So i need feedback on my poem i wrote for my crush

I literally felt my testicles retract into my body.

But this isn't the 1800s.

I beg you OP, dont send this to her.

You will feel humiliated when she laughs in your face

Gaaaaaaaaay

Just dont senpai

Don't send a poem please. Let her know face to face that you like her and want to go out.

Change it, make it better

>>18259118
wtf im gay now

>>18259118
If I had a pussy it would now be dry

reads like a letter, not a poem

and write it on paper, digital is a mistake for this kind of crap

>>18259118
Grammar and spelling errors aside, send this if you hand write it by candlelight on parchment with a quill or at least a fountain pen and seal it with wax (if you don't have a crest, your initials will do I guess). The important thing is to hand deliver it to her pillow while she sleeps so it's the first thing she sees when she awakens. Also, steal one of her earrings and pierce your ear with it.

>>18259195
As a woman, I hate to be mean, but this.
>Alas
>yearns
>the grammar and spelling errors
Just express your feelings to her another way

Dude just say "I think you are cute do you want to be my girlfriend"
This is lame

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Holy shit that was atrocious.
Super quintessential, basic, effort lacking poem.
Actually put some work into it numbnuts.

>>18259118
it's a good thing you asked for advice because sending that would've been a huge mistake

>>18259118
I like it.

Do it OP

>>18259118
Christ that's awful

>>18259118
delet this

Just fucking ask her out

>>18259118
JUST KISS OP, DON'T FUCKING DO THIS.

ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS, GET OUT THERE AND KISS HER

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>>18259118
>now able to face my fears for you
>which is why i am sending this anonymously

bruh.

>>18259118
Wut? Just send the first couple sentences. Stop right before Alas. After that you go creep.

God damn, at least make it rhyme.

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>>18259287

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Pic related will be you in 5-10 years.
Please, for the love of god. Don't do this to yourself.

>>18259118
You have something in common with Walt Whitman, you're both gay.

>>18259118
OP I know it sounds like a really good idea, but poems always and I mean ALWAYS come across way too strong.
I'll admit that I asked a girl out with a poem once, but I already knew that she was interested. If you don't know then I would not recommend.
Poems are great for telling your already SO something, not really for a first encounter.
Also I would not recommend asking her out anonymously like it seems that you want to do in the poem. Most girls appreciate confrontation and doing it anonymously would honestly be way more awkward than if you just continued without having ever asked her out in the first place.

Just talk to her about it. Ask her on a date. When you do, be prepared with:
1. A time and place (have it in mind but be flexible)
2. What to do at this place with the time you have (remember that you don't have to giver her a life changing experience, just talking and having a meal or something is TOTALLY fine. I strongly suggest that you don't go to a movie until the third or fourth date because although it's nice quality time, you don't get to learn anything about the other person. There isn't enough interpersonal interaction)
3. And finally, some courtesy. She's just a normal person and probably wants to be treated as such.

Don't worry about rejection, anon. Seriously.
Even if she declines, as long as you are able to shake it off then her view of you won't be lessened at all.
Don't think that you're doing her any disservice if she turns you down, either.
It is very flattering to be asked on a date. It serves as a compliment at its core.
If she treats you poorly in any way because you asked her out, then she isn't someone you want to be in a relationship with anyway.

Side note: Although you're completely sold on you two being together right now, she might not be.
Try to understand that this might be the first time that she has thought about the two of you in a romantic context, you have to ease her in.

Good luck, I hope it turns out well.

>>18259118
At least mention details of the first time you met her, and what specifically about her draws you

>>18259118
>poem I wrote for my crush

Don't even need to read shit. Those times are long gone OP, they are never coming back. All women want now is sustenance and a big cock to keep them satisfied, the rest is extra. Don't be like Garrett

>>18259255
I giggled

>>18259118
If you need to write a huge poem to get a girl, then you have already failed

NO. DO NOT SEND!

NO, DON'T DO IT. Poems are like the worst thing you could do! They're just so creepy.

>>18259118
I both admire your passion and balls to make a complete cringler out of yourself, and strongly advise to reconsider the anon part, as well as friend part. Also, phrasing?

>>18259118
That's not even a poem.

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>>18259927
Jesus, it isn't

Definitely send it OP. She will be impressed by your courage and literary aptitude.

As someone who has done something similar in the past:

Don't do it anon.

Don't one sided dump a fucking waterfall of overwhelming pent up emotion on her.
Don't go from 0 to fucking 120.
Don't ambush her with feelings that have boiling inside of you for weeks/months/years while she has never had a single clue that it's been going on.

These kind of emotions are supposed to be built up slowly, mutually, not fucking one sidedly dumped from one person to another.

Even if she DID like you, this shit is too much and she would feel overwhelmed as fuck, and would feel awkward as fuck because she just wouldn't be able to keep up to the level you've already built yourself at.

