Boyfriend acting suspicious on the computer, found out what it was

I've been in a similar situation before, except I was the guy writing the porn

My question to you is this : why do you feel the need to talk about it ? What is there to talk about ? Do you want him to stop ? Do you want him to include you in that hobby ? If neither of those things are true, what do you expect to get from admitting to him you stalked his net usage and breached his privacy ?

>>18253623

> Do you want him to stop ?

No, not really.

>Do you want him to include you in that hobby ?

No. I just feel weird that he kept this from me. I mean, I could understand if we were just in the first few months of our relationship, but we've started living together and him not telling me about it just makes me feel odd about it.

>you stalked his net usage

I didn't stalk shit. He was acting weird on the computer, shifting between tabs or closing browsers if I came anywhere near. Didn't even notice the first few times it happened, but later he took to physically distracting me away from the computer as well (not that I minded that) and it kind of bugged me.

You wouldn't have been worried if your partner did this kind of thing?

>>18253616
well, is he atleast a good writer?
if not, i would start with something like:
>"honey, we really have to talk about your inadequate use of metaphors and rhetoric elements in your stories..."
it would be hilarious just to see his face

>>18253629

>You wouldn't have been worried if your partner did this kind of thing?

Yes, I would have, but I wouldn't have the self-indulgence to not call it invasion of privacy. The fact that I was suspicious of their attitude doesn't give me the right to do it. You're not owed a look in their private business whenever you feel like you don't know every single thing about them.

>I just feel weird that he kept this from me

There's a chance he could be ashamed of it, or simply wants to keep it separate from other aspects of his life, including you. I'd wagger a lot of his friends that he's known for much longer than you don't know either. There's nothing particularly strange about keeping stuff you don't want to share private.

You still didn't tell me what you expect from the conversation, why you can't seem to just let it go. Is it purely because you feel like he should have told you about all his secret hobbies at some point in your whole year of relationship ?

>>18253642

The early ones are real bad. I mean, he wrote those when he was 19-20 years old. The newer ones seem pretty well received, judging by the comments. Like I said, I only skimmed through them, didn't really read them all the way through.

>>18253616
Tell him you saw it by accident and that it made you really curious. If you don't want this to blow up in your face, then admit to it as sexy and tender-loving-caring as possible. I can't see how his talent should be anything but arousing to you. Ask him to read you one of the less off putting ones. Who knows, you might get turned on by it (that's what they're designed to do,) and as an added bonus this is your own man's creation.

I write lewd in length and detail to the women I want to fuck, and it works better than any other text-based approach I've ever tried. This might be a very good thing in your love life, Op

Just be honest and humble

Better writing erotica than him being addicted to porn.

>>18253651
You sound like a total bitch. It seems like your man has a real hobby here, and your too selfish to let him do what he loves. Your a terrible person

>>18253616
>how do I go about talking about it?
"So, the other day I saw you left a tab open, and saw you write stuff." Proceed to critique his work.
Read some of it, be critical about it.
It's just writing my dude. My bf draws erotica, even I do too, and there's tons of things he isn't into but that he draws anyway, like lesbos and very very heavy bondage. It doesn't mean anything significant. If you're worried ask him why he writes the stuff he does

Women have freaked out over much less so it's understandable that he's trying to hide it. What you do is next time you have sex, you reenact one of his stories to the best of your memory. Unless he's clinically retarded, he'll put two and two together, and then you tell him it's really no biggie, and you ask him you wanna be reference material (doesn't matter if you are already).

>>18253658

>admit to it as sexy and tender-loving-caring as possible

What?

>>18253751

Now that you mention it, he's never really shown any interest in porn. Could be because his imagination runs wild like this.

>>18253763

Why am I a bitch?

>>18253793

Yeah, I read one story in the meantime, it was one of the recently published romance ones. It was really, really good. It's so weird, it's not exactly a new side to him, but it's like I'm seeing more of it.

>>18253797

>What you do is next time you have sex, you reenact one of his stories to the best of your memory.

That sounds like something that's bound to end in disaster.

>>18253616
So what's the big deal? He's an aspiring writer and he's chosen this particular genre to explore.

It's what writers do. Early in his career Shakespeare wrote 156 sonnets, poems in a very specific form, largely to explore that form to see what he could do withing those limits.

