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Romantic advice

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Hi, /adv/ they call me the Doctor Dr. Love "of Love" Doctor. I'm here to give you all the love (and/or meaningless sex) advice you probably need. Feel free to list your situations/problems and I will give you my insight.

The doctor is IN !
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>>18263200
How much do girls actually like it when men piss in their vaginas during sex?
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>>18263206
Depends on the woman

If you're comfy enough with a girl for her to let you have your penis in her without a condom, so that the pee would directly enter her vagina, chances are it might just turn her on. Especially during the act itself. Be impulsive, just let loose and talk dirty and it bound to be a smash hit!

- Love, The love "Mike Masters" doctor "love Doctor" Doctor of love
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ok doc

past week and a half been talking to this girl. swapped pictures. she would start up conversation a lot, and we'd talk for hours.

i started becoming flirty and she didn't seem to mind it, and i ended up asking for a picture of her ass. she said "so we're at that point huh" after that she doesn't seem too interested in talking to me.

have i been moving too fast? can i bounce back from this?
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Is sexting another girl when you have a girlfriend cheating
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Doc

Me and my gf have a crush on another girl after a threesome, which we never expected to happen. Now we're confused if we are kinda polyamorous, or it just happened this once, which sounds like a bad case of oneitis

Wat do?
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Hello, Doc LOve.
So, I want to ask you something about feeling lonely first, and then something about experience.

1- I've always been alone and have never had a girlfriend, I'm no virgin, I've had some affairs and all, nothing really meaningful. The thing is, I feel very needy whenever I lose a girls attention. If I never had it, fuck it, but if I like the girl, she gives me an opening and it closes, I just few so bad and needy. I usually don't act on it, but it never seems to go away. Every time I get to this same scenario, I feel the neediness. So... What's about it? How can I help myself out of that neediness, or at least to just feel confortable with it?

2- Like I said, I never had a gf so I've never had much experience on that matter. Still, some people tell me that the time I've spent alone and in self-knowledge study and self-development make me a really good person for any woman I find. I don't believe them because I have no experience... So, can I actually be a good boyfriend, or just a bf material, if I never actually practiced any of it?...

Thanks a lot!
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>>18263214
Thanks for the reply. Also, how much cum could a gorilla swallow before it started choking on it?
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>>18263219
Can you elaborate on what "swapping pictures" entailed?

>>18263222
I mean, the definition of cheating is extremely broad. I myself have had a relationship end because of this very practice.

If I could go back in time to that moment, I would really question what was going wrong with my relationship at the time to cause me to feel like I needed sexual validation from other women.

Maybe the question isn't whether or not it is cheating, but whether or not you want/you are ready/want to put the work in to maintain your relationship. I would suggest some taking some time to seriously reflect on those things. They always say cheating is a symptom anywhoo.

>>18263224
It sounds like a complicated situation and, instead of worrying about labels, I would talk with your girlfriend about whether or not the sexual encounter was something of the type you'd like to continue with.

But as far as the "crush" goes, only you can sense whether or not it is "oneitis" (born of neediness), or genuine interest. [In my own experience, when I obsess over an individual, it tends to be the former.]
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>>18263236
of our face

she asked at first if i meant nudes and i said while enticing, that wasn't what i meant
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>>18263230
I think its a powerful thing that you've noticed your desire for female attention - and to the extent that it may be hindering you. I've actually experienced this plenty myself - up until only a few months ago actually.

What helped me was finding things I like to do and sticking to them more firm than letting myself obsess over women. One of the few was jogging, which still produces an amazing sense of self confidence every time I do it. Perhaps any sort of physical exercise would help you (and your brain) out.

Part of what confidence entails is knowing that you can deal with whatever comes your way. That is much of life, right? We are growing up and starting to find ourselves into many situations we have not experienced before. Probably daily actually, and im sure you these trivial things never hurt you. You use your intuition and any life experience to help you master situations.

Getting a girlfriend is just as trivial, i'd go as far as to say intuitive. Ofcourse you can be a good boyfriend for your first relationship!

