My husband hates me

I already hate you too

You could either kill yourself or kill him

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Awe man, it is easy to hate when you're living in your moms basement. You steal her SS checks too?

Is taking care of someone really that hate inducing?

>>18261170
Your husband is a man. Tell him his job is to be a stay at home DAD not a housewife. It sounds like you became the stereotypical browbeaten husband. Life is crazy huh?

>>18261205
Dude, The fucking fights that statement starts is unreal.

>>18261170
I would hug him, prepare myself for good old violence and tell him I wont let him go until he tells me what is fucking wrong.

Push him until he finally stop controlling himself and either breaks down crying or starts breaking things around him. Probably have kids out of house at that time.

My guess is he cheated you, feels emasculated cause no job, lost all his money or got cancer.

>>18261234
I've been doing that stuff for 7 years.....At what point do I just give up. I have resigned myself to paying child support and alimony.

Marriage counseling. Even if he won't go, you go yourself. It can help a lot by uncovering things that weren't apparent to one spouse or helping them air their grievances and fix their own problems that add to whatever's going wrong.

>>18261258
Are you telling me he is behaving like madman for 7 years and you decided to seek solution NOW?

Do his relatives know he behaves like this? Drugs? Therapy? Sex? Schyzo? Bipolar? Proffesional help?

Bait?

>>18261269
Yup for 7 years. Nope not bait.
He has no family that he cares to know. Refuses to even speak of them and gets mad when it is brought up. We don't drink. We used to smoke pot but that was in the way back time. Maybe depressed.
Just got this email from him.
The only place I am going today is back to bed to weep and pray for death as I've done all fucking day so I can get up sometime tonight to clean before I have to deal with more shit tomorrow.

Probably because he's a fucking man, who is dependant of you. Men aren't supposed to be dependant.
He's probably also a fucked up bipolar depressed schitzo

>>18261291
>not bait
So tell us, what sort of thinking woman like you use to tolerate such bullshit from her husband and even has 3 kids with him to boot?

And still, my advice holds. Make him rage so much he will spill truth on floor. Or you can try get proffesional help. Call mental ward and tell them your husband went full crazy.

>>18261170
Try actually asking him what he wants to do for once instead of being a manipulative bitch.

>>18261317
Have daughters that I don't want to end up on a pole and have a son I don't want to end up smoking the pole. Figure disfunctional relationship is better that shit single family home.
>>18261323
Manipulative how?
I've asked him if he wants to go back to school. Lets pay for your certs.... Maybe later.
Please see a medical professional I'm worried about your mental health.

>>18261317
Worried I'll end up with a child molester if we separate.I have trust issues surrounding my kids.
Husband not a cheater, gambler, drinker or molester. Lesser of two evils I guess.

>>18261170
Welcome to the mans role in marriage

>>18261389
Welcome?
Dude, I've been here 8 years. It's a little late foe welcomes.

>>18261308
Humans dont arent really a part of the animal kingdom kiddo

>>18261379
But still, he behaves like psycho. Why are you trying to solve it THIS LATE?

Do you know you can go to proffesional mental doctor and describe to him your husband symptoms? How does he function with kids? Why doesnt he work? Can he at least cook?

You see, you wouldnt make this thread if you were content with your situation. You clearly dont like this.

I am not telling you to divorce. But there are other options. Maybe his issues are possible to solve. But it requires you to make unconventional steps.

Start by talking to specialist and if it needs to be, let him be dragged to mental ward.

>>18261394

How's your sex life? Is it possible he feels trapped because he doesnt want to leave the children?

>>18261394
Then remind him he's your bitch

>>18261373
It sounds like your husband is feeling emasculated and insecure as a result. The non traditional dynamic of your relationship you describe is pretty common with the problems you mention. Its obvious Your husband simply stopped the courting because of this emasculation and simply wants to feel like a man and play more of a masculine role than he currently is. a man is man afterall, just like a woman is a woman.

This sounds really tough.

Sounds like he's depressed. Has he always been like this?

Maybe he needs to see someone to talk to.

Maybe he just needs a vacation.

Maybe he resents you from "going out and having a career" while he's "stuck home with the kids"

Maybe he doesn't feel as though it's a boon to be a stay at home parent but a burden.

Maybe he needs some exercise, new diet or just some "personal time".

Ask him what would make him happy.

Maybe meditation would help. There are a few free apps out there that will guide you though easy meditations even with no experience. It's extremely centering.

Make sure you preface it with the fact that you're on the same team.

Maybe he just wants to feel listened to instead of "problem solved". Sometimes its better to just listen and tell them you're here to help if he needs it. Let him come to you.

Practice active listening.

>>18261400
We used to bang all the time. Now he shoots me down constantly.
>>18261399
He does good. Normally cooks and cleans and works with the kids on school work and taekwondo so they can get good at it.

>>18261373
>making a suggestion for what you want him to do
manipulative bitch. Try asking what he wants to do.

