Is a girl a bad person if she justifies something if it makes

That's called being selfish.

>>18246673
You just described all women.

>>18246673
You are both bad people. I wouldn't be surprised if your relationship ends the same way. Only time will tell who cheats on who though.

>>18246673
No you're the bad person due to your infidelity. 6 years? How the fuck long have you known this "nancy" bitch

No. She didn't hurt your girlfriend, you hurt your girlfriend.

Why would she feel bad they you dumped some chick to get with her. What the fuck?

>>18246698
Nancy all the way

>>18246688
>>18246677
Double double dubs checked. Very nice

>>18246677
Nancy acknowledges that but because she has never had a boyfriend she wants it badly.

She's 25 and reasonably good looking. I can confirm she's been single the whole time and a virgin.

I've known Nancy since 2014 but we recently got much closer after a trip with mutual friends overseas. In the last few months since the trip we'd been texting another.

>>18246759
Oh, so you're with someone who's selfish AND desperate. You've landed yourself a great girl.

Have fun finding out the real reason she's still a virgin at 25.

>>18246822
She's not a slut. That's why. Even when we're naked together she won't let my cock in. The tiniest tip that I pushed in made her bleed.

She's a very extroverted, outdoorsy, assertive girl who's loud and funny.

She has a weird thing about not hugging people but we hugging and make out no problem.

I've had to take a break from her because of this guilt but it was going well between us for the 3 months that we'd been dating.

Even before reading your post, I have to ask you, would I be considered a bad person if I was to fulfill my dream of being a turbo rapist, which would in turn make me happy?
My ex emotionally cheated, and eventually fucked another dude, and after I asked her to tell me everything, days after, she became a bitch about it because she thought I forgave her. Sure, I do, but not because she deserves forgiveness, but because I deserve peace. Your gf would probably be better off without a slimeball yourself who has commitment issues. And Nancy should feel bad about it, the least she's gonna get is bad karma.

>>18246673
>Is Nancy a bad girl for feeling this way?
No.

She didn't make you break up with your girlfriend. She didn't make you become emotionally involved with her, whether you were physically cheating or not. You made these choices. Those choices benefited her. Unless she's got some kind of relationship with your ex, she shouldn't feel anything about you breaking up with her outside of her minor qualms that you basically left your ex for her. And guess what, that was your decision too.

>>18246673
I should add that I told my ex that I was developing feelings for nancy.

My ex was heartbroken but just told me to ask Nancy out (which she just told me so I could be happy). So I asked Nancy out but I still feel guilty, especially cause my ex was dying inside and destroyed.

>>18246673
From what you've described, Nancy appears to show no remorse for having had a role in the destruction of a "friend's" 6 year long relationship. Yes, that's bad. That's psychopathic, really. Nancy may be a lovely girl, really friendly, super-engaging, all that jazz. But you really have to ask yourself if she feels so happy because she wrested your attentions away from another woman who had effectively laid claim to your heart for 6 years, and Nancy was clearly good enough at being attractive to draw your attentions away from her.

I also bet Nancy loves how the mess isn't hers to clean up, it's yours and your ex's.

>>18246930
>I also bet Nancy loves how the mess isn't hers to clean up, it's yours and your ex's.
Doesn't take a psychopath to appreciate that fact you moron.

>>18246879
I have to ask you. Seriously. What is a turbo rapist? How does this differ from normal rapists?

>>18246926
>I am incredibly guilty because I did something awful
>is this other person who isn't me bad because they dont feel guilty for the thing I did?

Like we've been saying this entire thread : you deserve to feel guilty. You broke your exes heart. And you know it. And then you asked Nancy out.

Nancy did literally nothing wrong.

>>18246673
Did Nancy have some sort of obligation to your ex girlfriend? Were they friends? No? Then fuck it. Why should she feel bad? You're the scum bag that was being unfaithful, Nancy didn't do nuttin.

Your girlfriend dodged a bullet 2bh.

>>18246698
Why is OP a bad person? He broke up with his girlfriend. There's nothing scummy about breaking up with someone you don't want to be with anymore. In fact, it's the responsible, adult thing to do.

>>18246937
Faster?

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Anything new is exciting, so it didn't matter how came into your life you would've felt the same way. Nancy is a homewrecker, if she knew you were taken she should've been more distant from you and try not to lead you on, but she did anyway which means she always had an ulterior motive.

You can't end a LTR for some bs new butterflies in the stomach relationship because as you know, from your previous relationship, feeling all those wonderful emotions on a brand new relationship aren't permanent.

Nancy doesn't sound like a good person for doing what she did, and I'm sorry to say this but, you don't deserve your ex either. You shouldn't be in a serious relationship if you aren't capable of being faithful to one person.

Even if you didn't sleep with Nancy while you were with your ex you were still cheating on her by wanting to be with someone else and actively engaging in constant texting with her.

