Desperate for intimacy

>>18246028
>tl;dr: im lonely i want a gf
yeah me too

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>>18246060
i know dat feel, brother. Stay strong anon

>>18246028
Life won't always be this way. Hang in there. Don't give up.

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>>18246092
I hope you're right but honestly knowing myself i think it's gonna be like this for a while :((

Dude, i didn't give a single shit about being a virgin till 19 and.. It just happened. Just be sure to meet as many people as possible, and you'll eventually get better and social skills and being smooth.

>>18246124

You're 19. Your idea of "a while" is probably a couple of years at best. Use that time to do something with yourself. Get fit, become more learned in a subject or subjects of your choosing. Learn social skills. Get a new hobby. Try and find a new job if necessary.

Life changes every single day in little ways that are not necessarily perceptible. Things will change. Stop worrying about the future that hasn't happened and the past that has already happened, and make use of the now.

>>18246139
It only started to bother me recently desu especially since I'm abstaining from masturbation. My social skills aren't bad imo. I mean i can have some okay conversation with people. i just don't have crazy stories to tell people everytime.

>>18246160
Alright but why the hell do some people get relationships without having to do all that stuff. It's easier said than done I mean I already go to the gym and my social skills are better than ever but fuck it's kinda frustrating knowing that some people don't need to pull that much effort while it's something that's currently impossible for me.

25 year old virgin here. I need more help than you.. Cold approaches don't work for me. I don't go to night clubs. Can't date in office... Where do I find ladies?!

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>>18246425
Fuck man that's really tough. At this point i'd recommended you online dating even though it's filled with not the most desirable people desu. I mean at least you have the guts to approach women. I can't even do that. Stay strong, Anon

Here's the deal:

If you are desperate then stop fapping and use that sexual frustration as motivation to ask girls out, any girl you find attractive just ask her out.

Now, here's the catch, 9 out of 10 will say no, but when that one says yes it will feel great.

Problem is giving how you are completely clueless about everything you're gonna mess it up, there's no other way around it, you gotta get rejected time and time again until you hit the jackpot for absolutely no reason.

That's how Chads do it, they just hit on every girl ever and eat rejection for breakfast, Chads have the same statistical sucess as your average Joe, difference is 10% of 100 is 10 but 10% of 0 is 0.

>>18247096
The problem is that I DONT fap but i just can't bring myself to talk to a girl. I just can't it's so frustrating. I'm doing NoFap mainly to get a gf desu

>>18246217
Stop worrying about how things go for other people. Some people are born millionaires, some people are born with terrible birth defects. It's not about other people it's about you.

>>18246028
Man, I am almost 24 and literally going through the same frustration. You're right that it does not end. All I can say is FUCK because we're just supposed to forget about never finding love our short time here before death god damn

>>18247725
I think he's not worrying for other people. I'm kinda in the same situation as OP, just a little older.

When I really improved myself (fitness, social skills, attitude, etc.) and stopped being insecure about myself, I started to notice flaws in other people that I had before.
When I had these flaws, it was all for my disadvantage. But for other people, it didn't mean a thing.
I sit at the computer for hours and do nothing? Nerd.
A friend of mine does the same thing, but every day all day long? A very cute girl just throws herself at him, he didn't even need to approach her. (Just be yourself I guess)

It can be so frustrating to work hard on yourself and then see 0 results. Just while other people are in the same situation, do nothing, and get all of the results.

Another friend of mine is a literal 9/10 guy and he gets approached by girls all of the time when we're lifting together, while I'm not (at all). He's in a long term relationship and likes the attention, but doesn't want the girls. Then I'm sitting there thinking "If I were you, I probably had way more success with women and wouldn't have these kind of problems".
But that's exactly the situation you post is about. I can't transform myself into a 9/10 guy suddenly, so there's no need to be mad about this. It's just how things are.

There's a huge difference between the two situations I described:
In the first, me and the other guy are really alike, yet I feel like he's having it way easier than me and I don't get the reasons. It feels like the reason is just me for being myself.
In the second situation, it's just genetics. Life is unfair and I get all the reasons why my 9/10 friend is having way more success with girls than me.

Damn, feels like I should have written this in the 'get it off your chest' thread.

>>18246028
I'm in the exact same boat. I wish I could offer hope, but I have none. There was a developmental period where we were supposed to learn how to interact with women and we missed it.

