the groundwork as girls have inherent social value in communities. The downside being that you're required to nurture your relationships with a bit more attention to detail especially when dealing with the opposite sex to avoid giving anyone the wrong idea. It's easier said than done but I wish you the best of luck in those matters. Every step gets you closer to your goals even if you're falling forward

>>18269527
Okay, but can you really call yourself his friend?

>>18269536
Well, thank you for the advice. I'll try a book club maybe.

>>18269538
>Okay, but can you really call yourself his friend?
I'm not his friend in the first place. He's my friend's boyfriend-I've met him a couple of times, but he's not a friend anyway. I just think he's a decent guy and deserves better.

>>18269538
She can, simply because none of us have the predictive capacity to estimate what would cause the least amount of suffering for all parties involved.

OP, what you should be asking yourself is if these girls are the kind of people whom you want to have a (friendly)relationship with? This is the hard problem. Whatever the answer is, it won't reveal whether you should remain silent as to their conduct, but it will certainly make you feel at peace with whatever you decide.

>>18269536
>Pardon me, you seem like a level headed individual
What a tone of surprise. Decent, logical and levelheaded girls do exist. They're just really rare. IMO Amy's bf would be better off with OP.

>>18269549
>OP, what you should be asking yourself is if these girls are the kind of people whom you want to have a (friendly)relationship with?
To be honest we've only just moved to a city for university. These girls have been my friends since forever, but as I said above, because of that we've become very different people. I want to make new friends anyway, ones who are more like me and less, well, bitchy.

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>I confronted them about it and Amy thinks that it doesn't count if it's a girl and not a guy.
Then she wouldn't be fucking hiding it. If she thought it was ok she'd let her bf know. Even if we try to argue that it isn't cheating, she damn well knows she'd be dumped over it.

>Stella, for her part, is a bit of an SJW and hates men, and thinks he deserves it.
What the flying fuck?
Why on Gods green earth are you friends with a retard who blames a man for being cheated on. This isn't a "bit of an SJW", this is rules for radicals tier bullshit. Jesus christ I'm an introvert with only one solid real life friend and I'd ditch them in a heartbeat if I was ever in a situation half as stupid as this.

It doesn't matter if he's your friend or not, he's being rammed up the ass by someone you're pretending is your friend solely because you're lonely. It's straight disgusting. You should just tell him, cut them out, and actually join a club or something and make friends with an actual moral backbone.

>>18269555
I'm friends with these girls because we've been friends since we were small children, and it's habit. We just grew up to be very, very different.

>>18269560
>and it's habit.
Then break it.

You're pussy footing around it but you clearly understand this situation is fucked up. I'd have to ask if they're actually decent friends if they're willing to lie and perform these kinds of mental gymnastics. Call me a moralfag but I'd rather have to go out and try to make new friends than socialize with these kinds of people.

>>18269560

They tell you that you'll lose 95% of the friends you knew in highschool but they never tell you it's for good reason.

You may have known or even enjoyed growing up with these people but they're a new personality nested in a evermolting body. The friends you grew up with are dead and so are you, and there's nothing wrong with that. Honor the dead, bury them, move on. These adults are anything but mature, and their toxic behavior will rub off on you in ways you can't imagine, even if you don't overtly act like them. Integrity is important, and the fact that you're questioning whether their behavior is worth ditching them over means that you've still got some and that you most likely already know what you think is the right course of action.

If you excuse or ignore their behavior now, your perception of reality will alter to find their behavior acceptable atleast subconsciously. This will damage your integrity and bite away at your soul

>>18269514
if they're being horrible people, better tell them, have a chance for it to go awry but also a chance of redemption than pretending there's no problem and ending with two horrible friends

>>18269573
this this this

>>18269498
Not your problem, let them go through their hurricane while you just watch from the side.

>>18269560
No you didn't grow up differently because you will keep your mouth shut to preserve the friendship.

>>18269609
>No you didn't grow up differently because you will keep your mouth shut to preserve the friendship.
Don't assume about what I will do. I came here for a second opinion as I had no one else, and I will take the consensus advice and tell him. If you'd read any of the thread you'd see that I have major misgivings about this whole friendship thing anyway. I just don't have anyone else.

If cheating with a girl doesn't count, why not be open about it?

>>18269612
hey, /adv/ bias is predictable and so is the anti-silence consensus. there is no right answer. whatever you do, think about where you stand in relation to these people and your decision, whatever it may be, won't weigh as much. also, let them know where you stand in relation to what they did once more, irrespective of whether you let the guy know or not.

Is Amy's bf chill? Personally I wouldn't care if my girlfriend slept with another girl. Don't know why but it's true. Some other guys will care. They've probably fucked many times if they're as close as you say. Because of that I say tell him if he seems like he wouldn't care. If he would, then don't, but only because of your lonely self-interests and since I don't really consider that cheating even though she's hiding it.

>>18269626
>Tell him if he wouldn't care
>Don't tell him if it's something he'd want to know
Son, this advice is what we in the business call "bass-ackwards."

