not kissless anymore. what now?

(continued)

And I should be happy, right? This is what I've wanted for a very long time and I thought I would have settled for a lot less. But I'm actually very anxious and confused right now. Like:

What if we break up? That's scary.
What if we don't break up and stay together for a long time? That's scary.
What if we have sex? That's scary.
What if we don't have sex? You guessed it - that's also scary.

I don't think I can reasonably say I "love" her (though I don't "not love" her, either), but what I experience doesn't feel like lust, either, at least not of the "predator waiting to pounce on prey" variety. It's more like some kind of disarming intoxication combined with a moth-to-flame attraction. OP pic is how I feel.

I expect responses like "just relax and see where this goes" but I'm afraid I can't just will myself into ignoring my worries. This is the strongest emotional attachment I've built in less than a week and don't know what to do about it. Help?

TL;DR: started dating someone for the first time in 24 years, didn't expect to lose my damn mind. Would like to regain sanity without returning to the solitary path.

>>18265301
>>18265302
The fact that this took 2 posts means you are overthinking THE FUCK out of this.

She obviously likes you. But she's not ready for sex. That's fine.

Do you like her? Keep going out. It's not scary because it's a relationship, it's scary because it's new. If this were he third or tenth time you'd done something like this it'd be a lot less scary, trust me.

Do what makes you happy. That's what you need at the end of the day. If trying with her is more fun than scary, keep going. If a relationship is too much for you to deal with, let her know, break it off.

It's up to you. What do you really want anon?

>>18265302
Just by the length of this post I can definitely tell she is going to break up with. Literally oozing betacuckery right now

>>18265301
tl;dr as someone who's been in your shoes, you need to go for it, get laid with her asap before she decides you're just some beta orbiter. She's not completely decided yet, so you need to take iniative and show her you're not some handwringing weakling (even though you are).

>>18265337
>She obviously likes you. But she's not ready for sex. That's fine.
I'm okay with this. I'm not in a hurry.
I do get a lot more erections these days, though, but I've lost all will to fap, to porn or otherwise. That's very weird.

>Do you like her?
...yes? I'm definitely super attracted to her on a physical level, but when she says she has doubts about whether our personalities match I can't help but share similar doubts. I've met people, men and women, who felt like kindred spirits since the day I met them. I'm not getting this with her.
I hope going out more might help us know each other more and discover things in common. Is this likely to happen?

>What do you really want anon?
I don't know. I guess my main goal in my "romance quest" was just to try a universal experience I hadn't before. Everyone says "relationships aren't that great" but most of them don't stay voluntarily single for long. I wanted to see what I was missing out on.
Well here I am. It feels like vertigo.

>>18265344
I've ended up disregarding most advice about being stoic, not revealing inexperience or insecurities etc. and poured my heart out to her on the first date. Didn't make her want to kiss me any less.
The only "alpha" thing I did was take a leap of faith and go for it. She later told me that she actually had no intention of inviting a kiss by looking at me like that and simply accepted it because she liked it. Lucky me.

>>18265301
Just keep asking her on dates and hope for best.

And buy condoms.

Happy for you dude.

I know this is a weird thing to think about but seeing as this is your first relationship, ride the wave for a bit but then focus in on what you like and don't like about it. Unfortunately, first relationships based on a tenuous kiss rarely last (but awesome if it does!), but even if it doesn't, come out on the other side wiser than when you went in. It will help you get over (some of) your anxiety for meeting other girls in the future.

For now though, enjoy the endorphins and remember to use protection if you guys decide to engage in a more intimate liason.

>>18265386
>Just keep asking her on dates and hope for best

Also ask for dates from other people.

You'll be happier in the long run if you don't make your happiness dependent on one person. You can't control their decisions. But if take enough shots, you can at least feel confident that one of those people will reciprocate your feelings.