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>>18247972
Yea man you've described my situation perfectly. I worked so much on improving myself and went from being a literal NEET when i was 17 to being described as "having my life together" by one of my coworkers but still no freakin results.

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>>18248170
Fuck man I never knew there was a development period for that. I'm pretty sure that I was a shy loser faggot at the time assuming it is during your early teenage years. I was always getting mocked cause my cheeks would always be blushing allot in stressful social situations :(
It's from family genes on my dad's side, allot of us blush allot which really sux

Didn't even hold a girl's hand until I was 23, and now have slept with two different married girls because they literally begged me to fuck them. Honestly not sure if this is progress or regression.

The point is, things will change for you. Focus on talking to people and getting good at small talk.

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>>18248259
Yea man desu when i made this thread i was feeling like fucking shit and after that i went to sleep, woke up and felt even more like shit but then when i got to work and started to talk with people i felt SO MUCH BETTER. As if all my problems were gone. At the end of my shift i was happy. socializing with people is really important. Btw How did you manage to get those 2 girls attracted to you?

>>18247096
>Now, here's the catch, 9 out of 10 will say no, but when that one says yes it will feel great.
What if 10/10 say no? 20/20?400/400?
Because I forgot how many have said, no, all I know is that it was all of the. What should I do? I don't have a will of steel.

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>>18248768
That fucking sucks man :/ I would've given you some advices if i knew how to properly ask out girls.

To be 100% honest, when it comes to finding love, the less you care the luckier you gef

>>18249600
I wish I could give you advice too. I'm 19 also and in college. Supposedly this should be the definitive place where I can fuck with slutty girls all over the place, but all dates I had ended up ghosting me. I also can't go to parties due to not being invited by my friends.

>>18249618
If I cared less, I wouldn't even talk to girls.

>>18249623
To continue, at least on one of my dates, i managed to kiss on the lips no tongue though. We also held hands and hugged. So If you need some advice, I will try my best to explain what to do to at least get that far(not that I have much experience)

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TL;DR picture more interesting than post, pic related.

>>18246425
Just go to a brothel and once you have sex women won't be THAT scary to you. Get a bit drunk before you go if you're nervous. Then try going night clubs by yourself if you have nobody yo go with if you drink it'll be easy to talk to girls you wont feel embarrassment until the next morning implying that you remember anything or even care (you shouldnt)

>>18249983
Beware of whiskey dick

>>18249618
>>18249625
Same i'd already have a gf if that was true. girls aren't gonna magically approach me like that

>>18249626
Yea bro tell us how you got this far

>>18246028
>girls can apparently sense that in guys that they haven't gotten laid which is a turn off for them
no
> i have almost no friends
that's a start
>do you really think that i will find a worthy parter on a shitty free hookup app?
why not? tons of people do

you're only 19 dude, you're fine. but you should first not be a miserable piece of shit. having a girlfriend won't make you any better. start by bettering your life.

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>>18250416
Well desu when I made this post i was really feeling down and I did a good job at making it sound like i have a shitty life but I don't it's just that I don't have a girlfriend and THAT makes me sad.

sounds to me like your just a dork. your not part of anything wether that be having piercings or tattoos or being a wigger douch bag. being apart of a certain genera will help. but if your just sitting there with your american flag shirt listen to creed playing video games all day your not gunna get anywhere. my advice is to get out go get drunk an do stupid shit at your age girls are super slutty. go fuck a prostitute hell. beleave me when i say once your old enough for the bar sence everything will fall into place including drunk whores

>>18250736
>beleave me when i say once your old enough for the bar sence everything will fall into place including drunk whores
WTF the fuck that even supposed to mean???

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>>18250736
Tbh i'd only want to have sex if i am in a relationship with the girl. Also yea go ahead just make assumption about me. I don't play videos games and I rarely watch Youtube nowadays.

>>18250410
Well, the handhold happened when we were jumping over a puddle(yeah its dumb) and we both decided to hold hands. Then it took off with hand holding. We hugged as a goodbye. At first she went to hug e, but after she started ghosting me, I intitated the hug. As for the kiss, I asked stupdily"a kiss for goodbye?". She laughed and said no, but then thought about it and let me kiss her . That's the best I can explain it. I don't know about your situation, but most girls won't let you that far, and with her I think I got lucky, but maybe she just tolerated me. Maybe you could ask a girl to hug you or kiss you out of politeness.

