Best way to commit suicide painlessly

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Why think so small?

Go out with a bang. Make it something that gets shown on the news.

You could break into homes of drug dealers, ransack their shit, and hopefully eventually die. You may even like it, plus there's money.

That's only one of the many things you could do, OP. Think big. You only get......one shot! haha!

Hope I helped!

smoke weed and sell it

don't commit suicide. rob a bank. if you get away, you're rich. if not, you get to die as a dick rather than as a fag.

Get yourself on a plane to Mexico with a good amount of cash. Fuck all the hookers you can afford and do all the drugs you can afford. Then, after you've had your fill of fucking, getting high and the fantastic food, if you still don't want to live, rent a boat, get a good few miles off coast, tie your feet together with a piece of rope, attach a few cinder blocks to the rope on your feet, and jump.

>>18262527
>Drowning
>Painless
Pick one.

>>18262517
failing at life obviously, got supre depressed at age 18, stopped taking my medication, stoppedcaring about anything, eventually snapped so badly I tried to kill myself and my brother while just being completely dead eye'd and slow walking. Spent the years being on dyalysis and getting another kidney to replace the rejeted one,, had to drop out of school that I was flunking out anyway, had nothing but seasonal warehouse jobs all the way til now. My life is over and as far as i'm concerned it was a waste that I was given a second chance at it, this kidney could of gone towards somebody who could have been something.

>>18262500
>no sharp objects
You can afford a 10 dollar knife?
No wonder you want to kill yourself.
Steal it from your parents who you are obviously mooching off of.

>>18262544
My mom has been dead since 2005
My dad, I don't really talk to,much. but you're right. I don't have any money at all I don't have an ID or even know how to drive, read a map, or how to talk to people. The knives in my aunt's house are all too dull and old to do any real damage beyond minor cuts to the wrists,too.

Don't kill yourself OP please

>>18262552
Quit being a difficult faggot.
Steal the money from your aunt.

>>18262566
Anon, I hate myself, why would I steal from my aunt? I want to die so life can be better for her, stealing the money isn't going to help that.

>>18262558
I've tried so hard to convince myself my life was worth living, I even put down pros and cons of me dying and I could not once see anything positive that wasn't temporary

You cannot be serious about offing yourself If you are not willing to deal with some pain.stop wasting these good people's valuable time

>>18262538

In that case, given how early you lost your mother, the YEARS on dialysis and the implicitly biochemical depression, I'd say you had an abnormally brutal shake at life. In which case there's not much point in comparing yourself to others right now. Dialysis doesn't really do much for morale and I'd imagine it makes going to school rather difficult...

So yah, I'd say to take things as they are and not assume external tragedies are always the results of personal flaws. But realize that you're at point where you need to pick up the pieces and make things better. Your best bet is to get some training that separates you from the straight from high school people. And when in school/training, capitalize on the fact that you have work experience and are more mature than the average student. By more mature I mean take school more seriously, do your studies properly, get along better with profs, etc.

Step 1: Search for a rough rope or a chain (about 1mt long(50" i think?))
Step 2: Go to a bridge/your house rooftop/a big tree
Step 3: Tie the rope/chain to your neck, make sure to make it so it wont lose when the time comes.
Step 4: Tie the other end of the rope/chain to something which can winstand your weight
Step 5: Realize you are an absolute pussy/coward/idiot/cunt afraid of death
step 6: undo step 4, go home, and face the world with your "new life"
Step 7: Realize your "new life" is as shitty as your "past life"
Step 8: Repeat
alter Step 5: Jump. Your little neck will break as a stick, ending your patethic life

alter Step 6: Profit (?

>>18262572
You are saving her money in the long run. You eat her food every day you dont steal from her and actually commit suicide.
Fucking attention seeking faggot.

>>18262516
What about actually selling drugs?

There is nothing wrong in undermining a rotten apathetic society.

>>18262613
Is there a rope that can hold a 340 pound man? I don't think I can get up to the roof or a tree would be able to hold me

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>>18262500
>no access to sharp objects
>charging the cops with a knife is his last option
Really makes you wonder

>>18262645
340 pounds?! DAMN! you aint man, you are a fuking whale. da hell!
that makes it even easier, keep eating shit and dont move, just blink, drink,eat, sleep. u will die 1-2 years later, i guarantee.

>>18262500
Anon, if it makes any difference, anything can change. If you look at it in another perspective, you can see that anything can change, including the current state that you're in. So many people have lead extremely successful and happy lives, yet the first half of their life was absolutely horrible, nightmarish, and made them want to end it all. Just wait anon, maybe the tides will turn.