Think of it like a job, you have to get work experience somehow - maybe a smaller intimate connection but not a full blown relationship (?), its really up to you.

The whole thing to consider overall is that it isnt very serious. I know it feels terrible to lose female attention, but you know how indifferent you become to it over a period of time? That's a mindset you can always have with you if you practice.
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>>18263236
Ok. Well actually I'm not the one doing the sexting, I was lurking on my bf's phone, really bad and sneaky and shitty of me to do I know, and I found the conversations. Its not with a girl he knows in real life, some girl he met on a pen pal app. When your ex-girlfriend found out you had been sexting how did she find out and how did it play out? Should I tell him? He's really uptight about his privacy and I know he would freak out if he found out I looked at his messages on his phone.
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>>18263240
Interesting. So that inclination on her part to ask if you meant nude pictures, suggests that she (in some capacity) is thinking of you in a sexual way. In fact, I would argue that *in that moment* she might not have minded exchanging nudes.

One thing that is notorious about females is that their feelings are always dynamic, especially in regards how they feel emotionally.

Let me know more about the "becoming flirty" part.

From the offset - as far as your developing connection goes, I dont think you moved too fast by asking her. I'm honestly guessing it was a matter of faulty timing.

How you handle this going forward is honestly more important than what happened.

If it's apparent you're putting more effort into the relationship (as to "make up" for what happened) it will be apparent - and she will mistake your care for neediness, which it could infact be.

You asked her - it happened. It wasnt a big deal, so frankly I invite you not to treat it like one. In fact try and treat her as you did before the whole thing happened and I think you'll find that she will start to do the same.

Keep it cool - and remember, nothing lasts forever, this connection (just like any other) is subject to being destroyed at any moment. Cherish the moment and conversation you share, don't be afraid but learn to be open and accepting.

I have total faith in you.

My one last piece of advice, its nice for women to get an understanding of you by taking to them - but you might want to start subtly flirting after you guys have had a good rapport for a while, so she can understand your intentions may be of mysterious "sexual" nature.
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>>18263200
Have trouble expressing myself so having trouble with my oneitis getting to like me back, what do?
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>>18263222
Would you tell your girlfriend? No? Then it is. Oh I just read it wasn't you but your bf. Yes it is and he sucks, sorry.

>>18263214
What the fuck, no, don't pee anywhere near my vagina
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>>18263265
Oh wow, that's a very tough situation. First thing's first - in regards to "being cheating", it's more important to understand how it made you feel. Did it feel like a breach in your relationship and how do you think he would feel if you did that?

Before I talk about moving forward I will tell you a bit of my story.

So basically I was in a long distance relationship with a girl (we had met up several times) and it got to the point where we were "off and on". Ironically, one of the reasons this happened was because I couldn't trust her and always thought she was cheating on me (im gonna skip the backstory). I started talking to a girl she knew, but hadn't talked to hardly ever. When the girl sent me a nude on snapchat and I screencapped it - she was really mad at me. I guess when it just so happened they were at the same party, she told my ex what had happened.

I mean its your call to tell him or not. Do you think this is a problem in the relationship that can be worked out? If so, then its crucial to talk to him about this (unless you can let the feelings go/ignore them) and doing so in a firm way would be most productive. Not like rudely firm, but just that the evidence was matter of fact and then open up to conversation.

Reread my first response to you, but just imagine if you are reading it as him, and try to understand why this happened.

I'm still around to answer if you have further questions.
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>>18263268
thanks doc

it was just something silly but then i made a pun that in she said caused her to dry right up

i really like making puns so i guess i'll be laying off of them
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>>18263279
i'm sorry but I do not see any credentials suggesting that you are a love doctor. if you have a question, feel free to ask (surely you posted in this thread for a reason) - but leave the advice giving to me. Thanks! :-)

>>18263274
The problem isn't about getting you "oneitis" to like you, but learning to find the confidence to live without her affection. There are many women in the world (BELIEVE ME!!!!) and its a fact some won't like you back. Its never something to break your back over.

Check out this response
>>18263252
Some of it might resonate and help you!