>>18251739
Ah so she's your female friend?

>>18251767
No we met on tinder and I asked her out on a date.

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>>18251912
Ah i see, do you recommend tinder for someone who's only looking for a relationship? How many dates have you gotten from Tinder?

>>18246028
Same boat OP but maybe one stage further in progression. I feel like I've asked every question and received every answer. After so much rewiring, figuring out why, self reflecting, it's like I don't want it anymore, intimacy, don't want it at all. That's not even by conscious effort, I mean I do not picture myself with a girl anymore, it makes me sick or uncomfortable, I almost envy you OP & how I was back when I wanted it so bad, soo bad I was driven by that solid cemented idea that something nice would eventually happen, and like that Louis CK line I guess it eventually click, why the fuck would ANYTHING nice ever happen. And in your head it's like "Oh." I guess this is the current reality then. It doesn't hurt but you definitely can tell part of you has just died somewhere, in a horcrux far away that Harry Potter has just found.

>>18252200
Well tinder generally sucks because there are always guys better than you and you will get ghosted by almost all girls, but I haven't experienced it more differently than when I get to know grisl face to face. If you don't have freinds that ca get you into parties or with which you can get to know more girls you don't have much choice other than getting tinder or another dating app. So far I've only gotted 2 dates from tinder.. All the other ones ghosted me before we met, even if they agreed to meet me. The first date went well, but she ghosted me after that, with the other girls I explained it already.

>>18252325
Damn how old are you bro?

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>>18252847
I don't go to parties mate and I don't have the balls to approach girls in public. I just can't for some reason as desperate as I am. Maybe online dating is my only option after all... Do you usually go after girls that are more attractive, less attractive or as attractive as you?

>>18254061
I don't go to parties mate and I don't have the balls to approach girls in public.
Same with me. I actually managed however to get to know like 2 or 3 girls by asking academic questions but we didn't meet after that. 2 girls asked themselves what my name was and after that I met them another 2 times at the diner or lecture but they never contacted me again(I managed to get one's number). I get extremely few matches but those that I get and aren't bots are around 4-7/10. I consider myself a 6/10(white, 6'2, brown hair blue eyes not balding, but no 6pack). Not that it matters, they all ghost me.

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feels bad man

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>>18255302
Feels like my heart was thrown in a bucket of boiling tears.

>>18246028
Hey OP, just letting you know it doesn't go away. 23 here and graduated. Never made any friends or girlfriends. We live in a social circle culture. At this point the circles are closed and you're as fucked as me.

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>>18254724
Hmm do you go to the gym? Maybe it's because the girls didn't like your personality or something?

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>>18255328
If my situation doesn't improve i'm gonna try online. You should too mate.

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>tfw 26 and haven't had any physical contact since the cute druggie chick in the suspension campus let me grab her boob in class when she figured out I'd never had a gf, throwing her arms up and exclaiming "yay, firstboob!' after I let go
Sometimes I grab my thigh to remember what it felt like.

OP, just decide how much longer you wanna live, what you'd like to do or own in that time, do it, then pick a date and end it all. See you on the other side.

Here's a good checklist:
>are you in good physical shape, below 27-28 BMI?
>do you have at least 1 productive hobby?
>do you regularly socialise with friends?

If you said no or were even unsure about any of those, fix your god damn life first

>>18254038
21

>>18247021

21 here in same position. I made a fake account to see what's out there without personal information. It's not pretty, all the women are just trash with no redeeming qualities. If you live in the countryside in the UK it's difficult.

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>>18255818

As someone who was a total degenerate and then got in good physical shape and started working/friending more; women pay way more attention to me, but still lonely cus no approach

>>18255564
I rarely go to the gym because there are no instructors and fitizens there keep saying that I'm lifting wrong without explaining how. There are supposedly very specific angles and hand positions which I can'tt understand no matter what.

As for personality, the first girl I dated from tinder said I'm funny, and the several girls have called me an interesting person. I can't see what is disgusting girls that they keep ghosting me since they never tell me what they don't like about it.

>>18255818
I know people who didn't check out on any of these and still got a gf or gfs.

