Weed & relationships

>>18260712
The ony viable solution here is to break up OP. And don't bother communicating with her before that. It will only make this worse

>I take great care to smoke responsibly; I never smoke when I might have to drive, never when I have work the next morning, never to avoid dealing with something painful or difficult, and never before our son (3 y.o.) goes to bed. I smoke maybe 3-5 times a month, and a 1/4-oz lasts me well over a year, sometimes a year and a half.

I'm literally stoned all the time.
What's she complaining about lmao

>>18260712
>gaslighting me

Jesus christ. Why is this such a buzzword on 4chan.

What fucking world do ya'll live in. Serious... stop... Half of ya'll don't know wtf that even means...

Anyway.

>So... what do? How can I talk to her in a way that's respectful of what she's gone through but also firm about my own usage?

Two things:
1.) Relationships are about compromise.
2.) Actions speak louder than words.

You promise to cutback or take a break, show her it's not a big deal to you. And then do it. And then she knows it's different for you, and you get to smoke without there being shit tons of drama.

>>18260712
Tell her she's wrong and do what you want.

>>18260759
This

>>18260714
>>18260764
avoid at all times


>>18260719
an actual addict, i would know because im the same way.

>>18260759
Trying to convince someone they're addicted to something (when they aren't) is 100% gaslighting

> She was in a long-term relationship with a hardcore alcoholic before

>been smoking weed recreationally for about twice that

whats next for this chick? fucking women I swear to you.

>>18260847
>Trying to convince someone they're addicted to something (when they aren't) is 100% gaslighting

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslighting
>A form of manipulation that seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or members of a group, hoping to make targets question their own memory, perception, and sanity. Using persistent denial, misdirection, contradiction, and lying, it attempts to destabilize the target and delegitimize the target's belief

>Sociopaths and narcissists frequently use gaslighting tactics. Sociopaths consistently transgress social mores, break laws, and exploit others, but typically also are convincing liars, sometimes charming ones, who consistently deny wrongdoing. Thus, some who have been victimized by sociopaths may doubt their own perceptions.

>The narcissist’s ultimate goal is to make you second guess every choice of yours and question your sanity, making you more dependent on them.


Yes.

Being worried that your current boyfriend may be an addict--like her last one was--is the exact same thing as what's described above.

Exactly.

100% Gas lightning.

Fucking 4chan -.-

>>18260986
I believe I said very clearly that she ISN'T gaslighting me. Go back, read the OP, it's there.

But I HAVE been in a relationships before where my partner told me she thought I was addicted, and it WAS a calculated attempt to manipulate me. In which case it WAS gaslighting.

>>18260995
>I believe I said very clearly that she ISN'T gaslighting me. Go back, read the OP, it's there.

My rant was about gas lighting and it being a buzzword in general. Because it's getting fucking annoying hearing it.

Read the rest of the advice, THAT was the part meant for you.

>>18260995
Multiple people say you are an addict? Why don't you ask your gf why she thinks you are one. Clearly you are in her eyes.

>>18260712
If she was okay with it in the past but now isn't what or why is that? You have a son, is she worried that now he is aware enough to find out you smoke? Did she hope that you would just keep cutting back and quit smoking altogether as you got older? If it is illegal where you are at is that making her uneasy?
If you only smoke 3 to 5 times a month and a fourth of an ounce would last you a year that means you are smoking very very little at a time, a couple hits.
Does she drink or use anything at all anymore?
I dislike drug comparisons but I would consider marijuans usage like you described to ordering one or two beers most of the time that you went out to dinner.
Gotta talk to her and try to get her perspective and more importantly show her others.

Do you take care of your life? You're not an addict. You could smoke weed all day every day, but as long as you function then you're not an addict.

Addict doesn't mean you do it frequently. In fact, most addicts do not get to do their addiction frequently, which is why they have to resort to crimes like theft to get their substance. Being an addict means you cannot function.

We eat food every day. Are we all food addicts? No. Being a food addict would mean that you cannot function and all you do it is try to eat food.

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>>18260712

>>18260712
>1/4-oz lasts me well over a year
Dude if that's true you are not addicted. Not even close. I'm guessing you smoke exceedingly rarely... how often do you?

>>18260759
>You promise to cutback or take a break, show her it's not a big deal to you. And then do it. And then she knows it's different for you, and you get to smoke without there being shit tons of drama.

This seems like a good move here. Sucks that that you have to but relationships require compromise and are absolutely worth it.

>>18260712
>7 grams last me well over a year
what the fuck dude; I'm a total addict since I plow through a gram a week or two weeks (depends on my cash situation, when the cash is flowing, like last week, I had 5 grams for myself and the chick I'm trying to get with)

>>18260712
You gotta start selling then OP, I go through 1/4 a week on my own and it ends up being free. Just buy a half oz at bulk price and sell it at twice what you bought it for per gram.

The bitch is crazy btw you should ditch

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If smoking weed is not such a big deal to you, so much so that it takes you a fucking year to smoke a quarter, then why don't you just quit all together to ease her mind?

Also are you sure you typed that right? 1/4 oz in a year? I would think the weed would be old and smoke bad after all that time.

>>18260712

>tfw trying to stop all substances for good but every girl you meet smokes a ton of weed

Count your blessings, your gf cares about you.

>>18260712
>I smoke maybe 3-5 times a month, and a 1/4-oz lasts me well over a year, sometimes a year and a half.
Fuck. You are the most responsible smoker I've ever heard of. Is this bait?

Show her a quarter of weed and a fifth (shit, even a gallon) of booze. Tell her:
>I'm touched that you're concerned, and I know you've been burned by substance abuse in the past.
>The two amounts of drugs you see here are about equivalent
>If it takes me over a year to finish this bottle, am I abusing it? Am I dependent?

That said, substance abuse is probably NOT the root of her anxiety, just easiest to point a finger at.