>>18262500
Would anything be different if you were younger, had education, had friends, had skills? This is an important set of questions.

You have to find reasons to keep on living, without those reasons, you have no reason to bother with getting skills, education or anything.

Outside of that, go to Alaska and walk out into the snow, find a polar bear and wrestle it.

OP I was in your position and i'm basically fine now. Do this and you'll be ok.

I cannot emphasize this enough, a major reason why you feel like shit is because of how bad your health is. It doesn't matter if you had all the skills and things that should make you happy. Fact is, because you're so overweight and out of shape and eating like shit you feel awful. And that won't change until you get into shape and get that weight off. This is giving you major confidence issues in your appearance and making you self conscious about socializing with others.

Your health is making you feel like shit so that even if you do socialize you give off unfriendly apathetic vibes to people which is why you may be failing social situations. It's not due to bad social skills probably. This health is also impacting the health of your brain because obesity factually does this, which is compounding to make your mental health issues much worse than usual.

I want you to put two and two together. The ONLY reason why you want to kill yourself right now, is because you feel like shit because of your health. And you have felt like shit for so long, and dealt with the negative consequences in your life of being unhealthy for so long, that your brain is going bonkers with these insanely negative dramatic thoughts that it wouldn't otherwise have. When you fix your health and get in shape, you will feel amazing. This will make you stop feeling suicidal and unhappy. Because the health was doing this. Not your life. You can be enthusiastic and confident in your ability to overcome your obstacles in your life no matter how bad they are. Great health lets you feel this way.

Here is how you lose the weight. I'll post the strategy in a post after this. This worked for me.

>>18262903
1. Get a pill that surpresses your appetite. Look them up online.
2. Sign up for myfitness pal. Calorie counting is extremely important and it only takes 5 minutes a day.
3. Continue eating whatever you normally do. But do not exceed what myfitness pal says to eat to lose weight.

That's all you have to do. You eat whatever you want. The hunger pill makes you feel as full as you used to even though you're eating less. You spend 5 minutes on a website and maybe a grand total of 15 min in the kitchen per day. Requires no will power and isn't uncomfortable at all. It's so easy you don't even think about it and continue your life while your weight goes down. After the first week or two, your hunger signal gets much weaker. Do not eat to lose more than 2 pounds a week. You will lose more weight than usual at the beginning. That is normal.

Now comes the next part of the strategy. Exercise.When you get down to a healthy weight, running will be easy for you to do. Exercise creates new blood vessels in your brain and increases bloodflow to it. It increases things in your brain that improve how quickly it can learn things and think about things. My doctor says it is factually as powerful as taking antidepressant medication. You will feel MUCH better. Run at a pace that is comfortable to you. Start off slow, warm up and get faster slowly and even out once you're exerting yourself and its not too uncomfortable.

Ask your parents to get you a book called "boost your brain". It is from a man with 25 years experience. It is one of the best books on becoming smarter. Follow this simple strategy of his and in a few months you will feel insanely better even despite how good your exercise is already making you feel. On top of this, there are guides on google and youtube by college professors on how to study effectively enough to pass college. There is a book called "How to read" which levels up reading skills far beyond college level.

*continued

>>18262908
So as you can see, you can start a snowball effect where you'll start feeling amazing. The weight loss. Then the exercise. Then boost your brain. Etc And that'll lead to you becoming curious to find other self improvement stuff that will make your life better. Which is a great snowball effect in itself.

I have more to say to you so I continue this post again

I got lucky and met some people who are almost world class at certain skills. After their philosophy on improvement was shared with me, I realized that with the right mentality and approach to getting good, I could get good at anything I wanted. And they believed in me and knew that I could do it.
So I tell you truly. I started with no confidence in myself. Now I am a man who can get good at anything I want. And you can too. Easily. The right mentality is all you need. You can easily make the money you need. You can easily overcome ever obstacle in your life right now.

There is a story you should know. About mining for diamonds. A bunch of men mined and mined but after a long time they lost all hope and gave up. And little did they know, that the diamonds were 10 feet from where they stopped digging. Right now you are mining, and those diamonds will pull you out of this rut like you wouldn't believe. You'll become so successful with the right mentality that you'll make up for all the lost years by living a more fulfilling life than most people dream to have.