Keep Nancy but she won't make you happy, she will probably end up texting another taken man because that's what gets her off.

>>18246673
I mean, she didn't do shit.
Unless she seduced you or something, she didn't do anything.
It is entirely your fault and you hurt your ex. Why should she feel bad about it?

>>18246947
Because, when the honeymoon phase of relationships is over, he would have screwed over two girls and will blame everyone but himself.

>>18247301
Breaking up with someone isn't screwing them over.

>>18247296
>You can't end a LTR for some bs new butterflies in the stomach

Yes. Yes, you can. You can end a LTR for literally any reason you want. No one is obligated to keep dating someone just because they have been dating them. Obviously, OP wasn't happy in his relationship and moved on to someone that he felt could potentially make him happy. Why should he have remained in a relationship that he clearly didn't want to remain in?

>>18247308

Nope, if OP wasn't seeking out anyone and was unhappy all on his own then yes, but this had nothing to do with his relationship. He blames his relationship because he wants a copout, so he makes up a dumb excuse like "I wasn't happy" to justify his new relationship, it's bs.

Every LTR gets a bit dull over the years so it's their responsibility to rekindle their relationship in various ways, but it will never be as exciting as it was when they were recently going out.

He said it himself and I quote

"My ex was a sweet girl who I know is a good person who would be loving and loyal to her dying breath."

A girl like that deserves nothing but the best in the world, and the only reason I agree she's better off now is cause this guy never really knew what he had in the first place. LTR aren't as common as you think, and 6 years? Dude...what the fuck seriously...

>>18247304
It is if you're racing for another SO before you have broken up.

>>18247317
>so he makes up a dumb excuse like "I wasn't happy" to justify his new relationship,

Why is that bs? If he was so happy in his relationship, why did he become emotionally entangled with another woman?

>it's their responsibility to rekindle their relationship in various ways

No, it's not their responsibility. It's what you do if you want the relationship to keep going. You don't have to. At all. Again, no one is obligated to remain in a relationship.

>6 years? Dude...what the fuck seriously...

So please, let me know, how long do I have in a relationship before I'm not allowed to leave any more? Is it a 5 years? 2 years? 6 months? At what point am I now officially trapped?

I've been with my girlfriend for 10 years. I've been with her this long because I haven't met anyone that I like more than her. At this point I highly doubt I will, but if I did somehow meet someone that makes me happier, why should I not want to be with them?

>>18247328
Why?

>>18247296
>Even if you didn't sleep with Nancy while you were with your ex you were still cheating on her by wanting to be with someone else and actively engaging in constant texting with her.

Who hurt you?

>>18247360

>If he was so happy in his relationship, why did he become emotionally entangled with another woman?

Happiness had nothing to do with it, everyone seeks new things in life because old things become boring, his relationship was old so he was bored, not unhappy. New girl comes along and suddenly he's feeling all those familiar yet exciting feelings of a new relationship. ANYONE who showed up in his life while he was bored was going to get his attention.

>It's what you do if you want the relationship to keep going. You don't have to. At all. Again, no one is obligated to remain in a relationship.

A real relationship requires a bit of work, like I said, it's not going to be all butterflies and rainbows forever, the flame starts to go out over the years and it's their job to keep it lit. If one or both start slacking off then the flame goes down and they get bored, every LTR is like this.

>So please, let me know, how long do I have in a relationship before I'm not allowed to leave any more? Is it a 5 years? 2 years? 6 months? At what point am I now officially trapped?

It's not about the time you spend with someone, it's about how this person tries or makes an effort to make the relationship work. If it goes both ways then yay for them but, usually it comes and goes, sometimes one slacks off while the other tries, and viceversa. But if nothing works and one person remains uninterested in improving the relationship, then that's when you end it.

>if I did somehow meet someone that makes me happier, why should I not want to be with them?

So your girlfriend is a product that as long as a better product doesn't come along she'll just be enough for you?

Sorry to break it to you, but there are billions of people on the planet, statistically speaking there will always be a "Better" person out there. You either stick with someone who loves you and at least gives a shit or you can go out on your romantic childish fantasies and never settle down.

>>18247411
I was unhappy because my ex would frequently cry whenever I would banter with her. Granted if probably take it too far sometimes but still.

I just like Nancy a whole lot more. I was never particularly taken with my ex, there were several things about her that just irked me.

I never left because I'm pretty loyal and would rather not be alone desu. I just made do with what I had. I suppose when Nancy came along I saw how much better it could be.

Idk

>>18247438
Ew...just ew

>>18246673
people break up for way shittier reasons. You'll get over it. You're feeling bad because of infidelity, but like, you can't help the way you felt.

If you're interested in the flip side, I was in a similar situation, except I cut contact with Nancy and my girlfriend now spies on my and tries to gaslight me about it, and it's tearing me apart.

>>18246673
Nah she's not the bad person, you are. You're no better than those women people always complain about on here who start lining guys up as a backup for when they dump their BF.