Further questions welcomed as always.
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>>18263293
Puns are great! They really show a level of intellect. But I myself refrain from trying to be humorous whatsoever when trying to get sexual with a women.. until we've reached a point where I know sexual humor won't put her off.

When you want to be sexual, try to be a little more machismo than funny - even if its not how you are on a daily level.

god bless
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Doc I need help :c

My bf and I have been together for 3 years, by now I thought everything in terms of what we're comfortable with would be established. Every now and then he'll out of the blue say something like "I know you're cheating, why don't you just tell me now and not waste our time" I have never cheated on him before. He won't drop the topic for a good while (at most 5 hours) he goes about it in a way where it's like he's not sure I've cheated but, thinks that if he says he knows about it that I'll confess to it. Why would he do this? Again I've never cheated, he is a little jealous when I talk to other guys but those are just friends. I would let him know they are my friends and nothing more, I make it VERY clear that I would never do that to him. Heck I can't even play a few rounds of overwatch with my friend cause he think I'm hitting on him. Any advice?
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>>18263303
Tips getting this confidence to live without her affection?
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>>18263311
makes sense

how do i get to become machismo? i'm heavily introverted, as is she and i feel pretty secure in my masculinity

when i get sexual i go from 0-100 quickly
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>>18263200
Doctor doctor have you heard the news?
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>>18263303
>>18263326
Just to add on, even if she doesn't like me is it still worth asking her out?

Thanks
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>>18263236
I just used the label to shortly describe it.

We have discussed it and she thinks it could work with this girl. Problem is she lives in another city and is confused about doing a relationship like that. We're both moving on for now, but also trying to figure out how the hell we fell in love with someone else and if this is something we want to pursue for our relationship.

I mean, it was cool, but I don't know if we'd have the balls to date someone else who wasn't our crush in the future, because that bitch fitted right in with so much in common to both of us it was kinda scary...
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>>18263320
Sadly, I used to be just like your boyfriend. I had an experience with my girlfriend at the start of our relationship that caused me to lose trust and I always thought she was cheating.

I accused her almost everyday until our relationship just ended flat out because I had cheated
(see second paragraph of >>18263291)


It was insecurity flat out. Either I had felt like I wasn't good enough for her and that she would be better off with someone else - or that I myself wouldn't be able to repress the desire of cheating.

I mean, I would insult my girlfriend intently every time and then "be over it" only to fall into the same pattern the next day.

That said, I don't think your situation is hopeless. If my girlfriend had put her foot down and really talked to me about why I was accusing her, as opposed to being passive and just denying my accusations, it might have helped better. I mean I think you can firm but also loving and understanding, but the most important part of these conversations is not showing your weakness.

If you really show your strength and give him the impression that its something you wont put up with - he will likely stop ( I only stopped after getting blocked by my ex) - and again this doesn't have to be conducted in a malicious tone. He sounds needy enough that he would come back you - even after he pretended he won't if you call him out on it. Remember that, you are actually in a position of power.

I've been drinking a it more so my answer might seem fragmented and confusing. If you have questions about specific parts - or anything really, let me know, i'll do my best to help you out. Especially because I can jump into his shoes and give you a better insight into his own being then he probably could.
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>>18263348
It is not. I mean maybe some grand event will happen and she will say "yes", but for all women you can tell - just based on how much positive emotion they convey to you, whether they'd say no or not.

Plus it helps keep your confidence intact by letting go of the situation and understanding she would probably say no, given how she's acting (i'm not too sure on how she acted, you havent really told me). There are many girls, and you WILL find ones that are more into you. Save your emotional energy until you know someone is worth it.
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>>18263364
She does go out of her way to talk to me and has said that she does enjoy talking to me. But I feel she views me as more of a friend
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>>18263333
>pretty secure in my masculinity

good, its actually very intuitive to be "machismo"

the thing about sex is, even if you're at an 100 you have to be able to conceal that fact until the time is right. Its all about timing, if you give things a slower build up instead of unleashing all at once - you will likely be successful. You've got this.
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I have really bad ptsd and possibly stockholm syndrome. I was severely sexually abused. I now have someone that i have sex with and a decent amount of feelings towards that basically replicates the abuse and sometimes the dynamic i have with my abuser. Firstly is the healthy? Ill ask my next question after this is answered. Its just a really good way for me to cope. Physical pain masks emotional pain but then i feel bad for basically indulging in whats almost self harm. Pic is me for attention so i can generate some answers.

