Is she GF material?!

>>18250391
Probably yes, but not for you, there's nothing wrong with going out with girls for short periods of time, lot of people i know do this.
If you're not 100% sure you can build a relationship with that person it's better not to do it, i commited the mistake of getting into a relationship with a girl i got along pretty well, but have nothing in common, and now i'm having a hard time trying to break with her, she doesn't want to break with me since she says she loves me and miss me, but at the same she has 0 time for me and it's not willing to give up her duties. Everytime i bring this issue she says i should give her time, but it's been almost a month already and she still doesn't show any interest of changing her mind, and i'm growing tired and sad each day.
So, nope, don't get involved, it will only bring you down in the long term.

Bump?

(Auto refresh didn't work that well apparently...)

>>18250414
Thanks a lot for your input! The thing is, we do have a lot in common, she is not just some cute girl that happens to like having me around.

What I'm trying to weigh here is:
A) Go back to Tinder miserable nights and having no one that understands me to talk to
and
B) Trying to get closer to this girl, even though this might take a very long time and I might never get there

>>18250414
And the worst part is that when I try to bring up the subject, she avoids it at all cost.

She neither says she doesn't want me around nor does she want me to get closer. I get mixed messages from her. It's like she wants me to get closer but then she never has the time to hang out... We spend lots of days in a row without seeing each other sometimes.

>>18250609
Well, my humble opinion is that there is no love there. Usually to grow into a loving relationship you or she needs to create a solid bond, starting to show signs that you really care about each other . Otherwise there's no way that could be couple.
And furthermore, this should be mutual, if you see that you're the only one wanting the relationship and even if she agrees, you will always be the pushing, like it happened to me. I wanted a relationship with her so bad, i did so much stuff for her that she had no other choice than accepting my love, but then she realized she cared more about other stuff and other people than me, that it was nice to have me around doing nice things for her, but she doesn't considers me the most important thing in her life, and she even told me she considered being in a LDR a good thing, like distance is a good thing because before we used to fight a lot, and that, mate, is fucking painful. Love should be something that makes you think of the other person as the most important thing in your life, that you want to share your life with that person for the rest of your life, if you don't feel that in your guts, if you need distance, and you don't stand the other person after a while, then you're not in love.

>>18250697
Very good insights!

I can't say I love this girl, it's been like 2 months at max, since we first met, and although we have been able to get together a few times and show affection, it's just not long enough.

In her defence, I should say she has a lot going on in her life, but that's also none of my business! I have made an effort and sacrificed other stuff to be with her before. I can't say she did the same for me.

Recently, she decided she needed some time alone, so instead of hanging out with me, she stayed at home.

This sounds really weird to me, but I'm also very rookie in relationships, so what do I know?!

Deep inside what I feel is like this girl has moved on from whatever she was first interested in. I'm always the one reaching out to her right now.

What saddens me is that it's not easy to find someone that understands even a small part of me. My whole family doesn't. Almost all my friends don't. And she does.

I can't take this very lightly, she's one of a kind in that sense.

>>18250717
Well, mate, there's a general rule, if someone asks for "time alone" it's actually translated as "i don't want to be in a couple" anytime soon.
When you love someone you want to be with that person always, you want to reach that person 24/7, you give up things in order to be with that person.
Not saying that my gf didn't do these kind of things in the past, but recently she's been like that, and that's why i'm about to break with her, if you're in a relationship you have to be 100% available for your loved one, otherwise quit. And if you feel like it's very demanding, quit, if you feel like you're not happy making happy your beloved one, quit. Love should be a positive thing and if you find yourself "demanding" love you should quit.
Love is just about giving, if you cannot give, or your partner cannot give what you need, quit.

>>18250799
Makes total sense to me!

Now that you mention giving/taking, I'm clearly feeling like I'm giving too much and not taking nearly as much as I need from this.

I won't go as far as saying that, to be in a relationship you should be 100% available for the other person. I wouldn't want that. I have my own stuff as well, probably stuff that the other person might not care for, and that's fine. That's why I don't believe in this 100% rule, but I would believe in a 80/90% rule. And right now it feels more like 15/20%.

I've talked about this several times with her, and it seems like she has labelled this subject as "taboo", so I guess I'm not going any further into this.

Almost like putting her in the so called "friend zone" and see if she asks for attention every now and then.

Because I feel like this might be the case when a girl doesn't like you, but enjoys the fact that you like her.

And believe me, I love making her (or any other girl, for that matter) happy. I get aroused just by showing I care for her.

>>18250799
BTW how do you deal with all that yourself? How do you do the "we have to talk" thing?

>>18250876
You just set a date to talk, you explain what you expect from the relationship, she explains what she expects, if you reach an agreement, you continue, if you don't, you break.