It is no coincidence that this all happened to me after I started making GOD the focus of my life. So I know GOD as real. So I know if you kill yourself, you won't like where you're headed. https://www.biblegateway.com/ and the new testament is what you should study first. Make each lesson a habit that you live. Seek his kingdom and righteousness above all else. Now you will have the supernatural backing you up to fix your life as well.

Continued 1 last time

>>18262903
>>18262908
>>18262912
I'll take your advice then. You eem to be very helpful..thanks anon.

>>18262572
Killing yourself will bring about more pain than living off your aunt. Please don't do it OP, there is always a way to help yourself!!!

>>18262912
There is a special prayer in the bible jesus said to use that I used many times where my soul was weighed like an anchor with misery. Every time i said this prayer, chills went through me and I felt all of my pain lifted away when NOTHING else worked at all. It is the lords prayer. Google "the Lords prayer" and say it outloud when you feel bad. It starts as "Our father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name" That will be the one.

Can't stress this enough. Make a list of all the things the bible is asking of you to get into heaven. And practice being aware of all of those things. You don't want to read the bible and then forget about it and not apply it. It is necessary to apply it to get eternal life.

If reading it is hard now, wait until your self improvement stuff has made you much better at reading and studying. Just skim the pages for now.

These are important intentions to know that you should practice being aware of and committing to

1. To seek gods kingdom and righteousness above all else
2.To repent
3 To become a disciple of jesus
4. To love jesus and god with all your heart and soul and mind
5. To do GODS will and to learn what this means

FINALLY, you mention you're stuck at a warehouse job. Do this. Google "Top 10 best job hunting websites"This shows you sites with thousands of jobs you qualify for that pay way more and you can apply online.

Your anxiety will go down tremendously after you do all this. So you'll be able to pass your drivers test. It took me until my early 20s to have the courage to even try to pass mine. My anxiety was out of control. Trust me. It's actually really ridiculously easy. You're in your own head about it. Have your test when traffic is easy. If its too much, wait until the improvement has happened with the other stuff. You'll eventually pass it no problem.

I have one last thing to share.

>>18262500
Fuck suicide
Join the military
Infantry at least will take you

If you're really suicidal, then it's no problem
If you don't die, you'll have more money than you know what to do with

>>18262990
You said you never completed your education. I can show you how to get a GED which will set you up for college. This is the website for the GED https://ged.com/ This technically equals a highschool diploma. Do this, and you can get into college. Get a GED book from 2017. This website has practice tests that are equally as hard as the real GED. They actually tell you if you're ready. Once you pass them you can set up an appointment to have a GED test taken from that websites and can have somebody drive you there to take it. Or you can wait until you get the license.

The GED is multiple choice and requires almost no knowledge unless it's the math section. And the math lets you use a calculator for almost everything. Because each GED test question mainly lists a passage, with the answer being obvious in the passage. You need almost no deductive skills at all to find it. You can also miss a lot of questions and still pass. To pass the essay, learn the requirements they ask of you to have a passing essay. Memorize them and practice doing essays with each thing from their scoring list being used. The essays were not hard. You can do it.

After the GED, you'll have to go through a phase in college where they level up your skills to base level requirements to start college for real. Do not worry. With your improvement snowball effect you'll eventually be ready by then to destroy those classes. Then you'll be ready to destroy college. Nothing is going to stop you.

Check to see if there are services in your area that work with people with mental health issues to help them get a job. I had a place like this over here. That'll help you get your foot in the door.

This is all the advice I have to give. From one person to another, I love you, and I wish you the best. GOD is there to help you. Jesus is there to help you. You're not alone. You can do anything you want in life. I hope you have a great night. Take care.

>>18262500
>no sharp objects
>charge cops with a knife
doesn't add up
and where could you be anyway that doesn't have ANY sharp objects?

>>18262996
Here. I forgot some extremely important things.

At your weight, it is very possible that you have sleep apnea. This is what I had. Sleep apnea is where your throat closes so much during sleep that you don't breath sometimes and have to gasp to breathe. When my sleep apnea was untreated, I felt significantly worse. Eventually when you get the money and opportunity, go see a doctor about having a sleep study done. I think you might also be at risk of other health conditions contributing to how bad you are feeling. You might have sleep apnea and various other things. This is why it is so incredibly crucial to lose the weight and get in shape.

