Lost Love

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I'd truly appreciate your help tonight, /adv/.

TL;DR
I texted an ex earlier tonight by mistake. I found her number on a piece of paper in my wallet and tried it, but I realized my mistake once I knew who was on the other end. As of 2 months ago, we're not supposed to talk to each other anymore. Now we only feel worse about each other and we must start the healing process all over again. What does /adv/ do when they've been irreparably severed from the one they love?

The full story:
I met a girl at a friend's house party when I was 17. She told me she was 15, which was fine with me. She looked, talked, and acted as if she were 15 years old, or perhaps older. She was sweet and polite and everything I found intriguing in a person. We got drunk and fooled around, and mutually decided to keep in touch after that.

She definitely had issues with her mental health, as I did / still do, and she would ask me to cut her and hurt her the next time we should meet. She was very possessive and anxious; my therapist suggested she may have been a victim of past abuse. Our conversations were sometimes obscene in this way, but we also shared many deep and personal discussions. No matter where we are now, I'll always cherish those good conversations.

cont'd. below