Learning from others?

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>>18254543
Why live with that logic?

>>18254552

It was what we were taught as kids. "Learn from others mistakes". I've just applied it to other aspects of life. I am a very observant person, so I notice things. I listen to advice of others, and try to not repeat their mistakes. It's actually helped me quite a bit in my professional life so far

>>18254561
There are certain things you can learn from observing and certain things can only be learned through experience

A relationship is one of the latter

>>18254576

I guess, I mean. I think this sounds crazy myself just saying it, but I've learned enough that I've given a few of my friends really solid relationship advice. they asked me, even though they know that I've never had a relationship. I just thought about things I've heard and read over the years and applied it with logic. It has helped them.

>>18254543
Ok, so I believe, 100%, that traditional, monogamous relationships aren't for everyone, and that if someone decides they want to be single long-term, that's a totally respectable decision.

But this idea that "I don't want to risk getting hurt the way I've seen other people get hurt" is bullshit. You cannot write off experiences that you haven't had because you think living vicariously is good enough. Well, I mean, you CAN, but you're going to live a boring, unfulfilled life. You've got to try things and make yourself vulnerable if you're going to learn about who you are and what you need to be happy. You need to challenge yourself if you're going to discover your limits.

>>18254586

>Well, I mean, you CAN, but you're going to live a boring, unfulfilled life

I'm not trying to humble brag, but I've had people tell me that I have an exciting life. I travel internationally often. Literally last month, I came up with the idea of going to France, so I requested days off at work and booked Tickets for June. I've done this several times over the past few years to different places. I'm pursuing an exciting career as well. I just do what I want really, I just do things my way.

I can still have an exciting life alone too right?

>>18254600

whats your career?

>>18254603

Pilot

>>18254600
>I can still have an exciting life alone too right?
You can. You totally can. But not if you approach common human experiences with "I don't want to try that, I might not like it."

>>18254600
Imagine in an alternate reality you had heard of people traveling and seen travel shows but have never left your country. You say, it's fine, I have a wife and children that keep me exciting and everyone compliments me on how beautiful my family is. You decide traveling just isn't worth it and never leave get on a plane.

That's what you're doing

>>18254609

Hmm I don't know. I'm just pretty distanced from the whole sex/dating thing.

Maybe I've been reading too much about MGTOW and listening to Sinatra. But, I think it's best if I just avoid the sex/dating thing. I've seen how's it's really become a big damper on people's lives, I don't need negativity.

I feel like this song is me. Minus the "I've loved, laughed and cried" part

https://youtu.be/6E2hYDIFDIU

>>18254621
That song is about taking risks, no regrets and living life to the fullest. Lol

>>18254616

>You say, it's fine, I have a wife and children that keep me exciting and everyone compliments me on how beautiful my family is. You decide traveling just isn't worth it and never leave get on a plane

I know plenty of people who do just that Tbh.

>>18254621
MGTOW have a good idea (the idea that relationships are not for everyone, and societal pressures to get married are harmful to a lot of people) that they've fucked up beyond recognition (with their misogyny and victim complexes).

You SHOULD be independent. You SHOULD live life your way. You SHOULD do what's right for you.

But you should also recognise that sometimes, settling down with someone IS what's right for you, and at least be OPEN to the idea.

>>18254624

Well, yeah. I mean, I took a massive financial risk to pursue my career, I had also previously served in the military. I do take risks. But, the dating/sex thing just doesn't seem worth it..

I just do a lot of assesment before I make choices. I review the consequences for every action and go with the ones I'm prepared to face and accept.

>>18254627
You are that person anon.

If you're ok with that and you think that some people shouldn't travel then don't bother with relationships. If you think that those type of people should at least try to take a trip to Belize once in their life then you know what you should do.

>>18254629

>settling down with someone IS what's right for you

How so?

>>18254632

I feel like it's a bit different. As with traveling, you're not experiencing an intimate connection/investment with Belize. You're just seeing sites and eating new foods.

I do think it could be good for people to travel at least once. But I know people who are not interested in it at all, and that's ok.

>>18254635
Maybe you want to have a child and raise that child in a partnership with the child's other parent.
Maybe you want to have a partner for emotional and/or financial support
Maybe you just really, really like a person and want to live together and have sex together in a long-term situation.

For example.

There are any number of reasons settling down might be in someone's best interests.

I used to think I didn't want a relationship. Everyone around me seemed to be made more miserable because of their relationship. Fighting, jealousy, insecurity. I watched relationships, marriages in particular, violently fall apart--or, even more cruel, stayed together only because both the husband and wife seemed to be soulless husks going through the motions. Why would I want to be part of any of all that pointless hurt and heartbreak?

Now, I've been in a relationship with a guy for over 6 years now. I plan on spending the rest of my life with him. Interestingly, I was still very much in that anti-relationship mindset when I met him.

I still see relationships and marriages that negatively affect the people in them. My own relationship has been through some major struggles. But I have no regrets and would do it all again in a heartbeat--even the pain. Being in a relationship with someone has helped me grow in ways I don't think I could've on my own, or perhaps not until after many, many years.

Do a relationship wrong, and it's fucking awful. Do a relationship right, and it's fucking amazing. "Learning from others mistakes" is exactly what you should do, just not in the way you're thinking of. Rather than apply the rule to justify not having a relationship in the first place, apply it after you're in a relationship. Don't make stupid mistakes other people did to ruin their relationships. Use their mistakes to help you create a relationship that's worth it for you.

>>18254543
Take a risk faggot
If you don't like it just leave and never have a relationship
Stop being a fucking nerd trying to plan life

>>18254649

Maybe you want to have a child and raise that child in a partnership with the child's other parent.
Maybe you want to have a partner for emotional and/or financial support
Maybe you just really, really like a person and want to live together and have sex together in a long-term situation.

Well that doesn't really apply. I have absolutely no interest in kids. I really never want kids.

Financially, I want to stay independent.

And sex, well I don't know that enough to care

>>18254654

Why did you decide to do it?

>>18254681
You are missing my point
I'm not trying to convince you to go out & get a gf
I'm trying to wake you up to the fact that there is a wide breadth of human experience that you have not experienced and that you shouldn't dismiss it so easily.

And that's it, I'm not sure I can say it any more clearly than that

>>18254698

But is is OK if I don't experience it right?

I just see it as, not everyone experiences everything. Some people have never eaten delicious fresh Linguini con Scampi at a small Trattitoria in Catania, Sicily. And that's ok. So, it's ok if I never experience love or real sex too right?