I don't respect my dad.

>>18258799

i think the best method you can take "live and let live." i have trouble respecting my father as well, no stories needed, but this is what really helped alleviate the resistance that naturally came back to me after i sent it his way. you don't have to respect ANYONE, but letting them be whoever they think they are will greatly loosen up the frustrating grip they have on you. read eckhart tolle book "new earth" it has great tips on this

>>18258799
>This puts more load on my mother, as she needs to do everything my dad once did.
You seem to misunderstand. Nobody needs to do anything for you. You're an entitled child.

>So here I am trying to figure out how to change myself in order to get myself to respect him.
Go provide for yourself. Be 100% independent of your parents. You'll respect him when you've had a tiny taste of reality.

Probably bait, but not even mad. Good luck, kid. We were all there once.

>>18258809 is right, if he's gonna be a little bitch about not being likeable then let him. I would assume a respectable dad would do anything for their kids but I myself don't respect my dad so all i can tell you is just leave it, who cares lol

Can I ask what made you think this was a good idea? Do you think your other family members resent you for the stress you put on them for kicking up shit?

>>18258825
Me and my dad have been getting into arguments a lot lately, so we have some sort of attitude with each other. He asked me if I respect him or not, because I treat my friends and teachers differently from the way I treat him. My other family members don't have a problem with me, they're fine. Of course I understand that there is stress in raising 2 children, and I'm truly grateful for it. But I'm referring to a personality, not something that one does for their children.

>>18258819
I'm grateful for the things that my dad does, but I don't like his personality. Providing for myself wouldn't make a difference, as a personality is a personality. I'm not referring to his contributions, I'm referring to his personality.

>>18258859
you would think living with someone for so long would give you insight into their feelings and at least give you enough of an attachment to care but some people just don't give a fuck. kill yourself, then kill your dad, it's the only way.

>>18258799
I'm gunna be fucking sick OP. Why the fuck isn't the white side the opposite of the yellow side on this cube. Who the fuck would put yellow adjacent to the white? Fuck off OP

>>18258799
What specifically do you not like? Is he sarcastic? Mean? Does he have completely different interest or opinions that you dislike or find offputting? You can have constructive dialogue about specific things you have an issue with. But if it's just a generalized I don't like you just because I don't like your personality then why bring it up at all? Sounds like your a dick.

>>18258971
One more thing OP. As an example I disagree with a lot of ideas and opinions my mother has. And if she wasn't my mom I wouldn't have anything to do with her, because I am not going out of my way forming friendships with women thirty years older than I am, especially ones who don't share a lot of common interests. But she was and is a good mother and person. So I choose to love and appreciate her for that instead of telling her I wouldn't have anything to do with her if I wasn't her kid.
It's time to grow up OP.

>>18258799
Put yourself in his shoes. Your offspring just walked up to you and said "Hey dad, I have no respect for you and I hate your personality - but you'll keep giving me everything I want, right?"

Your dad could be the most unlikable douche in the universe and what you did/your mindset would still not be okay. Grow up.

>>18258915
>you would think living with someone for so long would give you insight into their feelings
That doesn't mean that insight is going to make them a good person. If you act like an ass, it doesn't matter why.

>>18259036
So what, you're saying he should have kept it to himself?

>>18259066
I'm saying he shouldn't have told his father "I don't respect you" and then expected any outcome aside from the one he got. Only OP knows if that was something that really needed to be said, but to act surprised by the result is pure immaturity.

>>18259061
do you understand why he is that way though? because it may help you empathize.

>>18259074
>I'm saying he shouldn't have told his father "I don't respect you"
I feel it important to point out that he said he didn't respect his personality. You can respect someone without respecting their personal conduct.

>>18259066
Not him, but maybe yes? His father is probably hearthbroken right now and reacted like that in his frustation.

>>18258993
Do you choose to love and love appears? Or do you love?

>>18259079
It's very, very difficult for most people to separate the two. Also, that doesn't really change what I said at all even if you take that technicality into account.