May be a bit dark for this post but i can only reply because INDIANA STATE UNIVERSITY students keep getting the whole area banned from posting on 4chan! Thanks guys.
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>>18263351
Remember "oneitis" can blur your vision. I've gone on dates with several people this year and in a certain light, I could read all of them as being "perfect for me" - but ironically enough, the only person I did feel such a way for, started a relationship with me that ended so terribly because I became needy about her and tried so hard to hold on.

So be careful!!

Another question - was this your first threesome experience in this relationship?
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>>18263353
I was attending community college during the first year of our relationship and him, not being able to attend, felt uncomfortable with me going. I later found out it was because he felt insecure in that I was going to get a better education without him and thought I would leave him for someone with a brighter future. He used to insult me about everything, from my studies to how I was dressed.

I couldn't focus in class and he would start arguments with me the day before a test so I wouldn't feel like going. He made me question what I would wear, who I would talk to. He slowly started becoming more and more controlling. He broke up with me but like you said, he came back when he realized he missed me. Eventually I dropped out and I regret it ever since. I can understand him feeling like maybe he isn't good enough. He had said that before but what do I say to that? I assure him that yes, he is everything I want but I feel like that isn't enough.

I don't know how to go about bringing up all these things he's accused me of. He says some hurtful things that I still haven't forgiven him for. I tend to be passive when I don't know if it's gonna lead to anything. I don't really know where to go from here.
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>>18263383
It seems like we all are drawn to what happened earlier in our lives, for me it can be women who quickly shift being overly invest - and entirely too busy for me (like my mom).

Whether or not it's healthy, is really up to you. I imagine most licensed therapists would try and suggest that there is something wrong with it.

It's more complex than simply being healthy or not, I think such a question is trivial compared to the situation.

If you give me more information I can try to psychoanalyze you.

Also i'm not going to lie you look good in that photo and now I feel half way inclined to ask for your contact information. Oops!
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>>18263403
Thanks lol it was just years of abuse that ended in 2 years (2 seperate lengths of time that ammount to 2 years) of 24 hour systematic abuse. Rape water boarding starving isolation a lot of what i now call impact play and some knife play. Just a really nasty situation.
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>>18263399
It really sounds like an abusive relationship, have to talked to anyone close to you about it?

The fact that he bullied you out of attending college is pretty serious, to the point where you might want to start thinking about your own wellbeing and whether or not that's something that can include him.

I feel like successful relationships should be very supportive about these things and supporting successes (not trying to ridicule them). Had I changed this one factor about my own first relationship, it might have gone entirely different.

I dont know, i'm honestly pretty slanted about you dumping him - I think the only way someone abusive like that (aka myself) can only truly learn by losing what was important to us in the first place.
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>>18263415
That sounds extremely intense
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>>18263403
Ok second question i guess. I sometimes associate feelings of fear and mistrust with my lover. Subconsciously and consciously i sometimes feel like i replaced my abuser with the lover. Therefore i sometimes associate the lover with feelings of abuse. I am 100% sure he cares but sometimes i get convinced he doesnt
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>>18263376
You want to be careful about how much you project onto her too. Maybe you are just inclined to think people want to view you more strictly as a friend?

Try to completely detach yourself from the situation and only examine the signs she puts out
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>>18263418
The consenual sex gets pretty bad too. This weekend were meeting up and hes only communicated that hes planning on burning me with hot objects. But i know its gonna be intense. I had a dream about my abuser. It was an actual memory and it switched to him and freaked me the fuck out. However there is sufficient evidence that he genuinely cares
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>>18263379
man i have a problem with overthinking things.

i never thought things could be so simple

my last question for you 大好き博士

how do i proceed now? i had a pretty weak conversation where i asked her how her day was that ended up going nowhere

i'm kind of anxious now about coming off as needy. i'm trying to think of a way to approach her free of desire and pretense and to just be myself and act natural
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>>18263430
>>18263419
Ok i'm going to guess these questions are related.