One important thing I forgot to mention about the bible. It is EXTREMELY important, like one of the biggest requirements, to BELIEVE in jesus. To believe that he died for your sins. To believe that he can save you and through him give you eternal life.
More driving advice.What you do is you go practice the easiest less intimidating things first. Like parking in a huge parking lot with no other cars. When you park, be on the outside of where you want to turn in. Like if you want to park in a space on the right, go out as far left as you can and then turn in. That's the secret to parking. Go to the DMV and practice doing the parallel park on their parallel parking thing. You can practice a lot of things in their parking lot until it feels easy.You practice passing other cars by going out where there is almost no traffic and slower roads where you can pass more easily. Then work your way up to faster roads.

To control your anxiety better at the test, practice deep breathing to calm you down. It works. You breath in slowly for 7 seconds. Hold for 4. Release for 8. Repeat until you're fine. That calms me down very quickly

Make sure to study the drivers manual so you know the basic information they want you to know to pass the written test. Once your studying ability improves from the snowball effect you can do this.

>>18262572
>I want to die so life can be better for her, stealing the money isn't going to help that.
killing yourself isn't going to help that either, she's going to be incredibly sad and likely blame herself, no matter what you do

>>18262645
you'd need actual money to get a climbing or construction rope, although I'm not sure it actually needs to hold you up

If you're willing to stay alive a little longer but willing to do something differently, you should teach literary English in South Korea.
You clearly know how to put an English sentence together, you're mindful of grammar and punctuation, and you're sentence flow displays nicely.

There is very little work involved in teaching English to kindergardeners in South Korea.

Look up ESLcafe for job postings.

Believe me, it may seem daunting, but getting out of the U.S. and doing something out of your comfort zone is a phenomenal feeling.

Let me know if you (or anyone else) has questions that I can help with.


Good luck.

>>18262995
>Infantry at least will take you

Infantry doesn't mean the same thing it used to mean; Uncle Sam has standards now. It used to mean you got drafted and thrown straight to the front line, because real troops are more valuable to your government than you are.

If a person is enough of a failure to want suicide, then no they cannot just walk right in and sign up. Being suicidal is a pretty damn easy way to not make the cut.

>>18263081
Well don't fucking walk up and be like "Hey I want to die, can you help me?"

Smile and put on a normie face while you do 20 pushups to show that you can hack it

>>18263080
>in South Korea

Have fun working until midnight.

>hey America, how many levels of cuck are you on?
>idunno, 4 or 5
>haha watch this
>SK run by a feminist cabal of puppets who gets their marching orders from financial interests and displays effectively no concern for the war which never actually ended
>longer working hours than Japan

>>18263080
but I don't know Korean
I don't even know Japanese, can't I work in Japan instead
Korea has really high fucking standards on everything

>>18262500
Life is hard.
Life is hard, in large part, because it's complicated, but you can use that to your advantage. Since life is complicated, there is always an exception. There is always a way out.
Your way out will involve talking to people and it'll involve chemical help and it'll involve time and effort and first of all it'll involve being a little bit optimistic-- just a little. You don't have to be sunshine and rainbows, you don't need to turn over a whole new leaf (now or possibly ever), you don't even need to stop wanting to kill yourself just yet, you just need to have some hope for the future, and the slightest, just the very slightest amount of trust that things will get better. If you can find that in yourself, you can move to the next day, the next hour, the next person, the next job, the next whatever until you get all of the help you need and the solutions you need.
If you had an incurable untreatable terminal illness, I might say, "yeah, here's a good method, I hope you find peace at the end", but depression is treatable, and
>I have no education
>I have no friends
>I have no skills
are all fixable.
I know it's hard, I've been there, I'll spare you the cringey details.
Please make the effort.

>>18263070
Here. Man I just keep coming up with some stuff to help you. I'm pretty sure this will be it though.

While you lose the weight, google what a healthy weight range is for you. You don't want to lose too much or too little. You feel the best at a healthy one..

After you've started running, the next step is to work your way up to training. Training on a fitness routine that gives you an ideal state of health that regular exercise doesn't give. A good fitness routine uses the best exercises to get you as fit as possible. Select the results you want on how you want to look and what physical attributes you want, then pick the exercises and routines that make that happen the fastest. So start reading into this later once you've made a lot of progress. It's just as hard as regular exercise but it gives you significantly better health benefits. /fit/ sticky helps
Another important thing is that my doctor told me that just simply WALKING for 30 minutes actually makes you feel much better all day. Scientifically proven. So when your weight goes down, just walking 30 min will make huge difference.

The brain boost book is here https://www.amazon.com/Boost-Your-Brain-Enhanced-Performance/dp/0062199277

The book on having reading comprehension way past college level is here

https://www.amazon.com/How-Read-Book-Classic-Intelligent/dp/B0092GBLHY/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1493269969&sr=1-3&keywords=how+to+read+a+book

Decent GED books to study from are listed on the GED website. Look those up to study from too.