The writer Edward Albee began as a teenage poet, full of flowery language. He showed his work to a famous poet, who told him to go away and write nothing but obscene limericks for a year, as a discipllne.

You'd have more cause for worry if they were ALL S&M or paedo or any one fetish.

why are you wanting to talk to him about it? Coz you're tired of him acting shady?

>>18254253

No, I just feel like we shouldn't keep things like this from each other.

what a censorship loving whore you are OP.

>>18253616
So what? You don't own him. You're being a bit petty. How does not knowing about this particular hobby that most reasonable and honest people would likely be extremely shy about harm you? I think you should come to him with a solution instead of a problem. Offer him to write and read to you a story that you'll masturbate to or something. Show him that you're okay with it and whatever else he may have secret and he won't feel a need to hide stuff from you. If you think you have to sit down and discuss this with a grown man I'd advise you that you're treating the man like a child. If you showed him some respect he might want to include you on these sorts of things in the future.

>>18254188
>admit to it as sexy and tender-loving-caring as possible
>What
Oh, do you not understand the words I chose, or are you willfully ignorant?

You know how people in relationships tend to ignite eachother sexually, right? My advice, to avoid confrontation, would be to ask him about this (this being sexual content he created himself,) in a manner that builds trust and companionship, instead of tearing it down.

Healthy relationships are built on TLC.

>>18254271

You've only been together a year or so you retard, if it doesn't affect you it's totally reasonable for him to want to keep secrets, especially if he'd probably be embarassed about them. It was shitty of you to look through his computer, it's an insignificant activity, and I'd be pretty angry if I were him and you wanted to talk about that shit. I would say try and keep it to yourself.

Writing is a healthy outlet, OP. If could be he uses it as a form of self expression, which can be a pretty personal thing. He might just not be ready to share something like that with you.

I wouldn't really think about about it? It's not that uncommon, really. It's a pretty normal hobby, loads of people write erotica, even the strange kind.

He might feel as if you've violated his privacy if you bring it up. Maybe start small and mention writing as a hobby in general.

>read the ones that you can play
>and fuck him silly using them as a script
>wait until he slowly realize you have been reading them

>>18254271
Welcome to the real world. There are certain things you shouldnt keep from each other, but there are other things that are no big deal. Ask an old lady whos been married 50 years if there are things shes never told her husband. I guarantee there will be. If this is a big deal to you then so be it, but if its just a matter of you feel out of control because he didnt let you in on it. Let it ride. If you want, read his stories and flick the bean to them. He will tell you when he's ready, if he's ready.

>>18254498
There's a big difference between not bothering to tell someone something and going out of your way to hide it to the point you look suspicious. I guarantee people who have been married 50 years are not doing that shit

>>18254519
I think you would be surprised

>>18254525
I doubt that.

>>18254528
Of course you do, it wouldn't be a surprise if you knew it already. If you already know the answers you wont have anything to learn, and you will learn a lot about relationships as time goes on. I guarantee it.

>>18254540
You can't guarantee shit.

It's not even reasonable to think maintaining 50 years of sneaking around hiding your mundane hobbies from your spouse in your own fucking house is remotely plausible. I'm sure there are exceptions and no, it wouldn't surprise me to learn there might be, but it surely would not be a normal circumstance.

People who have made it that long married are way past petty retarded shit like that.

>>18254548
So are you guys married?

>>18254548
You would really be surprised how much spouses hide from each other

I wouldn't say it's normal but I wouldn't say it's a rare occurance

You seem to have a fairytale ideal of how a long lasting marriage should be like, it's ok most women do

>>18254564
I just told you I would not be surprised, for the 2nd time you illiterate cunt. And now I am telling you again.
It's not a surprise that spouses hide things from each other. But something as obvious as a hobby you partake in on a regular basis is not something that's going to say hidden for 50 years when you are married to someone and live with them.

And the point was your analogy was fucking retarded in the first place because like I said, "not telling" something is different from making an effort to hide it from someone else.