I think first off, is that want you want sexually? To be burnt with an object? That still sounds borderline abusive, and i'm thinking that maybe you dont feel like you can say no to such a thing.

What is the evidence you have that you know he cares for you?
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Yo, Patrice, tell me...
I know it's ill-advised to fuck a coworker, but do you know a way to attract a bipolar waitress, or at least make her thirst hard for you?

I'll be honest, she shown some interest a while back, but I kinda spaghetti'd on purpose to get her off of me. I had some weird revelations and dreams that are deeply, deeply influencing me to smash. No relations, no love, nothing...but raw, unadulterated, harsh smashing.

I'm a loser, though, so I need to know what kind of tips and tricks I need to get her to my level.

There will be regret, but goddamn it, this life would've been a worthy one if I got this mothafucka, you know?

TL:DR, teach me how to alpha or how to mindgames to get nudes at least pls. Bonus if you could teach this loser how to simple-sex.
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>>18263416
LOL its a really difficult situation for me too. Again this all happened in the first year we were dating. Looking back on it I don't know what made me get back with him after he dumped me. I confided in his mom about this but there wasn't much she could do. She wasn't much help, she pretty much got mad at me for dropping out.

Two years have passed since then and I thought things were going great until recently when he started accusing me of cheating. Lately I've been thinking about breaking up with him more and more but when I get to see him I instantly change my mind. He can be so loving and then so cold with me afterwards? I don't know if he's bipolar or if it's a form of gaslighting. Embarrassed to be with me?

You having to of been in this situation helps a lot and I was wondering how I should go about bringing up all these accusations. Then again he has a bad habit of pretending to not know what I'm talking about.
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>>18263434
Proceed however you want, that is the beauty of it all.

Again, what has helped me tremendously is going on runs. Just today after getting back from a run I was blown off by a girl I have perhaps too many feelings for already, but I felt totally cool with it.

The "i had a weak conversation" thing is just like the asking for ass photos thing. It wasnt a big deal so don't feel like you have to treat it like one - you can totally be confident with this girl. No one would really spurn anyone for one not-so-interesting conversation.

I'd wait maybe a day or two before hitting her up again - it would show that you are confident enough to not be needing her attention daily. And by doing so, and fighting the urge to message her immediately, it will be the truth :+).
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Ummm ill post caption then pic. Accidently uploaded non edited with names and phone numbers
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I had a relationship for almost a year with one of my coworkers (bad idea, I know), I broke up with him 5 months ago because he's alcoholic and he has this delusions about me liking everyone in the world, like I couldn't even say a joke or laugh or talk to someone at work without him making a scene about it (even when he's like "popular" at work and he talks with everyone)

I know I should stay away from him but it's so fucking difficult when I have to see him at least 4 days a week, it would be way easier if the solution were only blocking someone on social media. Obviously I don't want to lose my job either. But I feel like I still like him and I hate it because he didn't trusted me at all even when I'm a really lowprofile person who would never cheat, I really want to be with him again but I know he will try to control me again. How can I cope with all these emotions?
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>>18263440
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>>18263445
You don't need tricks or games dude. Just make some light banter with her, if she vibes - get her number, text her for just a little bit and then set up a date.

Stop thinking about it from what you're getting - but more about the mutual experience you want to provide for her in the bedroom. I guarantee focusing more on her will be in your favor.
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>>18263474
Alright. There's only a problem though...
I think I killed her vibes since the spaghetti incident. I might've killed them even further since I had a bad day at work. Maybe, just maybe...her vibes are completely buried since last week.

Any redemption or nah?

If nah, then where else shall I go for potential smashers?
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>>18263446
Its abuse plain and simple - he subconsciously knows that being nice and lovable will keep you around so he can abuse you further.

I think you are better up breaking up with him desu, just from what ive heard. Its a lot of work to try and change someone, even moreso if theyre affecting your life like he is.