>>18246028
Almost the same spot as you, had my first kiss at 19, one more at 21, and that's it (21 yo currently, turning 22 in less than a month)

It's a real struggle idk what to tell you. For me going forward my plan is to

1. Take a lot more risks to try and get a girl
2. Try and expand my circle of friends
3. Try and workout to be better looking
4. Try not to be upset about it emotionally

Tbh, I am starting to panic a little bit that I'm gonna be 22 and have little experience but it's not like those kind of thoughts are gonna help you solve the problem.

>>18248259
God bless you, hope has arrived, no throw down some advice.

>>18252325
Don't give up man, not until every option has been exhausted if you tried everything you could think of you can be satisfied in having no regrets.

>>18255877
You can work on yourself and approaching simultaneously, that's what I'd do.

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5'1 22y/o male here
I've only had sex once and it was with a prostitute. My friend's set me up with her. The feeling of regret and discuss I felt afterwards was jarring. The whole time I couldn't help but notice that she did not want to be there. She did not want to be with me. The only physical intimacy I've had I paid for and I enjoy it because it is an empty gesture for cash.

From the way I've heard older forever alone guys talk it seems that you aren't free until you come to accept your loneliness, or at least the idea that you may never share intimacy with another human in any meaningful way. Once there you are lifted from the curse of feeling like a failure. The endless stream of feelings of inadequacy doesn't change but your relationship to them does. The haze of angst,anger,loneliness, and sorrow lifts just enough that you can start allocating more mental energy on things that you can change.

That's what I've heard at least...


The way I see it currently you have 3 choices
-Accept your loneliness(How I don't know)
-Distract yourself with other hobbies or vices(currently where I'm at)
- Keep obsessing about how lonely you are until it consumes you(still trying to get out of this one)


We will all die soon enough. Try to have fun regardless of the limitations

>>18246028
Also 19 and a lonely virgin here.
I made a deal with my mates regarding this issue, if I don't get laid until august, we're going to a brothel.
I mean, who gives a shit? I think you should do something like that too. Like others said in this thread, after you get laid, your anxiety before women should decrease. Of course, this is just speculation from me, since I haven't went through with it yet, but it makes a lot of sense, since the mere fact that you won't have to carry the title of virgin on you the whole time will relief you a lot.
My advice is to focus on other things. Keep lifting, study more, learn something new. Having sex isn't supposed to be your priority, living should. Keep on doing that and things should happen more naturally. I think you try online too, there is nothing to lose, if you don't like it, drop it.
Hope I could help, have a good one OP.

Here is my thing: I've dated many girls online, but when it comes to girls IRL, I get anxious as fuck. The thought of dating a girl and being intimate with her, makes me guilty. I am 21, and still a virgin, but I feel like I should remain a virgin for rest of life. I really hate the thought of having sex - and putting a cock inside a vagina makes me scared. But I am sexually frustrated. I don't know what's wrong with me.

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>>18255818
>Yes
>Gym
>I socialize with my coworkers, friends at school but I only have one friend that I go out with, but we never go partying or anything.

I guess I'm good to go then?

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>>18256937
I really really just hope that I won't have to resort to prostitutes. I've never even been to a strip club or anything i never wanted to be that kind of person. I just want a good girl to love and her loving me back. I hope you find a girl before august bro. Step up your game.

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>>18256942
Fight your fears, maybe you're scared cause you don't know what to expect?

>>18257586
read
>>18256504


It could make you feel worse if you are looking for a meaningful connection.

>>18257586
Stop looking at strip clubs as a negative thing. They were made for social autists to learn how to be comfortable around women. Every time you speak to a woman, you should be thinking "so this is how some girls think about this" or "oh she responds well to this, I should try it with someone similar to her" Also you shouldn't give a fuck about strippers. They are put out of your reach and get paid to leave you unsatisfied. Literally the only way you will sleep with a stripper if you aren't rich is the same way you will end up sleeping with a normal girl.

Also stop giving too much of a fuck about women that only exist as a tool for your pleasure. If you want to be committed to a onahole, be my guest.

Now if you want a serious relationship, then you will have to have a life of your own that is compatible with the life of said woman. You then combine lives and everything should feel pretty comfy.

>>18257586
Lol you have a weird definition of love bro. Banging some prostitute won't do shit man.

You're not missing out on anything if you have never been to a strip club.

>>18246028
so start dressing hotter or shut the fuck up. its that simple. when i dressed hot people came to me like magnets. thats the way the world works. get used to it.