>>18246673
To me, that's the definition of being a bad person. EVERYONE does shitty things sometimes, you can't really go through life without hurting/disappointing anyone, compromise isn't always an option. But it's important to be able to recognize when you've done something shitty, because that's how you learn to do better in the future. Ideally, your remorse over the way you treated your ex will stop you from this kind of "emotional cheating" in the future. You'll remember the way it made her feel, and if you're ever in a similar situation you'll handle it better.

That kind of learning can't happen if you're always justifying your actions, if you HAVE to believe you're a good person who wouldn't hurt anyone. None of us are good people 100% of the time, but awful people find a way to believe they are. They don't learn from their mistakes, because they don't really believe they've made any. It's always someone else's fault, or there's always a reason it was OK for them to do what they did.

>>18246822
Damn dude truth bombs

>>18246864
sge has vaginitis bro she can't have sex lol. You left your cute loyal gf for a girl who can't even take cock. That's why she's single bruh. She needs someone to not have sex with but act like their bf

>>18246926
JESUS dude. Don't stomp on someone's heart you asshole. If you're gonna hurt it at least do minimal damage

>>18247438
At least you finally got the balls to stop torturing the two of you.

Mark this one as a bad relationship op. Hoped you learned some stuff about yourself. It's good you two split for all parties

>>18247864
Same.

Relationships take work and commitment and aren't just about feelings to be honest. When you hit 30, you'll realize it wasn't worth starting a life over again with someone when you had something that was working.

Not to derail this shitfest but how do I know if I am someone's "make do"? I never want to be lied to like that for 6 years .. .like OP did to his girlfriend. He led her on for 6 fucking years, every single year, she probably invested herself more into the relationship while OP knew she was his makedo. My god, how do you live with yourself.
Nancy sounds like a bore btw. Hopefully she'll fuck you over once the excitement wears off because she knows shit all about what it means to truly be in a relationship.

>>18246947
OP literally admitted he was having an emotional affair with another woman. He let himself get tempted and then abondoned a perfectly good and loyal girl of 6 years. He's a monkey-brancher and a cheater.

>>18246673
There's nothing wrong in being a "homewrecker". If a single person fucks someone who's taken, the blame is on the person who's taken, not the single one. If there's no cheating involved, but one person simply leaves their former partner for a new one, no one is in the wrong.

Also, women will often justify anything that makes them happy.

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>>18247360
>I've been with my girlfriend for 10 years. I've been with her this long because I haven't met anyone that I like more than her. At this point I highly doubt I will, but if I did somehow meet someone that makes me happier, why should I not want to be with them?

>>18248309
>There's nothing wrong in being a "homewrecker".


Jesus Christ this board.

>>18246673

Okay here's the thing

you're hypothesizing about whether or not this girl is a "bad person" (whatever that means) to avoid taking responsibility for your mistakes

Get real about the situation. You were with someone for 6 years. You took interest in attention from someone else and you participated in a dynamic that you yourself describe as "emotionally cheating" which really is just a fancy way of saying "I didn't fuck the girl but I broke a hell of a lot of boundaries and I know my ex would be devastated if she saw the texts"

To cope with the guilt from that by externalizing it (see: by blaming someone else) you are currently trying to convince yourself that "Nancy" is some kind of succubus from hell

This post is just teeming with latent denial

>>18247308

Your own guilt is showing lmao. Of course you can end a relationship for whatever reason you want to. That being said let's not pretend it's appropriate and respectful to start a new relationship while your old is still happening. You're being unreasonable.

>>18247403
The OP himself called this behavior cheating.

>>18246673
my dad married a home wrecker. i guess to each his own. i personally would leave if i find out a guy likes someone else, idk why i didnt do it the last time i shouldve left. usually that would be my moral.

>>18246673

>too stupid to see that if she's ok with you doing it with your ex, she is ok with her doing it to you.

>>18247308

>ending a relationship because you're not happy
Ok that's fine
>so scared of being alone that you stay in your current relationship while seeking out new ones

Now you're being a fag

>>18249283
Op here.

This is what scares me the most the. That Nancy will leave me.

She's said things like 'what if someone better comes' and that she's not as patient and wouldn't have stayed with me in a couple of times I had in my life when I went through failures at uni.

My ex stuck with me. But man I love Nancy so fucking badly and we have so much more in common.

But I feel obligated to my ex even though my ex also acknowledges that we maybe should have broken up in the past because of the crying and shit whenever I'd banter with her.

Physically Nancy is what I'm looking for and the stuff she does is what I like. She's the exact type of girl I wished my fuckin ex would be.

>>18249743
>what if she leaves me
>she has already said she would have left me at other points in my life

You're gonna fucking find out, dude.

>crying and shit whenever I'd banter with her

If you are making the other person cry, it isn't banter. That sounds more like insulting.