I'm in my first year of university They have tests, I average

What do you have trouble with specifically? Can you show an example of your writing? Can you ask a teacher to walk you through your grade and why you got what you did?

Get friends, teachers, study groups, etc. to read them back to you and give feedback until you get it right.

go to office hours
set up an appointment with your teacher or hire tutor

File: Untitled.png (19KB, 716x217px) Image search: [Google]

19KB, 716x217px

>>18262023
Introductory paragraph

>>18262029
I wish I could anon.

File: Untitled.png (65KB, 905x528px) Image search: [Google]

65KB, 905x528px

>>18262023
Feedback specifically about the introduction

>>18262011
>essay
You have to keep text flow, separate it to chapters, have good introduction and god tier summary at the end.

The theachers job is to teach you. Take your essay with bad score, and go to your teacher who did the scoring in his open doors time (office hours?) and ask him what you are doing wrong. That you need tips.

Godspeed op!

Read the research literature of your field of study. Copy the style of what you read.

>>18262045
It's annoying because I want to major in economics, I don't need this bullshit marketing

I can probably put aside a few hours to read some essays

>>18262088
>economics
If you manage to land job in that area, your job will be basically writing essays whole day every day or talk to people you hate nonstop or combination of both.

Good luck op!

>>18262088
do you like econometrics?

>>18262031
Don't be so repetitive when writing (firstly, secondly, thirdly) - use synonyms. And try to avoid saying things like "this essay will...", it's okay to say it in your head as you go to help you remember what to write but phrase those sentences without it.

Compare the first paragraph in this https://www.mesacc.edu/~paoih30491/ArgumentEssay1.pdf to what you wrote. Also keep in mind to vary the sentence structure, use longer sentences at times and shorter sentences at other times unless you're specifically trying to draw a parallel between two things.

There's honestly a lot more to go into than that, your writing is not good at all right now. But there's a wealth of information out there about writing. Look into what it takes to have a successful blog too, you have to write compellingly and interestingly, and above all be easy to read.

>>18262031
Don't say shit like "this essay" and "that essay". Write it like an actual essay, not like a damn presentation. Don't use firstly, secondly, thirdly. Read REAL essays (ask your instructor for some) and model yours after it. Follow format:
>Introduction with a single, clear thesis statement
>Body paragraph 1 leading into..
>Body paragraph 2 leading into..
>Body paragraph 3
>conclusion

Getting the formula down for essays isn't hard. The only challenging parts should be what you're writing about.

Also, your grammar is very poor. There are comma splices and sentence fragments. Both are big time no-no's.

Multiple time essay contest winner here.

http://slatestarcodex.com/2016/02/20/writing-advice/ some of this won't apply to essay writing but this is really good general advice

>>18262031
Your sentence structure is really bad desu. Go to the TAs office hours and ask for help/get them to look over rough drafts with you to make them better. Generally if the marker knows you you get better marks because through talking to them they'll know what message you're trying to convey. You're already paying their salary so use the resource!