>>18269626
Amy's bf is very, very in love with her, and has old fashioned ideas of monogamy and loyalty. She even boasted about it when they started dating. He hasn't slept with many people at all. He's what /r9k/ tends to call a nice guy, except he's genuinely nice. So he would care.

>>18269612
I read the whole thread and I got from you excuses. If you truly were different crossing the line like this would be a no brainer and you would leave the friendship. I understand the difficulty of taking it further and telling the bf but again if you were really different than your friends you wouldn't be here.

>>18269638
Dude, she's not the one cheating. She's just a confused and lonely girl who wants to do the right thing but doesn't want to be totally alone. I've been like her.

>>18269626
>Is Amy's bf chill? Personally I wouldn't care if my girlfriend slept with another girl.
You're a fucking idiot. If he didn't mind
-She wouldnt be afraid of him knowing, and this entire thread would be moot
-The dyke wouldnt have delusions about how he deserved it

Use your brain for once.

>>18269638
I'm going to tell him. I was also confused as to whether he'd WANT me to tell him.

>>18269647
I sure hope you don't try to continue friendship with these kinds of people after that. Join a club or something and meet decent people instead.

>>18269644
I know, I read the thread and not blaming her for her friend cheating on her bf. What I caution is a compromise of this magnitude just to keep two really shitty people in her life it too much and leads me to question is she really any different. It's fucking hard to be a person with principles and easy to be shitty.

>>18269634
If he's anything like r9k I'm going to agree with Stella on him deserving it. But by you not telling him you are kind of cheating on him too as a friend. Just let things be, he sounds like he was destined to be cucked especially if Amy is "wild" and he's old fashioned

>>18269655
>If he's anything like r9k I'm going to agree with Stella on him deserving it.
I said it sarcastically, he's not like that. And I use traditional facetiously, because he really just believes that you should be faithful to your partner.

>>18269647
I'm sure people do exist who'd prefer not to be told, but they're few and far between. I think the vast majority of people would like to be told, even if it hurts.

And don't listen to the dude who's giving you shit. I honestly don't know what his problem is but you're dealing with a tough situation with more integrity than most people would have.

>>18269655
>If he's anything like r9k I'm going to agree with Stella on him deserving it.
>He's what /r9k/ tends to call a nice guy, except he's genuinely nice.
>except he's genuinely nice.

Really hard to follow aint it?

>>18269647
I wasn't even advocating you tell the bf and its likely he'll be crushed but will not break up with her. You have no control over his reaction. No matter if you tell him or not if you are as principled as you say the friendship is over.

>>18269665
Then so be it. If anything, this thread has been impetus for me to realise I need out of these toxic friendships.

>>18269661
I'm not giving her shit but asking simply does she really have the balls to be the type person she professes to be.

General rule of thumb for life: Disassociate yourself from shitty people to as great an extent as possible.

It's not just that their treatment of Amy's boyfriend is shit, it's that they're both so willing to make absolutely absurd rationalizations, and they're showing a lack of respect to you by using you for cover to hide their behavior.

I think you're foolish for using "I've known them for a long time" as a reason to keep a friendship with such self-centered assholes. You know Amy is willing to do wrong to someone she supposedly cares about. What makes you think you're so special that you'll be exempt from that?

But whatever.

You may not be sure you want to tell the boyfriend, but you sure as hell know you don't want them hooking up at your place. So tell them that.

>>18269667
Eh, I always wonder how many of the people on here ever do the things they promise to do. In her case I do actually believe she's going to - seems like she has a good head on her shoulders.

It's a shame I have to write this, but I probably do - I'm not sticking up for her because she's a girl. Having spent way too much time on here, honestly I think she deserves a certain amount of credit for actually listening to the advice she's gotten and even attempting to do the right thing, as opposed to most of the folks on here, who know what they want to do before they even start the thread and then throw a hissy fit when people don't tell them exactly what they want to hear.

I'm not trying to argue, really - just making conversation at this point. Seems like this thread has run its course and she's mostly decided what to do.

I just want to point out how bad Stella's thinking is. She factually hates billions of more people on earth than hitler did. For no logical reason. And she sees nothing wrong with this.

Have you ever heard about not hanging around people who are a bad influence? It's ok that you're shy and all that. There are resources online that teach people how to get out of their shell and get socially competent. Just start learning from those in your spare time. Identifying the reasons behind your issues in making friends and solving them. You can do it.

I've been there done that with bad friends. You want to hang out with reasonable considerate loving supportive friends. You can still be a friend to your old friends if you want to be. But go find some better people. See the thing is when you hang out with other socially awkward people you don't get better at socializing. Socially competent friends will pull you out of your shell and make you feel comfortable talking to them even if you're shy. And they won't have immature autistic dramatic responses to things so you'll feel more comfortable expressing yourself and being yourself if you disagree and etc.

>>18269702
Thank you, for the honest advice. I will try, that's mostly what I've gotten out of this thread-and it's something I've been thinking for a while.