Should I tell her?

Thats a major turn off for some women. I would either wait till you got serious or not say anything

>>18269146
Tell her after you've been laid. Responses to this kind of information are unpredictable.

t. regular employer of sex workers

>>18269146
You should tell her. She was open with you about her sexual history and it's a sign of trust and good faith - she sounds like a good person ans I would be absolutely astonished if she did a heel-face turn and suddenly considered you scum for seeing an escort out of grief over an abusive relation.

Keeping this kind of thing a secret will only be more harmful the longer it takes her to find out.

Dont tell her man. Thats no ones business.

>>18269182
This. It's none of her business. Your old relationships arent either. If she felt like sharing great, but don't feel obligated because she did it.

>>18269164
>heel-face turn

Very interesting that you give such clearly terrible advice and have implicitly equated rejecting the OP with turning face.

She has the right to decide if she risks for an std or not. Not judging you. My bf told me he had escorts before and I was curious. I didn't mind, it was an issue for him, not for me.

This is one of those things I would take to the grave.

As long as you didn't knock one of the escorts up, or get any std's, your past relationships are not her business. Don't air dirty laundry that has been put to bed.

Everyone has done shit they regret. If you truly want to let go of that chapter of your life, learn to leave it in the past.

>>18269182
THIS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD THIS. Nothing is a bigger turn off to girls than saying you were so undesireable that you had to pay for sex (even though the reasons for visiting a sex worker vary and don't mean you're undesireable), women just don't understand.

>>18269182

You're right, but I think it's the kind of thing that most people would have an opinion on and want to know.

If your girlfriend had fucked a bunch of men before you, would you want to know? I'm sure most people on 4chan would, because you'd want a sense of their values and self-worth. Generally, sleeping with a lot of people on a casual basis suggests a lot about a person, as does somebody who pays for sex.

So I would say OP doesn't owe this woman anything, he doesn't have to tell her, but if I was dating somebody and it was going well (plus I'd been very open about my sexual past), I would want to know this so I could make my own mind up.

If she has had a threesome in the past, chances are she is quite liberated when it comes to sexuality so is unlikely to have an issue with you sleeping with escorts in the past.

If I found out my partner had slept with escorts and not told me about it, I would be more likely to leave them than if they were just open about it from the beginning.

>>18269153
Care to elaborate on the t.?

>>18269146
dont ask, dont tell

Nobody is entitled to know your sexual history. A partner is entitled to know your STI status, but not who you've had sex with in the past.

It's nice if somebody chooses to tell their partner that stuff. But it's their choice and just because they make that choice doesn't mean you're obligated to do the same.

Fucking escorts WHILE you're dating her, that's a different story.

>>18269146
Keep your fucking mouth shut. The beauty of fucking prostitutes is no one knows and no one tells. Don't be stupid.

What a bunch of disgusting fucks.

Either way, you can risk telling her and getting an honest relationship out of it or carrying that secret with you for the rest of your life. It IS baggage and you'd want to know if you were in her position.

Look OP you tell her you have a relationship 4 a while. Then it goes bad you break up and she tells your whole family and friends you fuck prostitutes. And then they all think your a disgusting POS.

So OP tell us what youve decided to do.

>>18270521

T. means "source". it's from a Finnish word

it's used on /pol/ a lot

>>18271450
I'm pretty sure he meant that he wanted to know more about anon's exploits with sex workers.

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213KB, 250x263px

Not her business. Your real problem is youre dating someone who is literally a professional manipulator. Good luck.

>>18269146
Why in the fucking world would you tell her? What possible upside is there to letting her know?

>>18269146
Yeah, tell her. She is a psychologist, she can handle it. She might already assume you have.

psych student here.

couple of points
>>18271496
>>18270875
>>18270862

whatever might seem to be the "strategic" thing for OP to do, he clearly likes this woman beyond just a fb. He also feels a weight of secrecy and believes it is a betrayal of their bond to keep this from her. Having this secret is always going to be deleterious in the long run. And while there is some evidence that it might become easier to divulge this kind of thing later on, as a psychologist and a woman, she will pick up on his holding something back - which rarely ends well

>>18271496
i tend to agree with this.

if you want some insight into how we are trained not to judge people, there are a couple of concepts you can google which might ease your mind

1. attribution, and especially FAE
2. the julie and mark vignette

tl;dr - she will be less likely than a layperson to judge you for it, especially if you frame it as a reaction to a bad previous relationship

>>18271475
I don't know whether OP's gf is employed in clinical practice, or something like marketing. if it's the latter, i'd actually tend to agree with you

more than likely, her motivation for studying was to help people. i know many psychologists. and far from being manipulative, they (on the whole) are some of the most decent and earnest people you'll ever meet - as much as I hate to generalise!

>>18272330
>Having this secret is always going to be deleterious in the long run.

It doesn't have to be. If she never knows about it, nothing bad has to come from it. My wife will NEVER know that I fucked a prostitute overseas when I was younger, and it's not ever going to be a problem.

> she will be less likely than a layperson to judge you for it,

Possibly. But there's a marked difference between seeing a psychologist professionally, and seeing one personally. Just because she's trained not to judge her clients doesn't mean she's likely react the same way to someone she's in a romantic relationship with.