Friend making a mistake

If you think your friend is reasonable enough to hear your opinion without losing his shit, tell him. He might not listen to you, but it might cause him to rethink his plan.

If you think he'll freak out on you don't bother, though.

Why is he moving ?he has the his job ,she should be moving.

He's probably madly in love, especially if she's his first.
I don't think any amount of words are going to change his mind, he needs to fuck up to realize things. Hopefully it'll happen before any greater decisions are made.

I don't think there's much you can beside giving him some hints that it might be a bad idea.

>>18249368
He is the kind of person that will get quiet. He will "pretend" like he is listening, but really be getting upset at you inside (without showing it). Then he will most likely try to avoid you for awhile. That I think is the likely response he would give.

I don't think he would freak out. Just stay quiet and ignore/be distant.

He said he is moving because housing in Texas is cheaper than in California, so "long term wise" Texas is a better. That's what he says anyways.

>>18249360
You can let him learn the mistake of dating a woman like this but DO NOT let him relocate for this bitch. Putting a womans needs ahead of your own is bad with any woman, let alone this one. He will lose respect in her eyes because of it. I gaurentee it. His income should be more important than some bitch that will probably leave him in a couple years.

>>18249373
He's dated girls before, but none as attractive (because he himself isn't attractive). This makes me think the girl is lowering her standards when it comes to looks because she has a 3 year old daughter. Women do this ya?

So I think he just excited that a girl who is attractive is into him. But I'm not sure about this girl. Like I've mentioned, she drinks a lot. Not sure how this is going to end, but you are right, I just gotta let him find out.

Me personally I'd rather stay single than be with a girl like that, and the baggage of a kid whose daddy is an ex-con. That shit sounds so trailer park to me.

Talk to him dude....

Get him to get a prenup "just in case."

>>18249385
Like I mentioned, he is kind of a beta male. I understand where you are coming from, I'd never give up my career and progress I've made to relocate for a girl who has less education than I do. Sounds stupid. But he thinks Texas ultimately will allow him to buy a house (where in California you can't do that unless you are married with duel incomes). Plus you can get a bigger house for cheaper in Texas apparently.

Him saying this leads me to believe he is thinking about marrying her eventually, and probably having a kid with her. But I just get the wrong vibe from this girl, like she isn't fully there, maybe it's her drinking, like she is covering up a lot of depression/baggage... I'm not sure, I don't know her all that well, and what I've seen just seems like red flags.

>>18249360
His life, his feelings, his mistakes, if he even is making a mistake.

Your opinion in the matter doesnt make it true no matter how much it seems that way.

Either way hell live and die by his own choices. Leave it.

>>18249400
prenups help, but they aren't foolproof. At least that is what I've heard.

>>18249405
I know, I will most likely leave it, but I've known him for 20 years (we are both 30 years old). We've been friends since we were 10 years old.

It's just a hard thing to witness.
And you are right, it could all work out for the better. But I know women, and unless this girl cleans herself up a bit, I don't see things going well. Women like this are users (from what I've seen).

>>18249411
Honeslty mang i read your story and i hsve the same instincts as you.

But if hes such a beta this could either end horrifically, OR be a confidence boost and learning experience for him.

>>18249360
You need to pipe the fuck up, and SOON. Find a way to warn your friend, in every way possible. He is about to destroy his life. A good friend wouldn't let that happen without a serious fight. Just having to deal with the resistance and stress you create over his decision will force him to evaluate just what the hell he is doing, on a level that he wouldn't without your warning him.

>>18249521
>But if hes such a beta this could either end horrifically, OR be a confidence boost and learning experience for him.
That's true.

>>18249955
He's in love, I'm not even sure he would be rational or pause to think.

>>18250200

OP's correct about him not listening. The first girl I dated was a nightmare, and both my sister and mother could tell from the get-go she was going to be trouble.

They also knew that if they said anything to me, I wasn't going to hear any of it because I was in love, and she was the first girl who'd ever shown that level of interest in me. It crashed and burned hard, and my family was kind enough not to rub it in my face.

>>18250250
Exactly, and I that is what I think I should do. Just be a friend to him if/when it comes crashing down. Otherwise I feel I risk distancing myself from him, and I don't want him to feel alone if/when something happens.

How are you so sure that this isn't what your friend wants?

Do you know all of his aspirations and dreams in life?

Maybe the issues she has aren't a big deal to him and he is willing to live with them because she fulfills his other wishes. How are you so sure she is the worst thing for him and that isn't just your personal preferences or opinions?

>>18249360
fuck yes tell him to forget this bitch and then help him find a good bitch.

if ur a good friend you will try to get him on a proper girl man.

FUCK THAT SOUNDS LIKE HELL, YOU NEED TO DIVERT HIM

>>18251286
actually just take a picture of this whole topic and show him the comments that say fucking run now

that bitch sounds crazy as fuck. he cant handle some shit like that

>>18251252
just shut the fuck up.

i've been a single mom too and dated one guy during that time before meeting my husband. both that guy and my husband got warned by their friends, which i think is only fair. they both told me and we had a talk about what they fear will be issues that could come up and so on. i'd say, talk to him. the best thing that can happen is that he tells her sbout it and it peovokes a good conversation about the pitfalls of a relationship with someone who already has a child. maybe her answers will wake him up (if she's really as bad as you paint her) or they will reasure him and make sure they have some common ground and shared values.
be sure he talks about how she will handle the relationship with the child's father (how involved is he, how much contact is there between the two, why did it end, are they on good terms), how he should handle being around the kid (does she want him to be involved? what does he want? is he expected to act as an authority person or not? etc) and general organisation (will they have enough time without the kid? what about finances?). make sure he doesn't go in there thinking that everything will just "sort itself out".

>>18251304
Just really wanted to offer another perspective in the sea of "Fuck that bitch".

A life with her and a nice house in Texas, helping support her child and building a family with her could be exactly what he wants in his life. Perhaps she is even fucked up and depressed because no one has given her a real chance before. There are always multiple sides to shit so the best advice I can really give would be to have conversations about the wants and needs of the people involved.

Just deciding that the way you want to live and what you want in life should be applied to everyone is very narrow minded. Have a real conversation with your friend.

>>18249360
dont get sucked into it, your friend is gone. Just smile and avoid talking about her entirely