>>18261423
Those are the things he has said in the past he wanted to do. I ask him if he wants out or if he wants me to leave. No no.
>>18261418
He could definitely use some exercise but refuses to leave the house to do so.
He has mostly been like this for the last 7 years. We are on the same team. We are Jimzy.
I know we have non traditional gender roles but he is good with running the home and paying the bills while I'm good at making the money.
I have asked him if he wants to work even just part time just to make himself feel better and to make some friends but he says nothing suites him.

>>18261414
This, when guys play Mr Mom a lot feel emasculated they fight it for a wile. Be very careful because one way to feel like a man is to bury your dick in another woman. Some take to drinking. You gotta let him be a man. Instead of saying what you'll do, say you'll do anything he wants. Play up that submissive role. Throw some "Daddy"s and "Sir"s in there. Before you do thought read up about how to submit, and how not to top from the bottom. It's not as simple as it sounds. You have to let him take his balls back. Not give but let him take.

>>18261170
I've been there, and look this is going to sound weird but hear me out. Most men like to feel needed. If you're bringing in the money, he probably feels emasculated, but he wants to take care of you. Start doing thinks like shitting yourself and eating bugs. He will then feel like he has to pay attention to you and things will end up swimmingly, since he feels needed.

>>18261470
Gotta say, I have gotten a lot of advice but yours is the only one I have not tried. Maybe that is the way to go. Shit maybe I should just quit my job and be an adult baby.

>>18261441
He doesn't need to leave the house to excercise. He can do body weight fitness, or HIIT, or treadmill, or weights @ home.

Again, you're making suggestions to him. Ask him what will make him happy rather than making suggestions. Don't expect an answer immediately; ask him to think about it. read: ask, not tell.

>>18261478
Jim?

>>18261491
Pamela?

>>18261478
Would not fucking talking to the big baby work?
Cause apparently everything that comes out of my mouth is manipulative.
How 'bout I don't fucking care what he wants. no one cares what he wants. he's a fucking adult.
Fuck! If I am so manipulative why the fuck doesn't he just fucking leave?

>>18261506
Nope.

>>18261515
Woah there nelly.

Not saying you're manipulative like some other anons were.

If you don't care what he wants though, why are you in the marriage?

Trying to work through things together is one thing but if you're no longer a team and don't care what eachother want, theres a bigger issue at play.

I'd suggest going to couples counseling.

At the end of the day it has to work for BOTH of you. You don't have to be a martyr here. If you're at the end of your rope, then you're at the end of your rope, and you have to worry about yourself too.

>>18261531
At the end of the day it has to work for BOTH of you. You don't have to be a martyr here. If you're at the end of your rope, then you're at the end of your rope, and you have to worry about yourself too.
That's some profound shit. Made me cry. Maybe I am at the end of my rope.

>>18261170
Maybe he's bipolar and doesn't even know it

Even if he does hate you, that's not how you interact with another person

>>18261540

The way you feel is valid and important. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

I hope you are able to find happiness whether it's in the form of working things out with your husband (with or without counseling) or otherwise.

>>18261515
Yeah you need a mirror.

>>18261170
He found out you slutted off outside the marraige or he suspects it and is convinced its true after scrutinizing all the potential and non likely coincedental evidence.

Why the fuck did you do it? Broads these days...

>>18261373
Wrong. A disfunctional family unit is worse for the children than that of a fuctional single parent family unit.

Dr. Phil said that. Hey call Dr. Phil? I bet he would invite you onto the show. Save your sacred marraige woman!

>>18261421
Oooohhhhh shit.... Erectile dysfunction maybe? Its fucked with his emotions and confidence.

>>18261476
Just eat the bugs.

Sounds like your husband has some growing mental health issues, OP.

Daily reminder that 100% of /adv/ OPs are making shit up and desperate for attention.

>>18261540
Your not at the end of your rope if you havent tried with every fiber of your being to explore every single option available to saving your marraige. A surgeon whose patient goes flatline for 10 mins straight is at the end of his (that) rope.

>>18262268
I doubt 100%

>>18262223
Dr Phil is an eating disorder specialist.

>>18262402
Moron confirmed.

>>18261291
You shouldn't have to clean if he's a house husband.

It really sounds like he's spending way too much time alone and probably feeling insecure about his lack of activity and life outside the house.

Unfortunately he's one of the majority of people who take out their insecurities on their partner. It'll be hard to do since he6s being such an asshole, but try to let him know how much you appreciate what he does for the kids, that you know he works hard at it and is good at it. He needs some self esteem, even if he doesn't deserve compliments.

I've seen it happen where a person works and the person at home thinks they're out having a great day while they're stuck at home.

He really does need exercise to reduce depression and feel like he's achieving something (like a lot of others have said here.) It's really hard to get someone to do that. Just a 30min walk a day would make a world of difference and get him started.