>>18259079
>>18259108
To expand upon this point; is a person's personality not who they are? If you don't respect someone's personality, you don't respect that person. There's really no reason to act like this tiny phrasing detail makes any significant change to the situation, because it doesn't.

yeah, my situation is this but worsened by a lot

you can't choose your family. you can't force yourself to like them, you can respect them as long as you live under their roof.

if they exploit this, that doesn't mean they have a right to, it means they can get away with it. you don't have to hate your parents but you don't have to love them either and you are NOT obligated to pretend to enjoy your life because they wasted their time bringing you into it, if that's how you feel

don't let them make it worse than it needs to be because they can't think for themselves

>>18258799
OP why the fuck would you tell your dad that when you're still living under his house? You're retarded.

File: SAINT-GERMAIN-CHELA-PICTURE.jpg (10KB, 234x313px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 234x313px

>>18258799

>>18259093
I love and choose not to tell my mother that I wouldn't have anything to do with her if she wasn't my mother. Just like OP should just respect his father and not tell him he hates his personality.

>>18259433
Not that OP is right but their dad can grow a thicker skin. Clearly they aren't father of the year. I don't come here expecting praise for shitposting.

>>18258799
The only change you need is about 5 years to pass, because you're a child who shouldn't even be posting on this site.

That's regardless of your age, by the way, because the fact that you said something about your mother having to "provide" for you in the ways your dad won't means you're still young enough to be dependent on them for basic shit like getting a ride somewhere or signing a form that requires 18+.

Go to bed.

Do you work, op? Once I started working for my living, real bust your ass hate your job work overtime for free on the weekend when the weather is great.... My respect for my father (which was already great) multiplied a thousand times. He was an attorney and busted his ass for 20 years to give us kids a good life.

Go get a job, and you'll respect pops. But your father needs to be a respectable guy in the first place...

>>18259446
Not father of the year, not son of the year. Son flips out and tells dad I hate you, dad reacts by saying he will only provide his basic necessities from now on.

>I don't respect my dad.

My dad was a coke addict. I think he was actually going back to coke when I bankrolled my mom's divorce. He had $5000 (US) a month in pure play money, partly coming from the government and partly coming out of my mom's paycheck while her and I were both working and both missing meals. He was awarded alimony and ordered to pay the mortgage, which he deliberately refused to do - home eventually got foreclosed and the equity was worth more than the entire divorce case.

My dad successfully fooled two different high-power lawyers into representing him, didn't pay either. He had a talent.

>>18258799
You're fucked

you are too arrogant
listen here little shit

your dad has a personality
as long as he doesnt harm anyone with it, it is FINE
understood?
FINE
even if hes a loser or idk what arbitary bullshit requirement you set up to have respect for someone, it is FINE
and like any human being, deserves a level of basic respect

nobody cares who you like more
the world isnt spinning around you

>>18260380
^ Exactly.

>>18258799

There are different kinds of respect. Respecting someone as a human being and respecting someone as a figure of authority, for example, are two different things. Just because you're more fond of your mother, doesn't necessarily mean your respect towards your father isn't somehow enough. If he isn't a repectable person, then don't respect him for that. Just show him the gratitude that is warranted by his contrubtion to your well-being and upbringing and leave the rest out of it. You don't owe him something more just because he is your father, if he genuinely isn't worth it.

>>18258819
Hey i have a shit father and i hate him even more now that live on my own. Your opinoin is invalid.

File: 1436160172803.jpg (52KB, 251x244px) Image search: [Google]

52KB, 251x244px

>>18258799
Nothing you can do. You bit the hand that feeds you. What you needed was a father who supports you. Not a father whos personality you liked. You chose poorly and this is the consequence.
You are very fortunate. Ive seen this type of thing rip parents apart and cause divorce. Maybe your parents are already divorced though which is why this doesnt effect that area.

>>18258799
Ungrateful shithead

You look past personailty for a father that stayed around and raised you

>>18258799
what did you say to your father,
what's his personality ?