But doing so with take a lot of strength on your end - he will whine, probably threaten suicide, literally anything to keep you around
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>>18263488
Bruh - women's vibes are way more static than guys. Its all about you being a confident mother fucker.

So what you had a weird incident before? Maybe that day you were just feeling weird - there's no way for her to know .

You want to keep your interest in her visible, but subliminal enough. and again its not a game!! its a win-win situation for both of you, so start to believe it dammit!
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>>18263489
Thank you, I'm gonna go ahead and think on all of this. Thank you Dr. Love anon doctor. G'night. I feel a little better at least..
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>>18263440
I feel like my reply got lost in this lol because of how i posted it
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>>18263469
It's most advisable you dont try to be with him again - it would probably make things worse.

When you're working you just have to remember the past between you two, but don't dwell on it. Focus on what it was about him that caused it not to work- and then remember the job you have infront of you is far more tangible and if you keep your mind on it you will be more successful.

Sorry if my language is becoming cryptic
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>>18263493
A'ight, thanks Patrice.
I dunno how to banter or all that shit though. That's the one thing that makes me a loser. I'm a terrible flirter, and I'm almost robotic when it comes to speaking to people unless I'm with my buds. Otherwise, I'm a solid dude.

After advice on that, we're all set!
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>>18263498
It was kind of all over the place desu, from one of your messages I cant tell if your abuser or your lover is someone you have talked to for a decade, and who on the text message convo was you.

If you could clarify those two and give a more specific question, i'd love to answer.
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>>18263509
Lover. Abuser is actually a family member and i would never contact him. His name is the one marked out
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>>18263505
Dont worry about flirting, that comes naturally.

What is more important for you to focus on is finding your own self confidence. There's no reason you should call yourself a loser, (atleast publically), women can smell that shit a mile away.

I'd say your mind is in the right place - but atleast 30 minutes of some exercise per day would really put you in the mindset to trust with and fuck with ya self (in the positive way)

Some things advice will never solve for your, remember its your story B-) <3
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>>18263511
so who was in the text conversation then ?
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>>18263514
Lover. Like i seeing him in the dream just gave me extreme feelings of anxiety. Like i questioned if cared or i really was just property to him.
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>>18263517
If he cared damn i need more sleep lol
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>>18263517
>>18263522
sleep is always important

I think your best bet is serious introspection and therapy.... as you see in this thread i havent really given much advice along the caliber of what you have experienced

d-do u have more photos
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>>18263531
Yes and as a thank you ill drop one more. I think im just stressed cus im seeing him soon and am intimidated
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>>18263531
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>>18263539
I mean, you dont have to see him - especially if its making u feel scared..

do you have skype or something?
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>>18263543
No but give you an email then number for shits and giggles [email protected]
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>>18263549
sweet I emailed you


everyone else - im done for today but I hope I helped and I will be around again someday!
>>
I'm gonna cold approach this girl at my college today

Have no idea what i'm even going to talk about, i just know that if i don't approach and get done with it already i won't sleep
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>>18263200
>>18263200
Dear Doc,
I feel very strong emotions of desire for pretty girls on trains. It's kind of an obsession.
It's particular weird cause I used to be a foreveralone virgin and now I got a date with a stunning girl on the weekend but I can't stop thinking of this girl with big blue eyes with which I only exchanged furtive looks today. Does this lusting ever stop? I thought once you have a chance of getting with a pretty girl you'd stop desiring.
Like it's really clouding my mind right now.
>tfw regret and lust and confusion
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>>18263690
Not the doc but I've approached a few girls I didn't know before and all "successfully", meaning I met up with them after.
It doesn't really matter what you say but how you say it. And the more you do it the less you make a big deal about it, cause it's really not.
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>>18263388

Hey, just saw it now

Not really, we had two others before, plus a date that didn't go further. The first one was cool but the girl was "meh", and the second one was shit.

But this one, shit, it was so sweet... It wasn't just sex, it was romantic as fuck, the girl lit candles for us, there was cuddling, movie watching, she said a ton of sweet things to us too...