And even ignoring all that, how the fuck is she supposed to respond to that? "Wow... thanks?"

This shit is just awkward from angle you think of it.


If you want to do anything, just ask her out for a fucking coffee or something.

If this shit works out after 6 months of dating, or maybe an entire year, THEN maybe you can pull this out and say, "I was crazy in love with you even back then", and it might kind of come off sweet... but right now... it's just too much.

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>>18259958
This is the single smartest thing anyone has ever posted on this board.
Listen to this anon.

>>18259118
uhhh don't do it you'll look like a loser.

Shit, never write anything ever again OP.

FTFY:

> Roses are red,
> Voilets are blue,
> I am a faget
> who will never fuck you

>>18259197
Prose poems in letter form are a type of poem called an epistle (although epistles aren't always in prose, e.g., a few of Ezra Pound's Cantos).

That being said the poem is complete shit. Send it OP, please.

>>18259159

Yeah this anon is completely right, do NOT send a random poem to her without even asking her out or getting her attention. It is not a good idea at all, this isn't a movie!

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>>18260390
How much weight do you put on the original intent of the poet versus what you get out of it? I recently started reading poetry and struggle with feeling that I don't extract the intended message. That expectations seems to run contrary to the idea of poetry being a personal experience which has "no wrong answer". Will this ability to understand the deeper context that was intended naturally develop with time or is it something that I need to actively work on cultivating?

Also, pls do send that poem OP

>>18260404

>the idea of poetry being a personal experience which has "no wrong answer"

Completely wrong bullshit propagated by lim wristed teachers that refuse to give a failing grade

Poetry is as much an art as prose, and requires a great amount of fine tuning and polish. It's also work to understand, you won't intuitively "get it" the same way you can't intuitively "get" a painting. You can get some superficial satisfaction from parts that you can appreciate as a pleb, but that's not actually appreciating the art of it.

Yes, it's a skill you can develop, completely separate from the ability to actually write it. The only way is to work on your appraisal.

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>>18260408

What importance do you put on the subjective interpretation of art? Do you think it is a failure to understand the true context? I agree that art is largely objective in its message but is the personal interpretation devoid of any importance?

Thanks for explaining that, definitely makes sense when you contrast it with a painting. What would be the best way to work on strengthening my appraisal of a poem? Would it be to learn and research literary tools and their role in a poem? Right now I read a poem and attempt to understand its meaning before I research its true meaning online. Is that a good method? Which did you employ?

>>18260404
I'm the guy you replied to. This >>18260408 is a good answer.

I'd also supplement that if you're very interested in reading poetry that the best way to gain an introduction to poetry is by reading an introduction to poetry.

I used a few for classes in college (plz don't bully I was a STEM major), but can't remember the titles of any good ones, so unfortunately don't have recommendations.

>>18260425
Thanks, I'll be sure to pick up an introduction to poetry book.

>>18260424

>What importance do you put on the subjective interpretation of art?

Art is many things and among those things is a subjective experience. That value is personal and can be discussed, but it's fruitless to try to pin it down. Everyone will experience it differently.

>Do you think it is a failure to understand the true context?

No, it's a normal thing that coexist with the art itself, but is not the art. It is the image you have of the art, and how your cognition contextualizes it with the rest of your experience. Unexperienced viewers will tend to get their mind blown by everything they see. Experienced viewers usually need more sophistication to be entertained, tho they can appreciate good execution.

>is the personal interpretation devoid of any importance?

It's not, but that importance is personal and largely impossible to share, and ultimately completely irrelevant to anyone but you. It is an important part of appreciating art, but it's certainly not the whole package.

>>18260424
>research true meaning online
Unless it is the author stating that "true" meaning, the online analysis is also subjective. Check out /lit/. This question of "what is art" has been raging for quite some time.
There are definitely wrong answers but there are also multiple right answers.

When analysing poems I think about various interpretations of the language including the interpretations of literary devices (why did the author use them), then I think about the time period in which the poem was written, I then check a biography to investigate what was happening in the author's life when he wrote the poem, I will also check online interpretations after I have formed my own theory about the poem to compare themerit of my own theory against theirs.

>>18260431
>>18260456
I appreciate the feedback. I'll be sure to check out /lit/ more often. One thing I get caught up with is feeling that I am wrong about something; I loathe feeling that something flew over my head. That leaks over to literature and makes me obsess about the intent so I look online for validation that my interpretation was correct. You're right that the online analysis is also subjective in nature.

It seems then the best way then is to have a deeper understanding of the context and devices employed by the poem. Although, apart from the author telling exactly what they meant, it appears the entire objective meaning of the poem won't be proven. The way you describe it it seems that one can reach an understanding of 95% of the original intent with the other 5% being subjective. Is this correct?

Reminder that prose is not poetry and never will be. Turn back to your grave, early era Baudelaire.