You seem to have reading comprehension issues, it's ok most men on this board do

File: IMG_2970.jpg (94KB, 577x866px) Image search: [Google]

94KB, 577x866px

>>18254574
Kek

>>18253616

I have a DA with my writings that I didn't tell my bf about because i was somewhat embarrassed by some of it. He found it by chance a year later and was initially a little put off that i kept it from him but quickly warmed up to the idea that it was just a personal art expression.
Some of the topics were on such things as you say but i wrote these things before i knew him and most of it was just from my imagination. For me, it was a good way to vent extra emotions.
I could say that some of it speaks to who I am but there are definitely some things very different from who I am as well. It's healthy to have such outlets.
At least you didn't find a weird porn folder or that he has an online gf.
Be happy that the skellies in his closet are so mild compared to some men.

OP, I don't really see this as something you had the right to know about.

I'm sorta in a similar situation as your boyfriend - I mean, I don't write erotica, but I do have a fetish that I don't want my partner to know about. Oh, why be coy, it's a cheating fetish. NOT cuckolding - literally a cheating fetish. There's zero chance of me ever acting on it, I can promise you that. There's no reason for my partner to be worried. Still, it affects my fantasies & porn habits a lot.

For obvious reasons I don't want to tell her about it. It's not that I think she would leave me if she found out, if I explained I'm sure she'd accept it (without necessarily LIKING it), it's that I simply don't want to. It would be embarrassing. Humiliating, even. I'd get rid of my fetish if I could, but I can't, it's a part of my sexuality, so instead I just settle for keeping it private, and I plan on taking it to the grave.

They're not completely analogous situations - because your boyfriend's actions (posting stories) do involve other people - but I'd say posting erotica online (anonymously) is a lot more like what I do than anything actually objectionable. I don't think you have a right to know everything that goes on in your partner's head, and up to a point (e.g. sending nudes to somebody) what people do online (browser history, porn viewing habits, and in your partner's case, publishing erotica) is just a reflection/expression of their private thoughts, and frankly none of your business.

That said, I don't blame you for investigating given how shady he was acting, but you really should have stopped reading as soon as you determined it was harmless and he wasn't cheating or doing anything stupid.

Well, he came home and I just told him what I did. He was relieved. He actually wanted to tell me about it, he just didn't know how to bring it up. And he's not upset I looked at his browser history or anything, because he himself says he was acting shady. We talked a bit about this and we're going to be talking some more of his stories. No idea if I'll really like all of them, but hey, at least one of them was decent, and I can't say I mind seeing even more kinky stuff from my boyfriend.

To all the people here who thought this would end in tears, glad to prove you wrong. To those who helped me out with genuine advice, thank you.

>>18253616
its just a hobby. his dick hasnt been anywhere it shouldnt have been. i say just let it be. either that, or encourage him to profit from it

Ask him about it in a non-confrontational way. Tell him that you're not upset with him writing it and that he can write whatever he wants, but you're just concerned about why he wasn't comfortable enough with his partner to share this side of himself with her, and how you would hope that he was comfortable enough with you not to fear judgement from you (specifically say, "I would hope you would feel comfortable with me," not "you SHOULD feel comfortable with me," because then you're not telling him that he's done anything wrong, you're just saying that you guys can address this issue together).

Don't get defensive if he says you invaded his privacy, don't gaslight him for feeling violated or tell him that he shouldn't feel that way, just say that you're sorry if he feels that way, but you were just wondering why he was acting suspiciously, and ask him what he would do if you behaved in a similar manner.

It doesn't have to be a fight. It can be something that you can both learn from and that will bring you closer together.

>>18255105
Oh, you solved it already. This is what I get for only reading the first few posts and being like "FUCK THE REST OF THE COMMENTS LISTEN UP BITCHES I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO SAY."

>>18253616
sounds like he'll be cheating on you in the future
i'd run and block everything

>>18254271
>No, I just feel like we shouldn't keep things like this from each other.
Are you kidding? As a guy there are many things I am taking to my goddamn grave. Shit like this is one of them. There's a discord on /a/ for a show that I like but I refuse to join because of some greentext stories I wrote for it over four years ago.

Post the stories OP we need to see how good he is!

>>18253616
First you

>Apologize for invading his privacy.
>Apologize for creating an environment where he felt he couldn't share this with you.
>Congratulate him for finding an outlet for his sexual desires that isn't infidelity.
>Move on with your life.

>>18255442

It's okay, my post was easy enough to get lost in the crowd of other posts. You at least noticed, whereas other people still kept on posting.