We're slowly moving on, leaving her be for a while while we get out shit toghether. I recognize it can be just a oneitis, but given how rare single bi girls are already, and how much of a match in everything she was to us, I'd say it's a very justifiable oneitis at the very least...
>>
>>18263200

Alright doc, so here's the thing:

I've been having a sort of long-distance relationship for a while now. I've met this girl online and she's everything I could ask for in a potential girlfriend, partner etc. She lives ~650km away, so meeting her, although hard, isn't impossible. We spoke of meeting before overall and I think a relationship between us two would work wonders.

However, she seems to be losing interest since the last few weeks. We used to talk every single day at first; now she takes long breaks and hardly ever calls me anymore. I doubt this is on my end, and perhaps I'm misreading things, but we're slowly losing contact and I would rather this didn't happen.

Have I fallen for the LDR meme, doc? Am I being cucked right now? Should I give chase and keep messaging her first or just give up and look elsewhere? I've been told a shitton of times that you should be the one the girl runs after and not otherwise, else you would appear to be beta, needy etc. How much of this is true?
>>
>>18263200
Me and a group of friends go to our local downtown area often on the weekends to get drunk and socialize. There's an older woman we hang out and drink with fairly often. Me and her are pretty flirty but I thought it was pretty innocent and not really super sexual or anything. Well one night it escalated into me walking her home one night because she had a bit too much and I didnt feel comfortable letting her walk alone. We get to her place and she offers to smoke a blunt with me so we lay on her bed and talk, smoking the whole while. She's rubbing on my arm and chest while we talk and it feels really good, she stops a few times but I tell her to keep going and after a while I turn to her and we start making out and it leads to some mutual rubbing and her giving me a bj but stopped short of sex (her time of the month she implied). I left that night and sent her a text the next day saying I had a good time and she said she did too and complimented me on my kissing.


This came out of nowhere, there wasn't really a build up, it just happened. I've never been in this situation before, I'm a virgin in my mid 20s who has only recently gone from morbidly obese to fit (well, still fat but lost a lot of weight and workout 3 days a week) and only starting to get female attention, def the furthest I've gotten with a woman. I would like for this to happen again, but I don't really want to date her. There is mutual attraction but not in that way. I feel kind of awkward because I dont really know what do to set this up again other than head downtown and hopes shes there and start drinking together. I saw her a few days ago and our relationship was like it was normally, although some things happened that made for an awkward situation (not with me specifically, something unrelated that made the atmosphere weird) and she ended up leaving early. I don't really know how to handle this and I feel a one on one meetup is too intimate for what I'm going for.
>>
>>18265219
Tell her you want to get together and go drinking with everyone like usual. If you want to have sex with her you should probably make that known in person, then just ask her to go someplace more quiet if she seems down. If she wants to bang, she'll be able to pick up the subtext.

The trickier part is both establishing you want it to be a casual sort of deal and telling her you're a virgin. Because, unless you want to be laughed out of your clique for being a shitty lay, you should probably tell her you're a virgin. She won't care, if she's interested in casual sex with you she might even appreciate and enjoy popping your cherry. Take it upon herself to teach you how to properly please a woman.

Just be honest, try and act confident. and don't get down on yourself if she's not interested the same way you are. And remember, she'll only care if you're a virgin if she doesn't care about you at all or if you don't tell her in advance.
>>
>>18265268
She's not really in our "clique". Like I said she's an older woman and we really only see her downtown, we dont go out and do stuff with her, which would make it weird if I started inviting her to stuff instead of just meeting up with her by happenstance as what usually happens.

I would prefer not telling her I'm a virgin, after our last experience I'm pretty confident in my stamina and I was pretty good about getting her off without the sex so I feel I'll be fine. She really only talks with one of my friends, who is one of my closest so I don't really care if she knows I'm a shitty lay or not lol. Besides, this woman is very sweet and it would be out of character if she trashed me to my friends, unless I did something shitty to her, which I dont see myself doing.

How do I go about the "letting her know in person" bit? I dont just ask her straight up if she wants to have sex, do I lol? I really don't know, this is uncharted territory for me.
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