Finally if you want to do college, when you get to college make sure you make the right choice on what you want to do. Do research and see what you want to do. Don't end up as a statistic of ppl who are in debt doing something they thought they wanted to do that ended up being something they didn't like or was a bad idea. Check out youtube vids and guides on this.

There are also guides on how to get a job as effectively as possible. Check those out.

>>18263113
>Korea has really high fucking standards on everything

Korea:
>work 16 hours a day
>everything costs 5x as much
>even more xenophobic than Japan
>potentially the epicenter of WW3
>folks eat spoiled cabbage and smell accordingly
>run by banks
>no, they do not actually like people who play videogames all their lives

Japan:
>work 13 hours a day
>everything costs 10x as much
>there will be hoes, but not bros
>might get nuked again if kimjong actually figures his missiles out someday
>short man syndrome: the country
>run by gangsters
>no, they do not actually like people who watch TV all their lives

Have you considered traveling a shorter distance? Try 100 km before you try 1000+ km.

>>18263119
Nope, still have more advice for you.

The /fit/ sticky will give you a better idea on how to train properly. Later once you've improved you'll know how to seek to train properly and you'll read up and study that. As a general rule, go to the most reputable sources you can. Go to people who know what they're talking about of places with a great reputation on knowledge you want to know.

MAKE SURE that you save everything I have said here on your computer. Copy and paste the advice of everything you got here from everyone to a document on your computer so you can look at it everyday. Save it to your desktop so that you can see the document so it isn't buried in your computer where you won't be bothered to look for it. Don't let this thread disappear and forget all this. This advice can save your life and make you one of the most successful people alive.

One last book you can try that one friend of mine credits much to their success in life is called "The 7 habits of highly effective people" This friend of mine is on book covers. I have not read this myself but it might be worth a read way down the road.

I'm sure past this point any crucial advice or etc will be eventually found out by you. So now I truly leave. Take care OP.

>>18263113 I spent two years in South Korea, teaching English to 7 and 8 year olds. You are not expected to know Korean, nor will it be pertinent to your success. Korean standards are not held to foreigners. Please believe me, going to South Korea as a 21 year old was daunting, but leaving as a 23 year old gave me perspective and insight into facets of life and diversity that I had never considered before. If you have more questions, my email is lacrosseteacup@gmail. I am more than happy to give you any advice.

>>18263137
The /fit/ sticky is broken bro.

/fit/ is basically the sticky, plus memes and the same non-conversation as any other board here. Consider visiting other websites. Preferably ones that don't have 'chan' in their name.

>>18263140
Mostly true, but you'll still look and feel like a cunt.

OP would just be living the same lifestyle he already has, and hating it even more than before.

>>18263150
I don't want to give off the impression that I am insulting you, but you clearly lack the experience to give an insightful and helpful response on the subject on teaching in South Korea.

I am trying to give genuine advice to someone who needs it.

Let him decide what to do. All we should do is provide honest feedback and make clear options that he has to choose from.

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What if they shoot you in the dick tho

>>18262500
Nick Vujicic.
Look him up.
Born with no arms/legs.
Got degree, drives a car, has a girlfriend. If this dude can do something, then you are capable of much more.

>>18262500
I think I'm going with hanging when I'm exiting. Apparently if you hang in a way that cuts of blood flow to your brain without strangling you you will pass out in ~15 seconds and be dead within minutes, and no panic thanks to being able to breathe a little. It doesn't sound very painful.

>>18262500
You don't come here to actually get information on suicide you're just here to whine you attention whoring faggot go kill yourself oh wait you're too much of a pussy to do that.

>>18262500
What you want to research is 'exit cocktail'
The required medications can be ordered from online pharmacies and other online sources with a bit of research.

If you have nothing to lose you have many options, you have nothing keeping you in the situation you are so dissatisfied with but yourself, stop blaming externalities, you could go anywhere and do anything, surely there is something you want to see or do before kicking it?
You can start over as many times as you like, you have nothing but your misery keeping you put, break out of it, change everything you can change and keep what you derive any joy or satisfaction from, try everything you want.

If you are suffering with no way out and nothing to look forward to but more suffering you can always research the exit cocktail, just don't act on a whim, if you want to consistently end yourself for years on end you can start to seriously consider it, malaise is not enough to warrant suicide.